


Galestorm

by LokiRavenscraft



Category: Danganronpa, One Piece
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:19:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 83,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9413564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiRavenscraft/pseuds/LokiRavenscraft
Summary: Luffy picks up another crewmate at Shell Island. Kai has a rough past, but she just might fit in with this crazy crew. Reposted from FF.net.





	1. Meetings and Greetings

**Author's Note:**

> One Piece and Danganronpa are not owned by me. Graphic violence tag because fights, mentions of rape/non-con in later chapters.

Shellfish Island.

It was a quaint, sleepy little town set around a large bay with a stunning view of the ocean. There was a small mountain behind it, and forests to either side, the greenery sloping down and giving way to soft gold sand. It was a nice place, I supposed. Nice if you wanted to retire and fish all day or raise kids. So…nice, but not fun. At least, not my definition of fun.

The Marine Base tower looming over the town was a pretty big deterrent to any of my particular brand of Fun To Be Had, considering that I was unlikely to find a good fight here. Which was alright with me.

_No, really. It's fine._

After all, haggling with merchants is kind of like fighting, right?

"You don't know what you're talking about, kid. This is fine steel! Best in the town for hunting supplies! I can't part with this for less than 200 beli."

I quirked an eyebrow upward, and reached out to delicately tap the metal of the dagger with my knuckle, and frowned at the ringing noise that came from it. "That doesn't sound like high quality steel. In fact, it sounds like too much sulfur was used during forging. I'm not going to buy low-quality daggers."

The merchant frowned mightily, which did interesting things to his flabby jowls. I found myself unable to look away, disgusted and intrigued at the same time.

"Look kid, it's the best I've got in stock right now." He glanced around, then leaned forward as if imparting a great secret. "The Marine Captain up at the base came through a few days ago and bought all the good steel from all of the merchants. We're making do with what we've got, but we won't have production back up for another two days."

_Two days, huh?_

I frowned, then nodded to myself. "I'll be back when you've actually got good product in then."

The man sighed, then raked his eyes down me, making a judgement call based on my weather beaten clothes. "If you're looking for a berth in the meantime, Lena's Room and Board is the best in town, cheap drinks and rooms."

My lips stretched into a smile as I relaxed. "Pegged me for a sailor pretty quickly there old man. You do any traveling yourself?"

He grinned. "Oh, a bit. You know how it is to be young and full of wanderlust." His expression grew serious again. "And be careful around the marines here."

_He's warning me away from them? Interesting. Something's up._

"I'll be careful, old man. Thanks for the heads up."

I adjusted my sea bag over my shoulder and continued on into town. It was still a pretty town, but the feeling of 'nice' I'd gotten from it earlier had evaporated in wake of the strange warning about the town's marines. Everywhere I looked, I got the sense of wrongness, like a bump you keep scratching but the itch won't fade. People clustered together in small groups, talking quietly. Kids being hushed by mothers whose eyes kept glancing behind them. People constantly on edge, like someone is about to come hurt them or take away their families. I kept the frown off of my face as I stepped up into the shade of a patio, and opened the door of a building marked "Lena's Room and Board" in bold white letters.

The front of the building seemed to be the dining area, and it was moderately filled with people who didn't even glance up at me as I walked in and took a place at the bar, setting my bag down beside me. A harried looking woman with dark hair and eyes bustled up and set a water down in front of me, then disappeared into the back. Over the hum of patrons I could vaguely hear her worriedly call for someone.

_Her kid, maybe? She looks old enough to be a mom._

When she came back out, I flagged her down. It took her a second to notice me, but she came over quickly enough.

"Hello sir! Have you decided what to order?"

I appraised her, eyed the other clientele, then leaned forward to speak in a soft voice. "I just got into town, but I couldn't help but notice how jumpy everyone is. Is there something going on?"

_**Shit** , she looks like she's going to cry. Fuck, please don't cry, please don't cry…..awwww _ _**hell.** _

I tried not to panic as the woman started telling me about a corrupt marine lieutenant who terrorized the town and let his son do whatever he liked and how this nice young man had saved her daughter and gotten _taken away by the marines and now she can't find her daughter and she **can't go look for her because she's got the shop to run and…**_

I panicked.

"I'll go find your daughter!" I interrupted hastily, trying to ignore the other customers who were giving me death glares for making the woman cry. She, however, stopped crying as suddenly as she had begun, and beamed at me. I swallowed nervously at the abrupt change of emotion.

"You will! Thank you! Her name is Rika. She's 7 years old, with black hair in pigtails, and she was wearing a pink striped dress today."

I hastily dug in my pockets for some money, and shoved it at the woman. "Could you watch my bag for me? I was going to get a room here tonight, so if you could consider this a down payment…"

_You're starting to babble. Shut up._

The woman's thanks followed me as I left the building. I leaned against a wall and groaned as my stomach grumbled. "I didn't even get to eat!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of pink. My head whipped around and I grinned at the sight of a tiny girl sneaking around the corner with a package in her hand.

_Found you already! It's my lucky day!_

 

* * *

 

It was not my lucky day.

I had overtaken the kiddo sure enough, but when I asked why she was carrying around some onigiri, she told me all about her 'Big Brother' who had saved her from some kid named Helmeppo.

_Helmeppo? Really? Who names their kid something like that? Dude's parents must hate him._

Anyway, it seemed as if this schlep – _hey, Schleppo! That's what I'll call him.-_ had some huge wolf who he let run wild. The wolf attacked Rika, and was killed by a kid with green hair and three swords.

_Which sounds really familiar, why is that familiar…Aw fuck. Roronoa Zoro? The Pirate Hunter?_

So long story short, the onigiri were for Zoro, who had been imprisoned by Schleppo for killing the wolf. And Rika wasn't going home until 'Big Brother' got fed. And I wasn't going back without Rika. Ergo, I was off to help a kid find a bounty hunter who was likely to be irritable due to hunger.

_And I've got a ten million beli bounty on my head. Awesome._

I tugged the hood of my jacket down further over my face as I trotted along behind the tiny slip of a girl, who was beginning to look nervous.

"Oi, oi, what's that look for?" I asked her. She bit her lip and looked down.

"Well, there's a really tall wall where Brother is. I need a ladder to climb over it." She replied, and I grinned at her.

"A ladder, huh?"

"Uh huh. There's one behind Mr. Dek's shop."

_Awww, look at the little burgeoning outlaw! 'Borrowing' things already!_

"Well, let's go get it then!" I decided, ruffling her hair and grinning at her displeased squawk.

 

* * *

 

When we reached the compound, there were two kids already there. One had a straw hat and red vest, and the other looked like a cabin boy. He also had pink hair, and coke bottle glasses. _Nerd._

Ahem.

"So this is the place then, yea?" I asked Rika, who nodded at me. I cracked my neck, then swung the 'borrowed' ladder off my shoulder and placed it against the wall. "You gonna be okay jumping down?"

"Yep!" she replied, and scampered up. She looked at the two boys and shushed them imperiously. It was all I could do to not laugh.

_She's a mini Hancock! All she needs is to look so far down her nose at them that she's looking up!_

She scooted over the side of the wall and dropped to the ground below as I took her place, sitting casually on the wall, kicking my feet out. The pink haired kid next to me half-heartedly tried to stop her. "Hey, Stop! That's dangerous!" He loudly whispered at her. He tugged at my sleeve to get my attention. It took a bit.

_That's…definitely Roronoa Zoro._

"Stop her! She could be killed!" The pink haired kid was trying to recruit the straw hat to the rescue effort now. I sighed, and rubbed my face.

"Look kid, she's not going to get hurt." I told him.

"How are you so sure?" He snapped at me.

**"I'm not hungry! Go away!"**

My head snapped up to watch the Pirate Hunter and Rika carefully, and winced as I saw a small group of marines heading towards the grounds from the main base.

I _moved_ , and was by Rika in seconds, hefting her with one arm. "We'll be back after the marines are gone. Roronoa, _we weren't here._ " I bit out, and raced back to the wall, vaulting it just in time.

An annoying voice floated over the wall. "Roronoa Zoro! It's such a pleasant day!"

"Tch. Well if it isn't the lieutenant's bastard son." And apparently Roronoa sounded even more growly when angry. I set Rika down and hushed her before climbing the ladder to watch what was going on.

A stupid looking blond haired fop was talking to Roronoa, with two marines standing behind him like bodyguards. "I didn't think you'd have this kind of endurance! Do you really think you can make it one whole month? It's only been nine days, and look how pitiful you are!"

_I kinda really want to punch this blond kid. That's gotta be Schleppo._

"You had better keep your promise." Roronoa rumbled at Schleppo. The fop laughed and began to leave.

"Oh, I'll keep it. You stay alive one whole month, and you're free to go."

My eyes narrowed.

_I wouldn't trust that kid as far as I could throw him._

"Big Brother! Is it safe to come up now?" Rika interrupted me from my thoughts of drop kicking blond haired idiots.

I dropped from the wall and scooped her up, grinning widely.

"Yup! Let's go give those onigiri to your knight in sour armor!"

 **"I heard that."** An annoyed voice grumbled from beyond the wall. I chuckled, and started back up the ladder for what was hopefully the last time.

"Hey, hood guy! What's your name?" the kid in the straw hat caught my attention.

"Kai. And you are?"

"Monkey D. Luffy! I'm going to be the Pirate King!" The kid had a million watt smile. "You're really fast! Want to join my pirate crew!"

_W-what?_

After choking on thin air for a few seconds, I set Rika down on the edge of the wall and stared hard at Luffy.

_He's serious. Eh….why the hell not. After all, I need to get back to Grand Line anyway. And if I decide he isn't worth sailing under by then, I can always ditch him and handle my business on my own. Still, it's interesting that he asked me to join him. It can't just be because I'm fast. Impressed with how protective I am of Rika? Possibly. That or he's not the idiot he makes himself out to be. Interesting._

"Sure, why not." I agreed easily. The pink haired kid's eyes grew incredibly big and he began shrieking.

**"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"**

Luffy laughed, and then hushed him, looking at Roronoa and Rika intently.

"You gonna try to recruit Roronoa too?" I asked him, following his gaze. He nodded, watching the swordless swordsman eat the onigiri Rika gave him. He swallowed the last bite with an almost indiscernable grimace on his face while Rika watched him with those huge puppy eyes.

"It was good. Thanks."

I smiled.

_He's not such a bad guy._

I hopped down from the fence. "Oi, come on Rika. I'm gonna send you home with the pink haired kid, alright? Let's get you outta here before more soldiers come."

"Okay. Bye big brother!" She trotted over to me, arms outstretched, and I swung her up and onto the top of the wall with help from the pink haired kid and Luffy.

"Oh, pink hair."

"My name is Coby!"

"Coby then. Get Rika home."

"O-okay!"

While I handed Rika off to the pinkette, Luffy jumped down from the wall and walked over to stand in front of Roronoa. The swordsman stared at him for a few moments before groaning resignedly.

"You haven't left yet? Get out of here."

"Nah. Don't want to. I'm looking for people to join my pirate crew." Luffy said bluntly, with a smile.

Roronoa blinked, then let his head thunk against the wood behind him. "Pirate? So you just gave up on life and became a criminal."

Luffy frowned at him. "It's my dream. There's nothing wrong with being a pirate."

"So what? Don't tell me you're gonna set me free and force me to join you." Roronoa said sarcastically, and with what I thought was a bit of humor.

"Eh…I haven't decided yet. Everyone thinks you're a bad guy."

"A bad guy, huh." The swordsman coughed a bit, then straightened as much as he was able to. "Look, I'm never gonna join you. I have things I need to take care of. I'll be fine even if you don't help me. I just need to stay alive for one month, and then that bastard kid will let me go, so I'm gonna do everything I can to stay alive and fulfill my dreams."

Luffy beamed at him. "Really!?"

Roronoa nodded. "That's why we're different, so go find someone else to join you."

I laughed, and they both turned to look at me. "I like him, Captain." I said. I strode up, unscrewing the lid from my canteen and thrusting it into Roronoa's face.

"Hey, Kai, are you a vampire?" Luffy asked artlessly, peering up into my hood. I blinked twice before answering him.

_There's no way he could know about that._

"No."

"I've never seen anyone with red eyes before though!"

"Vampires don't have red eyes, Luffy." I replied calmly while Roronoa warily leaned away from the canteen. "It's just water, stubborn swordsman. Drink it before you dehydrate." I ordered. He kept his glare up for a few more moments before closing his eyes in resignation and taking a few sips.

"Hey Kai, let's go back to town." Luffy said from over by the wall.

_When did he get over there?_

"Giving up on Roronoa so quickly?" I called back.

"Nope!"

"Eh, alright. Coming."

I upended the contents of the rest of the canteen over the swordsman in an impromptu shower and left him spluttering as I followed Luffy back to town.

 

* * *

 

We found Coby and Rika at the entrance to town, and after pointedly grilling Coby about why he didn't _take Rika home,_ I leaned against a wall as she explained what happened to them.

"He didn't do anything wrong! He got arrested because of me. He killed Helmeppo's pet wolf because Helmeppo let his wolf run around and everyone was scared of it." She said sadly. I sighed, pushing my hood off my head to run a hand through my hair. 

_So the swordsman is honorable and kind to kids. The marines in this town are clearly corrupt. I'm betting Luffy will want to recruit him even more now. He seems to hate people who abuse their power._

"So you're saying that he only was arrested for killing Helmeppo's pet wolf?" Luffy clarified with a dawning smile.

Coby straightened his glasses with a thoughtful expression. "You're right…So maybe he has a bad temper, but chasing down pirates isn't enough of a crime to get him arrested."

Rika nodded angrily and sat down next to Luffy. "The only bad guys are the Morgans! You'll get executed if you disobey them, so everyone is scared of them." She huffed. I sighed and pulled my hood back up over my head. Luffy started to say something, but was interrupted by the worst sounding laughter I'd heard yet coming from the main thoroughfare.

"Who dares raise his head! I'll tell my dad!"

_It's that annoying voice again._

The four of us peeked around the corner to see Schleppo strutting down the road, the townspeople bowing down on their hands and knees to either side of him.

"Do you want to be like Roronoa Zoro? I'm gonna publicly execute him in three days. I'll use him to set an example to the rest of you! It'll be interesting!" He laughed nastily again. Luffy perked up at his words with a slight frown.

"Three days?" Luffy stepped around the corner to face the blond idiot. "Didn't you say you'll give him a month?"

Schleppo sneered at him. "What a rude person! I was only joking with him. Only an idiot would believe that I'd give him a month! Urk!" Luffy punched him in the face, and I grinned as Coby raced to hold Luffy back.

_Yea, I like this kid._

"Luffy, stop! Do you want to piss the marines off or something?" He yelled. Luffy shrugged him off.

"Coby, Kai, I've decided. I'm going to ask Zoro to join me!" He stated firmly, without hesitation. Coby started freaking out even more as the townspeople erupted into frantic exclamations.

"Stop! They're marines!" Coby exclaimed.

"I don't care! A bastard is still a bastard!" Luffy practically snarled.

The fop was helped into a sitting position by his two marine attendants, and shakily held a hand to the side of his face. "H-how dare you hit me! Even my dad hasn't hit me!"

I chuckled as I stepped around the corner as well. "That's because you aren't even worth his time to hit. Man, I've never seen someone so pathetic before." I said calmly, pausing to scoop up Luffy's hat that had fallen off his head.

Schleppo rounded on me. "I'M MARINE LIEUTENANT MORGAN'S SON! I'LL TELL HIM ABOUT THIS!"

_Kid, I'm getting sick of your shit._

I rolled my shoulders in what could have been called a shrug. "Daddy this, daddy that. Can't you do anything for yourself, you damn brat?"

The townspeople reeled in shock, and Luffy took a step forward, but Coby clung to him tighter than a barnacle. "Fight me yourself!" My captain demanded.

Schleppo got to his feet, supported by his flunkies. "You'll regret hitting me! You'll get a death sentence for it!"

Luffy huffed angrily, and I handed him his hat as the marine threesome took off down the street, their idiot charge still shouting threats.

"It's useless to puch people like him." Luffy said as he clapped his hat back onto his head.

"RIKA!" Lena burst out of the crowd, throwing some nice elbows to get people out of the way as she approached her wayward daughter. I edged away from the frantic mother as she herded Rika away from us. Luffy laughed and waved goodbye to them before turning back towards the Marine base.

"We're gonna be in so much trouble! If the lieutenant gets mad he's going to send the marines after us!" Coby was still freaking out.

"We'll deal with it when the time comes! I want to go talk to Zoro again. Come on, Kai!" Luffy said with a grin. I fell in beside him, and glanced over at Coby.

"Oi, Coby. Why do you care so much what the marines do?" I asked, curious.

"I…I want to become a marine. It's my dream!"

_This pipsqueak? That would take an act of **Garp.** But…it's not impossible._

"I see. That's a good dream."

"Eh?" The pinkette looked confused.

"If you want to become a marine to help protect people, that's a good thing." I stated firmly.

"If you think that, why did you join Luffy?" He asked.

"Hm? Oh. I've already got a bounty, and Luffy is an interesting person. I don't see any reason to not join his crew." Coby choked on his own saliva, and I pounded him on the back. "Besides, if Luffy is going to be the Pirate King, he'll need to head to Grand Line, and I've got business back there anyway." There was a pause.

"YOU'RE FROM GRAND LINE?" Coby shrieked in my ear.

"Zehra Kai, from Shabody Archipelago, at your service." I sketched a bow. Coby skittered backwards and I grinned beneath my hood.

_Technically Yotskaar Kairi of Lojsfalnar, but I've got reasons for not using the clan name or stating my home island just yet. Once my business in Grand Line is handled, I'll be able to state my true name with pride. But until then, my mother's maiden name will do._

"And you've already got a bounty?" He asked nervously.

"Ten million Beli."

**"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!"**

I snickered at him as we reached the wall of the base's execution grounds. "I got arrested in Loguetown when I first got to this Blue, and had to fight my way out. The marines didn't like that too much, apparently."

Luffy laughed again at Coby's horrified expression before climbing over the wall. I followed him over, stopping at the top before looking down at the pinkette. "You coming with?"

"You're…you're insane!" He exclaimed. I grinned at him, which seemed to unnerve him even more.

_He's gonna need more guts to be a good marine._

"Grand Line native, remember?" I teased gently as he stormed off. I shook my head and swung off the wall, landing lightly on the dirt inside the grounds. He'd come around. I was sure of it.

"I don't care what they say about me!" Roronoa bit out as I straightened. "I haven't done a single thing that I regretted in the past, and it'll be the same for the future. I won't become a pirate!" He finished firmly. Luffy frowned at him.

"I don't care! You're going to join me!"

"DON'T DECIDE FOR YOURSELF!" Roronoa yelled at him. I chuckled.

_I'm going to have fun making him loose his temper if he joins us._

"Hey, so I heard you use a katana, is that right?" Luffy changed the subject abruptly. Roronoa listed to one side, thrown off his pace.

"Well if I wasn't tied up I could." He said, sounding aggrieved.

"Where is it?" Luffy asked.

"That bastard kid took it. It's the thing that I treasure most other than my life." Roronoa replied.

"Ohh! Treasure, huh! Must be pretty great!" He nodded to himself, then grinned his million beli smile. "Okay! I'm gonna go find the bastard kid and get your katana back!"

"What?!"

"But if you want it back, you'll have to join me!"

 **"THAT'S DIRTY!"** Roronoa yelled. I couldn't help but burst into laughter again.

"Pirates!" I sing-songed, a wide smile on my face, and got a glare for my efforts that only made me start cackling.

"Okay! I'm going! Kai, stay here and watch Zoro!" Luffy ordered as he zoomed off, dust kicking up in his wake.

"Aye aye!" I agreed cheerfully.

"Oi! Wait!" Roronoa exclaimed, struggling against the ropes. He finally gave up, craning his head to watch Luffy scamper off. "Is he planning to sneak into the base! That idiot!"

I snickered at his reaction, and the swordsman turned his glare on me. We stared at each other silently for a few moments before I sighed.

_Might as well tell him._

"Oi. Look, Helmeppo was fucking with you. He told the whole town that he was going to execute you in three days." I explained, hands in my pockets.

Roronoa's head rocked back. "What? No! We have a deal! He said.."

"I know what he said." I cut him off, running a hand down my face. "He lied. Bratty bastard kids do that. He was laughing when he told us, so Luffy punched him in the face."

"Kai! Where's Luffy?" I heard the pinkette's voice from the wall, and glanced over as the kid dropped down from the wall.

"He went inside the base to get the stubborn swordsman's sword." I replied.

"Inside the base?" Coby shook his head. "He's so hot headed." And with that, he marched right up to Roronoa and began undoing the ropes holding the swordsman up. I raised an eyebrow.

_Did he finally get some courage?_

"O-oi! If you help me, they'll kill you!" Roronoa barked at the pinkette.

"You shouldn't have been arrested! I hate corrupt marines! I'm going to become a real marine, just like Luffy is going to be the Pirate King!" Coby gritted out, struggling with the knots.

"What? P-Pirate King! You're joking, right?" Roronoa's jaw dropped.

I missed what Coby said next, because a glint from the top of the tower caught my eye.

_Light reflecting off rifle muzzle, from that angle and direction the aim is...SHIT!_

"GET BACK!" I shouted and _moved_ , knocking Coby out of the way as searing pain _ripped_ through my left shoulder. I spun a bit with the impact, catching my balance unsteadily and wincing as I braced my shoulder with my right hand.

"Kai! KAI!" Coby started screaming as he realized what happened. Roronoa craned his neck to glare over his shoulder at the top of the marine base where the shot had come from.

"You're bleeding!" Coby panicked unnecessarily.

"Yea, I noticed." I gritted out, shedding my black half jacket to get at the wound better.

"You okay?" Roronoa asked as Coby fluttered about.

_Ho? Sounding concerned?_

"Yea. I'm fine." I said, forcing my voice to be even. "I've had worse than this." Zoro scowled, then looked over his shoulder again as we heard shouts coming from outside the grounds.

"You two should run, they're almost here." He said.

"Like hell." I replied, unsheathing one of the daggers I kept in my boots and handing it to Coby. "Get his ropes off if you can." I ordered firmly, regaining my feet and shifting to stand in front of Coby and Zoro as a human shield.

"We can't leave you here. They're going to kill you!" Coby told him, taking the dagger and moving to start getting Roronoa free.

"That's what Kai was telling me earlier." Roronoa said with an exasperated look.

Coby came to a decision. "Then you know the Navy won't let you guys just go. Look, I won't make you become a pirate, but Luffy saved me. He's very strong! If you guys join forces, you'll be able to get out of here!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" The marines had finally arrived, and were leveling muskets at us. I let a snarl pass my lips as I widened my guard stance and shifted to a half crouch. "YOU WHO HAVE BETRAYED LIEUTENANT MORGAN WILL DIE HERE!"

I growled, and rested a hand on the sheathed trench knife at my right hip just as a large guy with an axe for an arm stormed towards us.

"SURROUND THE BASE! DON'T LET THE GUY WITH THE STRAW HAT ESCAPE!" He bellowed at the marines surrounding him before focusing on us. I relaxed, muscles loose and ready for a fight.

_This must be the lieutenant._

"How interesting. Planning to cause a little political upheaval?" His eyes roved over us. "Roronoa Zoro the Pirate Hunter. And Zehra Kai. You may be called 'Godhand', but don't underestimate me. Before me, you're just garbage." He said dismissively.

I laughed, short and sharp. "Underestimate you? Nah, I think I've got you pretty pegged. You think you can actually kill me? The entire Loguetown Marine HQ couldn't do that, so what makes you think you've got a chance?" Zoro made a faint choking noise behind me. The Lieutenant's face twisted angrily.

_That is a lovely shade of puce._

"READY!" He shouted.

Coby began freaking out again.

"AIM!"

I took a deep breath, and shifted my fingers to twist around a ring on my finger.

"FIRE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

And then Luffy fell from the sky and landed in front of me, arms stretched out.

"CAPTAIN!" I shouted, taking a step back in surprise as Luffy's skin stretched where the bullets had struck him. He tensed, and the skin snapped back into place, sending the bullets straight back at the marines with a yell and a laugh.

_That's…a pretty wild Devil Fruit. Rubber, if my guess is correct. Bullets won't work, but a slicing weapon probably would._

"W-WHAT KIND OF HUMAN ARE YOU?" Roronoa yelled from behind me.

Luffy turned away from the destruction he had caused with a fierce grin. "I'm the one who'll be the Pirate King!" He said simply.

_Oi, oi. What kind of answer is that?_

Coby passed out.

Luffy shoved three katanas in Roronoa's face eagerly as I shook my head and retrieved my dagger from the now comatose pinkette. "Look, which one of these is yours? I couldn't figure it out, so I brought all three." Luffy said.

"All three are mine. I use a three-sword style." Roronoa said, eyeing the katanas hungrily. I side-eyed him warily.

_How does he hold the third one?_

Luffy turned back around to face the gathered marines, katanas still in his hands. "Resisting the Navy with me here will make you an outlaw. Or would you rather die?" He asked.

Roronoa stared at him in disbelief. "You son of the devil. I'm not going to die here, so I'll join you and become a pirate." He said, with a slow grin. From the corner of my eye I noticed the marines beginning to charge us and decided to move things along.

"Alright! Let's get these off then." I said, cutting into their moment and ducking around Zoro to cut the ropes with my trench knife. It slid through them easily, and as the last one came off, Zoro shot up and forward. In one movement, he grabbed his swords from Luffy, barreled past him like a cannonball, and blocked every single sword that the marines swung down at him.

"AWESOME!" Luffy exclaimed, his eyes shining like stars.

"Not too shabby." Was my own lackluster reply as I sheathed my weapon.

_So, the third katana goes in his mouth._

As I contemplated the jaw strength necessary to wield a katana in one's mouth, our new crewmember was glaring hard enough at the marines to make them alternatively piss their pants or cry. He grunted slightly, adjusting to the weight of roughly fifteen swords bearing down on him. "If any of you move, I'll kill you." I snorted as the crying became more pronounced.

_I had forgotten how wimpy the Marines here in the Blues are._

Zoro's attention turned to Luffy now that he judged the Marines weren't a threat. "I told you I'd become a pirate with you. Either way, after all this, I'm going to be an outlaw. But. I still have my goals. I'm going to be the World's Greatest Swordsman! I don't care if my name is clean or not. Good guy, bad guy, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that my name is known worldwide." He said fiercely, and I grinned.

_Yea, this was a good idea._

I was also trying to figure out how the **hell** he managed to talk with a sword in his mouth.

"If you do something to get in the way of my goal, I'll kill you." He finished with a low growl, and Luffy laughed at his ultimatum.

"Since you're going to be the Pirate King's crewmember, being the Number One Swordsman in the world is a good thing! It'd be embarrassing if you couldn't accomplish such a small thing!" He said with a smile, and Zoro grinned at him.

"Well said."

"What about you, Kai? What's your dream?" Luffy asked me suddenly. I shifted my weight to one leg and frowned.

"I need to kill a certain person, but beyond that, freedom." I replied seriously.

"WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR? FINISH THEM OFF!" the Lieutenant yelled from the back. Luffy grinned and brought his leg up.

"Zoro, duck!" He said with a happy smile as Zoro's eyes widened.

**"RUBBER…"**

Zoro ducked.

 **"…LEG SWEEPER!"** Luffy yelled as he kicked out, his foot stretching far beyond what a baseline human was capable of. He clotheslined all the marines, sending them flying backwards, and his leg snapped back to normal.

"Ok, really, what are you?" Zoro asked incredulously as he got to his feet and sheathed his swords. Luffy patted his still-outstretched leg, and smiled.

"I'm a rubber man!" He said, and Zoro face faulted.

_Ahhh, that's a fun expression._

"A DEVIL FRUIT?"

I dragged my eyes down to the revived pinkette who was tugging on the front of my shirt. "Oh, Coby. You're awake?" I queried, raising an eyebrow at his frantic expression.

_**"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?"** _

Choosing to ignore his histrionics, I untangled his hands from my shirt and stepped around him to look at our enemies, but pulled up short at what I saw.

"What the hell?" I snapped, and Zoro spun around.

The marines were nervously holding their pistols to their own heads, fingers on triggers, while Morgan strode forward.

"The hell are those idiots doing?" Zoro spat, starting forward to stop them, but Luffy got there first.

"Hey! I'm your enemy! Execute me if you have the guts!" Luffy yelled, catching the descending axe hand of the lieutenant before it could bash into a marine. Coby cheered Luffy on while Zoro and I watched in silence.

"You have no right to oppose me! I'm Marine Lieutenant Axe Hand Morgan!" The large man shouted as he dramatically threw his coat off his shoulders.

"That…is a _stupid_ name." I muttered into the hand now covering my face. Zoro snorted.

"I'm Luffy! Nice to meet you!" My captain said politely while dodging Morgan's swing. The force from said swing split the chain link fence separating the execution grounds from the main base like a hot knife through butter.

 **"DON'T GREET HIM SO POLITELY!"** I screeched. Zoro started chuckling as I reached up to massage the bridge of my nose to stave off the incoming headache.

"His swing split the fence in half!" Coby exclaimed.

"Yea. It's not that hard to do." I commented, beginning to feel tired.

_I wish I had at least eaten today._

"Kai, are you okay? You look really pale!" Coby was tugging at my shirt again, causing my head to tilt from side to side.

"Eh, I'm fine. Tired and a little hungry. Probably not as hungry as this stubborn guy though." I said, jerking my thumb in Zoro's general direction.

"You're still bleeding too! Hang on a second." He let go of my shirt and scampered off behind me. I shrugged my good shoulder at Zoro's questioning look and kept an eye on Luffy's fight.

_The little bouncy ball is a pretty impressive fighter. And he's only going to get better._

"WAIT!"

I recognized the annoying voice as Schleppo's, and turned just as Luffy delivered a stunning punch to Morgan's face.

"I told you to wait!" Schleppo yelled again. I let my hand fall to the trench knife on my belt again as I started to get angry.

The bastard was holding a gun to Coby's head.

"If you move, I'll shoot him!" Schleppo said shakily as I took a step forward, leaning forward slightly.

"No, you won't." I said, pasting a dangerous smirk on my face as I tapped my foot on the ground behind me.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Coby was trembling as he gripped my discarded jacket in one hand, but stood taller than I'd ever seen him before.

"Luffy! I don't want to be in your way! I'm not afraid to die!" He shouted defiantly, and I found myself feeling proud.

_There's that spine I was waiting to see._

"I know!" called Luffy from behind me as I widened my smirk at the fop.

"Hear that, Shcleppo? He's not afraid of death. So what you're doing is pointless." I said silkily.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

"LUFFY! BEHIND YOU!" Coby screamed, and Helmeppo's hand twitched as I heard Zoro shift behind me.

_Tap._

It took me a split second to cross the gap.

I spun, hooking my foot behind Helmeppo's ankles before he could adjust his stance, and gripped the wrist holding the gun with my good hand as he fell. He hit the ground, and I squeezed. He screamed as his wrist broke under the pressure, and I pried the gun away from his twitching fingers and tossed it into a corner of the yard.

"You okay?" I asked Coby as I straightened. He nodded frantically before his eyes focused on something over my shoulder.

"Nice!" Luffy cheered at me, and I turned to face him just as Morgan hit the ground heavily.

_Ah. Morgan tried for a back attack, and Zoro stopped him._

The swordsman tapped his sword against his shoulder with a satisfied smirk as Luffy praised him. "Leave it to me, Captain." Was his simple reply.

I took my jacket back from Coby and slung it over my good shoulder as we began to walk back towards the group. Zoro leaned towards the marines with a dark glare.

"If you still want to arrest us, come and get us." He teased them.

The marines looked at one another, then at us, then at Morgan, then back to each other. A long moment passed. Then they started cheering and whooping and celebrating.

"What." I said flatly.

Zoro suddenly wobbled, and started to collapse. I moved, and caught him just before he hit the ground.

_Damn. Heavier than he looks._

"Zoro?" Luffy asked, looking confused. Coby was going into hysterics yet again behind him. I ignored them both in favor of checking Zoro's pulse at his wrist.

"He's just sleeping, captain." I answered the unasked question. Luffy nodded and moved to help me with our sleeping swordsman. We grinned at each other as we left the Marine base the sounds of celebration going on behind us.

_This…is going to be fun._


	2. A Boat and a Bird

It's funny how one fight can completely change the mood.

From what I could tell, some of the marines had run back to town as soon as Morgan had passed out and begun to spread the news. Some of the townspeople were actually dancing in the streets, and a little old man was throwing hats in the air. As in multiple hats. That he didn't have on his head. Every time his hand went up, there was a new hat in it.

_Where is he getting all of them from?_

Zoro's weight was lifted off my shoulder abruptly, causing me to stumble a bit. I blinked, and looked over at my new captain, who was grinning widely as he pulled the swordsman onto his own shoulder.

"We should get something to eat! Zoro's gonna be hungry when he wakes up!" He said and I chuckled, ignoring the painful throb that came with the motion.

"Aah. He probably will be." I agreed, glancing around until I finally spotted what I was looking for. "There, Luffy." I pointed to Lena's Room and Board. Luffy's grin disappeared, and he gave me a somewhat blank look that I chose to interpret as mild curiosity.

_Does he not know Rika lives there?_

"It's Ri…" I began to explain.

"BIG BROTHER!"

_Oh shit!_

**WHAM!**

Thin arms wrapped around my legs - _too small to be an adult,_ _ **Voice:**_ _match, yea it's her -_ and squeezed, throwing me off balance and causing me to tip forward. I reflexively threw my good arm up before I slammed face first into the cobblestones. "Can't believe I was taken down by a toddler." I muttered under my breath, and Luffy started laughing. I slowly rolled onto my back, but the adorable terror clinging to me didn't let go. I sighed, sat up, and began the arduous process of getting Rika to let go of my legs.

"Rika! Stop clinging and let him up!"

_Lena! I'm saved!_

"And _**you**_ , young man!"

_Oh CRAP!_

Lena scowled at me, leaning over to haul me onto my feet by the front of my shirt. "Honestly! Running around with a wound like that." And with that, she trundled the bunch of us into her inn.

_So am I safe or not?_

 

* * *

 

While Luffy manhandled Zoro upstairs into a bed, I retrieved my sea bag and laid claim to the bathroom for a good hour or so. After sterilizing a pair of forceps, I started digging around for the bullet embedded in my shoulder. Once I had gotten that out, it was a simple matter of cleaning the wound, stitching it up, and covering it with gauze. I frowned at my reflection, plucking at my blood soaked shirt.

_Well, at least it was red to begin with._

After changing into my spare shirt and putting my jacket back on, I joined Luffy and Coby in the front of Lena's diner. Coby was relating the story of how we beat Morgan while Luffy was watching Lena move around the kitchen like a hawk.

"Ah, Kai! You all done?" Coby interrupted his story to ask. I nodded at him and clapped Luffy on the shoulder as I moved past him to take a seat at the table.

"Food will be done when it's done, Captain." I smirked at his pout and made room for Rika to clamber into my lap.

"Na, when do you think Zoro will wake up?" Coby asked me, pushing his glasses further up his nose. I shrugged my good shoulder and sat up straighter in the chair as Rika decided she wanted to stand right between my legs.

_What..._

She pushed my hood off my head, sat back down on my lap, and dragged my left wrist around her tummy.

_...Oh._

I blinked down at her. "Comfy?" I asked. She nodded happily, Luffy beamed at me, and I rolled my eyes as a smile spread across my lips.

_I…can't remember the last time I smiled or laughed so much in one day._

That's when I heard a rumbling noise that could have shaken the foundations of the room. It sounded like some sort of monster originating from the depths of the abyss. Everyone turned to stare at me. Rika's eyes in particular, were as large as dinner plates. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Sounds like your stomach wants to eat you." Zoro's voice intoned from the stairwell, and my gaze snapped up to meet his.

_**Walk:** _ _bit of a limp on the left side._ _**Arms:** _ _cuts and rope burn above and below elbow, holding arms slightly stiff._ _**Breathing:** _ _Looks fairly even, probably fine. Might be a little strained._ _**Face:** _ _nasty cut under one eye, and a long cut at the hairline._ _**Overall:** _ _minor bruises and contusions, a few cuts and burns, no stitches necessary, should heal in a few days._

"Aaah? And how's your own doing, Mr. I-didn't-eat-for-nine-days?" I replied, leaning back with a smirk. His own grin spread slowly across his face.

"Eight." He corrected, clearing the last of the stairs and striding over to take a seat.

"Rika! Come help mama in the kitchen!" Lena called, and the little girl scrambled off me and towards her mom. Zoro tracked her progress, and when she was out of earshot, turned towards me.

"How's the shoulder?" Zoro, I discovered, didn't whisper. He simply spoke in a low, pointedly direct manner that was clearly meant to be heard by only one person.

"Stiff, but should be usable again in about a week if I don't strain it." I replied, one eyebrow kicking up at his display of concern. Before I could say anything more, Lena brought the food over, and then we were all very busy stuffing our faces.

 

* * *

 

"Ah…that was great! I'm so full! I hadn't eaten in so long, I thought I was gonna die!" Zoro closed his eyes and patted his stomach happily as he leaned back in his chair. I grinned, still finishing my plate of hashbrowns, eggs, sausage, bacon, and pancakes. Lena's food was really very good.

"You never would have made it a month!" Luffy huffed around his fork. I grinned, then frowned as I realized I had run out of bacon. I cast a speculative eye at Zoro's plate as he leaned forward to stare at Luffy in disbelief.

"You're both so scrawny. How the hell can you eat more than me?" He muttered, glancing between the two of us. I smirked, then glanced over at Coby. Zoro's eyes flicked over to the pinkette and my hand streaked out towards the swordsman's plate.

"What, your eyes bigger than your stomach, Zoro?" I teased, snagging his bacon just as his gaze returned to me. His eyes widened as he smacked at my hands and missed.

"I never said that!" He huffed, defeated. I scarfed the stolen bacon with a laugh and leaned away from him as I finished up my food. Coby pushed his plate away and turned to Lena with an embarrassed blush that became more pronounced when she smiled benevolently at him.

"Sorry, I ate quite a bit as well." He said.

"Eat as much as you want! You saved our town, this is the least I can do for you boys." She replied, turning back to the stove as Rika decided she wanted up again and forced me to make room for her between myself and the table. Once situated, she bounced up and down while smiling at Luffy, having developed a huge case of hero worship for us after hearing Coby's version of our fight with Morgan.

"You're so strong!" She chirped at him. He grinned, mouth full of food.

"Yup! And I'm going to get stronger too, because I'm gonna be the Pirate King!" He replied, spraying chunks of half-chewed pancake across the table towards us. Rika hid her face in my jacket as I scowled at him from beneath my eyebrows. "And I even have a crew!" He finished, turning towards Zoro, who grimaced and leaned back to avoid the deluge.

"Don't talk with your mouth full!" I snapped good-naturedly, and Luffy swallowed hurriedly. Zoro's expression cleared, and he grinned, slouching back in his chair.

"So, how many other crew members do you have besides me and Kai?" He asked, and I perked up. The rubberman stuffed a sausage into his mouth, and I leaned forward warningly. He finished chewing, and I nodded before chiming in.

"Ah, that's right. You said you were looking for more crewmembers." I recalled how blithely Luffy had asked me to be on his crew. "You were pretty casual about asking me, so you've probably got a lot of people." I finished.

"Just you." Was the immediate answer. Zoro's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped slightly. I felt my own do the same.

"Huh? Then…" He trailed off, mutely pointing at me, himself, and Luffy. Our captain nodded.

"Yep! Just us three!" He confirmed. Zoro's mouth opened, closed, opened, then closed again. I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose with my right hand.

"Oi, oi, you're gonna call three people a pirate crew?" I asked incredulously, feeling a migraine coming on.

"What's with that? We're strong!" Luffy replied stubbornly, and I gave Zoro a **look.**

_I'm out, this one's all yours now. Have fun, and good luck._

He sighed heavily, then turned to lean one elbow on the table, eyebrow slowly hiking towards his hairline. "What about a ship? Do we at least have a pirate ship?" he asked, and Luffy nodded, pointing out one of the windows.

"There."

Zoro and I exchanged another look, and I stood up, evicting Rika from her spot on my lap to look out the window indicated.

There were no ships at the dock except for one tiny dinghy. It had a single sail, a barrel, two oars, and rudder, but that was all. I groaned and let my head hit the wall as Zoro walked up behind me to look. He braced himself against the window and stared for a good minute. A dog walked by the boat and pissed on the side of it. Zoro's eye twitched.

" _That?"_ He sounded utterly defeated.

"We'll have a HUGE ship before long!" Luffy said, sounding very sure of himself. Zoro abruptly broke out into hysterical laughter before turning to face the rubberman.

"And how's that?!" He asked, coming to the realization that _Yes, our Captain is crazy_ at the same time I did. Luffy ignored him in favor of smiling into the ceiling.

"And I'd like a pirate flag too!" He said, clearly daydreaming of a huge ship with fluttering flags. His grin got even wider. "Yea, that'd be great! So cool!"

I dragged a hand down my face. "We're pirates. We'll have a pirate flag. Somehow." I said under my breath, and Zoro pressed his fingers to his temple, feeling the same migraine I was. Coby laughed at our expressions.

"I think Luffy was born without any sense of planning." He said apologetically, and Zoro groaned.

"Did I really make this guy my captain?" The swordsman muttered to himself, and I sighed.

"I'm asking myself the same thing." I told him under my breath. We exchanged a commiserating glance.

_It's up to us to be the sane ones._

"Well, we'll get more crew members before too long!" Luffy said, and it was my turn to break out into hysterical laughter.

"Ahhahahaha! We'd need something bigger than a rowboat before we get more crew members!" I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes briefly at the mental image of stuffing four or five people into the dinghy that would probably barely fit three. Zoro's groan told me he had just imagined the same thing.

Rika bounced up to Luffy with a wide smile.

"Where are you guys gonna go now?" She asked, and Luffy grinned down at her.

"We're going to the Grand Line!" He stated, and Coby spit out his orange juice. The pinkette wiped his face off hurriedly before interjecting.

"You're talking crazy again! You only have three members! You need a navigator!" He shouted at Luffy, who turned to face him with a quizzical expression.

"Eh? Why? Isn't Kai from Grand Line?" He asked. Zoro's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, Rika and Lena's eyes grew big, and Coby smacked his forehead with his palm.

_Thanks, captain._

"Yea, but I'm not _that_ great of a navigator, at least not here in the Blues. We really need someone who's good with maps and can read the weather," I began, "and we definitely can't take a rowboat all the way there. It wouldn't survive the currents." I finished, taking a seat at the table.

"You're from **Grand Line?** " Zoro asked, and I nodded.

"From Sabaody Archipelago." I extrapolated, and he gave a thoughtful hum. Rika put a finger to her lips.

"Is Grand Line that scary of a place?" She asked me curiously, and I sighed.

"Aah. It's a very dangerous place if you aren't prepared for it. It's called the Pirate Graveyard for a reason." I confirmed, and Coby shook. Lena looked concerned at the news.

"I heard from some patrons that anyone who enters the Grand Line never comes back alive." She said hesitantly. I shook my head in the negative.

"That's not entirely true. The Grand Line has two parts to it. The first section is called Paradise, because it's like heaven compared to the second section, which is called New World. The island I'm from, Sabaody, is right on the border between Paradise and the New World. Lots of pirates cross between the two, and some even come back to the Blues. If you have a good crew and are careful and lucky, it's really not that bad." I explained.

"But One Piece is somewhere there, so that's where we're going!" Luffy said with a determined smile, and Zoro leaned back with a grin.

"Well, I guess it can't be helped." He said. Coby leapt out of his seat in surprise.

"Not you too, Zoro!" He exclaimed. Zoro blinked at him.

"What's it matter to you? You're not going, are you?" He queried. Coby stiffened up.

"N-no, but I'm worried about you!" He stuttered, and I grinned.

_Such a sweet kid. Really, he's too good-hearted for the Marines._

"I haven't known Luffy for long, but we are friends!" Coby said, gaining steam before glancing at the rubberman. "Right?" He asked, faltering slightly. Luffy's grin was wide and bright.

"Yea! We'll always be friends!" He assured the pinkette, who returned his smile after a long moment.

"You know, I never had friends growing up. I always got picked on, no one ever stood up for me." Coby said, and I leaned forward in my chair, interested. "But more than that, I never tried to stand up for myself. But you guys taught me to live for my dream!"

"That's why we're heading for Grand Line." Luffy agreed. Zoro nodded. I was coming to several fast conclusions however.

_Small, underfed. Very, very frightened of pirates, people who look scary, and the thought of Grand Line or danger. Shows admiration for the Marines._

"You…" I began, and eyes swung in my direction. "You were a chore boy on a pirate ship, weren't you." I stated, lacing my fingers together in front of my mouth. Coby's eyes widened and his face paled. Zoro stared as if I had grown a third head, and for once, Luffy didn't laugh.

"H-how did you know?" Coby stuttered nervously. I closed my eyes and took a breath.

"Every time you've interacted with 'criminals', you've been frightened out of your mind, even when the supposed criminal was tied to a post with no way to regain either his balance or leverage." Zoro snorted. I ignored him. "When you found who I was, you backed away from me as if I was going to kill you on the spot. _Therefore_ , you've had extremely bad experiences with pirates in the past." I opened my eyes and glanced over the pinkette's frame. "You've got several bruises just underneath your collar and on your arms. You have a sailor's callouses on your hands from handling rope. Those, along with the first things I mentioned, tell me that you were likely conscripted against your will into a pirate crew. That would also explain why you respect Marines so much, even when the ones here on this island weren't really respectable at all." I rested my cheek on my right fist, and pointed at Coby with my left hand. "You said your dream is to become a Marine, right?"

A bird chirped into the silence that followed.

_Oi, oi. That wasn't really very hard._

Luffy broke the silence with a laugh. "That was really cool, Kai! I'm impressed!" He said with a grin. Coby swallowed, then nodded.

"I worked for a pirate named Alvida for two years. She was really, really awful." He admitted quietly. I leaned back in my chair and digested that information. Zoro slung an arm over the back of his chair and tilted his head in Coby's direction.

"Then you need to worry about yourself before you worry about us." He said sternly, and Coby blinked.

"Why?" He asked. Zoro leaned back in his chair.

"Even though it was just for two years, and you were a chore boy, you were still a small-time pirate. Don't underestimate the Navy's info-gathering skills, especially if they've got anyone like Kai working for them. If they find out that you were a pirate, you'll never get to join." He explained seriously, and I nodded. Coby began to look alarmed.

"That's…that's true." He whispered to himself.

The door to the diner creaked open, and my attention was drawn to what was behind it.

_Shit. The Marines._

"Excuse me." The lead marine said politely as he entered. Zoro casually placed a hand on his swords as I kicked back from the table slightly, pulling my hood over my head. Luffy did nothing more than look over at the marine, but Coby gasped and took a step backwards. The Marine in question took five measured steps into the room before falling into a parade rest, hands at the small of his back. A glance out the windows revealed townsfolk crowding at the windows to see what was going on.

"We were wondering, is it true that you are pirates?" the Marine asked, eyes hidden beneath his cap. Luffy grinned at him.

"Yep! I just found my first two crew members, so that makes us pirates now!" He said brightly. The Marine's posture didn't change.

"We appreciate that you saved our base and this town from the tyrant Morgan. However, now that we know you are pirates, we can't just stand by and do nothing." The Marine said, adjusting his cap before looking back up determinedly. "You will leave this town at once!" He said seriously, and I grinned.

_We just beat up their Lieutenant, who none of them dared to go against, but now they're ordering us around. They've got balls, at least._

"Out of gratitude, we won't contact Headquarters about your involvement." the Marine finished. The townsfolk started complaining to the Marines immediately, and I exchanged a look with Zoro and Luffy, who grinned and stood up.

"Yea, we need to get going anyway." My captain said, and turned to Lena. "Thanks for the food, lady!" He said gratefully, and stood, slinging a small sack of leftovers Lena had packed for us over one shoulder. I stood, hefting my sea bag with my good arm. Rika pouted up at us.

"You guys are leaving already?" she asked, sounding sad. Luffy readily smiled at her.

"Yeah." He said, and walked to the door. I reached down to ruffle her hair with a fond smile, and walked past Coby without saying a word to him.

"Aren't you with them?" The Marine's voice came from behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him pinning Coby with a suspicious glare. Luffy stopped walking, and turned to look at Coby. The pinkette looked down at the floor, and his fists clenched.

"I'm… I'm not with them!" He exclaimed loudly, and his voice shook.

_Good lad._

Luffy seemed to think so too, based on his grin. The Marine happened to see Luffy smile though, and stopped us.

"Is he telling the truth?" He asked my captain, indicating Coby with a toss of his head. Luffy stared for half a second before pointing right at Coby.

"Ah, this guy? Well I only know what he used to do. I can't remember where it was but he worked for this fat person named Al…"Luffy didn't get farther than that before Coby punched him right in the mouth.

"SHUT UP!" the pinkette yelled. Luffy grinned, and punched Coby right back. The whole thing degenerated into a one sided brawl, Luffy dominating Coby completely. I frowned slightly as Coby started staggering.

"STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU! I WON'T ALLOW ANY MORE FIGHTING IN THIS TOWN!" The Marine yelled furiously, and then Zoro was there, grabbing the back of Luffy's vest.

"Hey. You went overboard. Stop it." The swordsman told him calmly, pulling him off of the pinkette.

The Marine's face had turned a very interesting shade of red, I noted.

"I GET IT! HE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND! GET OUT OF HERE!" He shouted at us. Luffy dusted himself off, and out we walked.

"Didn't you want to arrest me?" Zoro said, taking a moment to taunt the marines with a smirk, and I swung my sea bag at him. He dodged easily, and placed a hand on his swords mock-angrily.

"Cut them some slack. It's not their fault we're stronger than them." I said casually, and he snorted a laugh.

The three of us were quiet until we were out of earshot of the marines, then Zoro turned to Luffy with an appraising look.

"Nice act, by the way. Even though he was a pirate, they'll let Coby join up now." He complimented Luffy, who grinned like a proud parent.

"Coby will get a lot stronger in the future." He said as we reached the dinghy. I sighed morosely as I stepped into the tiny boat.

"What's wrong?" Zoro asked, and I slumped, scratching the back of my neck.

"I'm not looking forward to sleeping in such cramped quarters." I said honestly, tucking my bag under one of the benches. Zoro glanced down at the dinghy, calculated distances and heights, and grimaced before turning to Luffy, who was untying the dinghy from the dock.

"Well it's time to go. Leaving without saying goodbye is the best way to go." The swordsman said quickly, mentally putting sleeping situations aside for the moment. Luffy laughed.

"That's true!" our captain said as we cast off.

Motion caught my eye from the dock, and I glanced over to see a panting Coby straighten up. "LUFFY!" He shouted, and the other two turned to look at him as well. Coby saluted sharply, back straight and proud. "THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!" He finished, and I grinned at the sight of the little pinkette's show of inner strength.

"I've never seen a marine salute a pirate." Zoro commented to me with a smirk. Luffy placed a hand on his hat.

"We'll meet again someday, Coby!" Luffy said with a huge smile. I leaned back as Zoro took the oars and began maneuvering us out of the bay.

"ALL MARINES, SALUTE!" The rest of the marines from the base had snuck up behind Coby, and were saluting right along with him. Luffy waved back at the marines as we finally began our journey, and started wriggling like a puppy.

"WE'RE OFF! GRAND LINE, HERE WE COME!" He yelled, and Zoro laughed. I relaxed, stretching out my legs as the sail lowered and we headed off on our grand adventure.

* * *

**The next morning**

* * *

I woke to the call of seagulls and someone's weight across the right side of my body.

_Right. Joined a crazy rubberman's pirate crew._

Peeling one eye open revealed a head of hair as dark and messy as my own curled into my side, arms and legs thrown across me like a blanket. I stared blankly at my cuddly captain before sighing and carefully sitting up.

Well. I tried to.

Luffy squeezed harder and harder until I fell back to my previous position with a groan. Zoro chuckled behind me, and I craned my neck until I was glaring at him upside-down.

"You aren't gonna help, are you." I deadpanned. His small grin upgraded to smug smirk. I narrowed my eyes at him before abruptly going back to relaxing and closing my eyes.

"Well that's fine. You can handle steering the ship and navigating all by yourself then, since I'm currently indisposed." I remarked, beginning to reach my left arm back to use as a pillow before a throb of pain reminded me I was injured. Zoro apparently leaned back against the tiller, or so I guessed. I couldn't think of any other reason for his boots to appear on either side of my head.

"Forgot about your stitches?" He asked. I shifted slightly to get more comfortable before answering.

"Yea. Been a long time since I've gotten shot." I replied shortly. He gave a low hum in response.

_Cue the awkward silence._

"You said you had someone you needed to kill." He said, as if he had linked that to my getting shot previously. I groaned, and tried to sit up again, actually managing it the second time around. Luffy curled up between me and the swordsman, still sleeping soundly. I pulled my hood back and ran a hand through my hair before replying.

"Yes."

I could practically _feel_ his eyebrow twitching upwards, and decided to ignore any other questions along that vein for the day.

 _Sorry. But if I don't kill him first, I'll never be able to fulfill my dream. And I can't tell anyone who I'm trying to kill_.

I dragged my sea bag out from underneath the bench and dug down for the food rations I'd kept squirreled away.

There was nothing there.

_What?_

"Zoro," I began slowly, "did you eat anything from my sea bag last night?"

"No." He frowned at me, and I reached for where Luffy had put the bag of leftovers.

It was empty too.

We both looked up at each other, then down at Luffy.

"Don't tell me…" I trailed off. Zoro's eyebrow twitched.

"Okay, I won't."

My face made itself acquainted with my hand as the realization set in.

"God _damn_ it Luffy."

* * *

**A few days after that**

* * *

"Ugh. I'm so hungry…" Luffy complained.

I opened one eye from my slouched position against the side of the boat, hood drawn far over my face, and glared at him. "And whose fault is that, for eating all of our food the first day out?" I accused dryly, stretching my legs out in front of me. Luffy lay flat on his back in the middle of the boat, and Zoro lounged next to the tiller, arms hanging off the side of the boat and fingers trailing in the water.

"It's funny how you have no navigational skill whatsoever." He said sarcastically, tilting his head to face me as he did so. I frowned at him.

"On Grand Line I'm decent. Here in the blues, it doesn't work the same way. There is literally a different magnetic pole for each island on Grand Line, so you need a special type of compass to navigate there. The one I've got doesn't work here." I defended.

"Yeah! I've always just wandered around too. You were the same way, hunting pirates and living off the rewards." Luffy pointed out, and I chuckled.

I had gotten my revenge for the first night eventually, and had gotten Luffy to cling to Zoro instead of myself for two nights in a row. Had there been more space on the dinghy, Zoro and I would have been sparring because of it, I was sure.

"I don't remember saying that I just wandered around." Zoro replied casually. "Besides, I was looking for someone, but I don't remember how to get back home. I had no choice but to start hunting pirates for a living. I had to get money somehow." He finished, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.

"Isn't that the same as being lost?" Luffy asked.

"Or just wandering around?" I chimed in cheekily.

"SHUT UP! You're the one who's lost!" Zoro snapped at us, a vein in his head pulsing. "Never heard of pirates who can't navigate. How are we going to get to Grand Line?" He grumbled caustically.

"Like I said, we're going to have to find a navigator." I said calmly, and Luffy nodded.

"And someone who knows how to cook, and someone who can sing…" the rubberman said, ticking off points on his fingers.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT?" Zoro yelled. It seemed to sap the strength from both of them though, because they both fell backwards with a sigh.

"Soooooo hungry…" They said at the same time.

I leaned against the side of the boat and let myself relax as the breeze swept over my face. It was relaxing, though I really would have preferred we actually have food and water. The first thing on my list of things to buy was a strongbox with around twelve different keys to be split between Zoro and myself to put our food in.

As I daydreamed about ways to protect our food stores from Luffy, Zoro made a small sound in the back of his throat.

"A bird…" He muttered. I opened my eyes, and looked up. It was a pretty large bird.

"Looks pretty tasty." Commented Luffy, and I chuckled slightly.

"You think everything looks tasty, captain." I said. Luffy sat up suddenly, a determined look on his face.

"I'm going to catch it!" He announced. Zoro fixed him with a stare.

"What? How are you going to eat it?" He queried, getting to the heart of the problem immediately.

_Can't cook it on a wooden boat, Luffy…._

Luffy ignored Zoro and stood up, stretching his arms up to grab the top of the sails. "I'll go get it! Watch my specialty!" He said, gracing us with a huge smile. My stomach abruptly dropped to my feet as I realized what he was going to do.

_"Wait a **minu…** "_

**"RUBBER ROCKET!"** Luffy yelled, and then he was airborne. Zoro sat up and shaded his eyes with his hand. My jaw had hit the bottom of the boat, and I was pretty certain my eyelid was twitching.

"I can't believe he thought of that…" Muttered Zoro. I composed myself.

"Zoro, Devil Fruit users _can't swim_. How is he going to get back **down?** " I asked, perfectly calm. The swordsman swung around to stare wide-eyed at me, and then Luffy screamed.

_The damn bird was trying to eat him._

"HEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" He yelled.

"YOU IDIOT!" Zoro lost it as he scrambled for the oars. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GO FLYING EVER AGAIN, CAPTAIN!" I screamed as I made my way to the prow of the boat to keep the bird in sight.

Honestly though? I was impressed with Zoro's stamina. For someone who had gone nine, _(excuse me, eight),_ days without food and water and had only a single meal before leaving town, he was doing _extremely_ well in that department.

" _ **KAI! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"**_

… _.Maybe not._

"There's no way in hell I could keep up with your crazy pace right now!" I called over my shoulder, shading my eyes with one hand to keep an eye on the bird.

"HEY! STOP THE BOAT! LET US ON!"

My attention was drawn away from the fleeing avian down to the water, where three figures were swimming towards us.

"Zoro! Man overboard, dead ahead!" I informed him, and he practically growled.

"WHAT? There are people over there too?" He made several angry sounds before finally yelling, "WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO STOP! GET ON BY YOURSELVES!" as he plowed through the water. The three people in question faltered at his declaration, and barely managed to grab onto the sides of the boat. I didn't bother helping them in, leaving them to get on themselves. They collapsed onto the deck in a wet puddle, and Zoro smirked.

"Your climbing skills aren't bad." He complimented them, and I laughed.

"Better than they're swimming ski…" I cut myself off as I felt steel against my neck.

"Hey." Came a voice from just behind me. "Stop the boat. This is Captain Buggy's territory."

I rolled my eyes and dropped a hand to my dagger.

"What." Zoro growled flatly.

_Zoro sounds…pissed._

 

* * *

 

"We're so sorry! We didn't realize you were Roronoa Zoro or 'Godhand' Kai!" The three of them said past their welts and bruises as two of them hurriedly rowed along.

Zoro had a mean punch when it came down to it, and none of the three were fast enough to actually touch me. They wouldn't be giving us problems anytime soon.

Zoro leaned back next to me as we sat opposite the three stooges, arms crossed and glaring daggers. "You idiots made me lose track of my friend. Row harder, put some back into it. If we can't find him, you three are in deep trouble." He snarled. The two manning the oars obliged us by rowing faster, and I settled in for a good interrogation.

"Why were you dumbasses even in the middle of the ocean in the first place?" I snapped, extricating myself from my jacket. One of the idiots had gotten seawater all over it, and I didn't want that anywhere near my injured shoulder.

"It was that girl! She tricked us!" The first idiot said.

"She acted sick and stole our boat and all our treasure!" The second idiot chimed in.

"And then she predicted a storm and sank our boat!" The third idiot mourned.

"It's terrible!" All three of them finished.

_Oi, oi, are you a comedy group or pirates?_

I groaned, but Zoro perked up. "Ho? She can predict the weather? That's an interesting skill." He said, and I caught on to what he was thinking.

_I wonder if she'd join us?_

"If I find her, I'm gonna kill her!" The idiot pirate trio were still chattering among themselves. "First we gotta get our treasure back or Buggy will be pissed…"

"Who's Buggy?" Zoro cut in, tilting his head at the unfamiliar name. The three pirates and I stared at him.

"Buggy the Clown? Ate a Devil Fruit? Bounty of 15 million beli? Ringing any bells, O Pirate Hunter?" I asked sarcastically. Zoro frowned at me.

"No," He said as I opened my mouth to berate him, "I don't pay attention to small fry."

I turned to stone.

_My pride…_

I didn't talk to him for the rest of the boat trip.


	3. Boodles and Poodles

We had finally reached land. The island was absolutely tiny, big enough for a small town and a few vegetable fields. Based on that, I assumed that most of their food came from fishing. The strange thing about that was the fact that the town was empty and silent. There were no ships at the docks, no boats on the waters around the town. The usual fish merchants and vendors that could be found at towns like this one were gone. The silence was unsettling. Which made sense, considering that Buggy was a loose cannon of a pirate with a penchant for literal cannons.

The idiot pirate trio carefully rowed us in and tied up our ship before turning to us with matching smiles and groveling postures. "We're here, Master Zoro, Master Kai." They said as one.

_From pirates to butlers in one second flat._

Zoro ignored them in favor of critically eyeing the town, coming to the same conclusion I had. "A ghost town?" He wondered aloud. I shook my head.

"Buggy must be raiding the town right now. I'm guessing the townspeople will be hiding until he leaves." I said, cracking my neck as I got out of the dinghy. Zoro set a casual hand on the swords at his hip as he joined me on the dock, and we exchanged a glance.

_Man, how troublesome._

"Man, Luffy is such a bother sometimes." I complained, and Zoro sighed in agreement.

"We better go talk to this Buggy guy. He might have some info on where Luffy is." He said, walking past me towards the main street. I turned to face the idiot trio, who were busy whispering to each other.

"You three!" I barked at them. They spun to attention, shaking like leaves, and Zoro's footsteps halted. I folded my arms across my chest and glared at the idiots. "You're going to take us to your captain." I ordered, and glared when they hesitated.

"You won't like what happens to you if you don't." Zoro piped up darkly from behind me, and the corner of my mouth twitched upwards. The trio's eyes watered.

"YES! PLEASE LET US TAKE YOU THERE!" They exclaimed as one, tears threatening to fall. I snorted.

_How utterly pathetic._

They marched past us, and I turned on my heel, falling even with Zoro behind them. "No funny business. If I see you so much as chatter amongst yourselves once, I'll kill you." I informed them carelessly, and one of them started to cry. Zoro made an amused sound in the back of his throat, and I grinned.

"So, Kai. Who is this Buggy?" The swordsman asked. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, then returned to surveying the town.

"He's a pirate who dresses like a clown." I said, eyeing a row of knocked down houses.

"Tch. A clown? Jeez." I nodded distractedly, calculating trajectories based on the disarray of the houses in question, and followed the path to the center of the town.

"Aah. He's got a huge red nose. More importantly, he's a Devil Fruit user, like I said." I replied, eyes coming to rest on what appeared to be a large bar that dominated the town square. It was easily tall enough to launch cannonballs from. Absentmindedly, I twisted a solid metal band on my thumb, the only piece of jewelry I ever wore.

"So he's like Luffy?" Zoro asked, and I dragged my eyes back over to him.

"Not quite. From what I can gather, Buggy can section his body into different parts. For instance, if you go to cut him with your swords, he'll simply pop apart where you intended to slice him." I answered, and the swordsman tucked a thumb into his haramaki with a frown.

"Irritating." He grunted. I shrugged and pointed at the bar in front of us.

"If my guess is right, he's holed up at the top of that bar." I said, and one of the pirates straightened in surprise.

"That's right! How did you know?" He asked, eyes wide. I sighed and Zoro laughed.

"You shouldn't underestimate Kai's observational skills." He said with a wide grin. The pirate eyed me warily before turning back towards the bar.

**BOOOOOOM!**

The row of houses on my right exploded into a shower of splinters and slivers of wood, and I snapped my arm up in front of my face to deflect any stray shards. When the dust settled, Zoro and I found ourselves staring at a line that marked where buildings had been.

"That was one of Captain Buggy's Buggy Balls!" one of the pirate trio exclaimed, and I blinked.

" _Buggy Balls?"_ Zoro confirmed with a slow, mocking smirk. I groaned at the mental image.

"Yea, it sounds like he's compensating to me too." I said, and Zoro snorted with amusement.

"Sooo… pretty good chance Luffy is up there with Buggy." I stated conversationally, glancing up at the bar. Zoro dragged a hand down his face as my gaze swung back to him, and followed me as I started running towards the building.

"Of course. Where else would he be other than in the middle of everything?" Zoro replied, sounding resigned.

_And where else would we be, other than dragging his ass out of the line of fire?_

I chuckled at the thought, and put on a burst of speed.

 

* * *

 

At any other time, I would have loved this bar. It was beautiful, solid dark wood polished to a shine, stocked with all my favorite alcohol. It even had a tiny kitchenette area for food preparation, and my stomach grumbled at the thought of fried fish.

"Upstairs." I grunted, shouldering the door open to let Zoro charge past, a sword in each hand. He paused just long enough to kick the rooftop door open, and then we were amidst the Buggy Pirate crew. I slowed for a fraction of a second to assess the situation.

_**Luffy:** _ _located, tied up in a cage._ _**Threat:** _ _Cannon facing him, partially lit fuse being smothered by a woman._ _**Pirates:** _ _Attacking woman._

"Zoro." I conveyed a wealth of meanings in that one word and he nodded, moving. I sped up, placing myself between the cannon and Luffy. I heard meaty thwacks behind me where Zoro was subduing the pirates attacking the woman. I leaned over, staring at my tied up captain, and sighed defeatedly.

"Hey now… How many of you are taking on a girl all at once?" Zoro asked, irritated, and I straightened up, turning to face him.

"Zoro! Kai!" Luffy exclaimed, and Zoro looked over his shoulder at us.

"You hurt?" He asked the girl. She blinked, looking surprised. Zoro's eyes narrowed. "Are you hurt?" He repeated calmly. That seemed to snap her out of her shock at last.

"N-no. I'm fine." She replied. I glanced around at the Buggy pirates and decided that Luffy could stay where he was for the moment, he'd get into less trouble.

"Whew, what a relief!" Luffy exclaimed as I walked over to stand next to the woman. "How did you two find us? Hurry and get me outta here!"Tthe rubberman simultaneously asked and demanded. Zoro sighed and turned to face him.

"You… Is this your idea of fun?" the swordsman asked as one eyebrow crawled up his forehead to perch near his hairline. A vein throbbed in his forehead, and he tapped one sword against his shoulder. "You get carried away by a bird, and when we finally find you, you're tied up and in a cage? Idiot!" He complained, and I chuckled.

"Did you think we wouldn't find you, Luffy?" I asked, shaking my head before turning to the woman with a smile. "Sorry about our idiot captain. He must have given you some grief. Are your hands alright?" I asked apologetically, and the woman nervously smiled.

"Aah, its fine! I'm fine." She said, and I raised an eyebrow at her before extending my hand to her. She blinked, looking between it and me.

"Let me see." I demanded, and she froze for a moment before allowing me to look at her palms. I eyed them critically for a moment before nodding. "It's not as bad as it looks. I can fix them up for you back at our boat. I'm no doctor, but I can treat burn wounds just fine." I judged, and dismissed the matter in favor of listening to the pirate chatter going on around us.

"Is that Roronoa Zoro? The Pirate Hunter?"

"Forget about him. That's 'Godhand' Kai!"

"Did they call that kid 'Captain'?"

I frowned, crossed my arms, and leaned back onto one leg. "You've certainly gotten inhospitable, Buggy." I drawled. Zoro shot me a look, and I gave him a minute shake of the head.

_I'll handle it. You figure out how to get Luffy out of here._

The swordsman gave me an slight nod, and began walking back towards Luffy's cage. Buggy sneered and stood, twirling a dagger in his hand. "Pirate Hunter Zoro and Godhand Kai. Come for my head, have you?" He asked, and I snorted as Zoro stopped walking.

"Nope. Couldn't care less about the price on your head, really." I said blandly, and watched Buggy's face twist. "We only showed up to see if you had any idea where our captain was. Turns out that you did. Can't say I approve of you trying to blow him up though." I finished, and the orange haired woman behind me backed up a few steps towards the cannon.

"Well, I care about the price on yours. If I kill you, my fame will rise." Buggy replied with a dangerous smile. I heard metal sing as Zoro unsheathed his swords.

"I wouldn't try it. You'll die." The swordsman promised. Buggy's pirates started laughing at us, cheering their captain on. Buggy slid into a fighting stance and leered.

"Is that so?" He mocked. I stared back at him impassively before replying.

"Just so. After all, you're just a coward who ran away from Grand Line when it got too much for you." I told him, expression carefully blank. "I'd pity you, but it wouldn't be worth it." I finished.

_It was all over the news in Loguetown when I first got here. At least, everyone in Marine HQ was talking about it._

"W-why….Y-you…!" Buggy shook with rage and spluttered into the silence my words had caused. I let a nasty grin spread across my face. "DIE!" Buggy screamed, and charged me, knife held high.

I spun, pulling my trench knife to block Buggy's before stepping into close quarters. His knife flew past my ear as I switched from a forward to reverse grip, socking the pirate captain solidly in the diaphragm. His other arm swung around to catch me in a bear grip, and I ducked low, dodging behind him. One more spin for momentum and a kick to the head and he was on the ground, out cold. I rolled my shoulder and sheathed my knife, stepping over him as I made my way back towards Luffy and Zoro.

Zoro's eyebrow was twitching at the quick takedown. "That guy is so weak!" Luffy laughed, and I grimaced.

"I can't believe he had a larger bounty than me." I muttered, casting an eye over the remaining pirates.

"Hey, Zoro, get me out of this thing!" Luffy yelled at the swordsman, who let out a long-suffering sigh and walked over to the cage. I leaned against the cannon and eyed the bars of the cage.

"This thing isn't going to open without a key. I can't cut through steel…" Zoro said as he examined the padlock on the cage. The Buggy pirates were beginning to chuckle, and my something's-wrong sense started tingling again.

"Oi, we can probably squeeze him out between the bars if we need to." I said, turning to face the peanut gallery that had upgraded from chuckling to laughing and jeering.

"KAI! LOOK OUT!" I had time to hear Zoro yell, and then my vision exploded into a million white specks as I toppled over onto my hands and knees, the side of my stomach throbbing and burning. "KAI!"

I gritted my teeth and looked down through the pain.

_A disembodied hand? Fuck. He wasn't knocked out._

I gripped the offending limb and yanked the knife out of my side, doubling again as my vision went yellow.

"BUGGY, YOU BASTARD!" Luffy yelled as Zoro hauled me upright and away from Buggy.

"Damnit!" I panted, hands clamped to my side. The swordsman growled ferally, and moved to stand between us and the Buggy pirates.

"Aaah! That hurt, you bastard!" Buggy yelled, laughing at my expression. "I didn't hit any vital spots, but that's still a pretty serious wound, Godhand! I win!" He cackled.

_Get up. Get up. You've been hit with worse and still survived. Get the fuck up!_

I levered myself into a standing position using the cage as support and took a few shaky breaths before pinning Buggy with a dark glare. "You win?" I coughed, and leaned back as much as I dared before tilting my head back defiantly. "I don't think so. I'm not dead."

"W-what is he?" the girl stammered, staring at Buggy. He grinned at her, causing her to take a few steps away from him.

"I ate the Chop Chop fruit. No matter what you do to me, it can't hurt me! I'm a sectioned man!" Buggy said, demonstrating his ability as several of his limbs popped off and hung in midair before sticking back onto his main body.

"What? I thought Devil Fruits were just a myth!" She exclaimed, edging behind Zoro.

_Definitely not a myth, woman._

"STABBING FROM BEHIND IS DIRTY, **YOU BIG NOSE!** " Luffy yelled angrily. The pirates fell silent, and Buggy shook with apoplectic fury.

" **WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BIG NOSE!"** He shrieked, sending a knife-wielding arm flying towards the rubberman. Zoro's swords sang as he deflected the weapon, but it swung around him, heading unerringly towards Luffy. I wasn't fast enough to stop it, even though I tried. To my surprise, however, the sound of shattering metal came from inside the cage.

"I swear… I'm gonna take you down." Luffy promised darkly. I sat down next to the cage, eyeing the broken dagger and my captain, who glanced at my wound, then at my face, and went back to glaring at Buggy.

_Did he just break a dagger with his teeth?_

"You three are going to take me down?" Buggy thought this was the funniest thing he'd heard all day, judging by his laughter. "How are you going to do that in this situation? I've already taken out your most dangerous fighter! You are all going to die right here." The clown laughed again and motioned to his crew, who began bearing down on us.

Luffy let out a laugh. "Zoro, Kai! Run away!" He yelled suddenly, and we both stared, trying to work out what he meant.

_He just said he wants to take this guy down, then tells us to run away? So…we aren't running, we're making a tactical retreat?_

"Hey! They came to rescue you and now you're telling them to run away?" The chick yelled at Luffy as Zoro grinned fiercely.

_Oh good. Someone else has a plan._

"Ok!" Zoro replied before shouldering the cannon that was pointed at Luffy's cage up and over its pivot to point straight at the charging pirate crew.

I whistled in appreciation. The Buggy pirates weren't as impressed as I was.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S POINTED AT US!"

"THAT THING STILL HAS A BUGGY SPECIAL IN IT!"

" _ **I need a light!"**_ Zoro barked at the orange haired girl, startling her out of her shock.

"Oh! Right. Here." She said, leaning over to light the fuse. I grinned as they raced back towards us, and stood with only a slight stumble.

"Now would be a _great_ time to leave." I observed, and frowned at the orange haired woman. "By the way. Who are you?" I asked bluntly as Zoro eyed the cage containing Luffy.

"I'm… I'm a thief." She said hesitantly. Luffy grinned and laughed while Zoro bent down to try to wrestle him out of the cage.

"She's our navigator!" He attempted to clarify, and I groaned, feeling another migraine coming on.

"I meant her name!" I snapped testily, and Zoro straightened up in defeat. The woman ignored me.

"If you have time to say stupid stuff like that, shouldn't you be worrying about how to get out of the cage?" She yelled at Luffy, who blinked as if a light had gone off somewhere in his brain.

_Yea right. I can but hope._

"You're right. I'll do that." The rubberman said, but Zoro smirked as a thought came to him.

"No… You just stay in there." He said, and I realized what he was about to do. The orange haired woman - _whose name I still didn't know_ \- didn't get it.

"What are you talking about?" She shrilled, apparently having lost her temper finally. I leaned away from her slightly and raised an eyebrow at the swordsman, ignoring her.

"You sure about that?" I asked Zoro caustically, and he grunted, lifting Luffy's cage onto one shoulder.

_That's… impressive._

"It's not like you're in any condition to help me out right now." He commented as Luffy began to worrywart about the blood seeping from my side.

"Tch. What are we gonna do if you get a hernia and collapse?" I complained, ignoring the captain in favor of following Zoro across the rooftop.

"A hernia? That's what you're worried about?" The swordsman shook his head at me. "It'll be fine." He assured me, dropping down onto a row of roofs a bit below our current level. I grimaced and followed him over, wincing as the stab wound throbbed painfully.

_This is really gonna suck._

 

* * *

 

We traveled a good distance away from the bar before I stumbled and almost missed my landing after jumping from one roof to another. Zoro glanced over his shoulder and sighed.

"Take a breather." He said, settling down out of sight from the bar and putting the cage down in front of him. I didn't so much sit as collapse next to him and stretched out flat, panting slightly. His eyes flickered to my bleeding side and he made a dissatisfied noise in the back of his throat. "Damn." He muttered, and rubbed a hand over his moss-green hair.

I groaned in response, and pushed myself into a sitting position. "It's not as bad as it looks." I said, reaching into one of my side pockets to pull out a roll of bandages.

"Need help?" Zoro asked, and I unclipped my canteen of water from my belt loop to give it an experimental shake. It still had water in it, but only just.

"Yea. Alcohol would be better to clean it with, but this is what I've got right now." I said, handing it to him. He nodded and carefully poured the water over the entry point of the wound, and swapped the canteen for the bandages as I cleaned the front. Luffy started chewing on the bars of the cage as we started wrapping my torso.

"If this cage would just open!" He whined. I rolled my eyes at him before tying off the bandage. Zoro drew one of his swords and began cutting through the ropes tying Luffy up.

"Your teeth are going to break, Captain." I told Luffy. The second his hands were free he started pulling on the bars of the cage as if brute strength would open them. Zoro sheathed his sword and crouched on the rooftop.

"We need to find a way to get down. If we stay up here for much longer, they'll be able to see us from their vantage point." He said. I groaned again, and set my foot against the cage in front of me, preparing to push. Luffy looked at me curiously.

"Hey what are you…" He started to say.

I pushed.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" Luffy yelled as his cage slid off the rooftop, down three stories, and hit the ground with a loud **clang** that was sure to draw attention if his screaming hadn't already.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Zoro snapped as I scooted to the edge of the roof. I blinked at him, then leaned over to grab a rain pipe that ran all the way to the ground.

"Getting down." I said blandly, and went over the side, using the pipe to slow my fall. I landed lightly and looked up at him as he leaned over the edge of the roof.

"Ok, so that wasn't a half bad idea…" He mumbled, following me down.

 

* * *

 

We were almost at the edge of town before we stopped again. Zoro had taken to dragging the cage the last few blocks with me staggering after him. I wasn't feeling worse, but when I had tried to help him move the cage, he had hit me in the stomach with one of his sheathed swords to better illustrate his point that I wasn't in _"any fucking condition to help, damnit."_

"You're slowing down again, shitty fighter." Zoro sniped as he came to a halt in front of a pet food store. I snarled impotently at him as he wiped sweat off his forehead.

"Well if you hadn't hit me we wouldn't be having this problem!" I fired back as I flopped down on the pavement. He snorted, turning his attention back to our captive captain.

"Man, this cage is annoying. There's gotta be a way to open it." He mused, and Luffy nodded, as serious as I'd ever seen him.

"Yea. If we can't get this open, when the bad guys come I can't join the fight!" The rubberman complained. I chuckled at his one-track mind and started trying to come up with ways to get the cage open. Luffy made a curious sort of sound, and I opened my eyes.

_When had I closed them?_

"Hey, it's a dog!" My captain said. I craned my neck backwards, and sure enough, there was a fluffy white dog staring Luffy down motionlessly. Luffy stared back for a long moment, then stretched an arm out to poke it.

"Hey, it's not moving." **Poke.** "Is it really a dog?" **Poke.** "Hey, Zoro, look at this dog." **Poke.**

"Luffy, stop poking the dog." I ordered blankly. He ignored me.

"…Whatever. You should be thinking about how to get out of there." Zoro said, tiredly sitting down next to me and smacking the cage with one hand to illustrate his point. Luffy ignored him too.

"I wonder if it's dead…" He wondered aloud while accidentally poking the dog in the eyes. It retaliated with a flying bite to the face, and then rubberman and dog were fighting. Zoro's eyes widened comically, and his eyebrow started twitching.

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW SERIOUS THE SITUATION IS?" He yelled angrily. I put an arm over my eyes in defeat.

_This is how it ends. Stuck in East blue, my new captain in a cage, with a swordsman who can't cut our enemy, and me bleeding because I needed to hold back._ _**Awesome.** _

"What are you three doing?" A voice asked, and I pulled my arm off my face to lay eyes on the orange haired girl from earlier. Her expression was a mixture of disbelief and resignation. "If you just lie in the middle of the street, Buggy will definitely find you." She said, her tone one of why-am-I-helping-these-idiots.

"Oh! Our navigator!" The three of us said in unison with matching smiles.

"SAYS WHO!? And my name is Nami, not navigator! _Na-mi!_ " She shrieked at us, and I laughed, sitting up. She took a moment to regain her composure, and smirked at us. "I just came to repay you because you saved my life back there." She stated, tossing a key at Luffy. It landed on the ground between him and Zoro, and they stared at it.

"The key! You stole the cage key!" Luffy exclaimed, and I saw a pleased expression flicker across her face for a moment. I grinned and leaned across Zoro to pick the key up, flipping it like I would a coin.

"Yea… even if I think it was a dumb thing to do. I couldn't steal any treasure because I was trying to find it." She complained, and I blinked.

_Doesn't want to be our Navigator, a thief, obsessed with stealing treasure…_

I gave her a once over and my brow furrowed.

_Not enough data yet._

I caught Zoro frowning at me out of the corner of my eye.

"Aaaahhhhh! I was gonna get a headache from thinking about how to escape!" Luffy exclaimed, and I snorted a laugh, wiping the confused look off my face.

"Well it's a good thing that doesn't happen often, captain." I said, levering myself into a standing position as Zoro leaned back against the stoop of the pet food store. I unlocked the cage and Luffy popped out of it like a demented Jack-in-the-box.

"I'M FREE!" He yelled, throwing his arms up in the air.

"HEY! What are you kids doing here? Don't you know this area is dangerous?!" The four of us turned around, coming face to face with an old man with poodle hair who was wearing pieces of a suit of armor and armed with a spear.

"Uh…Who are you?" Zoro asked cautiously. The man's eyes gleamed proudly behind coke-bottle glasses.

"I'm this town's mayor, Boodle!" The man said, and I planted my face into my hand as a song rose unbidden in my mind.

_~Boodle, his name's Boodle, with hair like a Poodle~_ _**SHUT UP, SUBCONSCIOUS!** _

"Hey old man, what's with this dog?" Luffy asked, pointing at the fluffy dog that he'd gotten into a fight with. The mayor blinked at the non sequitur but took it in stride.

"That's Shushu." He said, as if that explained everything. "You kids should go back to the shelter though, it's not safe here." Luffy's head tilted to one side and Nami sweatdropped.

"Er, well, you see, we're not from here." She said, visibly trying to figure out how to explain the situation.

"Oh?" Boodle asked. I sighed and sat on the porch in the shade.

"No, we're not. The swordsman and I came here to find our captain." I said, pointing at Luffy. "By the time we arrives though, he'd already been caught. So we had to rescue him from Buggy." I explained, resting my head against the wall.

"That sounds like quite the story!" The mayor laughed and sat on the porch beside me. Luffy nodded excitedly.

"Yea! Buggy had me tied up and in this cage. He was gonna shoot me with his cannon! But then Nami put the fuse out, and Zoro and Kai showed up. Buggy tried to kill Kai but we got away!" The rubberman said. The mayor's head rocked back, and he turned to look at Zoro.

"Buggy tried to kill you?" He asked, and Zoro exploded.

"I'M ZORO! HE'S KAI!" The swordsman snapped, pointing at me angrily. I waved him off with a laugh as the mayor looked me over.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just need to catch my breath, is all." I said. The little white dog, which had been sniffing my boots, decided to start barking at me. I blinked at it. "So, your name is Shushu?" I asked it. It growled.

_Well I won't be talking to animals anytime soon._

"He's guarding this store." The mayor explained, reaching out to scratch behind the dog's ears before standing. "I just came to give him some food." He finished, fetching a food bowl and putting some canned food into the dish. The dog began chowing down eagerly. Luffy plopped down in front of the dog and looked up at the store as the mayor sat back down and got out his pipe.

"He's guarding it?" Luffy asked. The mayor lit his pipe and took a drag.

"Yes. You see, I knew the owner of this place. He opened the store ten years ago with Shushu." The mayor exhaled a cloud of pale, fragrant smoke. "It's special to me, of course, but for Shushu, it's a place filled with precious memories." He said with a fond, distant smile. Zoro crouched down and examined the dog before nodding.

"Aaah. I see it." He pointed to several cuts and bloody gashes in the dog's side. "These are fresh, probably from getting into fights with pirates to defend the store." Nami frowned and crossed her arms.

"No matter how precious it is, why is the dog guarding the store from pirates? The store's owner is at the shelter with the other townspeople, right?" She asked. Boodle shook his head sadly.

"No. That guy…He died because of an illness." He sighed. "He was hospitalized three months ago, and then…" His voice trailed off. It didn't need to be said what happened after that.

"So… He's waiting for his owner to return?" Nami asked softly. Boodle smiled a bit and took another puff.

"That's what everyone thinks, but I see it a bit differently. Shushu's a smart dog. He knows his owner is gone." He said, and Nami frowned again, still not getting it.

"Then why guard the store?" She asked.

"Obviously, this store is a treasure to Shushu." Boodle explained patiently, as if speaking to a child. "Since this is the only thing he has left of his beloved owner, of course he'll continue to guard it." He shook his head and breathed out another plume of smoke. "It's a painful thing to see. I've tried to take him to the shelter a few times, but he won't leave this store." He grunted and stood, patting Shushu on the head. "If I just left him here, I think that he'd stay until he starved." Nami smiled.

_Huh. That's what it looks like when she smiles honestly._

**RRRRRRRRRROOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

Nami and Boodle jumped a foot in the air in surprise, and Zoro took a step back, hands on his swords. Luffy blinked.

"Wh… What was that? What was that noise?" Nami looked terrified, but Boodle…

_That much shock can't be good for a man his age._

"You're going to have a heart attack, old man." I said, raising an eyebrow. He ignored me.

"THAT'S BEAST TRAINER MOHJI!" He screamed. I blinked.

"Beast Trainer Mohji…?" I echoed, confused. Boodle and Nami were already gone though, dust kicking up behind them as they ran away. Luffy put his fists on his hips with a laugh.

"I'm glad I got out before the bad guys got here! Kai, you rest!" He ordered, and I grinned.

"Aye aye, captain." I replied.

 

* * *

 

"So that's where you three went." I craned my neck to look at the person who had just come around the corner, and stared. It was a man wearing a fur vest and what looked like a fur hat with bear ears coming out of the top of it.

_I guess he's trying to match the lion?_

Because he was riding a lion, a very large one.

_Not big enough to be from Little Garden but… Flosah, maybe? It's supposed to have larger-than average animals but not giant ones._

But the man was talking again. "I am Beast Trainer Mohji, of the Buggy Pirates." Mohji laughed down at us. "So it's just the three of you? The thief ran away?" We didn't reply, and he frowned at us. "Captain Buggy is pretty pissed at you guys, you know." He said mock-pityingly. Luffy's eyebrows drew together slightly.

"What the hell are you supposed to be? Why are you wearing a weird fur hat?" He asked gormlessly, and I snickered at the expression on the Buggy Pirate's face.

"THIS IS MY HAIR!" He shouted, and Zoro's expression went carefully blank.

"That's just makes it even weirder." He deadpanned.

I lost it.

_Oh…oh man don't make me laugh, that hurts._

"SHUDDUP!" Mohji shrieked at me, then did a double take. "Ah, there you are, Godhand." He said conversationally before looking at Luffy and Zoro. "If you two let me take him, I'll let you live." He said, expression dark. Luffy actually glared, the first time I'd see him do so.

"You aren't taking Kai." He stated. That one statement honestly took my breath away.

_He's that serious because someone threatened me? He barely knows anything about me._

Mohji stared down at the two for a moment before glaring. "Kill them, Richie." He ordered, and the lion swatted Luffy with a roar. I expected him to dodge…

…but he didn't.

**BOOOOOOM!**

Luffy collided with Zoro, and the two of them flew backwards across the road, through a house, and then through another one before stopping.

I groaned.

_Oi, oi, what did I say about flying?_

A shadow loomed over me, and I looked up into the jaws of the lion. "Time to take your head." Mohji said gleefully. His lion, Richie, had other ideas though, stepping closer to the door of the pet food store. Shushu started barking.

"What, you're hungry?" Mohji asked Richie, who whined. The beast tamer gave a resigned sigh. "Well fine. Hurry up though."

I stood shakily, leaning against the store. Shushu attacked, barking and biting, and got swatted away for his troubles.

_Do I, or don't I._

"The hell is this dog doing?" Mohji snapped as Shushu attacked and was again batted away with ease.

_Do I take the ring off or don't I?_

"Is he trying to guard Godhand?" Another attack, another vicious swat. I twisted the seastone ring on my left thumb, thinking.

_**Pros:** _ _Not feeling weak and sick, beat this idiot._ _**Cons:** _ _possibly revealing my Devil Fruit powers and attracting attention I can't afford._

**"Die, Godhand."**

I leaned ( _read: stumbled_ ) backwards, but wasn't fast enough. Claws raked through the air, snagging and ripping the front of my shirt, exposing my bandaged chest and torso. I caught my balance and Mohji stared at the two scars that stretched individually from shoulder to opposite hip in an X shape.

_Annnnd decision made._

I twisted the seastone ring off my thumb and stuffed it into my pocket, instantly feeling lighter on my feet and more awake. I plucked at my now completely ruined top and frowned.

_I've got the bandages, but still…_

"That was my favorite shirt." I growled. Mohji gulped audibly.

"How did you dodge that? No one's ever dodged Richie before!" He asked incredulously. I stared before tilting my head back to laugh.

"There's always someone better than you." I finished, and gave him a fierce grin that was all teeth.

_And it doesn't hurt that I am literally made of air. I can feel the currents you create as you swing, I measure the rate of your breathing._

Mohji's eyes narrowed. "It doesn't matter. This time, I'll really kill you!" And with that, he attacked.

_**Idiot.** _

I dodged to one side again, grabbed the lion's paw, spun, twisted – _ignore_ _ **ignore**_ _ **ignore**_ _the pain -_ and _threw_. He arced beautifully over the houses towards the docks, and slammed into the pier before slipping into the ocean.

Mohji ignored me in favor of watching his pet go flying, so I punched him in the jaw.

I dropped his unconscious ass in the street and twisted my ring back on, grimacing at the sudden energy drain. I walked back over to the store, carefully patting Shushu on the head, and took my seat on the porch again as my waist throbbed painfully.

"You did good." I complimented, and closed my eyes for a little nap.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, kid, you okay?"

I opened my eyes and forced them to focus, instantly wishing I hadn't. Mayor Boodle's face two inches away from my own was not how I wanted to wake up.

"GAAH!" I eloquently asked him to please leave my personal space and never get that close to me again. He scuttled backwards and I placed a hand on my chest, trying to catch my breath. "Maaaan you scared me. Yea, I'm fine. Everything's good." I said after my heart had stopped racing. Nami put her hands on her hips.

"What happened to Mohji? We saw his lion go flying." She asked my chest. I ignored the urge to pull my shirt closed, and instead pointed behind her at the unconscious pirate.

"Him? I tossed his lion out of town and then knocked him out." I said, leaning back against the wall with a causal air that I didn't really feel. Their jaws fell.

"THAT WAS YOU?" They shouted as one, and I blinked at them.

"I'm stronger than I look?" I offered cautiously, and Nami facepalmed.

"Why did you fight them? You could have just run!" Boodle exclaimed. Shushu put his head on my lap and I scratched his ears gently while frowning at the Mayor.

"Mohji said something about getting food from the store, and Shushu attacked them. Didn't have a chance, but he still tried. He got beat up, so I beat them up." I said simply. Nami stared in disbelief.

"KAAAAAAIIIIII!" Luffy bellowed as he raced up, Zoro hot on his heels. They slid to a stop in front of us looking worse for wear.

"Sorry, Captain. I didn't rest like you told me to." I said as their eyes tracked over my torso. It was…strangely uncomfortable, and made me want to fidget. I didn't.

"Oi, oi. You've been injured the whole time?" Zoro asked, eyebrow raising at the sight of my chest bandages.

… _No._

"…Yes?" My mouth answered.

"…Idiot." He gritted, hand rising to massage his forehead.

"I might have some spare shirts that would fit you at my house. You could change your bandages as well." Boodle offered, and I grinned.

"I think I'll take you up on that."

 

* * *

 

_I wish I hadn't taken him up on that._

My eye twitched as I stood shirtless in the Mayor's bathroom. The Shirt he decided to lend me was, in a word, hideous. It was a garishly bright, neon blue with orange tropical flowers printed all over it. I sighed and got to work unwrapping my bandages and replacing them. I cleaned off my stab wound properly, packed a few squares of gauze on it, and bandaged it back up before turning back to The Shirt.

I sighed.

_Beggars can't be choosers._

I had almost finished buttoning it when the upper half of the house exploded.

_What the fuck?_

I ducked, rolling out of the bathroom as wood rained down, and managed to wedge myself between a beam and what was left of one of the inner walls.

"KAI!" I couldn't tell who was shouting due to the ringing in my ears, and shouldered the beam out of the way once the dust had cleared a bit.

"I'm fine!" I called back, and coughed to dislodge the dirt in my throat as I walked towards the group.

"And just how did you survive that…?" Nami asked, eyeing me up and down.

_I can't decipher her expression._

I glanced down at the shirt I was wearing, then back at her. "Is it The Shirt?" I asked, and Zoro broke into laugher at the faces she made at me.

The mayor suddenly doubled over with a hand on his heart and I frowned, concerned.

_I warned you about having heart attacks!_

"This doesn't feel right…" He said, voice shaking. My eyes widened and I took a step forward.

_I knew it!_

"I can't let pirates trample all over this town again!" He finished passionately, and I halted.

_Oh. It's his pride that was injured. That's… a relief?_

"This stupid pirate who came out of nowhere has no right to trample on this town we built!" Boodle exclaimed, exuding metaphorical flames of manliness. "I AM THE MAYOR! I WON'T LET THE TOWN BE TREATED LIKE THIS!" He shouted, and I sighed.

"…He's going to do something stupid, isn't he." I muttered to myself.

"I'M GOING TO FIGHT!" The old man yelled, and started marching off towards Buggy's base.

"Called it." I groaned. Nami tried valiantly to hold Boodle back, but he wouldn't be dissuaded.

"Those people are dangerous! Why are you being so reckless?" She cried in frustration.

The mayor turned to face us, righteous indignation causing him to tremble. There was moisture gathering in his eyes that would have been crying if he wasn't so manly.

"I KNOW IT'S RECKLESS!" He shouted, and ran off. "JUST YOU WAIT, BUGGY THE CLOWN!" His battle cry floated behind him as he made tracks. Nami stared after him.

"He… He was crying." She said softly. I exchanged a knowing glance with Luffy and Zoro. Luffy smiled and pulled his hat down over his eyes.

"Oh really? I didn't see anything." He stated, sure of himself. Zoro grinned.

"This is getting pretty fun." The swordsman agreed, and Nami glared at him.

"How can you be laughing about this?" She questioned heatedly. 

"Don't worry. I won't let that guy die." Luffy said, looking determined. Nami sagged.

"Where the hell do you get that crazy confidence?" She asked, sounding defeated. Luffy ignored her question in favor of giving her a happy-go-lucky smile.

"We're going to Grand Line. And now we're going to go take that map back." He said, holding a hand out to her.

_Map?_

"Will you join us? You need the map too after all…" He cajoled her sweetly. She stared at him for a long moment, before slapping his hand away.

"I'm not going to become a pirate." She stated seriously. "But instead of being partners, we'll co-operate. We'll help each other achieve our goals." She said, and my eyes narrowed slightly as I added one more thing to the List of Things About Nami.

_Hates pirates, but is willing to co-operate with them for her goals. What are her goals?_

Luffy grinned at her, and she hesitantly smiled back. As he turned away to follow Boodle, she glanced me over critically.

"You're coming too? What about your injury?" She asked curiously. I grinned at her as Zoro tied his black headband around his head.

"I'll be fine, I've had much worse." I replied, and watched her eyes shutter as she remembered seeing the X shaped scar on my torso.

"I see." She murmured. Zoro cracked his neck and smirked.

"That shirt is a worse injury than the stab wound. I think I might go blind." He snarked, earning a glare from me.

"Let's go!" Luffy butted in from ahead of us.

"Aye aye, Captain." The two of us said in unison, and followed after him.


	4. The Lamest Circus

Our trek back to the bar was a quiet one. After listening to Zoro and I snipe at each other about our respective senses of fashion ("The Shirt is not my fault, damnit!" "Your fault or not, it suits you." "Whyyyy youuu!"), Nami had given up pestering me about my injury and resigned herself to the fact that I wasn't staying behind.

_Seems she's learning._

"I'm going on ahead!" Luffy exclaimed, and shot off like a rocket.

_Not again!_

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT FLYING?!" I shrieked and took off running, leaving the others in the dust. Thankfully it was a straight shot, and I was able to catch up with the idiot quickly. I slid to a stop in time to see my captain separate Buggy's disembodied hand from the mayor's neck. Luffy grinned up at the clown as he threw the hand away and the old man dropped to the ground with a clatter of metal. The hand floated back up towards the clown captain as he stared down at us.

"I kept my promise! I'm here to beat you!" Luffy called up to him, and I leaned my hands on my knees in order to catch my breath.

"So you've come back of your own free will, without fear? YOU'RE ALL SO DEAD!" Buggy yelled back down at him.

"Aah." I panted, and waved my hand at the Mayor vaguely. "Good job… Captain…" I said between gulps of air, and straightened as Zoro and Nami ran up behind us. Nami took a moment to compose herself before planting a hand on her hip and shaking a finger at us.

"Listen. I don't care if you guys fight or not, I'm just here for the map and the treasure." She admonished seriously. Zoro rolled his eyes and smirked at her, tapping one of his sheathed swords against his shoulder.

_When did he find time to put his headband on?_

"I know." He said with a chuckle. I grinned and walked up next to Luffy, extending a hand to the mayor. Boodle glared and batted my hand away, stumbling to his feet.

"Why did you come back here? Stay out of this! This is my fight!" He exclaimed, and I glanced over my shoulder at Zoro, who responded with a shrug.

_Yea, I don't get why he thinks he's fighting alone either._

"I'M THE ONE WHO WILL PROTECT THIS TOWN! DON'T INTERFERE!" Boodle shouted. I leaned away from Luffy's fist as it plowed through the air on a collision course with the mayor's head. Boodle collapsed into a boneless heap, out for the count.

"WHAT?" Nami shrieked. "YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" She asked while storming up to Luffy.

"He would have gotten in the way." I said as I fixed her with a bored look, and Zoro gave our captain an approving nod.

"Smart. If we had left him alone, he would have charged straight in. He's safer this way." He commented, and I smiled as Nami started bemoaning the fact that she'd teamed up with us. Luffy grinned briefly before glaring up at Buggy.

"HEY! YOU! WITH THE HUGE RED UGLY NOSE!" He yelled.

Silence reigned for a moment. Then Nami began screaming, Zoro's eyes bugged out, Buggy's pirates started running away from their captain, and I started laughing uproariously.

"HOW CAN YOU BE LAUGHING AT A TIME LIKE THIS?" Nami shrilled at me, which made me laugh harder.

"FIRE THE BUGGY SPECIAL CANNONBALL!" Buggy screamed, and within moments, a cannon was placed, loaded, and aimed at Luffy. Nami dived out of the way while questioning Luffy's sanity, and Zoro tried to pull our captain out of the line of fire.

"Dodge it, Luffy!" the swordsman yelled, but the rubberman stood his ground.

"You think I'll move because of a cannonball?" He laughed, and inhaled. And inhaled some more. And a bit more after that.

His torso swelled up like a balloon and he grinned. **"RUBBER BALLOON!"** He shouted, bouncing the cannonball off of stomach back towards the pirates. They screamed, scattering as the cannon exploded against the bar and the building collapsed. I whistled my appreciation while Zoro planted his face into his hand.

"Coulda said something sooner…" He groused at Luffy, and I chuckled, shoving him lightly with my shoulder.

"It was obvious he had a plan." I beamed at him, and his hand dropped from his face as he pinned me with a glare. My smile got brighter.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" He glowered, and I laughed. Luffy clapped a hand on his hat and smiled at us.

"Hey! There's less of them now. Shall we start?" He asked excitedly, and Zoro turned to face the now-ruined bar with a sigh.

_All that booze, gone. It's so sad._

"Well, so much for them blowing _us_ up…" He muttered. Nami's jaw had unhinged at some point, her eyes wide as she glanced between the three of us before focusing in on me.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE?" She shouted, and socked me in chest.

"Ow." I mumbled, rubbing it.

_It's days like today that I'm glad to be flat as a board._

"I don't understand this at all!" She wailed, and jabbed a finger in my face. "You! You got stabbed in the stomach and then fling a lion halfway across town and act like you're fine!" I carefully nudged the questing digit away from my eyes and regarded her warily.

"Isn't that normal?" I asked, deeply satisfied with the way her face twisted, as if unsure whether to cry or punch something.

"And you!" She gave up on me and turned her attention to Luffy, who gave her a blank look. "You got smashed through two houses earlier! And how the hell did you swell up like that?" She demanded.

Luffy crossed his arms over his chest confidently. "Rubber Balloon!" He stated, as if that explained everything.

"I wasn't asking you for the name…."Nami groaned, and Zoro leaned over towards me.

"Wanna bet that she'll be just as crazy as the rest of us after a week?" He asked. I crossed my arms and watched her fuss at Luffy for a few moments.

"No bet." I replied, and he huffed.

Something from within the broken beams of the building shifted, and we all turned to eye it. Through the rising dust a few shapes could be made out as whoever was still standing got closer.

"You all chatting there like you aren't scared…" I recognized the voice as Buggy's but didn't recognize his profile. When he stepped out of the smoke, the reason why became suddenly clear. The Clown Captain was holding two of his crew members in front of him, and a thin man at his side was holding up the lion I'd beaten earlier.

_They're using their crew as shields? I can't say it's not pragmatic but… I don't like it._

I glanced at my own crew members. Zoro's expression was hard and cold, and Luffy looked equally unforgiving.

_I'll never use them as shields._

A board moved behind the two, and Mohji stood up from the wreckage, holding his head with one hand. "Damnit, I got knocked…out…" His gaze swept the area. "What the hell is this?" He coughed, sounding confused.

The thin man holding the lion glanced over at him without a single shift in expression. "Mohji. You're still alive." He said lightly. The beast tamer's eyes narrowed as he realized that his pet had been used to block the explosion.

"Cabaji!" He growled, low and angry. "What did you do to Richie?" He demanded.

"Oh, this kitten?" Cabaji said with a snort. He threw the lion at Mohji, and the two went down. Mohji let out a strangled sound as he was pinned underneath his unconscious cat. "I was worried my clothes might get dirty, so I used him for a shield." Cabaji said.

"You…bastard…" Mohji managed to get out before he fell unconscious. The thin man turned back towards us and took a step forward.

"Captain. Please leave this to me." He said, drawing his sword. Buggy nodded and grinned.

"Go ahead! Show off your acrobatics!" He said magnanimously. The thin man grinned and leaped high into the air. I shielded my eyes from the sun in time to see him produce a unicycle from…somewhere…that he began pedaling towards us upon landing.

"I am Cabaji the Acrobat! I'll avenge the pain you've caused my crew!" He exclaimed. Zoro tensed at my side as I watched the circus act head in our direction.

"Didn't you cause pain to your own crew?" I wondered aloud, and the acrobat swung. Metal clashed as Zoro stepped in front of me, his sword blocking Cabaji's.

"If it's swords, I'm _all for it_." He said, unsheathing his white sword with his free hand and placing it in his mouth. The acrobat smirked.

"It is an honor, Roronoa Zoro. To think that I would get to face you as a fellow swordsman and kill you." The thin man intoned, his voice smooth and confident. I backed up to give them space, and Zoro laughed fiercely around the hilt of his katana.

"You won't kill me." He said, and Cabaji snorted.

"Fire Trick." The acrobat spat, and a spurt of fire came out of his mouth a second later. Zoro dodged, leaving one side open, and Cabaji took the opportunity to sweep around for a kick. Our swordsman batted the limb aside with ease, and the two began circling each other like alley cats. Cabaji eyed Zoro for a moment before slamming his sword into the ground, and spun it in a circle, kicking up a cloud of dust. "Murder Mist!" He said, disappearing into the 'mist'.

"Some mist." Muttered Zoro, sounding vaguely disappointed. Cabaji re-emerged from the cloud with a downward slash that Zoro easily blocked with a single sword. Our swordsman smirked. "Is that all you've got?" He mocked callously and slashed at the acrobat, who dodged and threw spinning tops at his opponent. Zoro cut the projectiles with a bored air. Meanwhile, Cabaji cycled straight up the side of one of the buildings and vaulted off the top.

"CABAJI! I'll hold him down, you finish him off!" Buggy yelled, and my hand dropped to my knife as my eyes flew to the clown's hands shooting for Zoro's ankles. Our swordsman cursed angrily, but Luffy interceded. His foot slammed down on the free-floating hands, and he smiled dangerously.

"Don't interfere with Zoro's fight." He ordered, and Zoro grinned his thanks.

"Even without the captain's help, killing you will be easy!" Cabaji yelled, slamming into the ground where Zoro had been mere seconds before. I raised an eyebrow before crossing my arms testily.

"Looks like you're losing to me." I muttered to myself as Zoro leg flashed out, knocking Cabaji off his unicycle with a grunt of irritation.

"I'm tired of being the opponent of someone whose skills are so pathetic." He stated coldly. Cabaji's face twisted as he sprang to his feet and rushed Zoro.

_This guy…is a massive idiot._

"I'll finish you off with my real skill then!" The acrobat shouted. Zoro ignored him and slid into an unfamiliar stance with calm grace.

"Oni…" He began, taking a breath as Cabaji ran into his strike zone, "…GIRI!" He grunted, striking with all three of his swords. Cabaji stood still for a moment before shaking and spurting blood from multiple wounds.

"Damnit… At the hands of a common thief…" The acrobat collapsed, and Zoro pulled his bandana off and frowned.

"Not a common thief… But a pirate!" He corrected, and took a seat against the wall next to where I was standing. "Hey Luffy. I'm going to sleep now." He called out, propping his swords against his shoulder. Luffy nodded.

"Yea... get some sleep. I'll finish this off." My captain said, and I shrugged before taking a seat as well, settling in to watch the show.

Buggy had jerked backwards in surprise, and was eyeing us. "You guys are pirates?" He asked, and I snorted softly.

"Weren't expecting that, were ya big nose." I mocked under my breath, and Zoro chuffed softly. I cast an eye around for Nami, but didn't see her anywhere.

_Probably robbing these idiots blind._

"Give us the map to Grand Line!" Luffy demanded, and I massaged the bridge of my nose.

"He's not going to hand it over just because you asked for it, captain." I called out, and Buggy began nodding his agreement.

"Exactly! Grand Line isn't a place that nameless pirates can just wander into! What are you gonna do there, have a sightseeing tour?" He asked with a cackle.

_A sightseeing tour? Why do that when we've got the whole circus right here?_

Luffy frowned at him before planting his fists onto his hips. "I'm gonna be the Pirate King." He stated firmly, and I couldn't help but laugh at Buggy's comical expression.

"Don't joke around!" He shouted, suddenly looming taller than before. "You, become the Pirate King?" He snorted. "If that's true then I'm GOD! The person who'll get his hands on all the world's treasure is ME!" He yelled. I rolled my eyes.

_How are you gonna do that from East Blue when you don't have the balls to go to Grand Line, despite having a map for it?_

Luffy planted his feet and cocked a fist in preparation for a fight. "Shut up! Quit lecturing and start fighting! You're being too loud!" He said, and grinned. The corner of my mouth kicked up into a faint smile.

"Watch your mouth, brat!" Buggy snapped. His calculating gaze roved over my captain until landing on his ever-present straw hat. During our time directionless time on the dinghy that hat had flown off of Luffy's head a few times, and he'd almost gone for a swim once trying to get it back. Zoro and I had become very adroit at helping corral it.

_Which reminds me, I need to add a string to it so it won't fly off his head so much._

"That hat… it reminds me of this stupid red-haired guy I knew a long time ago." Buggy said, and I pulled out of my musing in time to see Luffy frown.

"Red Haired? You know Shanks?" Luffy asked, expression sharpening and I lifted my eyebrow.

_I'm more curious about how you know one of the Yonko, captain._

Buggy tilted his head at Luffy's reaction. "Hm? Looks like you're interested." He said, and a flicker of disgust crossed his features. "Yes, I know Shanks. Why do you want to know?" He asked, and I added the oddity to my mental Buggy List.

Luffy stared him down, ignoring the Clown Captain's question. "Where is he now?"

Buggy smirked and placed a hand on his chin in a dramatic fashion. "Well, let's see. If I know, then I know. But if I don't know, then I don't have any idea at all…"

"What are you talking about? Are you an idiot?" Luffy asked bluntly, unknowingly mirroring my own thoughts.

"YOU'RE THE IDIOT!" Buggy shrilled, and took a deep breath to calm down. "I'm saying that I'm not nice enough to just tell you that kind of information, not even if it was your dying wish." He said, and brought his arms up in front of him. Between each finger, a large sharp knife was brandished. Luffy beamed and pumped his arm.

"Then I'll beat it out of you!" He said happily.

_Go for it. Big nose talks too much._

Buggy sneered. He stomped his heels against the ground and long, nasty looking knives shot out of soles just underneath his toes. "You'll be dead before you can think about it, kid. You might be able to balloon like rubber, but knives will still affect you." He said, and I blinked, impressed despite myself.

_He's not half bad at that. Recognizing that Luffy's expansion was because of a devil fruit, making a comparison to how rubber expands and contracts, looking for old wounds like that scar under his eye that's clearly from a knife. Heh. Not too shabby._

"Yup! That's right!" Luffy nodded his agreement to Buggy's assessment of his abilities and their weaknesses.

Buggy's lower half separated and spun towards Luffy, knives glinting as they caught the light. My captain jumped over them, and Buggy grinned, lifting his hands, which shot off his body. "Moving wherever you want in the air is impossible!" He yelled, and my eyes narrowed.

_Wrong. It's not impossible._

My fingers twisted around my ring as Luffy's arm stretched out to grab a pole by the side of one of the buildings, and I relaxed. His arm contracted, dragging him away from the knives flying through the air towards him. Buggy grinned. "So you can move like that too? How interesting?" The clown complimented honestly, and Luffy responded with a grin of his own and a flying punch.

"You're an interesting person too!" He replied, watching Buggy dodge to one side as the overstretched arm sailed past. Buggy examined the arm in question.

"That's a nice ability! But…" One of his hands had swung back around, and he swung downwards at the limb with it. "An arm stretched to its limit is full of openings!" He yelled victoriously, not noticing said arm grabbing a pole behind him. Luffy shot forward and clotheslined Buggy, or would have if his head hadn't popped off just as my captain would have connected. Luffy flew past the clown and careened into a building, and Buggy laughed again.

"You aren't much of a threat, rubberman!" He taunted. Luffy emerged from his landing spot with a scowl.

"You're annoying. Separating into section after section…" He complained. Buggy smirked and shot his whole forearm at Luffy, knives and all. Luffy caught it with both hands at the center of the arm, halting it mere inches from his face. The wrist separated, and Luffy ducked just as the knives passed through where his head had been, clipping the edge of his straw hat instead. My captain transformed from easy going and fun loving to fucking furious in the blink of an eye.

"You… bastard…" He ground out, and pinned Buggy with a fearsome stare. "How DARE you mess up this hat?" He snarled.

_**Mental Note:** _ _Upgrade stringing hat to top priority._

"What." Buggy said flatly.

"THIS HAT IS MY TREASURE! I WON'T FORGIVE ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH THIS HAT!"

"If your hat is so precious to you, protect it properly!" Time stopped as one of Buggy's hands flew straight into the hat, stabbing straight through it. Luffy shook with barely contained rage.

"THAT'S THE HAT SHANKS GAVE ME!" He screamed. My mind blanked.

_That's... Red-Haired Shanks's hat? He GAVE it to Luffy?_

While my brain processed that, Luffy lunged towards his hat that was held aloft by Buggy's hand. The clown reeled it in, tossed it on the ground, and spat on it.

"This is Shank's hat? No wonder it looked so familiar. He and I used to be buddies." He said breezily.

"Shanks is my hero… and you say you're his friend?" My captain hissed, and slammed his foot into Buggy's stomach. The clown's head popped off as his body flew backwards, describing a full circle before hitting the ground. Luffy's chest heaved as he picked up his hat and loomed over Buggy. "How dare you treat his hat like this… You even got spit on it!" He exclaimed, and reached down to wipe the hat off on his opponent's face. After placing his hat back on his head he bent down and grabbed the sides of Buggy's face and stretched. "Shanks being your friend. Don't you EVER say those words again." Luffy growled.

Buggy attempted to talk around Luffy's pulling fingers. "I don't know what Shanks was to you, but I'll say whatever I like about him." The clown retorted, squirming around. Luffy punched him in the head.

A flash of orange caught my attention. Nami's head popped back into hiding at the far end of the street as she edged around the fight. I glanced over at Luffy and Buggy, then at Zoro.

_Time to go see what our thief is up to._

 

* * *

 

I slipped around corners, keeping Nami in sight and being careful of where I placed my feet. I caught up completely when she stopped in front of a heavy oaken door, and grinned to myself.

"Having fun?" I asked from directly behind her. She yelped, spun, and swung her fist. I leaned back in time for it to breeze past my chest.

"Jeez! Don't scare me like that!" She gave me a dirty look and pulled out a set of lockpicks. "What do you want?"

"Thought I'd play lookout for you while you rob the circus." I replied, leaning against the wall to admire her technique. She glanced up at me, and I absent-mindedly took note of the fact that I was about half a head taller than her, even with her heels on.

"Why?" She asked, jiggling the doorknob and pushing with her hip, brow scrunched in concentration.

"Luffy would be upset if someone got the drop on our navigator." I said as the door eased open smoothly. She scowled at me and slipped inside. I moved to stand in front of the door, content to be a watchdog. She, apparently, had other ideas.

Her hand reached back out, snagging my collar, and she yanked me inside the building. Shutting the door softly with her free hand, she fixed me with a glare. "I'm not your navigator! We're just working together for now!" She hissed, and I raised my hands in mock-surrender. She relinquished her hold on my collar and turned to survey the room with an appraising glance.

"Sure, sure. Luffy's kind of an idiot, and stubborn as hell, but he's not a bad guy you know." I said off-handedly while straightening my shirt. Nami had produced some sacks from… somewhere, and began shoveling Buggy's treasure horde into them.

"I'll admit it. Your crew is a bit different than the pirates I usually rob from. But that doesn't mean I want to join you." She huffed at me.

_Regularly steals from pirates._

"That's fair. Like I said though, Luffy's stubborn."

"Aha!" She suddenly chirped, fingers curling around a piece of parchment. "Found you!" The item was then rolled up and stuffed down her shirt.

"That the map to Grand Line?" I asked. She shoved a sack of treasure into my arms.

"Yes. I told Luffy I'd steal it for him, so I'll give it to him myself." She stated, and I blinked.

"Generous."

"It was what we agreed on! I don't back out on my deals." She said seriously, and I grinned.

_I don't know what makes you tick yet, but I really want you to join us, lady. If nothing else, Loguetown would be fun as hell. We could rob the Marines blind._ _**Mental Note:** _ _Gonna need a disguise by then. Sunglasses. Maybe a hat. Different pants? Oooo, I could get a fake beard!_

"Hey, you coming?"

I blinked again, and discovered she had collected the rest of the treasure while I was making mental lists. "Yep." I smiled, and followed her back out. We were halfway down the street when we heard a shout.

"I'LL NEVER LET YOU LEAVE ALIVE!"

One look at Buggy's torso flying at us later, and I was shoving Nami down the street in a run. "C'mon, run damnit!" I snapped, and she finally got her act together.

"You thought you could fool me, Nami? I'll send you to hell!" Buggy's voice was now dangerously close, and without thinking I reached out to snag her by the waist and heft her over one shoulder. She didn't like that too much.

"PUT ME DOWN!"

**WHAM**

"You've got… great aim…" I half complimented, half gasped as I dropped her and the treasure sack in favor of doubling over. Her knee had found its way to my wound with pinpoint accuracy. As my arms wound around my waist, hers wound around her beloved treasure. Buggy screamed in pain behind us, from what appeared to be Luffy having kicked him in the balls.

_Right in the Buggy Balls! At least they don't explode **oh dear god what am I thinking.**_

"Your opponent is still me." My captain said, hat shading his eyes before he looked up and over at the two of us. "Nami, put the treasure down and get out of here!" He ordered, and the lady thief glared daggers at him.

"Why should I put _my_ treasure down?" She yelled defiantly, and Buggy's upper torso twitched from where it had plummeted a few feet away from us.

" _Your_ treasure?" He asked scathingly.

_Really? You're doing this now?_

"Of course it's my treasure! I'm a thief who steals treasure from pirates, and I just stole yours! That makes it mine!" Nami shook her fist at Buggy and I felt a headache coming on again.

"Oh! I see." Luffy smacked a fist into his open palm as if he understood.

_Do you?_

"BULLSHIT! That treasure is mine! You think it's yours because you stole it? Whoever raised you was an idiot!" Buggy yelled at Nami. It was brief, but her facial expression twitched.

_Parents. Rage at badmouthing of parents. Deceased parents? Hates pirates... **Oh.** **I get it now.**_

"Shut the fuck up, bastard. You don't talk about people's parents like that." I snarled, straightening as much as I was able. Buggy's top half lifted off the ground, and he attempted to drill holes through my head with his eyes.

"Kai!" Luffy yelled, frowning at Nami.

_Right. Gotta get her out of the way._

I spun and grinned at her. Her eyes widened in the half second she had to realize what I was doing before I bent, scooped her and her treasure up, and started running.

"WHY ARE YOU CARRYING ME AGAIN?" It was at this point I realized that I'd eventually go deaf if she came with us.

"Captain's orders."

"HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!" Had I the energy to laugh at her tortured expression, I would have. "STOP, YOU IDIOT!" She squirmed again, and I stumbled as a hand _Neither hers nor mine shit it's the clown_ gripped my arm and yanked. Nami fell, I spun, and Buggy sunk a fist into my gut.

I dropped like a stone.

_Stop. Aiming. For. My. Injury!_

My hatless Captain shot overhead, foot planted in Buggy's face. The clown pirate's head smashed into Nami's treasure bag, scattering it across the ground. Luffy hit the ground just behind me and cast an eye over Buggy's various limbs strewn about, then turned and hefted me to my feet.

"Nice kick, Captain."

"Thanks!" He grinned, perking up as Nami made her way over to us. "Oh yea, the map!" He remembered. Nami was less enthusiastic at our win.

"My treasure got scattered everywhere!" She jabbed a finger under my nose, and I crossed my eyes to look at it.

"Uh…Sorry?" I wasn't sure how that was my fault. Nami let out an exasperated sigh, then fished the map out of her shirt and handed it to Luffy. He spread it open with an enormous grin.

"AWESOME! I've finally got it! A map to Grand Line!" He said excitedly, eyes shining. The moment was ruined by Buggy's voice piping up yet again.

"Hey, Rubberman."

We turned to face his floating head simultaneously. "Eh? You're still alive?" Luffy tilted his head inquisitively. Buggy scowled.

"I'll kill you once and for all!" He shouted. "GATHER UP, PARTS!" His limbs flew towards him and he was suddenly… very… short?

"You wouldn't be looking for _these_ , would you?" Nami asked from atop a wriggling pile of tied up body parts. I grinned and gave her a thumbs up. Luffy laughed, stretching his arms behind him.

"That's a cool trick!" He said, his smile dangerous. "Leave the rest to me!" Buggy began freaking out. **"RUBBER BAZOOKA!"**

The move was indeed like a cannon. I shaded my eyes as Buggy flew through the air in an impressively high arc, and whistled. "I'd score that a ten out of ten, Captain."

Luffy laughed, and raised his hands into the air. "Victory!"

 

* * *

 

We made our way back over towards our sleeping swordsman after Nami had re-collected all her treasure, with help from Luffy, who grinned widely at her.

"So, you're gonna be our navigator, right?" He asked cheerfully, and I smirked.

_Told you he was stubborn._

She huffed, then smiled. "I'll help you guys out for now, since it seems like I'll be able to earn a lot with you around." She relented, nuzzling her bag of treasure with Beli signs in her eyes. I chuckled, then winced.

_No more laughing for a bit._

"So how much do you think you've got there?" I asked casually, slipping a hand beneath my shirt to check on my bandages. It didn't feel like the blood was seeping through yet, but I'd seriously need some rest after all this.

Nami hummed. "Buggy said that he only took the best treasure, so this has to be full of high quality items. I'd say… at least 10 million Beli." She pronounced as we reached Zoro. I leaned against the wall next to the swordsman while Luffy retrieved his cut-up hat. He stared at it gloomily for a moment, then placed it on his head lightly, fingers trailing over where it had been slashed.

"I've divided the treasure into two bags!" Nami told him briskly. "You carry one, and I'll carry the other, since they're both heavy…" Her voice trailed off upon noticing Luffy's mood. "That hat… it's really important to you, isn't it?" She asked carefully. Luffy's grin didn't reach his eyes.

"Yea. But it's alright. I feel better now that I got rid of Buggy." He said, plopping down next to Zoro and patting the swordsman's green hair. "Oi, Zoro. Wake up." He said, and the swordsman opened his eyes slowly.

"Hmmm?" His tone of voice was one of restraint and resignation.

"Let's go."

Zoro rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up. "Did you finish the fight?" He asked, and Luffy nodded.

"We got the map and the treasure!" Luffy informed him as they both stood up. Zoro's eyes flicked over to Nami holding her treasure, and then to me holding my side. His eyebrow crept upwards as he placed his swords back in the loop just below his haramaki.

"Did something stupid?" He asked me, and I tried to turn my wince into a grin.

"Wasn't me that did the stupid things, but I'm gonna be sleeping for longer than usual when we're done here." I responded. His gaze snapped over Nami so quickly I don't think anyone else noticed before settling back on me.

Luffy straightened. "Oh yea! I'll go wake the old guy up." He said. He turned around and got a single step forward before a new voice made him stop in his tracks.

"You…" I looked down the street that would have curved around the bar, heading towards the opposite side of town from the docks, and saw a horde of townspeople staring at us. "We live here." They explained unnecessarily, and I snorted.

"Really? Wouldn't have guessed it."

"Did the pirates fight among themselves? Is there anything you can tell us?" They asked, choosing to ignore my sarcasm, and Nami's eyes brightened.

"Oh! Well, they kind of did. I think there are still some of them here…" She trailed off as she realized she couldn't tell them that our group minus herself were also pirates. She massaged her temple with one hand. "There's not a whole lot left to tell you…" She muttered, and someone in the crowd pointed behind us.

"MAYOR!"

The townsfolk pushed past us to hover over their leader, and were not careful where their elbows went. Zoro pulled my arm behind his head and slung his own around my back to keep me upright. Luffy grinned at the mass of people.

"Ah… Sorry!" He called, and they turned to regard us suspiciously. "I did that!" He said brightly.

Zoro snorted and Nami freaked out.

"WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM THAT?" She shrieked at Luffy, who gave her a blank stare.

"You saw me do it." He deadpanned, and she lowered her voice to a hiss.

"I know, but still! You had a good reason!" She sniped as the townspeople turned to glare at us as one.

"It doesn't matter what reason you had!" Someone said. "Are you pirates?" Another piped up. A pregnant silence fell over the group in anticipation of our answer.

Luffy placed a hand on his hat solemnly, then looked up and grinned again. "Yep! We're pirates!"

"IDIOT!" Nami screamed at him.

"But it's true!" Luffy whined. The crowd charged, and we started running.

"YOU JUST MADE THE SITUATION WORSE!"

"We won't need a foghorn on the ship at least!" I chuckled, and Zoro laughed.

"They're good people!" Luffy said as we were chased down the street.

"What?" Nami asked between breaths, not understanding what Luffy meant.

"For their mayor, for just one person, they're all getting so mad." My captain explained with a grin. "No matter what excuse we give, they'll still be angry with us!" He finished. We dodged into an alleyway, and perked up upon seeing Shushu standing his ground. He woofed at us as we ran past.

"You're helping us? Thanks, Shushu!" Luffy called as we made our getaway.

 

* * *

 

We reached the docks before the townsfolk caught up to us, but it was a close thing. I was finally starting to feel the hurt from my injury, and Zoro was supporting most of my weight. Nami breathed a sigh of relief as we reached our boats.

"Phew. I was getting pretty worried, but we made it, thanks to Shushu." She said. "Why does it always end up this way?" She moaned, and I chuckled at the thought that all of her escapades ended up running from angry crowds.

"Who cares what they think. We did what we came to do!" Luffy declared. Zoro and I exchanged a look, remembering how we ended up here.

"It's not quite like that…" I protested mildly, and Zoro shook his head as Luffy's attention was commanded by Nami's ship.

"Is this your boat?" He asked, and his eyes brightened. "Woah! It's so cool! I envy you!" He said with his usual grin. Nami frowned.

"I don't think it's cool. I stole it from a bunch of stupid pirates."

_That… sounds familiar._

"WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU, THIEF!"

The pirate idiot trio sneered over the edge of the boat at us, and abruptly paled once they noticed Zoro glaring at them.

"Get lost." He ordered. They obeyed.

"That… was surprisingly easy." I commented, watching them swim into the sunset while Zoro hefted me into our dinghy with minimal effort.

"They're weaklings." He said as he settled himself next to me. Luffy untied our boat from the dock and pushed us off, tossing a rope to Nami so she could connect our boats.

"Your ship has Buggy's mark!" He exclaimed, pointing to the sail, and she leaned over the rail to give him a look.

"Well, it was one of their boats, so of course it does. I can erase it later." She said before bustling around to get ready to sail.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU MORONS!" A mighty voice bellowed from the pier. I followed the sound to the Mayor who was standing on the dock watching us leave. His glare transformed into a happy smile, and moisture gathered at the corners of his eyes. "SORRY!" He called. "I OWE YOU!"

We grinned, and Luffy waved at him.

"Don't worry about it!" Was his happy-go-lucky response.

The sails went up, the tow line tightened, and Luffy cheered. I slid down until I was flat against the bottom of the boat and stretched out, gazing up into the impossibly blue sky, and grinned.


	5. Cabbages and Longnoses

" **WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! YOU LEFT THE TREASURE BEHIND?!"**

Nami was making her displeasure known.

" **THAT WAS FIVE MILLION BELI!"**

Luffy's expression said that he didn't know what the fuss was about. "So? The town was really damaged. They'll need it to rebuild." He said practically.

" **IT WAS _MY_ TREASURE!"**

Zoro and I looked at each other for a long moment before bursting into laughter. Nami completely lost her temper and shoved Luffy's head towards the water.

"What are you doing? Stop! I can't swim!" He failed wildly, and the two of us not involved in the little drama laughed even harder. "If you want it that bad just go get it back!" Luffy panicked.

" **HOW COULD I AFTER ALL THAT? IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN YOU ARE SO DEAD!"**

She released Luffy and stormed across to her ship, leaving the captain glaring at the two of us left. "You're laughing at me!" He accused, and tackled Zoro. I managed to avoid being caught up in their little scuffle, and eventually things calmed down long enough for me to remember something very important.

"Oiiiii! Naaaaamiii!" I called, and her head popped up from the side of her boat.

_" **WHAT?"**_

_Ulp. Time to lay on the charm, I suppose._

I sat up slightly and grinned at her. "Do you have a needle and thread?" I asked sweetly, and her glare softened, becoming thoughtful as she followed my gaze over to my roughhousing captain and his straw hat.

"I think so." She placed a hand to her chin thoughtfully.

"Maybe some extra fabric?" I queried, miming tying something under my chin. "So it doesn't blow away so much?"

She slowly smiled. "I do, but it'll cost you."

"Okay."

She blinked at me. "Just like that?"

I shrugged carelessly. "It's important. I'll owe you a favor."

Her eyes narrowed fractionally, and then she grinned.

"It's a deal!"

 

* * *

 

"IT'S FIXED!" Luffy crowed delightedly, and I cracked an eye open to see him beam at Nami.

"All I did was sew it back together and add the strings. Try not to poke it too much…" She said with a pleased smile as she put her sewing supplies away. Luffy began jabbing his finger into his hat repeatedly, feeling the seam where it had been sewn back together.

"Right, right. You did a great job!" He complimented, and his finger punched a hole straight through it.

"DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME AT ALL?" Nami shrieked and jammed her needle into Luffy's forehead.

"STOP POKING ME WITH THAT! IT HURTS!" My captain whined, fending her off with one hand. I closed my eye again, content to listen to their argument.

"It's useless if I hit you, so I HAVE to use a needle!" Nami snapped, sounding like she was at the end of her rope.

"Oh!" Luffy's voice, I noted, was pitched slightly higher than normal when clarity came to him. "That makes sense!"

Cloth shifting and a gentle chime told me that Zoro had given up on taking his nap. "You guys are too noisy. I can't sleep with you hollering." He grumbled. I heard the scruff of skin against skin as he rubbed his eyes, and he grunted slightly as he sat up.

I could feel Luffy's stomach grumble through the planks beneath me. "I'm hungry!" He announced. I opened my eyes and twisted to look at Nami, who gave me a suspicious frown.

"What?" She asked.

I put on my best fake innocent face. "Share some food with us?" I resolutely ignored the snickering coming from Zoro's general direction. Nami held firm for a full thirty seconds before giving in.

"Fine! Jeez." She rolled her eyes at me and disappeared into the little cabin on her ship. I held my palm out to Luffy, and he high fived me with a grin. "You three need to be more prepared!" She scolded, emerging with what appeared to be jerky. "You didn't bring any food or water… You shouldn't underestimate the ocean." She nagged as she handed us all a piece of the dried meat.

"It wasn't the ocean I underestimated. It was Luffy's stomach capacity." I grumbled, and Zoro laughed at her quizzical expression. She began to ask something, but Luffy cut her off.

"Hey, I see something." He pointed portside while swallowing.

_No wait, I've got it. A vaccum exists inside his stomach, he simply inhales what he eats._

Nami gave Zoro and I a pitying look. "It's a miracle you've survived up till now." She commented, and Zoro snorted.

"There's always a way." He said as he bit into the jerky.

"Look, there's an island!" Luffy exclaimed, and Nami finally got out her telescope to look at it.

"That island is useless to us, it's unpopulated. Let's keep moving." She said, snapping the tool shut with a nod. Unfortunately for her, Luffy had other ideas and started rowing us towards the island right as she began to walk back to her little cabin. She overbalanced and almost put her face through the deck, but managed to catch herself in time.

"Let's see if we can find someone to join our crew!" Luffy said with a grin. Nami shrieked ineffectually at him while Zoro stretched lengthwise across our dinghy, boots planted against one side and using his hands for a head cushion against the other.

"Sure. We should find some food too." Was his easy response. He regarded me thoughtfully for a moment before grinning. "You know, Nami was right. We don't seem to have any plans, do we?" He asked, and I laughed.

"No plans? I wouldn't say that!" I grinned at him, and started ticking things off on my fingers. "Luffy will be the Pirate King, and you will become the World's Greatest Swordsman. That means we're looking for Raftel, and you'll have to fight Mihawk. So we're heading to Grand Line no matter what." I tilted my head at Zoro, who was giving me the strangest stare. "What? It's true. Anyway, we'll need a larger boat before we head to Grand Line, and we'll need to find a cook at the very least. We'll need…I'd say a crew of about six in order to properly man whatever ship we get, so we'll need to pick at least one other person up." I did some quick mental calculations. "I would actually prioritize getting a ship first and foremost, and a cook after that. If we could find a gunner, that would be fantastic. We'll have to stop at Loguetown before we head to Grand Line for sure, so we'll be able to stock up on supplies there."

Nami had also begun looking at me strangely. "What?" I frowned at her and Zoro, crossing my arms across my chest. "Why are you both looking at me like that?"

"I'm just shocked one of you actually has some common sense." Nami said faintly, and Zoro snorted.

"Someone had to balance Luffy's insanity out." He commented, folding his arms behind his head and stretching out even farther.

"So what is your goal then, Kai?" Nami asked, and I gave her a blank look. Her eyebrows furrowed. "I mean, Luffy wants to be the Pirate King, Zoro wants to be the World's Greatest Swordsman. So what do you want to do?" She finished.

"I need to kill someone." I said casually, uncrossing my arms.

_That should be the end of that._

"That's it? That's your goal?"

_Huh. I was wrong._

"You sound surprised." I said, and she sniffed at me.

"Luffy and Zoro have impossible dreams and you just want to kill someone." She said with a hint of anger.

_Where's that coming from?_

"Look, it may not mean much to you. But until I handle that person one way or another, I can't move forward." She was giving me a strange look again, so I elaborated slightly. "I'm saying that I can't work on my actual goals until after I've dealt with him. So I need to focus on him first before I work on what I want to do."

"So you're saying he's dangerous." She summed up, and I nodded.

"Kai will beat him." I glanced over at Luffy to find him giving me us his serious face.

_He… actually understands how much this means to me._

"Of course." Was my audible response.

"And we'll be there to back him up, so it's practically a done deal." Zoro chimed in with a smirk, and I relaxed back against the side of the boat again.

"You guys want to come check out the island with me?" Luffy asked, and I prodded my side thoughtfully.

"I think I'll stay here and sleep some more, Luffy." I said, settling back down to continue my map.

"Awwww. What about you, Zoro?" Luffy pouted. I grinned as I closed my eyes.

"I'll stay as well. This island looks pretty empty." The swordsman rumbled. There was silence for a long moment before Nami huffed.

"Don't give me that look. I'll come with you." She relented to Luffy apparently giving her some variation of puppy eyes. I tuned them out in favor of soaking up the sun and sleeping.

 

* * *

 

I woke gradually.

I felt the sun's warmth on my legs and partially on my arms, but none of it was reaching my chest or face. Odd. Weirder still was the pressure on my chest and arms. It felt like someone was sitting on me.

_Sitting on me?_

I cracked open one eye and suddenly lurched upright into a sitting position, cracking my skull against Luffy's. He fell backwards into my lap as I cradled my forehead with one hand.

"Luffy, don't wake me up like that ever again." I ordered as he laughed and he bounced off of me.

"Kaaaaiiii you missed so much! You didn't get to meet Uncle Cabbage!" He exclaimed.

I blinked. Glanced over at Zoro. Zoro shrugged. Looked back at Luffy. Blinked again. It still didn't compute.

"Uncle Cabbage?" I tried. My captain nodded vigorously.

"Yea! He's really cool! He lives in a treasure chest, and he looks after all these strange animals!"

More blinking. "A treasure chest?"

"Yea! I asked him to join the crew but he said no. Which is fine! After all, he's gotta look after all the animals and we don't have space for them on our boat, but I really wish we could have brought him along with us!"

I reached out and took my captain's temperature. "Well, you don't seem to have a fever…"

He batted my hand away with a laugh. "After I become the Pirate King I'll bring you back so you can meet him!" He said, and bounced away to sit on the prow of the boat. Zoro shifted to be within grabbing range if he fell in the drink.

"You know, Kai was right earlier." Nami changed the topic out of nowhere, and I was still trying to figure out who this Uncle Cabbage person was.

"Hmm? About what?" Luffy asked her.

"About getting a proper ship next. We can't possibly go to Grand Line as we are currently." She explained, and Luffy lit up, moving to sit between Zoro and I.

"Right! Even though Uncle Cabbage gave us plenty of fruit, we don't have any meat!" He said, as if this was an absolute travesty and he couldn't imagine going without meat for a second longer. I cast a glance at the new sack that had slipped past my notice thus far.

_That probably won't last us longer than the next island._

"I wasn't talking about the food supplies!" Nami snapped ineffectually. Zoro splayed his legs across the boat in complete relaxation.

"We don't have any sake either!" He said, a faraway look in his eyes and a grin on his face. My own gaze went distant as I dreamed of bars and rum and beer.

"Let's not worry about that just yet." Nami said, and I gave her a wounded look.

"Why not? Alcohol is very important!" I reasoned, and she bestowed a withering glare upon me.

"Because Grand Line is the most dangerous place in the world!" She exclaimed. "Every pirate in the world goes there to get rich, but we won't make it unless we get a better ship! Even beyond that, we're short on crew members and have next to zero equipment." She said, and I tilted my head at her.

"Why are you telling us things we already know?" I frowned.

"Your plan was good, but it was the absolute basics. We need supplies once we get a ship, and we should also plan our journey carefully." She said, consulting one of her maps.

"You keep saying 'we'. Are you going to actually join us as our navigator then?" I asked, and she sighed at me.

"How were you planning to get to Grand Line otherwise?" She said sarcastically, but the corner of her mouth quirked upward, and I smiled.

"Nami is our navigator. I don't want anyone else to be my navigator but her." Luffy informed me seriously.

_Captain, you're troublesome._

"Got it." I said aloud. He grinned at me. Nami made a humming noise as she looked over her map.

"There's a town due north. We should head there first." She said, and began correcting our course.

"Good idea. We can find a bar." I said, tossing a mischievous grin at Zoro, who responded in kind.

"No, we should look for a ship first…" Nami began.

"AND EAT SOME MEAT!" Luffy interjected.

"And _then_ a bar?" Zoro asked.

"Sounds good." I nodded.

"Why did I agree to join you idiots…" Nami groaned.

 

* * *

 

I hopped off the boat and stretched, popping the joints in my arms and shoulders. The island we had found was a 'flat' island. It wasn't really flat per se, it had hills and a lovely forest and a little mountain to the north end of it, but its type was referred to as 'flat' because it didn't really have a beach.

Flat islands were ones that were more or less a pillar of rock that things grew on, such as grass and trees and crops. The 'beaches' were mostly areas closer to sea level that would flood slightly when the tide came in.

I took a deep breath and smiled. The air smelled like wet soil and oak trees. I grinned, my hands on my hips, and turned to face the others just in time for Zoro to throw a rope in my face, knocking my Disguise Sunglasses askew.

"Quit standing around and help tie up the boats." He grumbled at me, and I glared before untangling myself from the rope and moving towards the closest tree to do just that.

"Haven't been on land for three days and I can't even take a moment to appreciate it." I groused under my breath.

"I heard that." He called.

" **GOOD!"**

"So is there a town here?" Luffy asked Nami as I stomped back over. Our navigator consulted her map and smiled.

"Looks like it!" She said brightly. Zoro hopped out of the ship and stretched out in the same manner I had.

"Been a long time since I was last on solid ground!" He said with a grin. I let my sunglasses fall down my nose and glared at him. He grinned _wider_. I glared _harder_. Luffy looked between the two of us and laughed.

"That's because you were sleeping at the last island!" He said with a grin. A flicker of movement in the treeline drew my attention away from the **Stubborn One** , and I glanced over.

"Mm." Zoro grunted, following my stare. "By the way, what are those guys doing there?" He said, pointing to the teenager and three kids who were watching us from the cliffs. All four noticed us noticing them, and the three kids freaked out and ran. There was much shouting and screaming among them.

"I have… utterly no idea." I answered the swordsman, the muscles underneath my right eye twitching. I reached up and pushed my sunglasses back up my nose.

"Well that's a first." He deadpanned.

I didn't have time for a response, because the teenager was peeking over the cliffs, and then standing in a 'heroic' pose.

"I AM THE GREAT PIRATE CAPTAIN USOPP, WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THE SECURITY OF THIS VILLAGE! I'M ALSO KNOWN AS 'CAPTAIN' CAPTAIN USOPP!" He marched down the cliff and stood before us. "It'd be best if you don't attack this village because my 80 million men are standing by to fight you if try!"

_Threat assessment: Negligible, carries no obvious weapons, has neither the calluses nor muscles of a martial artist or trained fighter, still leaves ranged weapons a possibility. Definitely a liar, all of what he said was bullshit. Hmm. Wears hand-me-downs, patched and mended multiple times in various areas but still kept relatively clean. Mended areas are roughly done, so by someone not skilled with a needle, likely himself. Why mend clothes himself, ah. He doesn't have anyone to do it for him then. Orphan? Probable. In any case… I'm still unimpressed._

In the half second it took me to go through my mental checkpoints of 'Meeting a New Person', Nami had made her own conclusions.

"You're lying, right?" She said with a blank expression. The kid freaked out.

"AAAAAAAAA I'VE BEEN CAUGHT!" He shrieked, and Nami gave him a pitying look.

"You even admitted it?"

The kid freaked out even more, which caused Luffy to laugh at him, which caused the kid to snap out of his freaking out some.

"Don't underestimate me!" He pointed a thumb at his chest. "I AM A MAN WITH HIGH SELF-ESTEEM! EVERYONE CALLS ME 'HONORABLE USOPP'!"

"Maa, I thought they called you 'Captain' Usopp?" I asked calmly, scratching my nose.

"I'm still wondering how an army of 80 million would fit on an island this small." Zoro added his two cents.

"Nevermind all that! Where can we eat some meat?" Luffy asked the kid.

_Man, that is one unfortunate nose. Poor guy._

The native islander began to calm down. "You want food? You aren't gonna pillage the town?" He asked, voice shaking slightly.

We all looked at one another.

"It wasn't the plan, no." I responded, and Luffy frowned.

"We aren't those kind of pirates." He said firmly, and the kid looked taken aback.

"Eh?"

_In the interests of moving things along…._

I grinned widely and slung an arm around the kid's shoulders. "So it's like this! There are two different kinds of pirates, broadly speaking." I said, every inch of my posture and attitude saying 'You have nothing to fear from me'. The kid began to look slightly curious about what I was saying. "There are the pirates who steal and pillage and generally make a nuisance of themselves. Those are called Morganeers. Thankfully for everyone involved, we're Peace Mains." I stopped and grinned over my shoulder at Luffy wickedly. "At least, so far!" He laughed at my antics and I went back to my explanation, starting to walk the kid along the path to what I guessed was town. "So, Peace Mains don't act like Morganeers! We're in it for the adventure and freedom. We'll fight other pirates and the marines if they come after us, but we don't usually bother civilians."

"Ohhh, I see! So that's how it is!" The kid brightened, and I let go of him with a smile.

"Exactly! So, we were wondering…"

 

* * *

 

Having expressed our desires for "MEAT," a dual chorus of "Alcohol of any kind," and "Something cheap, preferably," The kid had led us to a small tavern at the edge of town called 'Meshi'. It was a pretty nice place, cleaner than most taverns I'd ever been in, with smooth wooden booths and a friendly atmosphere. Zoro, Nami and I piled in to one side of the booth, being aware of Luffy's endless appetite and penchant for stealing food from other people's plates. The kid, being unaware of such things, had decided to sit next to our captain and as such, had gotten to eat very little of his food. Zoro and I were deep into our cups by the time we were done eating, but I was pleased to note he could hold his liquor as well as I could.

"Looking for crew members?" The kid parroted Luffy, who was polishing off a whole ham by himself.

"And a ship!" Luffy carefully swallowed before speaking, and Zoro and I smirked at each other.

"Sounds like a great adventure!" Usopp sighed with a happy smile on his face. I grinned as I knocked back a mug of rum and relaxed back in my seat.

"Huuuu… That's the good stuff." I examined the remains of my drink with an easy smile and a comfortable warmth spreading through my body.

"This sake is pretty good too." Zoro said, expression mirroring mine. We eyed each other, then the drinks we held.

"Swap?" We asked simultaneously, and laughed.

"There's only one ship in this town. It's not too large… but it's not really small either." The kid was telling Luffy, and Nami's ears perked up.

"Where?" She asked, and I took a sip of Zoro's sake.

_That's… a really different taste than my rum. But it's good._

"There's a mansion not too far from town. The ship belong to mansion's owner." Longnose frowned slightly. "Well, we say she's the owner, but she's really young. She's always sick, and has to lie in bed all day." He explained.

"Then how is she the owner of the mansion?" Nami asked, and leaned forward curiously. The kid started to tell the story, but Luffy frowned down at his empty plate.

"Hey, Ma'am," he asked the waitress, "can I get some more food?"

"And sake!" Zoro chimed in with a grin.

"And rum, and some more oranges!" I waved my empty tankard at the harried older woman with a charming smile.

"ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?" The kid shouted at us exasperatedly. I grinned and leaned against the backrest of the booth.

"Can't expect us to listen to a story without drinks to go with it." I said smoothly, and he deflated. The waitress bustled up with our drinks and oranges as requested, and I peeled one while the kid geared up to tell his story.

"The girl who owns the mansion… Her parents died about a year ago of a strange disease, leaving her alone except for a few servants." He explained, frowning.

"That sucks." I said bluntly, and Nami's elbow buried itself in my ribs.

Ow.

The devil woman sighed, and planted her head in her hand. "Let's forget about looking for a ship here, we can find one somewhere else." She said, giving up on the idea of getting a ship here.

"Ok! We're not in a hurry. But let's stock up on more meat!" Luffy grinned at her, chowing down on what was left of his food. I nursed another sip of rum.

"And alcohol." I chimed in.

Usopp gave Luffy a considering look.

"You said that you were looking for crew members?" He asked Luffy, who actually took the time to look at him between shoveling food into his maw.

"Yeah! Why, know someone who wants to join?"

"Let me be the captain and I'll join you!" Usopp said, looking determined and pseudo-manly and wimpy all at once.

"No way." Zoro, Luffy, and I said in unison. The kid glared at us.

"What kind of attitude is that?" He exclaimed, hands on his hips. I set my tankard down with an audible clank before pinning him with a look.

"If you can't beat _me_ ," I pointed at myself, "And you can't beat _him_ ," I jerked my thumb at Zoro, "Then there's no way you could _ever_ be our captain." I pointed at Luffy, and picked up my tankard. "And you sure as _hell_ couldn't beat any one of us."

Usopp glared hard, but a church bell went off, signifying the time of day.

"It's that time…" He muttered, and got to his feet and left.

We watched him go and went back to our planning.

"Well we do need supplies. Food, water, and some first aid wouldn't go amiss… And I'll need to see if they have any mapmakers in town." Nami pulled a pencil from somewhere and began making notes on a napkin. I glanced down at the eye-searing shirt Boodle had given me that I was still wearing.

_Yea, I don't want to be stuck in this thing for much longer._

"I could use a couple new shirts." I mentioned, and she nodded.

"You'll owe me 400 Beli, with interest." She stated, and I stared.

_What?_

"Uh, why?" was what came out of my mouth.

"Because you obviously don't have any money of your own." She sniffed in my general direction.

"Nevermind. I'll figure it out on my own." I side-eyed her warily and raised my tankard to my lips.

_Right. If she ever finds out that I actually have money of my own I can kiss it goodbye._

"USOPP'S PIRATES ARE HERE!"

Zoro pounded me on the back a few times as I choked on my mouthful of rum, and I managed to swallow it instead of spitting it out all over the table. A triumph, to be sure.

"What?" Nami's response was much more sedate. Luffy looked over the three weird munchkins that had accosted our table with a blank expression.

"Who are they?" He asked Zoro, who gave me a few more slaps on the back before crossing his arms again. The three kids looked at us warily and huddled together.

"Hey, the captain isn't here…" One said, and was that an onion on his head?

"It… Maybe they ate him?" A different one said. I mentally labeled him 'Coward'.

Zoro gave me an evil smirk, angled so that the three kids couldn't see it.

"Hey! Pirates! What did you do to our captain?" The middle one yelled at us. Clearly he's the bravest of the bunch.

"Give him back!" Onion said.

**Clink!**

Luffy set his drink down and stretched out with a satisfied yawn. "That was good meat!" He exclaimed happily, likely not realizing that the three kid's eyes had grown as large as saucers.

"M-meat?" the littlest one trembled.

Zoro planted his elbow on the table with a solid thunk, and rested his cheek on his fist. They looked up at him. He grinned widely, evilly.

"Your captain?" His voice had the faintest hint of a growl in it. "He was pretty tasty." I hid my sudden smile behind my tankard.

"AAAHHHHHHH! CANNIBALS!" They shrieked, staring straight at Nami.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME FOR?" She shrieked right back, and Zoro and I dissolved into gales of laughter. She pinned us with a glare. "YOU!" She pointed a finger in Zoro's face. "Why would you tell them something weird like that!?" She shouted, and we laughed even harder. I caught my breath and gave the three kids a winning smile.

"We didn't eat him, kiddos. He escorted us here, we ate some food, and then he ran off saying something about it being 'that time', whatever that means."

The three of them relaxed and piled in next to Luffy. The waitress came back over and gave the three of them a warm smile and said she'd bring some more food out, and weren't we just the nicest young men and women for taking the younger ones under our wings for a few hours and she really did appreciate it and she'd be sure to tell their parents how well behaved they were today _they fidgeted as she said that bit_ and oh goodness she shouldn't be standing here talking so much but she'd be right back and this round was on the house and did we want more to drink?

"Yes, please, and thank you." I said, twitching slightly. And off she went.

"Kai, I had no idea!"

I side-eyed Nami again.

"What."

"That you were frightened of motherly figures." I inhaled my drink wrong. Zoro pounded me on the back again.

"Look you she-devil, I am not frightened of…"

I was interrupted by the arrival of more ale, food, and a plate of bacon that I snatched for myself. I managed to mostly tune out both Nami and our waitress this time, and caught Zoro smirking smugly at me.

I buried my elbow in his ribs.

While he caught his breath and glared daggers at me, the kids were chatting with Luffy.

"So it was time to go to the mansion then!" Onion exclaimed.

"The mansion where the sick girl lives?" Nami asked. Zoro tried to sneak some bacon off my plate, and I smacked his hands away lightning fast.

"Why does he go there?" Luffy asked the kids.

"To tell lies!"

_What._

"Isn't that a bad thing?" Luffy wondered, scratching his head underneath his hat. The kids smiled at him.

"No, it's actually great!"

"He tells lies to a sick girl and that's great? I'm missing something." I muttered under my breath no one in particular.

"He tells Miss Kaya stories to make her happy! None of them are true, but they make her smile." Courage in the middle spoke up.

"Oh! So he's a great guy!" Luffy said with a grin and a laugh. Nami had a fond smile on her face as she regarded the kids.

"So, to make her feel better, he's been amusing her with made up stories? That's sweet of him." She said.

"Yup! I like his nosiness!" Onion said.

"I like his cowardice!" Courage said, and I blinked. _Oi, oi…_

"I like his lies!" Coward piped up, and Zoro planted his face into his palm.

"What kind of strong points are those?" He groaned, and I snorted at his expression.

Then hiccupped.

His hand slid off his face and he stared at me.

_What? Don't give me that look I'm not drunk, it's just hic-Damnit I'll wipe that grin right off your face, don't think I won't!_

"Are you… drunk?" The swordsman asked slowly.

"No."

It came out a bit too fast.

He grinned.

I buried my elbow in his ribs again.

Luffy stood and stretched out while Zoro twitched next to me. "ALL RIGHT! We're going to go ask for a ship." He pronounced, and Nami's eyebrow twitched.

"Didn't you say you'd give up on it earlier?" She asked, throwing down money on the table to cover our food and drinks as Zoro and I stood and followed Luffy out.

"Eh, he's got his reasons." I said as we entered the sunshine.

"Could you show us to the mansion?" Nami asked the kids, and they grinned, running off in front of us.

"I don't think they'll just give us a ship though." I said somewhat dubiously, sticking close to Luffy's heels.

"No harm in asking, now is there?" Zoro pointed out.

_Fair enough._


	6. Black Cat Shuffle

"Please lend us a ship!" Luffy asked, facing a wall taller than the one at the base in Shelltown, complete with imposing iron gate. Behind it was the mansion the kids had led us to.

_Who, exactly, are you asking? The gate?_

"Well, let's just go in." He continued without waiting for an answer, attempting to scamper up the side of the wall. I raised an eyebrow before sighing.

"Oi, captain, that's a bit quick to go breaking and entering…" I drawled lazily as I moved over to give him a boost.

"Thanks, Kai!" He grinned.

"STOP HELPING HIM!" Nami shrieked as Luffy made it to the top. I turned to face her and _beamed._

"Hey! That's a good banshee impression!" I complimented, and felt a hand latch onto my collar.

_Oh please no.  
..._

Luffy grinned down at me, one hand stretched all the way down, clamped on my shirt, and the other on top of his hat. "Let's go, Kai!" He said, and my eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. _  
_

_Fuck._

"LUFFY DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE-!"

**BAM!**

_Ow._

"Okay, while making yourself into a lever-and-pulley-system is actually pretty clever, please don't do that to me again. Do it to Zoro. He'll love it." I said to the sky while splayed across Luffy's stomach.

"Oh my god they're uncontrollable." I heard Nami moan from the other side. My idiot rubber band of a captain laughed.

"Good idea, Kai!" He beamed at me. I got to my feet and straightened my sunglasses just as Zoro, Nami, and the three kids came strolling through the main gate.

_Bastards._

"Have a good trip on the Luffy Express?" Zoro smirked at me.

"I'll take you next time, Zoro!" piped Luffy, and our swordsman blanched at the thought.

"Luffy Airlines: Fly the Rubbery Skies." I beamed. Nami just sighed and put her head in her hands, muttering something about bad life decisions, idiots, and not enough money.

"CAAAAPTAIN!" The three kids exclaimed, having rounded the corner in time to see the longnose chatting up a lovely young blonde haired girl who was wearing a simple blue dress. Usopp stopped mid-story to stare at us, eyes bulging slightly.

"Why are all of _you_ here?" He blurted, and the girl leaned a bit further out of the window to get a look at us. Luffy perked up at the sight of her.

"Oh! So you're the girl he was talking about!" He exclaimed, and examined her eagerly. Usopp was quick to put an arm around Luffy's shoulder and adopt a confident pose.

"These guys heard of my reputation, and traveled far to get here. They are the new additions to the Usopp Pirates!" He declared grandly and I found myself huffing with amusement.

"Yea!" Luffy said, then caught up with what Usopp had said. "No, wait that's not…" He frowned while I stepped around them to sketch a courtly bow to the lady.

"We would like to ask a favor of you." I said, and the girl took a long, loooong look up and down my outfit before hiding a laugh behind her hand.

_Right. I'm still wearing Boodle's shirt. Looking like a crazy person. Kairi, you're an idiot sometimes._

"That's right! We need a big ship!" Luffy bounced up to stand next to me and grin winningly at the slender girl. Her lips quirked into a smile as he opened his mouth to say something else, but we were interrupted.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" A man walked around the corner, and -

_**Dangerous:** _ _Excellent sense of balance, leaves very few openings,_ _**Weapons:** _ _Unknown, strange calluses on his fingertips only, forearms most likely feel like steel cords under that butler jacket,_ _**Face:** _ _Narrow, slicked back hair… Why does he look familiar? And why can't I get a better read on him? Is it his terrible poop suit? I can't think of anything else those designs on his jacket could possibly be._

\- sneered at us. "You can't just waltz into the mansion like this!" He exclaimed and Usopp crossed his arms and looked away like a petulant child.

"Well, technically, Luffy and I didn't waltz. I think Zoro might've though." I said with a wide grin to deflect attention from the kid, because really, he just looked pathetic pouting like that.

"AS IF!" The swordsman snarled at me, and I purposefully didn't dodge the first curling into my shirt so I can whisper to him as he reeled me in to put me in a headlock.

"Do you see it?" My words were barely audible, even as I put my hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"Yeah." He responded lowly. Our worries assuaged by the fact that we are both aware of the potential problem, we separated in time for the not-ler – _Notler! Perfect!_ – to turn his attention toward us.

"Please get out! Or is there something you wanted to say?" He asked, back perfectly straight, clearly fishing for an apology.

"We want a ship." Luffy didn't give him anything but a smile.

"No way." Notler didn't give anything back. Luffy slumped and Zoro patted him on the back consolingly.

_I suppose none of us are getting what we want today._

The Notler turned his attention towards his next victim. "You're Usopp, right? The villagers talk about you all the time." Listening to him was like dunking my head into a vat of oil. By that I mean it was particularly unpleasant.

"Oh… Oh, thank you!" Usopp gained steam, putting a hand on his hip and giving the Notler a thumbs up. "You may call me Captain Usopp. Everybody calls me that."

_Preeeetty sure only three little kids do._

Dangerous poop suit guy carefully pushed his glasses up with the heel of his palm, and _wasn't that just interesting._ "The guards said that you were loitering around earlier. What were you trying to do?"

_I find it odd that he's asking more questions of the guy who lives here than the three who he doesn't know at all._

Usopp scrambled for a response. "Errr… I heard that there's a huge mole inside the mansion! So I wanted to see it for myself." I winced as the butler chuckled condescendingly.

"Well, you certainly lie well." He complimented, and Usopp looked taken aback. "You must have gotten it from your father." Notler pushed his glasses up again. "It's not surprising, considering he was a filthy pirate, but you had better stay away from Miss Kaya." He said seriously, and I gave Liar Boy another once-over.

"His dad was a pirate?" Luffy echoed.

_Well, we were all thinking it._

"…Did you say filthy?" Usopp's growled.

"You and the young Miss belong to completely different worlds. Is it money you're looking for? Name your price."

* * *

" _Name your price, folks."_  
"Going for 200, do I hear 250?"  
"Please. You're worthless. You aren't even **human**."  
"You are **useless** to me now."  
 **"Die."**  


* * *

"THAT'S ENOUGH KLAHADORE! APOLOGIZE TO USOPP AT ONCE!" Kaya's yell shook me out of my memories a second before Zoro's hand landed on my shoulder.

I didn't look at him.

 _Klahadore_ gestured demonstratively at her, as if giving a grand speech. "There's no need for me to apologize to such an uncivilized person! I'm just telling the truth!" He turned away from Kaya and back to Usopp with a sneer. I decided I would wipe it off his face before we left. "I feel sorry for you, really. You must hate your father. After all, he's a 'dumb treasure hunter' who deserted both his family and his village."

A growl left my throat, but Kaya's attempt to bring Klahadore back in line drowned it out. Usopp's expression twisted. "Shut up. Don't talk about my father like that." He snarled. Klahadore's smirk grew even larger.

"Why are you so angry? You're not very smart, are you." Klahadore pushed his glasses up again. "You should have just told your usual lies. Said that your real father is a travelling merchant, or that you and him are not blood related…"

And then Usopp punched him right in the face, knocking him to the ground.

_Good angle on the punch, but it didn't do as much damage as it should have because Klahadore moved into it like a trained combatant._

Klahadore pushed himself off the ground slightly, pushing his glasses up again. "You're so violent! Like father, like son!"

_He's **trying** to get a reaction. Why?_

" **SHUT UP!"** Usopp screamed. **"I'M PROUD THAT MY DAD WAS A PIRATE! I'M PROUD THAT HE WAS A BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA!"** He took a moment to catch his breath. **"IT'S TRUE THAT I LIKE TO LIE, BUT I'M PROUD OF HAVING A PIRATE'S BLOOD IN ME! I WILL NEVER LIE ABOUT THAT!** _ **I AM THE SON OF A PIRATE** **!**_ _ **"**_

Klahadore spoke into the silence following Usopp's words. "Pirates? Brave warriors of the sea?" He scoffed. "Don't twist the truth. It's in your blood to lie and use violence whenever you are enraged." He stood and began brushing himself off. "I believe you got close to Miss Kaya to get money." Usopp began speaking, but Klahadore bulled right over him. "IT DOESN'T MATTER, EITHER! THE FACT THAT YOUR FATHER IS A PIRATE IS _MORE_ THAN ENOUGH REASON FOR ME TO KICK YOU OUT!" He yelled, getting in Usopp's face.

 **"I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN!"** Usopp grabbed Klahadore's collar and cocked his other fist back.

"USOPP, PLEASE! DON'T USE VIOLENCE!" Kaya cried from the window, and Usopp's cocked fist lowered. She was crying in earnest now. "Klahadore isn't a bad person… He's just concerned about me. That's… That's why he gets a little extreme."

Klahadore took advantage of Usopp's distracted state to slap his hand away from his person. "Get the **hell** out. Savages like you are not welcome here. I'll let you off this time, but I'm warning you… Don't _ever_ come here again."

 

* * *

 

Usopp left. The brats got angry, Nami had to reign them in. Luffy got angry along with them, so Zoro had to reign _him_ in. By the time we got everyone wrangled and outside, Luffy had taken off into the sunset. I fell to the back of the group and ducked into a shop to purchase a new shirt before catching up with them again.

I found them a bit outside of town, and raised an eyebrow at the sight of the three kids and a strange looking man wearing a top hat and heart shaped sunglasses asleep on the ground. Nami had her face in her hands, Zoro was pinching the bridge of his nose, and I was confused.

"What happened?" I asked while unbuttoning my shirt. Nami looked up at me, and her face turned cherry red.

"Kai, why are you taking your clothes off?" She asked, voice filled with fake serenity. It was surreal.

"I bought a new shirt to replace Boodle's. How else am I gonna change?" I asked, pulling on my new red half-sleeve shirt with a grin. "Ahhh. Much better."

The strange man woke up, blinked, stood, and…

_Moonwalking. He's moonwalking. I… what?_

...disappeared down the road.

"Strange." Nami said as she watched him go.

"Some kind of street performer?" I guessed, and Zoro began filling me in about the hypnotist who could get caught in his own tricks. The kids woke a bit later when Usopp began tearing towards town, expression grim.

"Captain?" One of the kids piped up curiously, and Zoro glanced over at the approaching figure.

"Luffy isn't with him?" he asked, shading his eyes. Nami hopped down off the fence where she had perched and frowned.

"It looks like he's still mad about the butler insulting his dad." She said, but the expression on his face wasn't quite right for that. He looked determined, angry, scared… and Luffy wasn't with him.

_Something happened._

"Shit." I growled, and took off.

"What the – Kai!" Nami yelled at me. I heard Zoro let loose a colorful expletive and charge after me.

"Do you know where you're going?" He asked when he caught up to me.

_Broken bushes, pieces of fabric, footprints_

"I can follow a trail." I answered, and barreled into the forest. It didn't take long before the trail ended at a cliff, and I skidded to a halt.

"Damnit where..." Zoro growled before looking over the cliff. I glanced over while he paled at the sight of our captain's ass in the air and his head planted on the ground below us.

"At least he's rubber." I said, and jumped off the cliff, falling headfirst. Zoro's frantic shout followed me all the way down before I flipped mid-air and hit the ground, knees bending to absorb the momentum before straightening back up. I looked up at Zoro and smiled. He _scowled_. "You coming down?" I called up to him, and he shot me a single-finger salute before beginning his own descent.

_Ahhh good times._

I stepped over to my captain, grabbing his knees and pulling, unfurling him. "Luffy. LUFFY!" He yawned, blinked a few times, and sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, Kai!" He said, and the thud of Zoro's boots informed me he had made it down.

"Luffy!" Nami exclaimed as she approached from a slightly different direction, the kids tagging along behind her like ducklings. I waved at her.

"He's fine. Luffy, what happened with Usopp?" I asked, crossing my arms as he brushed himself off. He frowned and shaded his eyes with his hat.

"We found out that the butler is actually a pirate." He said, and my brain went into overdrive, flipping through old bounty posters.

_**Gotcha.** _

"Captain Kuro, of the Black Cat Pirates. He was executed by the marines three years ago, but I suppose he faked his death instead." I said, curling my right hand into a fist and placing it in front of my mouth. I barely noticed Luffy's nod.

"He's going to attack the town and kill Miss Kaya." He informed us, and things began clicking into place.

 _Captain Kuro: 16,000,000 beli bounty, faked his death three years ago and pops up working as a butler for a rich sick girl, plans to attack the town and kill her but why... Her parents. I see._ My eyes flickered up to look at Luffy for a moment. _Usopp was running towards town._ I absently noted the kids leaving. _He was also with Luffy. It's safe to assume he heard this information as well. He plans to warn the town? But he's…_

"Kai, why are you just standing there?" Nami pulled me out of my thoughts and I uncrossed my arms sharply.

"How would you like to handle this, Captain?" I asked, and got a trio of strange looks. Nami scowled at me and planted her hands on her hips imperiously.

"What are you talking about? Usopp went to warn the town, so it'll be fine." She retorted, and I sighed before taking my sunglasses off to look them in the eyes.

"Usopp is also a well-known liar." I stated seriously. "You've seen it for yourself. Even though it's the truth, if he tries to warn the townspeople that pirates are attacking, they'll just think it's another of his stories and won't take him seriously." I explained as plainly as I could. Realization spread across Nami's face even as Zoro's eyes narrowed.

"Well fuck." He said flatly, and placed a hand on his swords. "So you're saying we have to deal with this ourselves." He summarized, and I nodded.

"Then let's do that." Luffy said seriously. "We can take those pirates out anytime." He stated confidently, and a smile broke out on his face.

"Like taking bait from a Sea King!" I chimed with a grin, and Nami introduced her fist to my face.

"THAT'S NOT EASY AT ALL!"

_Ow._

 

* * *

 

We walked back towards the town, but found Usopp first. He was seated by the fence, one arm behind his back and the other swiping at his eyes. The three kids were crowding around him.

"Yo, Usopp." I called out, waving briefly. He looked up and locked eyes with Luffy.

"Oh, it's you." He said casually, and his eyes bugged out seconds later as he did a double-take. "You aren't dead?" he queried, and I blinked.

"Dead? I just woke up!" Luffy said, frowning slightly in confusion. I exchanged a look of long-suffering with Zoro over his head.

_Thank god he's made of rubber._

"Anyway, captain!" one of the kids piped up. "We know everything. We have to tell everyone about the pirates!" He said earnestly, and Usopp's eyes gained a hunted look.

"Tell everyone?" He mumbled, and then threw back his head and laughed. "You should have known I was lying. I just really, really hate that butler, so I made up a story about him being a pirate." He lied brightly.

_Doesn't want the kids caught up in this. Smart._

"It was a story? I thought it was true!" Coward exclaimed hotly, and Onion glanced over at the four of us, confused.

"Why were you playing along with him?" He asked, before turning away without waiting for an answer.

"But… captain, you shouldn't do that." Coward said, and Courage nodded.

"Yeah! Even though the butler is mean, you shouldn't make up stories about someone like that." He said firmly, and Onion tugged on his sleeve.

"Let's go home." He said dejectedly.

"Yeah. I wonder what's for dinner?"

They marched off into town, and Usopp sighed before turning to us with an apologetic look on his face. I held up a hand to stop him from talking.

"We know the truth. The townspeople didn't believe you, did they." I stated, and he nodded, shoulders slumping.

"You're pretty smart to have figured it out that fast." He said, and leaned back against the fence. "Even though they don't believe me, that doesn't change anything. The pirates are going to come here tomorrow, and everyone thinks it'll just be another peaceful day." He said, and ran a hand over his bandanna. "So… I'm going to wait for those pirates to come, and I'll make sure that this whole thing is a lie!" His face twisted with determination, and I smiled despite myself. He pulled his arm out from behind him, and the smile disappeared at the sight of a still-bleeding gunshot wound. "I got shot in the arm and chased all over town, but this is still my home and I'm going to protect it!" He shouted, and I exchanged silent looks of agreement with Zoro and Luffy.

"You're a pretty good guy. You lied to your crew so you can do this alone." Zoro huffed, a hand resting casually on his swords.

"Kai! We're butting in on this fight." Luffy stated, stretching his arms in anticipation.

"Aye aye, Captain."

"First things first, all their treasure is mine." Nami said with a wink and a grin. Usopp just stared at us for a long moment, his jaw hanging open slightly.

"You're all willing to fight with me? Why?" He spluttered, and I grinned again.

"Because you're outnumbered." Luffy said seriously, and Zoro tilted his head to one side.

"And you have the words, 'I'm scared', written all over your face." He stated blandly.

"SCARED? ME? SO WHAT IF THEY OUTNUMBER ME! I'M CAPTAIN USOPP! IN MY VEINS FLOWS THE BLOOD OF A COURAGEOUS WARRIOR!" Usopp shouted fiercely, his knees knocking as he spoke. We looked at them pointedly. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? IT'S CAPTAIN KURO'S FLEET, OF COURSE I'M SCARED! I DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY, GO AWAY!" He shouted, and I sighed.

"We're not pitying you, we're commending your courage." Zoro told him sternly, and Luffy nodded.

"Why else would we risk our lives?" He asked, and Usopp began to cry somewhat manly tears.

"I'm so touched…" He sniffled, and I rolled my eyes.

"Touched is what you're going to be. Show me that wound." I ordered, and strong-armed him into letting me treat it.

"Do you always carry around bandages and tweezers?" Nami asked, and I nodded while tying off the bandage.

"Yeah." I said, and stood. Zoro stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned to face me.

"So what's our plan?" He asked, and Usopp leaned forward.

"They'll attack from the eastern shore." He stated, and I raised an eyebrow.

_What did he catch that I missed?_

"Oh? Why's that?"

"It's the only way into the village. There's only one path leading up, the rest is just cliffs." He said. "As long as we guard it, they won't get by us."

"That's a good plan!" Nami said, and Luffy and Zoro nodded right along with her.

… _really?_

"Ah." I nodded. "Shall I go get our equipment from our boats docked at the northern shore then?"

Nami put her head in her hands while Usopp colored with embarrassment.

"Crap, I forgot about that." He said, and I chuckled.

"Defending two different places shouldn't be too hard. You're a long range fighter, right?" I asked and his eyes widened dramatically.

"H-how did you know?" He stammered.

"Kai's very observant." Zoro broadly understated, and Luffy laughed. I smiled and got down to business.

"Is one of the ports closer to town than the other?" I asked, and Usopp shook his head. I hummed.

_Same distance to town from each, this one is closer to the town proper, but the northern one is closer to the mansion. I'm pretty sure the attack on the town is going to be used as a cover for attacking Kaya, but I'm still not sure which direction exactly they'll come from._

"We can cover the paths towards town with oil and fight from father uphill." Usopp contributed, and I shook myself out of my planning.

"Maybe. We should split into two groups, I think. Luffy and Zoro on one, myself and Usopp on the other. That way we have a long range fighter on either team." I said, drumming my fingers lightly against the knife at my hip.

"Eh? Long range fighter?" Usopp gave Luffy a once over as if looking for weapons, and I snorted.

"Captain is made of rubber. Literally." I informed him, and Usopp fixed me with a blank look.

"Liar."

"What-I'm not lying!" I denied vehemently while Luffy started laughing.

"Na, Usopp!" My captain said, and grabbed the sides of his face, stretching them farther than humanly possible. Usopp's eyes widened to the point I was worried they would fall out of his skull.

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

I couldn't help it, I laughed.

 

* * *

 

Preparations went smoothly after everything calmed down again. We decided Nami should wait at the halfway point, set up a rudimentary system of whistles to call back and forth, got dinner, picked up some of gear from my sea bag, and settled in to wait. Nami decided to wait with Usopp and I at the eastern shore, and Usopp took the first watch of the night. Nami took the second, then 'woke' me for the last shift. I let her shake me a bit before feigning wakefulness, and stood as she snuggled down into her blanket.

A few hours later, I woke them as the sun began to shade the fog-shrouded ocean in pinks and oranges. They dragged themselves awake and Nami trotted off to our pre-planned halfway mark. Usopp watched the horizon anxiously as the dawn rolled in, but no pirate flags presented themselves.

"Do you think they went north?" He asked, and I started to shrug before Nami's whistle hit my ears.

"Yes."

We ran.

 

* * *

 

 

We arrived to a scene of carnage. The weird guy that had been lying in the road with the three munchkins was there, wearing a captain's coat and standing in the middle of a bunch of collapsed pirates. Usopp ground to a halt next to Luffy and goggled.

"I had no idea you guys were this strong!" He exclaimed, and Luffy grinned at him.

"They're pretty weak!" He said, and I blinked at the sight of some of the pirates below us getting to their feet.

"Oi, they're still up." I pointed, and the strange guy in the captain's coat pulled out a chakram on a string and began swaying it.

"What's he doing?" Luffy asked, and Nami's eyes went wide.

"Hypnotism! He's trying to make them think they're stronger!" She exclaimed, and I growled as the hypnotist began counting.

"ONE!"

I _moved,_ flinging myself down the hill at full speed.

"TWO!"

I halted in front of the hypnotist, turning my momentum into a spin, and roundhouse kicked him in the stomach.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Nami screamed as the man flew backwards, and I lunged after him. I cocked my fist, grinned, and let fly. The man's sunglasses crunched under my fist and he lost consciousness. I straightened and cracked my neck.

"Maaaaaaan he was weak." I complained loudly, and Luffy laughed while Nami and Usopp just _stared_.

"They're _all_ weak." Zoro complained right back at me, and began walking down to meet me while the remaining upright pirates back off.

"At least there are a lot of them!" I beamed, and Luffy laughed behind us.

"WHAT THE HELL? HOW DID YOU MOVE SO FAST?" Usopp shrieked at me finally.

"Kai's a vampire!" I heard Luffy state with all the authority of an idiot.

_For the love of – I'm not a vampire._

"What, really!?"

"NO!"

_Thank you, Nami._

I decided I would ignore the stupidity going on behind me, and took the moment to check out the Black Cat's ship. It was pretty large, with two masts and five sails. Their figurehead was a black cat's head, and I smirked as Zoro planted his feet beside me.

"I'm trying to figure out if these guys sailed through a pet store or if they're this stupid looking on _purr_ pose _._ " I punned at him, rolling the 'R's lovingly. He raised an eyebrow at me. I grinned. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"It's not a good time for jokes right _meow._ " He deadpanned.

I curled over in half from laughing.

"Oi, Buuuchi! Come look at this! Someone beat Captain Jango!" Someone cried from aboard the ship, and the answering cry of "What? How?" had Zoro unsheathing his white katana in preparation for a fight. The pirate flunkies in front of us gave us smug grins that melted when I straightened, still laughing, and got into a fighting stance.

"Ah-ha, haha, haaaaa. Hoooo. Alright." I calmed down and grinned at the mooks. "So who's that on board your ship?" I asked, and one of the braver ones spoke up.

"Our ship's guards, the Nyaban brothers." He said with an 'I know something you don't' smirk.

"Nyaban…?" I echoed, and my unasked question was answered by the arrival of a very skinny man and a very fat man, both wearing cat ears and gloves tipped with claws. They hit the ground rather heavily and stared at their captain, then at us.

"You beat up the captain?" One asked, and I _beamed_ at them.

"Sure did!" This was accompanied by a wave. The man who had given me the smirk earlier didn't seem very impressed by my enthusiasm.

"Buchi, Sham, We couldn't get past these guys. The kid in the straw hat in the back is like a rubber band, and this one," here he pointed at me, "is incredibly fast. He knocked Captain Jango out in two hits!"

The thin catman began freaking out at this. "What? How can we… Buchi, we can't beat them." He stammered, and the fat catman began sweating right along with him.

"Ahhh, so you're weaklings then?" I asked brightly, and glanced over at Zoro. "Oi, Pirate Hunter, which one do you want?" He tapped his sword against his shoulder, evaluating the two of them.

"Pirate Hunter?" Buchi echoed, face turning a shade paler.

"Both of them." Zoro said serenely, and drew his two remaining swords.

"Hog all the fun, why don't you."

 

* * *

 

"You know, I thought this would be a lot harder." Usopp commented from his perch atop the cliff while watching Nami steal everything she could from the Black Cat Pirates. I toed one of the pirates that had been thrown into a pile and sighed.

"That was boring to watch." I complained at Zoro. "You took them out in one hit. Luffy already punched out the weak ones again, and Jango is still unconscious. I don't have anyone left to fight!" The swordsman sighed and slung an arm around my shoulders in a comradely manner. "Easy fights are the worst. It's like these guys weren't even try-hurk!" The arm around my shoulders bent around my neck and Zoro tugged my head under his arm and began to grind his fist into my skull while I struggled to get him off me.

"Boring to watch? It was boring to do. Stop complaining." He ordered.

"G-wha-urk-stoppit-getoff!"

_Please, please let there be an inn in town because I am absolutely making the boys take showers tonight._

"You know," someone said from near the top of the path, "I was wondering why my plan wasn't being carried out." Zoro stopped knuckling my head but didn't let go of me. I craned my neck to look at Captain Kuro, grumbling under my breath at Zoro the whole time. Kuro stared down at us, and I imagine it was quite the sight.

"Oh! You're that evil butler!" Luffy said, clapping a fist into his palm. Zoro let go of me, and I got out of arms reach quickly before frowning up at Kuro, who ignored us all.

"Jango!" He called, and the hypnotist I'd knocked out stirred, slowly blinked at the carnage surrounding him, and gaped.

"C-c-captain!" He stuttered, voice cracking on the last syllable. Kuro pinned him with a glare.

"What the hell happened? How come you weren't on time?" He hissed, and Jango shivered.

"I'm sorry captain, but these kids are dangerous!" He got to his feet with a wobble, and backed up as Kuro pushed his glasses up.

"More dangerous than me?"

"Well, no, but I got knocked out early by that one." He pointed a finger at me. I waved at Kuro. Kuro glanced me over, focusing on my knife and eyes.

"You look familiar." He said, and I plastered a fake smile onto my face.

"Zehra 'Godhand' Kai, not at your service. I've got a small bounty, active as of two years ago." I said conversationally, and the fake butler's eyes narrowed at the information. Jango, for his part, looked shocked from what I could tell.

"I wasn't aware that you were a Captain, Godhand." Kuro replied, pushing his glasses up again. I kept up my fake grin.

"Oh, that's because I'm not. Luffy is." I pointed at the man in question, and dropped my fake smile for a perfectly blank expression. "And he's the one who'll beat you."

"Beat me?" Kuro scoffed, and disappeared –

_What the he-_

\- only to reappear in the form of multiple blades caressing my skin from all angles _(Throat chest arms hips leg),_ warmth against my back that **was not there** a second ago, and a voice in my ear -

"He won't even _see_ me."

"KAI!" Luffy yelled, and Zoro made a jerky motion towards his swords that was aborted when Kuro tilted my head back with the blade at my throat. I felt warmth roll down my neck _**Blood**_ and tilted my head back to give me room to breathe, staring at the top of the forest.

"KLAHADORE! STOP!" I heard a girl scream, and I felt Kuro look over towards the path.

"Miss Kaya. How surprising. What are you doing here?" He asked, sounding perfectly bland, as if he normally was found getting ready to cut people to ribbons by young ladies on a daily basis. I gritted my teeth and glanced down in a futile attempt to get a look at my left hand. My mind started racing.

_If I could get to my ring! Can't though. Blade at neck is highest priority, need space to get my guard up. Timing is going to have to be perfect. Wait for it._

"Merry told me everything." Kaya panted, clearly out of breath. Kuro sighed, and I felt his breath ghost across my ear.

"Oh? He didn't die? I didn't show him any mercy." He said conversationally, and one of the blades on my chest sawed back and forth. I felt blood well up, and Zoro _snarled._

"I… That's enough!" Kaya yelled frantically. "I'll give you all the money you want, just leave!" A blade resting against my leg pressed harder and I let out a hiss.

_There's maybe a foot between his body and mine, if I can exploit that when he's distracted..._

"I'm not just after money, Miss Kaya. I also want to live peacefully. I spent three years here gaining people's trust just for that reason. That's why having my crew attack the village and forcing you to name me in your will is essential." Kuro explained, voice glacially calm. "Everything I've done for you, everything we've done together, all of it was so that I can kill you today. Do you understand how demeaning it was for me, a former captain, to serve a naïve little girl for the sole purpose of making her like me?" Kuro continued, and I heard Kaya begin to sob.

"YOU BASTARD!" Usopp screamed. Kuro took a step forward at the remark and _that's what I was waiting for._ My right arm shot up to guard my neck while my left hand grabbed his wrist and **shoved** , _PAIN: right forearm and bicep sliced, right chest and torso, right leg cut badly,_ and then I was on my knees and Kuro was between Usopp and Kaya at the top of the path.

"Usopp. I still haven't properly thanked you for the punch you gave me last time." He hissed, face twisting menacingly just before Luffy's fist plowed straight into it.

"Well if its thanks we'll get, I'll just have you punch you a few hundred times!" My captain said, grin wide and eyes fierce as he tracked Kuro's arc towards the ground. My own view of it was ruined by Zoro planting himself in front of me and heaving me to my feet a touch to quickly, my injured leg giving out slightly and causing me to stumble forward against his chest. To my surprise, he just… stopped moving, hands halting halfway up to help me balance, eyes wide, staring at me with the strangest look on his face.

_What? What's that look for?_

Zoro pushed me upright, immediately letting go as if I were on fire.

That's when Usopp's kiddos arrived and began beating on Kuro with shovels and frying pans. Usopp started yelling at the kids to run away, and they stopped hitting Kuro after a minute, much to Usopp's delight. Kuro stood up, ignored the kids, and kicked Usopp halfway down the path after that, much to his dismay.

"I'm a bit curious about that odd attack you used on me." He informed Luffy. "It was a Devil Fruit, correct?"

"Yup! I'm a rubberman!" My captain said, and Jango gaped.

"So the rubber arm stretching wasn't an illusion?" Jango stammered.

"Jango!" Kuro got the hypnotist's attention. "I'll take care of this kid. You handle Miss Kaya. Make her write the will and then kill her. Also, the three brats back there are irritating." He made it sound like a shopping list.

"Got it." His flunky said, and started up the hill.

"I WON'T LET YOU!" Usopp shouted, recovering from the kick Kuro delivered in time to scramble between Kaya and the approaching hypno. "USOPP'S PIRATES!" He called, and the three kids straightened to attention. "I'm giving you the most important task. Get Kaya away from here! Protect her with your life!" The kids ran off, Jango blew past Usopp, and the longnose charged after all of them. We watched them leave, and Zoro huffed.

"What?" I questioned, and he shook his head.

_Seriously, what? I don't know why you're being so strange right now!_

"Jeez, what happened to you guys?" Nami popped up next to us, a huge sack slung across her back. Zoro glanced over at me accusingly, and I glared in response.

"Hey, it wasn't my plan to get turned into sashimi, so don't give me that look." I snapped, and Nami's eyes got wide as she glanced over at Luffy and Kuro squaring off.

"That guy," she pointed at Kuro, "did _that?"_ she gestured up and down at me and I groaned.

"I can't _see_ him move. He's faster than me." I grumbled.

I'm not sure why that statement seemed to fill her with dread.

"He's WHAT?"

"Enough. Kai, go patch yourself up." He said wearily, and began making his way over to the cliff. "Oi, Luffy, I'm going after Usopp. That alright?"

"Go ahead!"

Nami tugged me over to the boats, and I got started on wrapping myself up with her help.

_I've got to stop getting injured in fights._


	7. Getting Settled In

Nami cleaned and bandaged my throat and arm wounds before leaving me to tend to my chest and leg injuries in the small cabin on her ship. I peeled off my tattered shirt carefully and winced as the motion stretched the edges of the cuts painfully. The ruined shirt dropped to the floor and I examined my new wounds with a scowl, probing the edges gently.

_Well that's just wonderful. Almost cut straight through my bindings, and that damn stab wound is bleeding again._

I sighed and got to work, cleaning, and wrapping the slice under my breasts after replacing my bindings. I chuckled to myself as I absently noted that I wouldn't need a shirt due to my entire torso being covered in strips of white cloth. At that though, I moved on to the newly re-opened stab wound, which was thankfully un-infected so far as I could tell, and cast another mournful gaze at the red shirt at my feet.

_It was a nice one too._

I had a bit of a surprise when I moved to unbuckle my belt and it fell apart in my hands, my trench knife sheath falling on the ground with a clatter. I stared blankly at my now loose black pants and then closed my eyes with a sigh, mentally shelving the problem for the time being. The wound on my leg was tougher than the others, more of a gouge than a slice, and I packed extra squares of gauze over it before wrapping it tightly. I had just finished pulling my pants back up when Nami knocked on the cabin door.

"Gimme a second!" I hollered, frowning at the way my pants threatened to slide straight off my hips.

_And if I touch any of Nami's things, she'll have my head on a platter. Sorry new shirt, it was fun while it lasted._

The now-ruined new shirt was sacrificed to the gods of necessity, becoming a long strip of red fabric that looped twice around my waist before I tied it off, the loose ends hanging off to one side. I stuffed my knife into it and gathered up the remains of the shirt and the old bandages before opening the cabin door. Nami looked me over and bit her lip before handing me…

_Oh. That's…thoughtful of her._

"For me? Thank you, Nami. You really are a sweetheart." I grinned, and she held out a paper sack for me to put the soiled linens in. I did so, and slid into the dark blue button up shirt she had scrounged for me. She sniffed when I didn't bother to actually button it, and after her eyes flickered over my chest, marched off to dispose of the trash. I snorted a laugh.

_What goods do you think you're checking out, exactly?_

I stretched, wincing as my wounds twanged, and stepped back onto solid ground. I spotted my captain lying spread eagled on the ground a fair distance away from an out-cold Kuro, and walked over to stand next to him.

"He got you too, huh?" I noted, crouching down. He was bleeding underneath his vest, had multiple cuts and gashes across his arms, along with a few nicks on his face. His eyes opened, dark and steady, focused on the bandages circling my neck.

"Yeah. He was annoying." The _A real bastard_ and _He didn't fight fair_ went unsaid.

I chuckled softly and ruffled his hair. "Yeah. He was." I replied. Luffy's eyes shifted to my arm and he reached up to touch the bandages there carefully. His expression didn't shift, but considering I'd never seen him treat anything so delicately except for his hat, it was easy to guess at his thought process.

"I wasn't worried." I told him, and he smiled up at me, mood broken.

"I know!"

Footsteps behind me heralded Nami's approach. "Honestly, you two." She huffed, but I caught a smile lurking around the corners of her mouth as I turned to face her. She was holding another roll of bandages and a first aid kit. The smile crept out as she shook her head. "You really are something else, Luffy." She said fondly.

"Ah? But I'm Luffy. How can I be anything else?" He responded, brow furrowed in confusion, and I laughed.

"Don't worry about it. Luffy is Luffy." I assured him, and got to work getting him out of his vest. Nami helped out, and we started bandaging his injuries. By the time Zoro wandered along, Nami was finishing up and I was flat on my back, soaking up the sunshine.

"Zoro!" Luffy crowed, and the swordsman's step hitched slightly when his gaze landed on what was visible of my bandaged chest beneath my shirt.

_It's not as bad as it looks, stop worrying._

"Luffy." He said, recovering smoothly. He unbuckled the strap around his sword scabbards and took a seat next to me. I caught him glance me over again while leaning the blades against his shoulder and snorted at him.

"Zoro, I'm fine, no need to be a mother hen. You beat Jango?" I asked, and his shoulders tensed before relaxing again, and he shook his head with a grin.

"Didn't have to. Usopp took care of him." He said and leaned over to cock an eyebrow at me. "Also, who's a mother hen?" His tone was growly, but he was smirking so I counted it a win.

_Whatever it was earlier, it seems like he's over it._

"He did? That's impressive." Nami said as she tied off the last bandage and sat back on her heels with an honest smile.

"Not bad for his first real fight." I nodded.

Luffy grinned brighter than the sun before wriggling around to put his head next to mine. "I like Usopp." He stated simply, and I closed my eyes and smiled, tilting my head over to rest my cheek against the top of his head.

"Aa." I agreed contentedly. Nami giggled. I cracked an eye open and glanced at her over Luffy's head. "Happy, Nami?" I asked lazily, and she smiled again.

"Yep! We beat the bad guys and Usopp saved the princess!" She chirped, and I tried to imagine Usopp with his long nose and curly hair in a suit of armor.

"So Usopp is playing the gallant knight?" I drawled, and grinned. "I can see him becoming that someday."

"What, really?"

All of us looked over at the man in question. He had leaves sticking out of his hair, a few cuts littered on his arms, and was bleeding from a head wound. He was also staring at me with wide eyes.

"You've got potential. Could do with a bit of seasoning, but that's nothing that won't come with life." I told him honestly. He looked touched. "I'll admit, I wasn't really impressed at first," He looked insulted, "but you've really put your life on the line to keep your town safe. That's more than most would do." I pointed out, and he looked touched again. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly before taking the compliment for what it was.

"Thanks. I mean, if it weren't for you guys, the town wouldn't be safe." He said, and Zoro snorted.

"The hell are you talking about? If you hadn't done anything, I wouldn't have either." He said, and Luffy nodded, hair rubbing against my face.

"Same." He stated, and Usopp's jaw dropped slightly.

"It doesn't matter, I got all their treasure anyway." Nami beamed at him, and the longnose regained his composure.

"At any rate, I've made a decision." He said. I perked up and levered myself up with my good elbow, hand pressing against my stomach.

"Oh?" Luffy questioned.

"I've decided I'm going to be a pirate!"

_Ahhhh. I see that look, Captain. You really are troublesome._

 

* * *

 

_Troublesome is… putting it mildly._

I stared across the table in an awed silence, watching Luffy's fingers dive down his throat in their quest to find the thing that was causing him distress. It wasn't a pretty sight.

After Usopp had left, we had headed back into town. Nami bought herself some clothes, I found an inn and kicked Zoro and Luffy into the shower, and did some clothes shopping of my own. We decided to go back to Mushi Restaurant, and had eaten until we couldn't anymore. That was when Luffy started choking on something and went mouth fishing for it.

Tears were streaming down his face by the time he pulled a piece of fishbone out of his throat. "Phew! I got it!" He glared at the offending item.

_How the hell did you get that stuck in your throat? Did you just swallow the whole fish when I wasn't looking?_

"Idiot. Your throat isn't trained enough to handle fishbones." Zoro put in his two cents, and I gave him a blank look.

"I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with **training**." I deadpanned. Nami sighed and held up her own fish, showing Luffy the head, spine, and tail.

"This is what is supposed to be left over when you eat fish." She lectured. Luffy put the fishbone back in his mouth and started to chew. Zoro ignored it like a pro.

"Well, the food was good, but we should leave now." He said, and Luffy nodded.

"Right, right."

"Oh, so this is where you all were!" I heard a voice say, and glanced up to see none other than Kaya walk around the corner of our booth.

_She looks healthier, she not quite as pale as she was. She certainly seems more energetic than I remember._

"Hello, miss!" Luffy grinned wide and waved. Nami, for her part, looked worried.

"I thought you were on bed rest!" Nami exclaimed, and Kaya smiled brightly.

"Nope!" She said, and her smile dimmed a bit. "I've been sick for a year, but ever since I lost my parents, Usopp encouraged me. So I can't just lay around anymore!" She said, and her smile returned full force. "Anyway, I remember you were asking about a ship?" She said, and Luffy's smile went mega-watt.

"A ship! You're gonna give us one?"

"Yep! Come see!"

 

* * *

 

As we cleared the woods the most beautiful sight graced our eyes. She was a two masted-ship made of solid wood, with white trim, a white main sail, a red-and-white-striped aft sail, a fore _and_ aft-castle, and a ram's head figurehead.

"A caravel!" Nami exclaimed, clapping her hands together. Luffy's jaw dropped and he whooped while Zoro made a pleased sound. I whistled my own appreciation, and ambled up to it. A man in a butler outfit with hair like a sheep's was standing in front of our new vessel.

"I'm the one who designed this ship. It might look old, but it's a popular style. It uses a staysail, and the controls are in the back." He said, and I reached up to touch the wood, a smile on my face.

"Oi, what's her name?" I asked, and the sheep man grinned at me.

"She's called 'Going Merry!" He replied proudly.

"It's a good name." I said, stroking the wooden planks.

"So you're the ones who helped Usopp beat the Black Cat Pirates?" He asked. "I thought you'd be a little older…" He said, sounding embarrassed. Luffy just laughed and pumped his fists in the air.

"We can really take this?" He asked Kaya, excited like a puppy with a bone. I walked over to our tiny ship and collected my sea bag.

"Yes, I insist!" She said with a happy smile. The butler began an explanation of the steering system to Luffy, and I was grateful when Nami took over.

_Note to self: Luffy isn't allowed to steer without supervision._

"This is a cool ship!" He said, and bounced up to Kaya.

"I'm glad you like it! I went ahead and had it loaded with everything you could need for a long voyage." She said, and his eyes shone.

"Thanks for causing all this trouble!" He said.

"You mean 'going through' all this trouble." Zoro corrected him swiftly. I was halfway up the side of the ship when a loud, girlish scream emanated from the path leading to the shore. I twisted around and saw a rotund sack bouncing off the ground, a human figure attached to it.

"What the… Oh. It's Usopp." I said calmly.

"What's he doing?" Luffy asked, head tilted to one side.

"Rolling?" I offered with a shrug.

"Who cares, just stop him before he hits the boat." Zoro said, and he and Luffy stepped forward, legs raised.

**WHAM**

"Thanks…" Usopp mumbled into the soles of their shoes. Luffy stared at him.

"You're welcome." He said seriously.

My shoulders shook with laughter as I finished climbing aboard. I took my first few steps onto the ship and looked around, stretching.

_I am never going to stop grinning._

"Stay healthy! We'll meet again if fate wills it!" I heard Usopp call up from the shore even as Luffy snapped himself over the railing. Zoro was up a moment later, a sack of Nami's treasure in his hand. Nami came up after him, a sack in her arms as well. Luffy leaned over the railing to look at Usopp.

"Why?" He asked, and I grinned.

_Usopp, you don't stand a chance._

"What are you asking? Both of us are pirates, so we'll meet again on the sea." Usopp replied, and Zoro leaned over the railing and _glared._

"Shut up and get on board." He commanded, pointing at our ship. I joined him at the railing and beamed.

"You're one of us, aren't you?" Luffy called down, and I nodded. Usopp's eyes grew misty before he gave a mighty yell and began dancing.

"I'm the captain, right?" He exclaimed.

"DON'T BE STUPID! I'M THE CAPTAIN!" Luffy shouted down at him, and they started arguing.

"Oi, oi, you two. Usopp, you remember what I said, yea? Just get your stuff and get on board already." I called down with a laugh, and left the railing in favor of finding Nami. "We have everything on board?" I asked her, and she shook her head.

"I still have to get some more stuff from my boat." She said, and I glanced over my shoulder at Luffy helping Usopp get on board.

_Well, I say help, but…_

Usopp crash landed on the deck, courtesy of Luffy's rubber limbs. "Ahh, the Rocket Express." I teased, and reached down to give Usopp a hand up. He stood a bit shakily and gave Luffy a wary look.

"He does that a lot?" He asked under his breath.

"You have _no_ idea." I replied. He blanched.

After a few more minutes of hauling, we had everything secured, and were taking off. Usopp waved until we couldn't see Kaya anymore.

"Oi, let's break out the booze!" I grinned, tossing a thumb at the door behind and to the left of me on the upper level of the aft-castle.

"GREAT IDEA!" Luffy's arms stretched to grab the railing in front of me and rocketed. His barreling charge caused my hair to ruffle wildly, and I grinned before trotting in after him.

"Woah, this is a niiice galley!" I exclaimed as I tested out the fancy fluffy couch in the little sitting area connected to the kitchen.

_Ahhh. Heaven._

Zoro strolled in as I splayed myself across the amazingly comfortable piece of furniture and laughed. "Getting comfortable?" He asked, moving to stand behind my head. I tilted my chin and looked up at him from under my lashes with a smirk.

"Oh yeah." I dragged the words out, or attempted to. Luffy careened over the side of the couch and planted himself at the other end of the couch, one of my legs hooked over his shoulder and the other in his lap.

"Kai, c'mon! Let's go drink!" He said, hands drumming against my calf. I laughed and went through some contortions in order to stand.

"Alright, let's go. Bring enough for Usopp and Nami!" I reminded, and loped over to the kitchen to search for drinking mugs while Luffy roped Zoro into helping him carry the ale cask. I found them by the refrigerator, and grabbed five before heading back out to the deck. We filled them to the top with ale and lifted them into the air.

"To a new ship and a new crew member!" Luffy toasted with a yell. We clanked the mugs together and chugged. Zoro and I finished first, Nami a close second. Luffy was after her, and Usopp finished last.

 

* * *

 

We spent a good hour exploring the ship. The room directly below the main mast was the men's room, complete with hammocks, a comfortable couch and table, a few storage chests, liquor and water barrels and a laundry set. The storage room was set directly below the galley, and was filled well, storage. In the back of the room was a door leading to a bathroom, and to the left of the bathroom door was a hatch leading down into a beautiful room that Nami quickly claimed. The forecastle contained the anchor room, which doubled as the cleaning supply storage. It also had a few lifesavers, racks for weapon storage, and a lot of rope. It also contained the forward cannon and some Huge Oars.

And then Luffy got into Usopp's art supplies.

 

* * *

**One Hour Later**

* * *

 

"OUR PIRATE FLAG IS FINISHED!" Luffy proclaimed, holding up his creation like a proud parent. I felt a muscle under my eye twitch. "I've put a lot of thought into this, and so this is our Jolly Roger!" Luffy crowed.

The rest of us _stared_.

_I don't know what that's supposed to be._

Usopp was the first to recover. "You…" He sighed, " _really_ suck at art."

"Maybe it's supposed to be abstract?" Nami rubbed her chin with a thoughtful frown.

"A pirate's flag should be a symbol of death but this is… Well… it's definitely scary." Zoro intoned while staring into middle distance.

"Well? How is it?" Luffy asked, grin wide and bright.

_That's it, I've had enough, I don't want to play anymore._

"I'm going to set myself on fire now." I announced calmly, and produced a lighter from one of my pockets.

Zoro tackled me to the deck.

"You really don't know how to draw. Let me show you how it's done…" I heard Usopp's voice rise over the sounds of Zoro and I wrestling.

 

* * *

**A Half Hour Later**

* * *

 

"Ta-DAH!" Usopp beamed, holding up a well-drawn pirate flag.

Zoro punched him in the back of the head. "You drew your own symbol."

"Ouch! Alright, alright!"

"Usopp, why don't you hang that one above your hammock?" I suggested from my prone position on the deck. The longnose perked up.

"Good idea!"

"It's better than his last one." Zoro snarked, flipping the lighter he'd stolen from me in the air before catching it.

I tackled him to the deck.

"If you're going to roughhouse, can you at least move away from the paints…?"

 

* * *

**A Half Hour Later**

* * *

 

"There! It's done!" Usopp said. I glanced over at it.

"You're _really_ good at drawing, Usopp!" I complimented, and released Zoro's hand from where it was twisted up against his back. He let go of the wrist he had pinned to the deck, I twisted my leg to untrap his, and he pushed himself into a kneeling position before turning to look at Usopp's finished product.

"Nice. It looks _totally_ different from Luffy's." He said, and his eyes cut sideways to where our captain's first creative monstrosity was still crumpled. He stood and reached down to give me a hand up.

"Oh, that looks _much_ better." Nami said from the top floor of the aftcastle, sounding relieved. I brushed myself off while Luffy grinned, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Let's draw it on the sail!" He cheered, and Usopp glowed at the praise, crossing his arms confidently, paintbrush held loosely in one hand. It dripped onto his overalls.

_I'm calling that pose 'Usopp Story Time Pose Number One'._

"Ever since I was young, I painted on people's walls. I have gained much skill in the Arts…" He began, and I grinned.

"Ah, good old fashioned vandalism."

He chased me around the ship with the paintbrush.

"Can we paint the sails now?"

 

* * *

**One Hour Later**

* * *

 

Eventually we got around to painting the design on the sails. By the time we were done, Zoro had a streaks of black and red in his hair, Luffy's face was liberally splattered with yellow, and my clothes had Luffy's hand prints all over them in all different colors. The only two of us who escaped relatively unscathed were Usopp, who was actually quite skillful with a paintbrush, and Nami, who none of us dared to get paint on. I grinned and leaned back against the lower aftcastle, one hand over my stomach and the other palm up at my side. Luffy and Zoro were descending the masts, their mission to tie the flags on complete. Luffy decided he didn't want to climb anymore and rocketed down.

"Someone looks happy." Nami leaned over the railing and teased. I grinned back up at her.

"Oh? Anyone I know?" I called back, and she stuck her tongue out at me impishly.

"OKAY!" Luffy shouted happily, "The Going Merry is complete!" And with those words, it really felt like this ship was our new home. Zoro dropped the last few feet from the mast and made his way over to sit beside me while Usopp lay flat on the other side of the deck.

"Home sweet home." I said what I knew was a stupid happy smile stretched across my lips. Zoro glanced over at me and chuckled before leaning his head back to rest it against the sun-warmed planks.

**KA-BOOOOOOOM!**

From seated to standing in one second flat wasn't a bad time. The panicked yelp was the icing on the cake though. When Zoro located the cause of the disturbance, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

_The migraines are going to be killer._

"What are you doing?" He slowly asked Luffy. Our captain shaded his eyes with his hand as he looked over the starboard bow.

"Practicing shooting the cannon." A pause. "Apparently I'm really bad at it."

I glanced over to see what he had been aiming at, and saw a tall outcropping of rock _eh, roughly_ two leagues away. Usopp got to his feet and took a look at said rock.

"Let me take a look at that." He hipchecked Luffy out of the way and started fussing with the cannon.

"Shoot that island!" Luffy ordered, pointing at the rock imperatively. Usopp's eyes narrowed. I got up and wandered over next to him to watch from the railing.

"Okay… it should be right around here…" Usopp muttered, and fired.

The entire top half of the rock exploded.

"Nice shot." I complimented, and reached over to push his jaw closed with a single finger.

"You're AWESOME! Only one shot and you hit it!" Luffy crowed ecstatically.

Usopp was still staring in unbelief at the former island. "Only one shot?" He repeated faintly. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Is that a statement or a question?"

He shook himself, and planted his hands on his hips. "See? I'm very good at aiming. If you want, from now on you can call me 'Captain'." He said.

_That was funny at first, but it needs to stop._

"Pass." I replied blankly, and Luffy laughed while I walked away.

"From now on, you're our sniper!" He said, and Usopp slumped. I got halfway up the stairs to the galley before Luffy noticed where I was heading and trotted after me.

"Sniper huh…?" Usopp said to himself, still mulling it over as we stepped into the galley. "Alright. I guess I can settle for that for the time being. But if you ever chicken out from your duties, I'll take charge as ship's captain." He bargained, taking a seat at the table.

"Alright, fine." Luffy answered carelessly, flopping down next to him, across from Nami. Zoro glanced up from his spot on the floor next to the wall and frowned. I fell back onto the couch along the back wall and hummed a few bars from an old tune I half-remembered.

"That reminds me!" Luffy suddenly sat up straight in his seat. "We still need one more crew member before we head to Grand Line!"

Nami smiled and stopped writing in what I assumed was the travel log. "That's right! We do have this fantastic kitchen after all." She said, and set down her pen to make an 'ok' sign with her fingers. "Of course, I could do it as long as I get paid." She said, and I suddenly had a vision of us being horribly in debt to Nami.

"I'll handle it until we find someone." I cut in, and she pouted.

"You?"

I sat up, elbows on my knees, and shot Zoro a _look._ "I'm not the greatest, but it'll just be until we get someone else to do it full time."

"Better find someone fast then." He nodded sagely, and I the only reason I didn't tackle him was because he was right next to the ale casks. "They're an indispensable crew member for long voyages."

"You think so too?" Luffy beamed at him. "Yup, a pirate crew really needs a musician!"

There was a long silence.

"ARE YOU RETARDED?"  
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO SAY SOMETHING SMART FOR ONCE!"  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK BEING A PIRATE IS ABOUT?"  
"B-but real pirates sing!"

I put my face in my hands and sighed as everyone began arguing and yelling over the top of one another.

_**CRUNCH! BANG!** _

" **COME ON OUT, YOU DAMN PIRATES! I'M GONNA SLAUGHTER YOU ALL!"**

_We're being attacked? ALREADY?_

Luffy was missing, and the galley door was swinging shut. I blinked.

_Fast._

Zoro reached over and picked up his white sword while Nami and Usopp peeked out the galley porthole. Crashing sounds came from outside, along with inarticulate yelling.

_Luffy's voice, and… only one other voice that I can't identify. We're being attacked by one person?_

I heard the sound of wood breaking and frowned.

"They better not be breaking the ship. We _just_ got it." I complained. Zoro put a hand on the white sword resting against the wall next to him.

"How many people are attacking us?" He asked Usopp and Nami. The two of them had migrated to the porthole looking out over the deck.

"Just one." Nami and I replied at the same time. Zoro raised an eyebrow and sat back against the wall.

"One person is attacking a pirate ship." He restated.

"Yea. He's got sunglasses… and I think he's got a tattoo on his face?" Usopp's nose was pressed up against the glass.

"What… damnit. Those idiots." Zoro grumbled, stood, and walked out.

"Oi, Johnny!"

_He knows this guy?_

Curious, I stood and stepped out to watch. True enough, it was a guy wearing sunglasses, a tattoo, clothes similar to my normal ones, wielding a sword. He was also gawking at Zoro.

"Zoro! Is that really you, bro?"

_Bro?_

Zoro ignored the question and folded his arms across his chest, one eyebrow raised. "Where's Yosaku? Isn't he usually with you?"

"He's sick!"

I grimaced. Sickness on the ocean was not a good thing. It wasn't like there were normally doctors floating about, and in close quarters diseases spread dangerously fast.

"Since you're friends with Zoro, we'll help you out! Where's your sick friend?" Luffy asked.

 

* * *

 

We got the sick one on board and laid him on the deck. I took one look at him and felt a headache coming on.

"Nami, please explain to these idiots what scurvy is. I'm going to go make some lemon juice." I said, and she sighed.

"Scurvy?" Everyone else asked.

 

* * *

 

I tilted the sick man's head and began pouring lemon juice into his mouth, stroking his throat to get him to swallow. Johnny and Zoro hovered behind me.

"So he's really going to get better, bro?" Johnny leaned over while I worked. I shot him a glare.

"If he rests and gets enough vitamin C, yes. And don't call me bro." I said, getting up to put the now-empty tankard back. I made it half a step away before the man who I had been pouring juice into popped to his feet like a spring.

"YOSH! I'M CHARGED UP AND READY FOR ACTION!" He screamed, jumping up and down.

"HAHAA! MY PARTNER IS ALL BETTER!" Johnny jumped right along with him. Nami's temper snapped.

"LIKE HELL HE RECOVERED THAT FAST!" She screeched, and the idiots kept jumping and shouting. I felt a vein pulse in my forehead.

" **SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN BEFORE YOU COLLAPSE AGAIN YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"** I bellowed, and flung the tankard at their heads.

_**GGOOOONNNNGGGG!** _

Usopp took a long step away from me. "S-scary…"

 

* * *

 

"Sorry for the late introductions." The two idiots said after everyone had calmed down, postures mirroring one another as they stood by the railing. "The name's Johnny." Johnny said unnecessarily. His partner lit up a cigarette.

"And I'm Yosaku. We used to be bounty hunter partners with Zoro. It's nice to meet you all." He said, and blew out a cloud of smoke. "I don't know how to repay you. I thought I was a goner for sure."

"You can repay me by putting out that cigarette. You're still sick, dumbass." I snapped from where I was leaning against the mast. Yosaku hurriedly flicked it over his shoulder into the ocean.

"Who would have thought that the infamous 'Pirate Hunter' Zoro would become a pirate himself?" Johnny said teasingly, and Zoro snorted.

Yosaku decided this was an excellent time to collapse again.

"YOSAKU!"

" **JUST SHUT UP AND GET SOME REST ALREADY!"** It was Zoro's turn to bellow.

 

* * *

 

"Let that be a lesson to the rest of you." Nami lectured after we got Yosaku situated in one of the hammocks below deck.

"Yeah. I had no idea people could get sick so easily." Zoro mused aloud, earning a long stare from both myself and Nami.

"He would have died for sure if they hadn't come across us." Usopp stated, and I grunted.

"We need to find a cook anyway. Like I said, I can do it short term, but we need someone to come up with dietary plans and keep track of the food stores." I told Luffy, and he nodded.

"Let's go find a cook then! I want to eat lots of yummy food!" He grinned at the thought of food. Johnny, who had been sitting quietly while we talked, sprang to his feet and raised his hand in the air.

"Zo-bro!" He exclaimed, getting the swordsman's attention. "If you're looking for a chef, I can recommend a place to look, but I'm not sure if anyone will join you or not." He said, and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well?" I prompted, and he grinned.

"A restaurant ship, the Baratie." He said, and the others lit up with excitement. "From here, it should take us two or three days to get there. We'll have to be careful though, it's close to Grand Line and there might be dangerous pirates there." He leaned over and waggled his eyebrows at Zoro. "I even heard that the 'Hawk eyes' man you've been looking for frequents the restaurant." He said, and Zoro's eyes widened in shock before swiftly becoming feral anticipation.

"Hawkeyes? Really?" I said incredulously, and Johnny nodded at me.

"Yeah. Zo-bro's been looking for him for as long as I can remember." He said, and I snorted.

"You ready to fight one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea?" I asked Zoro with a grin, and he chuckled darkly in reply.

"Seven Warlords of the Sea?" Usopp asked, unfamiliar with the term. I shifted from where I was sitting on the stairs and pointed a finger in the air.

"The Seven Warlords are seven pirates who became privateers working for the World Government. Well, I say they work for the government, but it's more of an alliance. Some of them do various tasks for the government, but their ultimate purpose is to keep other pirates in check." I explained. Nami stared at me as if I had grown another head.

"How do you know all this?" She asked, sounding a bit stunned.

_I used to be owned by one._

"At any rate," I continued, hand rising to my chest absently, "Hawkeyes is one of the Warlords, and also currently the holder of the title of World's Greatest Swordsman."

"Ahh! Cool! Zoro's going to be the best soon!" Luffy jumped up with a happy grin. "Let's go!"

"COOL? This Hawkeyes sounds incredibly powerful, and you want to go pick a fight with him?" Nami cried, but no one was listening.

_I'm a bit worried too. Zoro's good, but I don't think he's good enough yet. Honestly, I'm hoping we don't find Mihawk just yet._

 

* * *

 

I woke up that night with a jerk. The soft glow of moonlight from the porthole illuminated the room enough for me to be able to pick out the sleeping forms of Johnny, Yosaku, and Usopp in their hammocks. Zoro and Luffy, however, were missing. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and swung my legs out of my hammock to stand quietly. I slid my arms into my shirt and padded over to climb up to the deck. I stretched and made my way over to where my captain and our swordsman were sitting against the railing.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked, and Zoro nodded, occupied with lifting a set of weights.

"You're up too." Luffy pointed out as I took a seat beside them. My hand drifted up to my chest again.

"True." I murmured.

_Warlords. Mihawk._ _**Crocodile.** _

Something abruptly dropped over my eyes, and I stiffened before reaching up and feeling…

_Luffy's hat?_

I gently ran my fingers over the brim, feeling the rough edge where Nami had mended it.

"Don't worry so much." Luffy said, and I pushed the hat onto the top of my head with one finger and smiled.

"Aye, aye, Captain."


	8. Chef and a Swordsman

Two days later, I was woken by cannonfire.

"What the hell?" I yelped as the boat rocked and I found myself unceremoniously dumped onto the floor. I scrambled around for my makeshift belt and flew up the hatch, just in time to witness:

"RUBBER BALLOON!"

_Marine ship over…thattaway.. and Luffy is going into balloon form…-_

"HAVE YOUR CANNONBALL BACK!"

- _oh that's impressive, good job Luf…_

The cannonball that Luffy redirected hit a fancy looking ship that proudly declared itself 'Restaurant Baratie'.

"WHO ARE YOU GIVING IT TO, YOU DUMBASS!?" Zoro roared at our captain as the top of the restaurant promptly exploded into a fine mist of wood and fire.

… _It's too early for this shit._

Luffy fell backwards onto the deck as he deflated, tears forming in his eyes. I assumed that destroying a restaurant was the equivalent of high sacrilege to him, considering his love affair with meat. The marine ship made its way to the dock of the smoldering restaurant, unbothered by the fact that a portion of it was currently in ruins. I shaded my eyes with my hand, and made out the figures of people pouring out of the restaurant ship and pointing at us.

"Well, there goes our chances of getting a cook." I said groggily.

Luffy's resulting wail of anguish could have been heard in Shabaody.

Usopp gave him a pitying look. "That was mean."

"Pirate." I shrugged.

* * *

After patching up the bounty hunter duo (who were bleeding into the deck from what Zoro told me was an ill-advised bout with the lieutenant of the marine ship), we set about docking at the Baratie. This included being welcomed by a small horde of angry looking cooks.

"Which one of you is the captain?" The burliest one asked, muscles flexing menacingly. I sighed, closed my eyes, and jerked my thumb in Luffy's direction.

"He's all yours."

They pounced.

"I'M SORRY!" He cried as they dragged him into the ship. The others stared at me while I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

"Did you not get enough sleep, Kai?" Usopp asked, brow twitching. I bestowed a beatific smile upon him. He swallowed nervously.

"I'm going back to bed. Try not to get shot by cannons again." I said brightly, and clapped him on the shoulder as I went back down to my bunk.

"Low-blood-pressure demon-king." I heard him mutter under his breath as the hatch swung closed.

* * *

I woke again after a few hours, feeling wonderfully rested. After replacing my bandages and ensuring nothing was fesetering, I pulled on my boots and a white shirt before heading back up the hatch. It closed behind me and I stretched luxuriously, cracking my neck loudly in the process. Johnny and Yosaku were relaxing on the deck, picking through something or other, and I nodded at them as I passed them on my way to the galley. Usopp and Nami were sitting at the table, while Zoro was sitting on the floor in front of my couch. I yawned and blinked muzzily at their wary expressions.

"What?" I asked bluntly as I crossed to the coffee maker. I heard Zoro snort.

"Your sleep deprivation scared them." He told me, and I raised an eyebrow before taking a sip of caffiene.

… _Usopp, your use of habanero pepper in my coffee would have worked had I not essentially grown up in a desert._

"Oh. Sorry." I responded, and sat down on the couch, legs stretched out in front of me. "Coffee's good, Usopp." I complimented with a smirk, and he paled while watching me the mug to my lips again. I had just taken a sip when Johnny and Yosaku burst into the galley looking as if Garp himself was after them.

"Y-Y-Y-Y…" They stuttered, pointing at me. I blinked.

_They were fine a minute ago._

"Johnny? Yosaku? What is it?" Nami asked, leaning forward with a frown.

"YOU'RE A PIRATE!" They screamed at me in unison.

_...no shit._

"I thought this was a fact that had been already established." I deadpanned. "You know, being a member of a pirate crew and all. Sailing on a ship that hoists a pirate flag. Preparing to sail to Grand Line and find Raftel and One Piece and watch Luffy become the Pirate King."

"N-no well, it's just…" Johnny stammered while Yosaku brandished a piece of parchment at me.

"You have an actual bounty!" He finished for his partner.

"EEEEEHHHHHHHH?" Nami and Usopp chorused in unison.

I frowned and scratched my head. "It's not really that big of a deal."

"IT'S FOR TEN MILLION BELI!" The bounty hunter duo screeched incredulously, and dropped the poster on the table. Nami's jaw dropped as she picked it up.

"WHAAAAT?" She screamed right along with them while Usopp froze like a statue. Zoro picked himself up off the floor and ambled over to look at it. The poster had my name and bounty written on it, and the picture was one of me snarling somewhere past the camera, fist cocked by my ear, with a burning building behind me.

"Ohhh, is _that_ why you were angry with me when we fought Buggy?" Zoro realized, twisting to look over at me. I scowled at him.

"His bounty was five million beli larger than mine. Of _course_ I was insulted you called him a small fry, you were calling me one too." I grumped.

_And I'm definitely not small fry._

"HOW ARE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!?" Usopp found his voice again. "We just got attacked by the _marines_ and you've got a _bounty_ and are just sitting here!" He waved his hands around, but at what, I didn't know.

"What do you want me to do about it? It's not gonna change anything. Even if they attack us, I'll be able to beat them." I stated. Usopp folded his arms on the table and buried his head in them, mentally checking out for a while.

"Where does that confidence come from?" Nami snapped at me.

"Hmm? Oh. I kind of exploded a section of the Marine HQ in Loguetown when I got arrested there." I beamed at her. Johnny and Yosaku both sat down against the wall, staring into space.

"Exploded?" Zoro intoned, raising an eyebrow at me while leaning back against the table, arms crossed expectantly.

"It was an accident!" I said defensively.

"…How, exactly, did you _accidentally_ explode a Marine HQ?" Nami asked, fingers pressed against her temples and eyes closed. Usopp sat upright, elbow on the table, forehead on hand.

"Well… I wasn't exactly… in the best shape at the time." I began. Zoro and Nami suddenly found my chest intensely fascinating. _Right. They've seen the scars._ "So when I got into trouble in Loguetown, I got arrested. But the problem with that was, I didn't _want_ to be arrested. Soooo, I broke out. I _miiiiiight_ have accidentally set their gunpowder stores on fire on my way." I explained, and Usopp eyes went heavenward.

"…You are never allowed anywhere near the cannons." He said blankly. No one else spoke for a long moment.

"So! Where's Luffy?" I asked brightly.

* * *

"Welcome, you squid faced bastards!" A large man with a chinstrap goatee and forearms the size of my head smiled like a used ship salesman at us. His name badge declared him to be 'Patty'. "How many in your shitty party today?"

I regarded him for a moment beneath my hood and sunglasses before deciding it wasn't worth the trouble to point out that his attempt at high class mannerisms had failed utterly. "Four." I told him, and he showed us in.

The Baratie's interior was a mix of purple-pink pastel colors, white paneling, and gold accents around the windows and roof. The front half of the restaurant seemed to be the dining area, and there was a staircase near the back half that I would have bet money led up to the sleeping quarters of the workers. It was also quite full. I shot a glance out the windows as we passed, and saw a few seabuses docked outside.

"Please be seated." Patty said, and pulled Nami's chair out for her like a gentleman before continuing. "Here are our shitty menus. May I get you mere bastards any drinks to start?" He asked, and I gave the drink menu a quick once-over.

"A bottle of Bella Rossa Red, and a bottle of Wakayama Plum Sake." I decided. Zoro went with water, Usopp chose a cola, and Nami picked out a fruity sounding wine. "By the way," I asked as Patty bowed, "have you seen a kid wearing a straw hat and a red vest around?"

His nostrils flared mightily. "Ah. That bastard. Yes, I've seen him. He's working here for a year until he clears his debt with the Head Chef. Why, has he been bothering you bastards?"

_Luffy, what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?_

"Ah, no, no." I assured him. "Thank you very much." He gave another bow before marching off with our orders.

"Tch." Zoro grunted. "A whole year?" He leaned back in his chair, and I waved my hand at him.

"Nah. They'll probably kick him out after a week or two. It's a restaurant." I said, as if that explained everything. It kinda did.

* * *

" _Oi, Luffy, it's your turn to do dishes!"_

" _Alright!"_

_**CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!** _

" _THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"_

" _You told me to wash the dishes!"_

" _ **YEAH, BUT YOU'RE BREAKING ALL OF THEM!"**_

* * *

"…Right." Nami said with a pained expression as she, too, remembered the first time I ever kicked our captain out of the galley.

"At least we get to eat delicious food in the meantime!" Usopp tried to look on the bright side.

"And we get to tease Luffy." I pointed out, and was rewarded with three slowly dawning expressions of glee.

* * *

"Oh, oh, there he is." Usopp whispered excitedly, and I hid a smile behind my glass of wine.

"Hey there, busboy." Nami opened, and Luffy's expression of horror as he spun to face us was absolutely priceless.

"Heard you have to work here for a year." Usopp snorted, making a valiant effort to keep from breaking out into snickers at the sight of our captain's gobsmacked stare.

"Nice apron. It suits you." I drawled, smirk firmly in place.

"So we can change the flag now, right?" Zoro grinned.

Luffy's expression grew more heated with each remark until his shoulders were trembling with incandescent rage. "THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU LEAVE ME HERE TO WORK AND SNEAK OFF TO HAVE DELICIOUS FOOD ALL BY YOURSELVES? SELFISH!" He shouted.

"It's a free world. We can do what we want." Zoro shrugged, glancing over at me with a smug look. I grinned at him while Luffy shot a booger into his drink.

"Piiirates." I sang in agreement, grin widening as Zoro turned back to Luffy, seemingly oblivious to what had just transpired.

"I'll admit it though, the food here is _great_." The swordsman said as he picked up his glass. "Maybe I _am_ being selfish, so…" and then he had Luffy in a headlock and was pouring the snot-drink down our captain's throat, "YOU DRINK THIS!" He roared, and Luffy collapsed to the floor, choking like he was about to die.

"How could you do this to meee?" Luffy whined at him, betrayal written all over his face.

"I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME THING!" Zoro snapped right back.

My shoulder shook with repressed laughter.

"Oh! Blessed are the oceans for bringing me this fine day!" A voice sang out over the sounds of bickering, and a blond man dressed in a sharp blue suit whirled across the restaurant floor towards Nami.

_C-c-curly brow..._

"Oh Love! Laugh if you will, at my poor self who cannot endure his tortuous passions!" He fell to his knees in front of her, arms raised in supplication. The effect was only slightly ruined by the cigarette still hanging out of his mouth. Nami's expression grew curiously blank, and I braced myself against the table with one hand as I tried my hardest not to laugh.

"As long as I can be with you, I'm prepared to walk across any path, be it the paths of a pirate or a devil!"

I couldn't hold it any longer, I laughed.

"But alas! 'Tis tragic there is such a great obstacle standing between the two of us."

"And when you say obstacle, you mean me, don't you Sanji." A voice cut into his speech dryly. I fought my laughter back down and leaned back in my chair to take a look at the new speaker. He was older, around 50 years old, and was wearing a chef's suit and hat. But his moustache…

_That is a braided moustache of legendary proportions._

The blond glared at him. "Crap, it's the geezer." He muttered under his breath, completely dropping the over-the-top theatrical act.

"It's fine. Just go and be a pirate." The older chef said, and pushed off the wall to loom over the blond. "I don't need a guy like you in my restaurant."

The blond man stiffened. "Hey, old man. I'm the _assistant head chef_. What exactly do you mean when you say I'm not needed?" He snapped, nearly biting his cigarette in half. The older man gave him a bored look and started ticking things off on his fingers.

"You fight with all the men and flirt with all the women. You _also_ can't cook a decent meal to save your life, and as you probably know, none of the other cooks want you here. You're just unnecessary baggage, holding this restaurant down. So whether it's as a pirate or something else, it's just better for you to get the hell out of my shop."

_Ouch. That was uh, quite the smackdown._

"So THAT'S what you've wanted to say to me all these years?" the blond gritted _(Known each other for quite some time),_ and grabbed the old man's collar. "Ignoring everything else, I won't stand for you insulting my cooking! No matter what you say, I'm staying here! Got that!?" The old man glanced down at the hand curled into his collar and snorted.

I was forced to save my plate and wine bottle when he hurled the blond into our table ass-first.

_Impressive for a man of his age. And on a peg leg, no less._

"TRY TO CHASE ME OUT ALL YOU WANT, BUT I'M STAYING! YOU HEAR ME! UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE AT THE VERY LEAST!" The blond yelled from his new table-throne, and the old man harrumphed and walked off.

"I ain't dying. I'll live for another hundred years." The old man stated, and I laughed again.

_Ahh, I like a good sense of humor._

"Haha! Alright!" Luffy laughed along with me, and turned to the blond. "He gave you permission! Now we can be pirat-"

"AS IF!"

_Luffy asked this blond – **Sanji** , right - to be a pirate?_

"Oh!" I perked up, and grinned at Luffy. "Is he going to be our new chef?" I pointed at the blond, who was glaring daggers at me now.

Luffy beamed. "Yeah!"

The chef scowled. "NO!"

"Aa." I turned my head to emphasize the fact I was looking between them both. "Still in negotiations, I see."

"THERE'S NOTHING TO NEGOTIATE!"

* * *

Two minutes later, and Sanji had righted our table, brought out a new tablecloth, given us 'men' hot tea, and then had pulled out all the stops for our orange haired navigator.

"Forgive me for the ruckus just now." He said smoothly, reaching around Nami's back to pour a glass of wine even while he placed a fruity dessert before her. "As an apology, please enjoy this fruit Macedonia, and this glass of Grand Marnier wine."

"Oh, thank you so much!" Nami, of course, was over the moon.

"Hey! What about us?" Usopp, however, was not. "This is gender discrimination!" He complained, pounding on the table. "I'll sue, you love-crazy cook!" I sighed as Sanji got into Usopp's face.

"I already brought you tea. At least say thank you for that, you punk!"

"Wha- You want to start something? Is that it? I'm not gonna go easy on you! Get'im, Zoro!"

"Get him yourself." Zoro responded testily, not even bothering to turn around. I leaned back in my seat, pinching the bridge of my nose to relieve the pressure of the oncoming headache I felt as the sniper and cook continued arguing.

"You haven't even cleared away my plates!"

"You still have mushrooms left! Finish them!"

"I left them because I hate them. I was poisoned by one when I was a kid."

"Well these aren't poisoned, so eat up, Long-nose!"

"Please don't fight because of me!" Nami said, taking matters into her own hands. Sanji ignored Usopp's shriek of _'WE'RE NOT FIGHTING OVER YOU!_ ' in favor of instantly acquiescing to her demands.

"Anything for you miss." He said smoothly. Nami smiled, knowing a sucker when she saw one, and reached out to touch his face with her fingertips.

"By the way, Mr. Chef," She began in a shy tone of voice that totally didn't suit her, "the food here is just a tad too expensive for me." And damn if she didn't sound like she actually meant it. Our future chef fell for her act hook, line, and sinker.

"Then it's free of charge!" He declared grandly, and got a hug for his gullibility. He strutted off, humming happily to himself while Zoro crossed his arms and pinned Nami with a _look._

"You're a real witch, aren't you." He deadpanned. She giggled and toasted him with her wine glass while Luffy sat and started drinking Zoro's tea.

"Better watch me!"

Two seconds later the blond was bringing an axe kick down onto Luffy's head and dragging him back to work. We watched them go in silence.

"You know, as annoying as the constant womanizing might be, he'd be pretty good at helping wrangle Luffy." I said suddenly. Usopp stared into the distance for a moment before nodding.

"…You know, I can actually see that."

* * *

**TWO DAYS LATER**

* * *

"That's Don Krieg's ship." I said flatly to Zoro as we stood on the foredeck staring up at the hulking, battered galleon that had limped up to the Baratie.

"Don Krieg? The Ruler of East Blue?" Yosaku asked, as if hoping he had heard me wrong. Usopp began gibbering behind us.

"Looks like they had one hell of a fight." Zoro noted, hand on his swords. I tilted my head and frowned slightly.

"Don Krieg supposedly sailed with an armada, but if this is the only ship here, it might be safe to say that whatever fight it was horribly one-sided." I pointed out, sweeping my eyes across the tattered sails, broken mast, holes gouged in the hull, and the anchor sticking out of the stern.

"What the hell could have done so much damage?" Johnny squawked. I hummed under my breath.

"Let's go find out."

* * *

The inside of the restaurant was a warzone. Tables were overturned, chairs broken, cooks lying bleeding, and even Sanji was on the ground. Don Krieg himself was standing in front of the main entrance, looming over the injured, wearing what appeared to be golden armor. The old chef from earlier threw a sack down in front of Krieg with a bland expression while Luffy looked on from the sidelines.

"There's food enough here for a hundred people, so hurry up and take it to your men." He ordered the pirate, who was giving him a look of utter disbelief.

"Did… did they just call you 'Zeff'?" He stuttered, and I raised an eyebrow before taking a seat at one of the tables still upright, putting my feet up. Several of the cooks near the back began shaking as they watched the interaction between Zeff and Krieg.

' _Red Leg' Zeff? Damn, captain, you have the craziest luck._

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"  
"Sir, once the pirates recover, they'll take over our restaurant!"

The old man snorted and took a few steps away from Krieg. "That'll only be if they still have any fight left in them after running away from Grand Line." He said, and pinned Krieg with a gimlet stare. "Isn't that right?"

"Ran away from Grand Line?" Zoro murmured, so low I could barely make out the words. "Pathetic."

Krieg's teeth clenched hard enough I could hear them grinding from where I sat. "Red Leg Zeff, the peerless Captain and cook of his pirate crew. So you were alive…" He gritted, and Zeff huffed at him in disdain.

"So what if I'm alive? It's got nothing to do with you. As you can see, I'm merely a cook now." He responded, and Krieg sneered.

"Interesting to hear you put it like that, but the way I see it, you're living this way not by choice, but because you don't _have_ any other choice. After all, you can't exactly live up to your moniker with only one leg." He said with an air of superiority. Zeff didn't seem bothered by it.

"Is there a point to all this?" He asked, expression not moving an inch.

_He's quite impressive. I bet he was a hell of a captain to sail under._

"As a man who sailed Grand Line and returned without even a scratch, you must have kept a log during your time there. So hand that logbook over to me!" Krieg straight out ordered.

"Cool!" Luffy perked up, "You've been to Grand Line, old man?" He asked excitedly. Zeff glanced at Luffy and nodded before turning his attention back to Krieg.

"You're correct to assume I kept a log, and I do indeed still have it. But I ain't giving it to you. That log is the pride of me and my men, who bravely explored Grand Line with me. It's much too valuable to give to the likes of you." Zeff said firmly.

"THEN I'LL JUST TAKE IT FROM YOU!" Krieg roared, hunching as if preparing to tackle Zeff. "It's true that Grand Line beat me, but I'm still Don Krieg! That ocean shrouded by darkness, the mere mention of which causes weaker men to tremble in their boots… I had enough power to conquer that sea! Enough manpower! Enough ambition!" He snarled. "The only thing I lacked was information. So I'll take your log and this ship, re-assemble my pirate fleet, and find One Piece to become the Pirate King!"

_Aaaannd if I know my captain…_

Luffy's expression twisted. "Hold it right there!" He barked. "The one who'll become the Pirate King is me."

_Yep._

"Wh-what are you saying? Back off kid, or you'll get hurt!" Our waiter from earlier, Patty, exclaimed.

"I'll never back off about this!" Luffy said with a fierce, dangerous smile. Krieg glared and pulled himself up to his full height, trying for intimidation but failing because he didn't know who he was trying to intimidate.

"You say something, brat? I'll let your comment slide this once…" He began.

"You don't have to let it slide. I was only stating the truth." Luffy interrupted him, arms crossed over his chest and mulish frown on his face.

"This isn't a game." Krieg gritted.

"I know." Luffy grinned.

"Oi, did you hear that? Even Krieg couldn't make it in there!" Usopp complained loudly to Zoro and I. "We should give it up if it's so difficult." Zoro shot him a despairing glance before sighing.

"Shut up." Zoro replied succinctly, and tilted his head to look at our captain. "Planning on fighting, Luffy? Need a hand?"

"Oh, hey guys. No, it's fine, just stay there." Luffy replied with a brief look over his shoulder. Krieg's eyes glanced over each of us before he threw his head back and laughed.

"Those are your crewmates? Small bunch, aren't they?" He mocked, and I grinned lazily beneath my hood.

"Captain prefers quality over quantity, Krieg." I said smoothly, and pulled my hood down and my sunglasses off before my lazy grin formed sharp edges. "Unlike yourself."

Krieg's laughter stopped when he caught sight of my face. "You have _Godhand_ on your crew?" He said, eyes narrowing.

"And two others." Luffy confirmed with a nod.

_He's including Sanji in that count as well. Haha, that poor blond doesn't have a clue what he got himself into. Back to matters at hand though…_

"Actually, Krieg, I'm wondering how you managed to get your entire armada fucked to hell badly enough that you came crawling back." I asked, eyebrow raised. His face turned a magnificent shade of puce.

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT GRAND LINE IS LIKE!" He roared at me, and then turned on Luffy. "And you, you are completely ignorant to reality. Keep making empty boasts like earlier and I'll kill you on the spot when I come back." Luffy didn't even twitch. "As for the rest of you, I suggest you get off this ship by the time I come back. The only things I need are it and Zeff's log. If any of you stick around even after I warned you, I'll bury you at the bottom of the sea." And with that, he hefted the bag of food and left.

* * *

A pregnant silence filled the air, and then a man by the door – _Devilman Gin -_ bowed at Sanji. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I had no idea… no idea at all that this would happen!" He begged desperately, and Zeff heaved a sigh before responding.

"There's no need for you to apologize. The cooks here acted of their own free will." He said, and said cooks began shouting over the top of one another.

"How could you of all people side with Sanji?"  
"That's right, this is all his fault!"  
"He just wants to destroy this restaurant!"  
SANJI! Were you planning on using this mess to become head chef, or have you just lost it?"

"SHUT UP, NUMBSKULLS!" Zeff's voice plowed right over all of them, bringing quiet back to the room. Sanji leaned against where he was seated against a table and got out a pack of cigarettes. "Have any one of you ever been hungry enough to die?" Zeff snarled, temper well and truly lost. "Do any of you know just how terrifying and painful it is to be deprived of food and water?"

' _Red Leg' Zeff-missing a leg, speaks about starvation as if he has experienced it, Sanji-stays at a restaurant where his coworkers hate him and think the worst of him out of..a debt? – got mad at Usopp for not finishing all the food on his plate…_

"Oh." I said aloud quietly as the chefs began picking up knives and other implements.

"Something important?" Zoro questioned, and I glanced at him before shooting another look at our future chef.

"Just an insight."

"What are you all doing? Haven't you realized how strong the Don is by now?" The Devilman exclaimed, and Sanji took a drag of his cigarette.

"Gin, let me tell you something." He said, and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "It's my duty as a cook to feed anyone who is starving. But the people about to attack the ship are already fed." He took another drag. "So you better not come crying to me when I kill them." His one visible eyebrow narrowed into a glare. "If anyone tries to steal from this ship, I'll kill them without a second thought, even if it's you."

_Strong spirit, strong beliefs, good chef._

"Ne, Kai! What do you think about Sanji?" Luffy said, and bounced up to sit on the table in front of me with a grin. "Pretty good, right?" He asked, and I grinned.

"I already like him."

"WHO CARES ABOUT HIM! If we don't get out of here soon…" Usopp was going into hysterics again, and Zoro slammed his hand down on the table to get his attention.

"Calm down. Our enemies are already wounded." Our swordsman said, and Luffy's grin became fierce.

"Right. Besides, I have to fight that big guy. If he's strong, then we are going to butt heads eventually anyway!" He said, and I hummed.

_Something is still bugging me._

"Oi, Devilman Gin. What the hell happened to your ships?" I called over, and he curled up into himself.

"They…they were destroyed, all of them, by a single man." He said, voice shaking. I raised an eyebrow even as the restaurant exploded into shocked yells. "He came out of nowhere and sank our ships one by one before we even realized what was happening. We wouldn't have made it back alive if not for the freak storm that swept us away. It's…" His voice broke. "It's to terrifying to believe. I don't want to think about him, I don't want to think about that hawk-eyed man whose glare is sharp enough to kill! I don't! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT HIM!"

_Hawk-eyed man?_

"Ah. Mihawk." I breathed, and closed my eyes briefly.

"THE WARLORD?" Usopp screeched, remembering my little explanation from a few days ago, and I nodded, opening my eyes again.

"I thought it was a little strange when Johnny told us he would be here, I didn't think he came to the Blues often." I replied, and Zoro glared into thin air as if trying to light something on fire with his mind.

_Johnny, be glad you aren't currently present._

"That damn idiot got his information wrong?" He snapped, and turned his glare onto me. "And you didn't correct him?"

"It was a slim chance, and better than none." I shrugged. He huffed and sat back with a moody expression.

" 'Hawkeyes' Mihawk? Did he have some grudge against you guys?" Sanji was asking Gin, who planted his hands on the floor in frustration.

"I don't know! He just attacked us out of the blue!" He exclaimed.

"Maybe you interrupted his afternoon nap." Zeff snorted with amusement.

"BULLSHIT! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME HE DESTROYED OUR ENTIRE FLEET JUST FOR THAT?" Gin shouted angrily.

"No need to get worked up, it was just an example. That's the kind of place Grand Line is." Zeff told him calmly. Luffy twisted around to look at me.

"Oi, is that true, Kai?" He asked.

"Yup."

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?" Usopp shrilled in my ear, and I leaned away from him slightly, finger in my ear and one eye closed.

"I'm _from_ Grand Line, Usopp. That kind of thing is pretty normal." I informed him.

"WHAAAAAAT?"

"Oh really?" Zeff questioned, turning to face me.

"Yup!" Luffy answered for me with a wild grin. "Grand Line sounds so _coooooool_! I wanna go already!"

"A place where the abnormal is normal." Zoro pondered, and leaned back in his chair with a grin. "Well my own goal is tied to Grand Line as well, considering that Hawkeyes is there." He said. Sanji gave us a long look before sighing.

"…Bunch of idiots. You guys are the type to rush to your deaths." He said.

"True." Zoro replied. "But you don't get to call us that." He said, gaze steady. "Ever since I decided to become the World's Greatest Swordsman, I threw away my attachment to life. The only one who gets to call me an 'idiot' is me." His voice was firm.

"Ooh! Me too!" Luffy said, hand raised in the air.

"As a real man, the same goes for me as well." Usopp got in on the action, and Zoro smacked him in the temple with the hilt of his sword.

"Liar." He deadpanned, and I laughed at their antics

"Psh. What a load of crap." Sanji muttered under his breath as the cooks of the Baratie began their preparations for a fight.

* * *

Half an hour later, we were able to hear yells coming from the direction of Krieg's ship. The cooks brandished their weapons, Sanji took a drag of his cigarette, and our little group stayed put.

"They're on their way." I said, cracking my neck and taking a look out the window at the enormous galleon.

Then, with a shudder and the cracking of wood, Krieg's ship fell apart into three sections, as if _cut with a…_

"FUCK!" I snarled, the realization hitting me even as the Baratie rocked wildly on the now hellishly-roiling sea.

_Mihawk is here._

" _OUR SHIP'S STILL OUTSIDE!"_ Zoro yelled. Luffy was already dashing away across tabletops, and I shot after him.

"IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE!" Usopp shouted after us, and the four of us barreled out the back of the Baratie, slamming into the rail outside where our ship… had… been…

_**The Merry was gone.** _

"BRO!" Johnny yelled, treading water. "ZO-BRO!" Yosaku was right beside him.

"YOSAKU! JOHNNY! YOU ALRIGHT?" Zoro shouted frantically back at them. I located a spool of rope and tied it off to the rail, eyes scanning the horizon for our ship.

"OUR SHIP! WHERE'S OUR SHIP? _WHAT HAPPENED TO NAMI?_ " Luffy thundered, and I heaved the rope over the side for the hunter duo.

"WE'RE REALLY SORRY! SHE'S ALREADY GONE!" Johnny cried.

"NAMI-SIS TOOK ALL THE TREASURE AND LEFT!" Yosaku said.

…

" _ **WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"**_   I screamed right alongside my crewmates.

* * *

"…After saying that, she ran away!" Johnny and Yosaku finished explaining, prostrate on the ground.

 **"DAMN THAT WOMAN!"** Zoro punched the wall so hard the entire thing shook. "Just because she was acting all nice recently… I let my guard down for **ONE MOMENT** and then _THIS_ happens!" He snarled.

Usopp's fists clenched in impotent rage. "How DARE she pull a fast one over us, especially during this crisis!"

_I had a feeling this would happen when we first met her, but she seemed so happy to be sailing with us that I actually believed she would join us._

"Kai, I see our ship!" Luffy said from the railing. I was next to him in an instant, and sure enough, there was the Merry on the horizon.

"Orders, captain?" I asked, voice calm and steady.

"Johnny, Yosaku, where's your ship?" He asked the two, and they glanced at one another.

"We still have it." They replied. Luffy nodded and gave me a look that said _so_ much.

" _I don't want anyone other than Nami to be my navigator."_  
"I trust you."  
"Bring her back."

"Aye, aye, captain." I closed my eyes briefly before turning away, following Johnny and Yoasku to where their ship was tied up.

"Zoro, Usopp." I heard Luffy say behind me.

"Tch." Zoro groaned, but his boots thudded after me. "You're so troublesome. Alright, we're going."

"What about you, Luffy?" Usopp asked in the background.

"Can't. I still haven't paid the old man back." Our captain replied.

I joined the hunter duo in their shrimp boat, and Zoro turned back around to give Luffy a serious look. "Look, be careful. Things are getting crazy around here." He said, and Luffy nodded his understanding.

"Yea, don't worry."

"IT'S HIM!" someone yelled from the front of the Baratie. "DON, IT'S HIM! THE ONE WHO DESTROYED OUR FLEET! HE'S COME TO KILL US!"

Zoro's throat worked up and down as a coffin shaped boat floated into view, its sole occupant a tall man wearing ornate black and red clothing and a wide-brimmed black hat. "I-it can't be…" he stammered. "Is that…Hawkeyes?" He took a step forward, and then another, and kept going, picking his way across the wreckage towards the Warlord.

"Damnit. Usopp, get in the boat. Johnny, Yosaku, follow him." I ordered.

* * *

We got close enough to watch Zoro tie his headband on and challenge Mihawk, but not close enough to hear what was being said.

"Johnny, Yosaku, get ready. If this goes badly, grab Zoro and bring him back." I ordered, muscles tense.

"What are you talking about? There's not a chance someone can match Zoro!" They snapped at me, and I _glared._

"Shut. Up. And. Watch." I snarled, tracking Mihawk as he pulled a blade no larger than three inches out of a cord hanging around his neck. Zoro lunged forward, arms crossed, and swung.

All three of his blades were blocked by the not-even-a-dagger Mihawk wielded.

"No way!" Johnny breathed incredulously. Zoro's blades shook and he let out a yell that was audible from where we were floating before pressing the attack. Each strike was turned aside, and Mihawk did something that sent Zoro flying backward. There was a lull, and then Zoro was back on the attack, striking hard and fast, but…

_He's not getting anywhere. Goddamnit Mihawk, don't you dare kill him!_

Johnny and Yosaku jerked forward at a particularly violent yell of Zoro's, and tried to jump off the ship.

"Don't you fucking move!" I snapped, yanking them back into the boat with a white-knuckled grip on their shirts. They struggled, eyes glued to where Zoro was furiously exchanging blows that seemingly went nowhere.

Then Mihawk stabbed Zoro in the chest.

_No… no no no nononononono_

"BRO!" The two screamed, and Zoro swayed slightly but didn't step off the blade. After a moment, Mihawk was the one to pull back, sheathing his small blade in favor of…

My breath caught in my throat as the enormous black blade came off Hawkeye's back, and Zoro brought his swords up in front of him, blood pouring down the front of his shirt. Zoro's blades spun, Mihawk attacked, and two of Zoro's swords broke.

I let go of Johnny and Yosaku, heart pounding in my chest. Zoro sheathed his sword and stood to face Mihawk, arms outstretched.

_No_

Hawkeyes smiled, swung, and my vision went _red._

" _ **ZORO!"**_ His name ripped out of my throat in a tortured, shattered scream as he hit the water. Johnny and Yosaku hit the water and dove. I lunged for the side of the boat, scanning the water for any sign of them.

_Nonononononononodon'tbedeaddon'tbedead_

" _ **DAMN YOU!"**_ Luffy screamed, and shot himself over the water at the Warlord. Johnny and Yosaku's heads cleared the water, Zoro propped between them.

"BRO! ANSWER US, BRO!"

"GET HIM ON THE BOAT!" I screamed down at them, leaning over the side to hook my hands under his arms and pull. Usopp, who I had forgotten was behind me, was at my side in an instant to help.

"I've got him! Get me the first aid kit, now!" I snapped, pulling my knife and cutting open Zoro's shirt as quickly and carefully as I could. "And any alcohol you can find!" Johnny and Yosaku clambered on board a moment later, and helped me tug what remained of our swordsman's haramaki off.

_Deep cut: from left shoulder to upper right hip, stop bleeding, clean wound, apply stitches, cover, change dressing twice a day, watch for signs of infection…_

"I've got the kit!" Usopp said from next to me.

"I AM DRACULE MIHAWK!" Came the voice of the damn warlord, bellowing to be heard. "It is much too early for you to die." _He's talking to Zoro._ "Know yourself! Know your world! And become strong, Roronoa!" He called, even as I snapped orders to the others instructions for cleaning the wound and getting ready for sutures. "No matter how much time passes, I shall stand at the top of the world and wait for you! So forge ahead with your fierce conviction and come meet me! SURPASS ME, RORONOA!"

"Kai-bro! We need more cloth!" Yosaku said, the blood soaked rags in his hand dripping onto the bottom of the boat. I ripped my shirt off, not even bothering to unbutton it, and threw it at him. My hands pressed down against the worst portion of the wound, Zoro's haramaki balled up underneath my fist, vision blurry.

"KAI!" Luffy yelled. "IS ZORO ALRIGHT?"

"LIKE HELL HE'S ALRIGHT!" Usopp snapped. I grabbed the needle and thread from Usopp and motioned for him to take over where I was pressing down.

"ALIVE AND UNCONSCIOUS!" I yelled over to my captain. Zoro chose that moment to prove me wrong, and his eyes fluttered open, unfocused. He raised his remaining sword into the air, arm shaking, and coughed wetly.

"L-luffy…" He coughed again. "C-can you hear me?"

"YEAH!"

Zoro grimaced weakly. "Sorry for worrying you." He said, and a painful shudder ran through his frame. "I know…" He paused again to gather his strength. "That you'll be embarrassed if…if I don't become the World's Greatest Swordsman." He managed, and then _shook._ The hunter duo stopped what they were doing to start wailing again.

"Keep pressure on his wounds damnit! The hell are you doing!" I snapped.

"I SWEAR!" Zoro yelled, tears streaming down his face, "THAT I'M NEVER GOING TO LOSE AGAIN! UNTIL THE DAY I FIGHT HIM AND WIN! I SWEAR TO NEVER LOSE AGAIN!"

_You… you damn honorable moron…_

" _ANY PROBLEMS, PIRATE KING?"_

"NOPE!" Luffy called back, smiling. Zoro smiled painfully and lowered his arm back onto the deck, breathing strained.

"Captain! I'm going on ahead! We'll bring Nami back!" I shouted, even as my vision blurred with unshed tears.

"Right!"

I turned back to Zoro, who was watching me blearily. "You stubborn bastard, don't you dare die on me." I whispered. "Get those bandages over here!" I raised my voice again, and got busy.


	9. Adventures with Zoro

Two long, tense hours later, after Zoro had fallen back into unconsciousness and we had finished patching him up, Yosaku had scrounged up one of his spare jackets for me. I slid on the too-large green garment while Johnny laid a blanket over Zoro. Usopp was sitting just outside my reach, fiddling with something or other, giggling at my expense. I scowled at him while rolling up the sleeves.

_Honestly. It's a good thing you're both out of reach and weaker than myself._

A hand landed on my hood-covered head and rubbed back and forth. I pulled back, hands reaching up to my head to ward whoever it was away, and heard Johnny laugh. "Kai-bro, here." The man in question crouched down in front of me, holding out a canteen. I frowned and batted his hand away before reaching up to take the proffered drink. The rum within hit the back of my throat with a comforting burn as I took a long swallow.

"Thanks, Johnny." I rasped, and took another sip before handing it back to him. He settled himself across from me on the deck, legs stretched out.

"Yosaku and I think we figured out where Nami's heading." He said abruptly, hand running over his hair.

_Frustration, anger, worry, fear._

"That bad, huh?" I murmured, and he took a drink from the canteen before replying.

"Yea. She's heading for Arlong Park." He said, mouth twisting into a frown. My gaze wandered down to the deck while I raised a fist over my mouth.

"Arlong, formerly of the Sun Pirates, released from Impel Down by Warlord Jinbe. Based out of the Conomi islands currently." I mumbled into my fist, running through what I knew of Arlong before glancing up at Johnny. "What makes you so sure Nami is heading there?" I questioned, head tilting to one side.

He shook his head and drew his knees up in front of him. "Before she kicked us off the Merry, she was looking through the bounty posters. We didn't think much of it at the time, but she was obsessed with Arlong's. There's got to be some connection, and she's been heading in that general direction." He laid it out neatly, and my head lowered again, mulling over this new information.

"Obsessed…"

_When we first met Nami, she hated pirates enough that she actively didn't want to sail with us. I'm pretty sure that pirates did something to her parents, but I don't know what. I suppose it's possible that Arlong killed them, but I don't have anything to support that theory. I don't know why she would need so much money though, she's shown far more of an obsession with that than with anything else, so this new fixation on Arlong is something I don't have any data for._

My eyes flicked back and forth, attempting to piece together the puzzle before sighing. "There's something I'm missing." I murmured.

"Impel Down?" Usopp was still stuck on my brief review of Arlong's history, and growing paler by the minute.

"It's a prison in Grand Line where they keep extremely dangerous individuals." I informed him. He swallowed noisily.

"S-so Arlong is dangerous? W-we should just find the Merry and leave then!" The sniper exclaimed.

_Absolutely not. Nami's more important than the ship._

I pinned Usopp with a _look._ "Luffy told me a while back that he wants Nami to be our navigator, and no one else. We're going to find out why she left, and we're going to bring both her and the Merry back." I explained. Usopp subsided, but still looked scared.

"So how we gonna do it?"

I looked down at the groggily blinking swordsman laying on the deck next to me, and suddenly smiled as he began to attempt to lever himself upwards. My fingers gripped his chin, turning his head so he was looking straight at me. His steel grey eyes widened at the sight of my unnaturally wide, obviously fake smile.

"Roronoa Zoro," I said pleasantly, voice smooth and sickeningly sweet. "if you even _think_ about moving, _I will fucking_ _ **sit**_ _on you until we reach Arlong Park."_

He lay back down, flushing slightly. I let go of his chin and leaned back against the hull of the ship.

"Uhhhh… is he…?" Johnny whispered to Usopp.

"Demon-king. He can devour your very soul. Luffy said he was a vampire, but I've never seen him drink blood." Usopp whispered right back. I ignored them.

"And to answer your question, if Nami really is obsessed with Arlong, then we'll probably end up dealing with him in some capacity later. We need to find the Merry first though, and then we can find our navigator." I informed Zoro.

"Sounds good."

* * *

We never did manage to figure out how Yosaku ended up being kidnapped by a shark that afternoon. Johnny said something about fishing, but Usopp said that he didn't find any fishing gear on the little boat. Said sniper was of the opinion that Arlong was sending assassin sharks after us, having become aware of us and actually _caring_ for some reason. Zoro shot down that idea faster than Luffy could say "Rubber Pistol", and decided that Johnny had come up with some kind of new training regimen. When I put forth the fact that actually, riding sea sharks was pretty common if you got the right breed and they were of the proper temperament, I got a trio of sideways looks and a muttered _'oh god does that actually happen'_ from Usopp.

Despite pestering when we caught up with him later, Yosaku never told us what went down. This gave rise to the theory that he had been attempting to elope with the shark. It was utterly ridiculous of course, but the mere threat of spreading the rumor was the whole point.

He still didn't tell us.

Bastard.

* * *

It must have been approaching noon when we finally reached Arlong Park. It was a tall, multi-story pagoda-style building that opened into the bay, and the entire thing was surrounded by a dark brick wall.

_Ostentatious._

"W-we're here…" Johnny stammered, peeking over the hull. Zoro (who was finally allowed to sit up and move around after a rather heated argument between us that doesn't bear repeating) glanced over his shoulder at the structure, hand on his one remaining sword.

"Are you really sure Nami is here?" Usopp's fingers were white-knuckled against the railing, and his legs were shaking. I frowned at their backs from where I was leaning against the side of the cabin.

_Wimps._

"You both are worrying too much. We need to find the Merry." I ordered. My words were accompanied by the _shink_ of Zoro's sword sliding half-an-inch out of its sheath.

"And then we cut our way in?" He asked, dead serious.

"AS IF!" was Johnny's response.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT? WE DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON YET!" Usopp shrilled. I rolled my eyes at their antics.

"Enough. We'll need to find out where Nami went anyway, so we might as well ask there first. After all, if she was obsessed with Arlong, then she might be in danger." I said. Usopp and Johnny gave each other a look of desperation, and I sighed.

"Enough. Johnny, keep an eye out for the ship." I said, and walked into the little cabin. I sighed, cracked my neck, and picked up a roll of bandages just as the door swung open behind me again.

"I need to cha-" I said, and heard something whistling behind me.

_Wha-_

**WHAM**

My knees buckled and my vision swam – _can't move my arms why can't I move my arms –_ someone dragged me outside – _can't stand either the sky is so pretty –_ "The fuck are you idiots doing?" someone growled – _why am I using Zoro as a backrest he's hurt let me up – **darkness.**_

* * *

I dragged myself back to consciousness, spots swimming in my eyes. I blinked, and the spots were replaced with tan skin, green hair, and Zoro's ear. I frowned, sluggishly realizing that my head was lolling back onto Zoro's shoulder.

"Z'ro, why'm'I usin' you as'a pillow?" I slurred into his neck. He craned around to look at me, giving me a view of the underside of his jaw and the inside of his nose while the one eye I could see examined me carefully. His eyebrow started twitching madly, _why_ I wasn't sure.

" _Johnny."_ He growled, his voice reverberating through his chest and into my back as he faced front, leaving me to ponder the mysteries of his inner ear again. This was when I realized that my arms were tugged uncomfortably high behind my back, each wrist apparently tied to the opposite elbow securely.

"Wha.." I managed to lift my head high enough to look down at myself. My ankles were bound together with rope, and my torso was likewise trussed up. I felt hands not my own clenching into fists at the small of my back.

_The hell's goin' on?_

"There it is! I found the Merry!" I heard Johnny say.

"What are you idiots doing? Untie us, now!" Zoro barked. He leaned forward and the ropes binding us together brought me right along with him. My head swam, and I let it fall back against his shoulder, eyes squeezed shut. The other two occupants of the boat ignored him, and he snarled.

"What a weird place to dock. It's just off of where the map has a 'Cocoyashi Village' marked." Johnny said, and I heard paper rustling.

_Map, oh, they're looking at a map._

"I said untie us!" the swordsman snapped.

"That's enough." I heard Usopp say, and then felt Zoro stiffen and flinch, muscles cording tightly. "Look at yourself, you're about to faint just from yelling!" Usopp's voice was accompanied by the sound of slaps that coincided with Zoro's flinching.

_Flinching: denotes pain, slapping sound, Zoro's wound, Usopp is hitting Zoro in his wound while Zoro can't fight back?_

" _ **Usopp. Stop hitting Zoro."**_ I snarled, forcing myself to speak clearly and slowly. The slapping stopped and Zoro slowly relaxed against me.

"Just leave it to me, Kai! I'll bring Nami back!" Usopp said, bright and full of false bravado. My brain started working again finally, despite the steady throb that started drumming into the back of my skull.

_What... Okay we're tied up, and I got brained pretty badly. They were... scared of going to Arlong Park? What... what do they think they're going to do if we get attacked by fishmen? Is it **possible** to be stupid enough to really think that tying up the strongest fighters of your group when entering hostile territory is a good idea?_

"I'm going to fucking kill them." I hissed into Zoro's ear, teeth bared and eyes clenched shut.

"I'll help." He replied, voice feral.

"Well, aren't you suddenly cheerful now that you know we aren't going to Arlong Park…" I heard Johnny say, with a hint of 'what-have-I-gotten-myself-into' in his voice.

"Starboard to the Going Merry! Bring me right up next to her!" Usopp ordered.

"Aye, aye." Was the bland response.

"Alright! The adventure about to unfold as I bravely step foot on these virgin lands will hereby be known as 'The Warrior Usopp's Great Adventure!' Fitting title, eh Johnny-boy?" The long-nosed idiot bragged.

"Aye, aye." Johnny sounded very much done with Usopp's shit already.

And then we floated past a dock and stared at a trio of fishmen.

"Full speed ahead." Usopp intoned.

"Aye, aye."

…

"THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Zoro raged, his earrings tinkling as he jerked his head for emphasis.

"DIDN'T YOU SEE THEM? THERE WERE FISHMEN! THE ARLONG PIRATES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I'M FREAKIN' SCARED OUT OF MY WITS, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? DO YA, PUNK?" Usopp screamed.

"It's no good… this entire region seems to be under Arlong's control. What should we do, Usopp-bro?" Johnny asked.

"Well, now that we know we can't bring Nami back…" Usopp mused.

_The fuck are you talking about? Luffy said to bring her back, so we need to bring her back! You don't have any goddamn loyalty, do you?_

"THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?" Zoro snarled as I heard a yelped 'ABANDON SHIP!' and twin splashes. "WAIT A SECOND!" Zoro positively _screamed_ , lunging forward as much as he was able. **"UNTIE US, YOU BASTARDS!"**

"Stop the ship!"  
"Oh, there's only two of them?"

A fishman heaved himself onto the boat in my field of view and crouched down. His eyes ran over the ropes and my back-to-back position against Zoro before stopping on the bandages still completely covering my torso. A feral expression crossed my features, but I said nothing.

"The other two mutinied, huh?" He asked finally.

"Yes. Yes they did." I hissed, furious.

"Ohhh. Those must be torture wounds then?" A new voice said from behind me.

"Well, we should take them to Arlong." The fishman I could see replied, standing and moving towards the tiller.

* * *

"Open the gates and let us in! We found some suspicious humans!" One of the fishmen called as we reached the gates of Arlong Park again. There was a grinding noise, and we sailed in.

The interior of the building was set around a long entryway for fishmen, I assumed, given that it opened up onto the seafloor. Various fishfolk were scattered around the sides, watching as the fishmen on the boat with us docked smoothly. A few cut ropes later, Zoro and I were separated from one another and dragged out of the boat and towards the large shark-fishman reclining at the head of the entrance.

_Tall, blue-purple skin, saw nose, Sun Pirates tattoo, Arlong Pirates tattoo. That's got to be Arlong._

"Hey, we found these humans over by Cocoyashi." The fishman dragging Zoro said as he forced Zoro to sit in front of Arlong with his back to the docking bay. I was seated beside the swordsman, and got comfortable as I could under the scrutiny of Arlong. The fishman leaned forward, one elbow resting on his knee, and looked me over carefully.

"Just what are two humans doing in my territory?" He asked, and I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Just trying to find a woman. Wouldn't even be here if it weren't for her running in this direction." I said tiredly before opening my eyes again.

"Hahaha!" The shark fishman laughed, with another glance over my attire. "While I do believe women probably run away from you a lot, I don't believe that's why you're here. Looking to take my bounty?" He insulted and dismissed me in a single breath.

"Nope. Not interested. I've told you the truth." I shrugged as best I could. Arlong snorted and turned his gaze on Zoro.

"You've been quiet. Maybe you'll tell me why you two are really here." He said menacingly, and Zoro's brow furrowed.

"We're here looking for a woman, you half-fish mutant!" He snapped.

_You tell 'im, Zoro._

There was a long pause before Arlong sneered at him. "A human dares to insult me? Ha. I'll forgive you this once," and Arlong's sneer became unnaturally wide, showing off his teeth, "but don't you ever call us half-fish again. We fishmen are 'evolved humans' who can breathe underwater. We're a higher order of beings than you puny humans. Our innate strength is proof of that." He boasted, and raised his hands in the air. "In short, we are 'Lords of Creation'. Get that through your dense head!"

Nami walked out of the building behind Arlong, tall and proud and not showing an ounce of fear.

_She knows Arlong. Arlong hates humans. He's making an exception for Nami. Nami is the best navigator I've ever seen, whether here or in Grand Line. Nami hates pirates. Arlong is the reason Nami hates pirates. Arlong has something on Nami, has some way to keep her trapped here with him?_

"Arlong." The orange haired woman said, eyes cutting sideways at the fishman when she drew even with his chair. "I'm sick of hearing you blab on about that stupid pet theory of yours." She said sternly.

Zoro jerked forward beside me. "Na…" He cut himself off just as abruptly as he had begun.

Arlong laughed. "No need to look so scary! You're different of course. No one else makes as accurate maps as you do."

Nami snorted at him through her nose. "Of course. My brain is of a much 'higher order' than any of yours." She bragged casually.

"Nami, why are you so friendly with these guys?" Zoro gritted, a vein in his forehead throbbing.

Arlong glanced between the three of us before giving her a strange look. "You know these two, Nami?" He asked her. She sighed and began walking down towards us.

"They're just some of my victims. I was able to swindle a huge amount of money from them during my recent haul." She said, and crouched to sit in front of Zoro.

_Not me, because she doesn't want me realizing what's going on._

"I knew you were chasing me for a while, but I didn't think you'd actually make it here." She said softly, mockingly. A muscle in Zoro's jaw tensed.

"Is this your true self?" He asked.

"That's right. Surprised? I'm an officer of the Arlong Pirates. I was one before we met." She informed him, and Arlong started laughing.

"She had you completely strung along!" He chortled. "This girl would do anything for the sake of money, even forget the death of her own parent!" Nami's expression changed so quickly that had I not been looking for it I would have missed it.

_Arlong killed her parents. Arlong definitely has some kind of hold over her._

"She's a real cold-blooded witch!" Arlong was still going. "Swindling people out of their money is second nature for her, and she's got us as her backup!" He said, grin far too wide.

"Ah. So that's how it is." I said. "I'm honestly not very surprised, considering that I had my suspicions about her from the beginning." My voice was calm and steady, and Nami smirked at me while Zoro raised an eyebrow in my direction.

"Well that makes things easier then. Just give up on making me your navigator and disappear already." She said, sneering at me.

I pushed backward off the ground as hard as I could, and smirked at her before I hit the water.

_Cold…can't move._

I sank like a stone, unable to even twitch as the water completely sapped me of my energy and strength. My breath rose in little bubbles from my mouth and nose as the surface got further and further away. I closed my eyes just as a slender figure dived into the water, wrapped an arm around my waist, and heaved.

_Knew it._

My head cleared the water, and Nami cursed at me as she pulled me over to the landing.

"What's the meaning of this, Nami?" I heard Arlong call from across the park. The orangette ignored him in favor of hauling me up onto the pavement.

"What were you doing?" She gritted, and I coughed up water before smiling nastily.

"I could ask you the same thing. You talk tough, but you can't act on it." I whispered, and then grinned. "Oh, and be a little faster next time. I thought I was going to die." I snarked.

She stomped her heel into my arms. "DON'T GET COCKY WITH ME!" She yelled, and proceeded to haul me upright by the neck. "If you get involved with me anymore than this, you're a dead man." She hissed at me, expression desperate.

_Protecting us, hmm?_

"Nami, I've been a dead man walking for two years, you think a little longer is going to actually kill me?" I asked her dryly, and she glanced down at my bandaged torso before burying her fist into my gut, right where I had been stabbed by Buggy and slashed by Kuro.

I dropped like a stone and she walked away, shaking out her fist.

"What are you gonna do with them, Nami?" Arlong asked.

"Lock them up for now, I'll deal with them later." She replied, and then I was being hauled upwards again by a fishman and dragged off.

* * *

The cell they shoved us into was spartan. It had a few barrels in one corner, and the lower section of the cell had bars running across it that let in light from the outside. Overall, I'd have given it a 2 out of 10. There was really no ambiance, no style... no sense of 'You are never getting out of here alive', if you will.

"I'd like to complain about our accommodations to the management!" I called at the fishmen's backs while they shut the cell door behind us. They didn't answer, choosing to leave instead. I huffed as they left. "Rude."

There was enough light for Zoro's incredulous expression to be visible. "Kai, what the fuck was that?" He asked succinctly.

"I finally got enough data. Kindof." I replied, still lying on my side, hood flung over my face.

"And you decided to drown yourself to test a theory?" He questioned, leaning forward, one eyebrow creeping towards his hairline.

"Something like that, yea. When we get out of here, we need to beat Arlong up." I informed him.

"I like this plan." He said with a bloodthirsty grin.

"Thought you would." I chuckled.

We relaxed in silence for about half an hour before the cell door swung open. Nami stood in the doorway, a dagger in hand, and a tense look on her face.

"Nami?" I asked. She ignored me, and placed Zoro's sword in front of him before moving behind him. Rope snapped, and Zoro's arms came around in front of him, ropes sawed cleanly through.

"Get out of here before Arlong comes back." She said as she moved towards the door.

"Nami." I said to her back. Her footsteps halted. "Why are you working for someone you hate, someone who killed your parents? And don't even try to tell me that you don't hate him, it's written all over your face." I asked.

"It's none of your business." She snapped, and the door swung shut behind her. Zoro sighed, and drew his sword. A few slices later, and we were free of the ropes. I rubbed feeling back into my hands as I stood.

"Shall we go beat up some fishmen?" I suggested, and a smirk spread across Zoro's lips.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

We cleared the top of the stairs and were met by a school of fishmen staring at us in various shades of disbelief.

"Hey, didn't we just lock you guys up?" One asked. I laughed and rolled my shoulders.

"I'll take the ones on the right." I said, and Zoro shrugged, drawing his sword.

"Fine by me." He replied, and we charged.

The next few minutes were a whirlwind of fists and blades and blood and screams. I punched the last fishman on my side in the face and turned to watch Zoro dispatch the last fishman in a single blow.

"Tch. These guys weren't even a warm-up." He grumbled, and crossed to Arlong's throne-like chair. I toed the fishman on the ground in front of me experimentally.

"Right? 'Higher order' of beings, my ass." I complained, and peeled a very nice dark blue short-sleeved shirt with a lighter blue pattern off one of the downed enemies. I snapped it in the air a few times to get the dust and dirt off of it, and walked over to drop it on Zoro's head.

"Put that on." I said over the sound of him cursing at me, and looted a dark grey shirt with orange starbursts on it for myself before stripping out of Yosaku's soaked green jacket. I also found a nice dark blue sash to replace my makeshift red belt, and began replacing my outfit.

"So where do you think Arlong went?" Zoro called over to me as I finished tying the sash around my waist. I eyed his appearance critically before scrounging him up one as well.

"I've got no idea. He'll be back though, so we can wait here for him." I shrugged, and threw the sash at him. He caught it easily, and wrapped it around his waist, sliding his sword through one of the loops before leaning back.

"True. It's not like we've got anything to do other than that. We promised Luffy we'd bring Nami back anyway." He said, and folded his hands behind his head. "Looks like we landed ourselves in the middle of a complicated situation." He summarized, and I shrugged.

"It's a mess alright, but that's pretty normal for us." I grinned, and he barked a laugh.

A horn sounded from somewhere close by, and I tilted my head to listen for it. Zoro frowned and stood.

"What's that noise?" He asked, and I walked over to the wall separating Arlong Park from the sea.

"I think it's coming from over here." I called over, and scrambled up to look over the edge. Zoro made his way over and up a moment later, and we stared down at a six-armed octopus fishman who was holding a stick of meat in one hand and a fishing pole in another. Zoro and I gave each other a look before the swordsman heaved himself upwards to sit on the wall.

"Are you the one who blew the trumpet just now?" He asked, and the fishman spun around with a surprised sound.

_Sun Pirate symbol on his forehead. Arlong must have brought him with him._

"W-who are you? Oh, Me? I'm Hacchan! You can call me Hachi!" He said, not answering the question at all.

"Ah, so you're a fishman too?" Zoro questioned, and Hachi set down the fishing pole an meat in order to break out into a small interpretive dance step, all six arms noodling to the side.

"Yup, yup! I'm a charming octopus fishman!" He said, and I smothered a laugh.

_Ohhh man. Charming indeed._

"I feel like I've seen you two before! Are you with the marines, or are you a guest?" He asked as I pulled myself up to sit beside Zoro, one leg dangling off the side and the other crossed over my knee. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder at the piles of unconscious fishmen haphazardly strewn about before turning back to the octopus-man with a wide grin.

"We're guests!" I said, already mentally moving on.

_Now why would the marines be involved with Arlong?_

"Ahh." Hachi hummed. "But Arlong's not here right now." He said, one arm scratching at the back of his head.

"Yea, we realized that. Where'd he go?" I asked, and the octopus raised three fingers.

"It seems that there's a long-nosed intruder on the island, and he got away from us. We already have two of his companions locked up, so Arlong went to Cocoyashi village to catch him." He replied. Zoro and I gave each other a look before we let out twin sighs.

_Better go rescue the coward._

"I see. How do we get there?" Zoro asked, and Hachi grinned, pointing at a large jug floating next to him in the surf.

"Hop in! You're a guest, so I'll give you a lift!" He said, and I grinned right back.

_Sucker._

"Oh, I see! Thank you very much!" I beamed, and pushed off the wall, landing lightly on my feet. Zoro followed me down moments later, and we managed to get inside the jug without any mishaps. It was, unfortunately, a tight squeeze with two of us.

"That had better be your sword poking me in the back." I deadpanned while pressed against the lip of the jug.

"Like it'd be anything else!" Zoro snapped, his body a few scant inches away from mine as we gripped the sides of the overgrown pottery piece. I felt his body temperature rocket, and my shoulders shook in silent laughter.

_You are far, far too easy to rile up._

"Alright! Off we go!" Hachi wrapped a set of his arms around the jug and took off swimming. I rocked backwards from the force of the movement, colliding with Zoro, who let out a pained hiss even as his right arm curled around my waist.

"Shit. You okay?" I fretted, and he shifted, spreading his legs as wide as possible to brace himself.

"I'm fine." He grunted, breath hot against my ear. My mind shot back to –

_Warmth against my back that was not there a second ago, breath ghosting across my earlobe, "He won't even see me." – hot air against the side of my face as sand swirled around me, "I spent a lot of money on you. And I intend to get my money's worth."_

I had a hand clamped onto the arm around my waist before I could even think about it. A second later I realized that my eyes were blown wide, my breathing harsh and irregular, and I was shivering uncontrollably.

"Kai?"

"I'm fine." I forced my voice to be perfectly even, tense muscles relaxing. I let go of his arm, but he kept it around my waist for the rest of the trip, not asking me anything else.

* * *

"We're here!" Hachi crowed a half-hour later as Zoro and I clambered out of the jug, pointedly not looking at one another. The town was pretty basic, a wood and thatched-roof village with a dirt road winding through the center of it. Hachi propped himself up on the dock and pointed in various directions. "Arlong should be around here somewhere!" He said cheerily, and Zoro turned back to look at the fishman.

"Alright, thanks." He said, hands loose at his sides. Hachi smiled and latched onto his pot again before swimming off with a wave.

"Don't mention it! Take care, and come visit again!" He called, and Zoro lifted a hand as the fishman plowed through the water.

"Yeah… He was a strange guy." He commented, and I sighed, taking another glance at the village.

"Agreed." I replied, and stretched before stuffing my hands in my pockets. Zoro put a hand on his sword and regarded the town for a moment.

"So Arlong's supposed to be here?" He asked, and I shrugged.

"We should find our sniper first." I pointed out, and we started walking. Zoro shot a sideways glance at me, and I hunched my shoulders, looking away. "Let's ask around. Maybe someone's seen him." I muttered, and sped up, embarrassed.

_I hate being seen as weak._

"Alright." Zoro said blandly, boot heels thudding along behind me, keeping pace. We got closer to the town proper, and I stopped the first man I saw.

"Scuse me, sorry, but have you seen a guy in overalls with a long nose?" I asked, and the man's eyes widened somewhat.

"Oh, the long-nose? I saw one of the fishmen taking him to Arlong Park." He said, gesturing widely.

… _WE JUST CAME FROM THERE!_

"WHAT? He got taken to _Arlong Park?"_ Zoro snapped, knuckles turning white on his sword hilt.

"Yea, it was about fifteen minutes ago." The man said, and I fisted a hand in my hair.

"Fuck!" I snarled, then found myself blinking at the empty space Zoro had previously occupied. A confused 'What?' tumbled out of my mouth before I spotted him making tracks out of town.

_Fucking hell._

"YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!" I shouted, chasing him down.

* * *

"You know, I'm impressed." I commented as we ran. We were about halfway to Arlong Park, by my estimation, and the scenery I'm sure would have been lovely had I actually stopped to look at it.

"Oh?"

"Yea. For someone who got practically cut in half earlier today, you're really doing a good job of keeping up." I complimented.

"THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" Zoro yelled. I laughed, but stopped when I heard the sound of something plowing through the forest on our right.

"The hell is that noise?" I asked, head snapping towards the treeline.

"….aaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"Maybe someone dropped a bomb here or something?" Zoro replied.

"aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA"

"A bomb? _Seriously?_ " I pulled a face at him. He scowled.

"AAAAAAAAAAA _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_ "

"Do you have any better ide-"

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAA_ _ **AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_

Zoro and I turned as we finally registered the sound of someone screaming, and gazed in horror at the _boat flying through the trees straight at us._ Luffy, Sanji, and Yosaku could be made out on the deck, and Luffy stopped screaming and perked up at the sight of us. "Oh, hi Zoro, Kai!" Our idiot of a captain called.

"Luffy…" Zoro tried to run, eyes wide.

I rolled my eyes heavenward, accepting my fate. "Luffy, you fucking son of a-"

**WHAAAAMMMMMM**

The hull of the boat slammed into me, lifting me off my feet and carrying me across the field that had previously been on my left. The world spun as I was flung into the ground and beams from the now-destroyed boat rained down on me.

_Ow._

"THE HELL DO YOU THIINK YOU'RE DOING?" I heard Zoro screech, and shoved one of the heavier beams off me, sitting up. Luffy was brushing himself off, Sanji was seated casually on one of the more intact pieces, and Yosaku was ass-up, hairy legs aimed at the sky.

"What do you mean?" Luffy asked nonchalantly. "We're here to get Nami back. Haven't you found her yet? Where's Usopp and Johnny?"

"Crap, Usopp!" Zoro got to his feet and shook his head briefly. "Now's not the time to be goofing off!" He said, and hauled me to my feet.

"What's wrong?" Luffy asked us, frowning.

"Usopp got caught by Arlong. If we don't make it in time, he's going to get ki-" I was cut off by the sound of Johnny's voice.

"HE WAS ALREADY KILLED!"

_What?_

We spun around as a group to look at the dark haired bounty hunter who had approached us from the path. He was shaking, and was panting for breath.

"It's too late." He said, and Zoro stilled.

"Johnny?" He asked, a hand on his sword and a note of disbelief in his voice.

"NAMI-SIS MURDERED USOPP-BRO!" Johnny yelled, tears falling down his face from behind his sunglasses.

_Nami wouldn't let me drown in front of her. She let Zoro and I go, knowing Arlong would try to kill us later. She's been trying to protect us. Ergo, she didn't kill Usopp, but managed to let him go somehow._

Luffy's expression twisted angrily and he leaped forward, punching Johnny in the face. "SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I SWEAR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!" He snarled, and Zoro lunged to pull him off Johnny.

"Luffy, stop! It's not as if Johnny's the one at fault here!" The swordsman tried to reason, and Luffy jerked away from Zoro's grip.

"WELL HE'S MAKING UP BULLCRAP! THERE'S NO WAY THAT NAMI WOULD KILL USOPP! WE'RE CREWMATES!"

"I agree, Captain." I said, arms crossed and expression carefully bland.

" _Who's_ your crewmate, Luffy?" came Nami's voice, and I flickered a look over her as she strolled up the road from Arlong Park with a mocking smile on her lips and a dead look in her eyes.

_Glove on her non-dominant hand is new, she's holding it stiffly. Injury, maybe?_

"You are." Luffy said, clapping a hand on the top of his hat. "That's why we're here, of course."

Nami crossed her arms, looking bored. "Well, you're nothing but a nuisance." She said, and sneered. "And don't make me laugh. I'm not your crewmate. That was nothing more than a stupid little heist."

"Na-mi!" Sanji swooned, "It's me! Do you remember me? Let's set sail together! ~3" I blinked at the heart that formed at the end of his sentence, and reached out with a fingertip to pop it, momentarily distracted.

_What an interesting ability._

"Shut up! Can't you see that you're making things more complicated?" Zoro's response was more combative than mine.

"What was that?" Sanji gritted, getting in the swordsman's face. "Don't you know love is always a hurricane?"

_Oh, these two are going to be going at it like cats and dogs._

"I TOLD YOU! SHE'S A WITCH, A COLD BLOODED WITCH!" Johnny's voice cut through the background chatter as he snarled at Nami. "YOU'VE ALL BEEN HAD! AND I SWEAR I SAW HER STABBING USOPP!"

_Stabbing Usopp, glove on hand, holding arm stiffly..._

"So what? Would you like to avenge him?" Nami mocked. I laughed before anyone else could reply, causing everyone to look at me.

"Maybe if he was actually dead, but he isn't. Nice glove, Nami. Tell me, how did you get Usopp out of Arlong Park after stabbing yourself in order to fake his death?" I asked, and she _froze._

"Eh? Is that what happened?" Luffy asked me, and I nodded.

"Yep."

Nami tried to brush me off casually, but failed when her voice shook. "Let me tell you something. After the idiotic stunt Zoro and Kai pulled, Arlong wants all of you dead. No matter how monstrously strong you all may be, you're no match at all for real monsters."

"Is that so?" I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Yes. Just leave. Get off this island. Take the ship back and go find another navigator and go search for your little One Piece or whatever." Nami hissed at me. I glanced over at Luffy, who returned my look before giving a miniscule shrug and falling backwards onto the ground.

"Kai, I'm going to sleep." He informed me, and proceeded to close his eyes.

"SLEEP?" Johnny screeched at him. "IN THIS EMERGENCY? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?"

"I don't feel like leaving, and I don't really care what's going on here either, and I'm sleepy." He said, getting comfortable. "So I'm gonna sleep."

"Alright." I shrugged, and moved off to lay in the grass at the side of the road.

Nami did not take this well.

" **FINE! DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT! YOU CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE!"** She screamed at us before storming off. Sanji watched her go, then took a seat against a tree next to me and lit a cigarette.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into?" He wondered aloud, and I chuckled.

"This is pretty normal, actually."

" _Wonderful."_

"You'll fit right in in no time." I reassured him. He didn't look convinced.

* * *

Zoro had seated himself on the road by my feet, and Johnny and Yosaku approached him after conferring amongst themselves.

"You all are out of your minds. Usopp-bro's been killed, no matter what Kai-bro says, and Arlong's out to get us! Just what reason do you have to stay here any longer?" Yosaku asked, and Zoro lifted an eyebrow at them before sighing.

"If Kai says Usopp's alive, I believe him." The swordsman said firmly. Yosaku scowled.

"Well I believe what Johnny said he saw!"

Johnny, for his part, shook his head at us. "It's only been a short while, but this is where we must part. We have no desire to be hunted down and killed by Arlong." He said.

"Fine." Zoro said dismissively. The two began walking away from Arlong Park quite quickly.

"May we meet again someday!" Yosaku called.

"Take care, my brothers!" Johnny called as well.

"You too." Zoro responded, and then it was three. Well, four if you counted a soundly sleeping Luffy.

...

_This is somewhat awkward._

_..._

"Hey." Sanji finally said, and Zoro glanced over his shoulder at him.

"What?"

"Do you really think Nami killed Long-nose?" The blond asked. Zoro shook his head.

"Kai said she didn't, so she didn't. Nami was pretty small time, so-"

And then Sanji was leaping at his face, leg chambered for a kick. "NAMI'S BREASTS AREN'T SMALL TIME!" the cook roared.

Zoro blocked the strike automatically, teeth bared and eyes flashing angrily. "IS THAT CALL YOU CAN THINK ABOU…"

"GUH-ACK!"

"Looks like I was wrong. Usopp's dead now." I commented, glancing over at the sniper who had gotten himself caught between the two attacks and was simultaneously being kicked and hit with a sword sheath.

"No… I'm still alive…" Usopp wheezed as he collapsed onto his knees. I stood and plastered on my best evil smile while cracking my knuckles menacingly.

"Not for lo _oooo_ ong!" I sang.

Zoro tackled me to the ground.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO HELPING ME KILL HIM?!" I snarled, internally bemoaning the fact that Zoro was injured and I couldn't actually fight him for fear of hurting him.

"NOT NOW, DAMNIT!" He snapped back. I caught a glimpse of Sanji's cigarette falling out of his mouth before I was too busy to notice anything else.

* * *

"USOPP! USOPP! DID NAMI DO THIS TO YOU?" Luffy was yelling at a still somewhat out-of-it Usopp. Zoro was sitting on my back, idly twisting one of my arms up against my spine. Sanji was smiling nervously.

"Ahhhh, no. That was actually our fault." He told Luffy, pointing at Zoro and then himself.

"You mean just you." The swordsman groused.

Usopp finally came to his senses, and pushed himself out of Luffy's rubbery embrace. "Ah, Luffy! You're here!" He exclaimed. Sanji leaned into the sniper's field of view with a smile and a wave.

"I've decided to join you guys. Nice to meet you." He said politely, and Usopp's eyes practically bugged out of his head.

"You! I'll kill you one of these days!" He snapped, clearly remembering who was responsible for almost kicking him into the afterlife.

"That's _my_ line ow ow ow ow ow!" Zoro applied a bit more pressure casually before easing off again.

"You calm yet?" He asked, sounding amused.

"You're heavy. Get off. Fatass." I grumbled.

"That didn't answer my question." He pointed out.

I grumbled some more before deciding to let it go for the moment. "Fine, I won't kill the fucking long-nose. Let me up already."

"Look, either way, Nami saved my life." Usopp was telling Luffy as I got to my feet and brushed myself off. "There must be some reason why she ended up joining the Arlong Pirates." He told us seriously.

_You're a bit behind on the information train there, **buddy.**_

"It's useless. No matter what you do, you won't be able to change anything." Someone said behind us, and I spun. A blue haired woman stood on the path, a long swirling tattoo taking up most of her right arm.

_I really need to become more observant, because everyone and their dog has been sneaking up on me today. First it was Johnny, then it was a fucking **flying boat** , then it was Johnny again, then Nami, and now this chick._

"Who're you?" was what I allowed to fall out of my lips. Usopp gave me a wary side-glance.

"That's Nami's sister, Nojiko." He told me.

Sanji's reaction was driven by his base instincts. "N-n-nami's sister? ~3" _There's that damn heart again._ "It's no wonder why she's so beautiful then!" He said. His visible eye turned heart shaped, and small hearts began floating up from around him. I popped one of them experimentally and frowned.

_Some sort of medical condition, maybe?_

"…You should probably get that looked at." I told him.

Zoro ran a hand down his face and decided to get the conversation back on track. "What do you mean, useless?" He asked Nojiko. She put a hand on her hip and studied us for a moment before replying.

"I'll tell you about Nami's past and what Arlong's done here, but after that I want you all to leave quietly." She bargained. Zoro shrugged and took a seat against a tree, Sanji sat down on the grass, and Luffy stared at the woman blankly.

"I'm fine. I'm not really interested in her past." He said, and began moseying down the path. "I'm taking a walk."

"Alright, have fun." I called. The bluenette cocked an eyebrow as he trotted off.

"What's with him?" She asked.

"Don't mind him. That's just how he is." Zoro grinned. I took over.

"So, Nojiko. I know that Arlong has some kind of hold over Nami, because he killed your parents, but I'm not sure whether it was your mother or your father. I also know that Arlong absolutely hates humans, and that the only possible reason he could have for keeping Nami around is for her navigation and cartography skills. They're positively unreal, and that means quite a bit coming from me." Nojiko's jaw was hanging open slightly at this point. "My question is, what exactly is keeping Nami here? What does Arlong have on her?"

Crickets chirped.

"Everyone always underestimates our tactician." Zoro's voice positively _dripped_ with smug satisfaction. Nojiko took a deep breath before answering my question.

"Arlong killed our mother eight years ago. He shot her in the head, right in front of us." She whispered, and the four of us listening to her story could have been carved from stone for all that we moved. "He made Nami become his navigator. Him and his pirates… they threatened to kill us all if she didn't comply, and told her she could buy the village if she could get 100 million beli together."

_And then all the puzzle pieces snapped into place._

"I see." I said distantly.

"So she joined the pirates who killed her mother in order to save her village?" Usopp looked as if he was about to cry.

Sanji's reaction was a bit more aggressive. "I WON'T LET ANYONE WHO HURTS NAMI LIVE!" The cook screamed, and Nojiko hit him on the back of the head with a panicked expression.

"I came here to tell you not to do anything stupid! If you get involved with her now, the fishmen will get suspicious, and her plans will be ruined!" She exclaimed while I stood up. "Don't cause any more trouble for her!"

"Nojiko." I got her attention. "What you're telling me is that for the last eight years, Nami has essentially been Arlong's slave." My voice was frigid. "I. Will. Not. Let. That. Stand."

I started walking down the path where Luffy had gone, and heard three pairs of footsteps fall in behind me.

_Arlong, I will fucking murder you for this._

* * *

We found Luffy and Nami by following the screaming.

" _ARLONG!"_

Nami's shoulder, the one that the Arlong Pirates mark was tattooed onto, was bleeding heavily. Luffy's grip on Nami's wrist was the only thing preventing her from further self-mutilation.

"Luffy!" She snapped. He didn't respond, and she turned away, shoulders tense. "What is it now? You don't know anything!"

"Nope." Was his simple reply. "I don't know anything."

Her fist closed around a handful of sand and she threw it at him. "It's none of your business!" She shouted at him. He didn't even blink, and still said nothing. Tears began coursing down her cheeks. "I told you… to get off this island!" Her sobs shook her thin form as she sat there in the dirt.

"You've already told me that." Luffy's patient response was.

Her shoulders shook as she looked over her shoulder at him.

"Luffy."

Her voice sounded so _broken._

" _Help me."_

Luffy took off his hat, the one thing he treasured above everything else, and placed it on her head before moving to stand in front of her. He took a deep breath.

"OF COURSE I'LL HELP YOU!" He screamed his promise to the world. His eyes were narrowed and steady as he walked up next to me.

"Let's go." He said.

"Aye aye, Captain." Was my only response.


	10. Arlong Park

As we made our way towards Arlong Park, I didn't speak at all. None of us did, but I found I physically couldn't speak past the knot of rage in my throat. Luffy's stride at my side was long and strong, every step filled with the kind of determination I had begun to associate with him and Zoro. It also helped me control the sudden spikes of anger that flared up in my head every time I thought of the piece of shit we were heading to beat up. I took a deep, calming breath, carefully not thinking about anything but the upcoming fight.

As we approached, my eyes flickered over the angry mob gathered at the gates. Villagers wielding makeshift weapons crowded around two figures who stood, swords drawn, in front of the entrance to Arlong Park, blocking them from entering.

"Johnny. Yosaku." My voice rose over the din, and the two bounty hunters lowered their weapons as the crowd parted to make way for us.

"You're here." Johnny said. I absently noted that the two of them looked even more beat up than previously, and were moving stiffly.

"Move." Luffy ordered, and after they had done so, cocked his fist and punched. With a shriek of metal and cracking wood, the doors flew off their hinges and plowed straight through the courtyard, carrying several fishmen with them before coming to a crashing halt against the opposite wall.

"Which one's Arlong?" He asked me, even as the _**trash**_ sitting on his throne glared at him.

I took another deep breath, willing myself to be calm.

"Arlong?" the trash answered for me. "That would be me." He said, lounging backwards in his chair. My captain strode towards him, and the rest of us spread to cover his back.

"I'm Luffy." He announced.

"Luffy. I see. And just what the hell are you?" the trash sneered.

"A pirate." Was the answer my captain gave in return, still walking forward.

"Hold up." One of the fishmen (idiot that he was) attempted to stop Luffy's advance. "Where d'ya think you're going? We can't have you walk through without talkin' to us first." His buddy chimed in, and I almost felt pity for them. One of them laid a hand on Luffy's shoulder, as if that would stop him.

Luffy reached up to grab the sides of their heads and threw them into each other, knocking them out instantly. "Move it!" He ordered, and stepped straight over them. I moved to a spot a fair bit behind my captain, watching the fishmen flunkies carefully.

"What does a pirate want with me?" The trash asked, closing his eyes carelessly.

It was his downfall.

Luffy's fist _slammed_ into the side of Arlong's face with enough force to send both him and his chair flying into a cushion of broken door and jagged wood. The collected fishmen promptly lost their shit, and I managed to chuckle slightly.

_If they're that upset about a punch, they'll be even more upset after he's dead._

Luffy snorted like an angry bull as the dust cleared enough for Arlong to be visible again. The fishman glared at my captain from underneath his hat, his mouth twisting angrily.

"Just what the hell…" He began.

Luffy cut him off. "Don't you _**DARE**_ make my navigator cry!" He _snarled._

_That, right there, is the man who will become Pirate King. And I'll be damned if I'm not right there with him._

The fishmen lunged at him en masse, and that was our cue. I _moved,_ halting in front of the closest one, and let my chambered fist fly. It connected solidly with his chest, his bones giving way with sickening _snaps_ beneath my knuckles. The fishman sailed into a group of his fellows, and they went sprawling like bowling pins. Sanji let loose with a flurry of kicks, and Zoro's sword sang through the air in a series of strikes that left the air vibrating in their wake.

"Tch. You're showing off again, Luffy." Our swordsman groused as his sword slid smoothly back into its sheath.

"Huh?"

I straightened back up while Sanji tugged his tie down to hang loosely around his neck. "Don't hog all the glory for yourself." The cook told our captain, and Luffy graced him with a look of sudden understanding.

"Oh." He replied.

Usopp's response was as predictable as he was cowardly. "I d-don't particulary mind either w-w-ay, Luffy." Our sniper said, hands on his hips and eyes aimed at the sky. Zoro snorted at the long-nose over his shoulder.

"Ain't you gutsy?" He commented sarcastically.

The surrounding enemies watched our banter with wide eyes and stunned expressions.

"Roronoa Zoro!"  
"That's 'Godhand' Kai!"

Hachi was among them, and pointed at Zoro and I angrily. "That's them! They're the ones who tricked me!" He exclaimed. "How dare they take me for a ride… No, wait." He backtracked. "I was the one who gave them a ride!"

"That long-nosed human is still alive!"  
"He should have been dead!"

Arlong watched all of this with a shuttered expression. "Pirates, huh." He mused. "I see. So that's how you're all related." Luffy crossed his arms and waited for Arlong to get back up, but the _trash_ didn't do so. Instead, he threw back his head and **laughed.**

"So your goal from the very beginning was only to get Nami, is that it?" He chortled, and I found myself wanting to slit his throat so he couldn't make that disgusting sound any longer. "SHAHAHAHAHA! JUST WHAT COULD FIVE MEASLY HUMANS DO?" He roared incredulously.

_You'll find out._

The sound of a trumpet caused me to glance over at Hachi, who was holding his elongated mouth with one hand. "AS IF ARLONG WOULD FIGHT THE LIKES OF YOU!" He shouted. "I'LL TURN YOU ALL INTO FISH FOOD! MOHMOO, COME OUT!"

The sound he made echoed off Arlong Park and carried on the wind for a long moment before the waterway leading into the courtyard fountained upward, revealing a crying Sea King who had a lump forming on its head and bruises scattered across its snout.

"AAAGGHHH IT'S THE MONSTER!" Usopp shrilled, drawing the Sea King's attention. The sea cow tilted its head in our direction, halting when it spied Luffy and Sanji. My captain and our cook gave the sea cow twin unimpressed looks.

"Oh, him?" Luffy noted casually.

"I guess he's one of them." Sanji remarked.

_They ran into him earlier, then?_

The sea cow trembled, and began retreating back towards the ocean, much to Hachi's dismay. "Mohmoo, wait! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" He yelled at the departing sea king.

"Mohmoo." Arlong said from his broken throne, voice menacingly deep as he stared the sea king down. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The sea king stopped in its tracks, shivering. Arlong regarded it for a moment before lounging back against the crumbled wall. "Well, if you're going to run away, I ain't gonna try to stop you, but…" The last threat remained unvoiced.

The Sea King turned in a split second, looming above us, jaw wide. The fishmen lackeys found their courage and charged along with the sea cow. Faced with a mob charging us, we each did what came naturally. Zoro flicked his sword an inch out of its scabbard, Sanji grinned, shifting onto his front leg, Usopp screamed, and Luffy decided to hog all the fun.

"Leave them to me!" He huffed, slamming his fists together. "They're just a bunch of time-wasters!" And with that, he slammed each of his feet deep into the pavement and wound himself tighter than a spring.

_Grounding himself for a wind up, declaring them a waste of time, largest object in the area is.._

… _Fucking hell, Luffy._

" **DUCK!"** I roared, seconds after Luffy grabbed the Sea King by the horns, and hit the ground.

"What… SHIT!" Zoro was quick on the uptake, and Sanji followed a second later, dragging Usopp down with him.

Luffy un-twisted himself, taking the Sea King with him in a demented game of 'crack-the-whip'. The assorted fishmen went flying as the overgrown cow made its rounds around the courtyard, and when Luffy finally let go, and the sea king went soaring into the sky. I watched it tumble into the distance, feeling my anger slowly dissipate. A muscle under my eye twitched before I sighed.

_When sea kings fly…_

"I didn't come here to fight all these small fries." Luffy's arms snapped back to his sides, the sound of their return louder than a gunshot. "The one I want to beat up is YOU!" He shouted, pointing at Arlong.

"Excellent." The _slaver_ said, teeth bared in a furious grin. "I was thinking of killing you myself just now as well."

_As if you could._

Sanji stood smoothly and took a long drag of his cigarette. His visible eye opened, brow narrowed angrily. "THAT WAS WAY TOO DANGEROUS!" He shouted, and aimed a kick at Luffy's head. Usopp got in on the fun, and I found myself laughing, my rage finally blown away along with the sea king and Luffy's antics. Zoro stepped up to my side with a bloodthirsty smirk on his lips.

"Looks like the officers are coming to meet us." He noted.

"I wonder if I can finally make that complaint to the management. This has been a thoroughly unsatisfying vacation." I commented idly, examining three fishmen who had escaped Luffy's whirlwind of destruction relatively unscathed. Hachi stood in the center of the trio, arms waving madly. A tall fishman in a karate gi stood on his left, and a flamboyant looking wuss stood on his right. The karate fishman glanced over our group and crossed his arms.

"If was how things were going to turn out, we should have fought from the start." He sighed, and glanced at Arlong over his shoulder. "Arlong, please let us handle this." He said seriously, and the flamboyant one nodded his agreement.

"If we let you fight while that riled up, you'll end up destroying all of Arlong Park." He punctuated his words with one of the strange floating hearts I associated with Sanji.

_Maybe it's contagious._

Hachi leaned over, muscles tense, and Zoro's eyebrow quirked upward. "Hm? What's that octopus doing?" He pointed at Hachi.

"First you have to boil the octopus in salt water, slice it up, and add some olive oil and paprika to make an excellent side dish while drinking." Sanji reeled off a recipe that sounded delicious in response.

"That sounds really good. After we're done here, would you mind making that?" I asked our chef seriously. He shot me a grin before his face twisted in a very strange, pained looking way that I couldn't identify. "Uh… you okay?" I asked cautiously.

"OCTOPUS…" Hachi announced around a mouthful of… something… getting our attention.

"Hey, guys…" Luffy tried to get our attention as well.

"…INK!" We ignored our captain in favor of dodging the stream of pure black ink that rocketed towards us. Zoro lunged left, Sanji cartwheeled right, and I dropped straight to the ground. Luffy…

Luffy blocked the ink with his face.

"WHAT THE HELL? WHY DIDN'T YOU DODGE THAT!?" Zoro shouted at him. I rolled onto my back with a sigh while Luffy scrubbed at his face.

"I can't move! And I can't see!" Luffy yelled back. A glance down at my captain's feet still encased in pavement confirmed that yes, he had gotten himself stuck in the ground.

"For god's sake…" Zoro groaned, palming his face. I heard Sanji let out a very flat 'What' from across the courtyard, and chuckled. A shadow falling over Luffy and I had me glancing up.

"Oh. Hey, Hachi." I greeted, eyes wide at the section of masonry the octopus had lifted over his head. Then I tucked my knees into my chest and rolled onto my shoulders, elbows bent next to my head with my hands planted on the ground beneath me, and _pushed_ off the ground, kicking up and backwards with both legs. My boots _slammed_ into the underside of Hachi's jaw, and I flipped around in mid-air to land on my feet. A split second later, Sanji was at my side, kicking one leg straight above his head.

The stone that had begun to fall when I had taken out Hachi shattered from the force of his kick. I whistled, impressed.

"Nice one, Sanji!" Luffy crowed, apparently having gotten the ink out of his eyes while we were busy. Sanji lowered his leg and took several long steps forward.

"Looks like I've chosen a dumbass to be my captain…" He began with a sigh.

"My feelings _exactly."_ Zoro deadpanned. I smothered a laugh.

"…but it's still a hundred times better than being in a crew that would make a lady cry." Sanji finished, and took a long drag from his cigarette.

_He's kinda cool in his own way. Except for the noodling over women._

The karate fishman snorted at our chef's declaration. "It would seem that you half-assed idiots don't understand the fact that we fishmen are on a different level than you." He said, his posture one of dismissal.

"Would you like to test just how half-assed my chivalry really is, Mr. Fish?" Sanji said, a smirk on his face as he exhaled and flicked the ash from his cigarette on the ground. "Despite what you may think, I've spent half my life as a pirate already."

_See, Sanji? You're fitting right in already._

Usopp had moved to grab Luffy, and was attempting to pull him out of the floor, and having no success at it. He was hauling our captain a fair bit away from where he had gotten stuck.

"What about now?" Usopp asked him.

"Eh, you're only stretching me. I'm still stuck."

"ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?" Usopp shrieked

"You think you can just horse around?" Hachi snapped angrily behind me, and I turned to see that he'd recovered and found another piece of masonry.

"That didn't work the first time you tried it." I told him dryly, watching Zoro stalking up to the octopus's back. Hachi glared at me before hefting the boulder over his head.

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" He shouted.

"Hey, octopus." Zoro said, sheathed sword tapping against his shoulder as got Hachi's attention. "Those guys're busy right now. Why don't you play with me instead?" He asked, a smirk of anticipation creeping across his lips.

"Roronoa Zoro!" The octopus exclaimed, turning to look at his new opponent. "I almost forgot!" He said, and brought the masonry down on Zoro's head. "HOW DARE YOU DECIEVE ME! NOT ONLY THAT, YOU CUT DOWN MY BROTHERS!"

Zoro dodged just in time and gripped the hilt of his sword. "I don't care about ancient history. It doesn't matter _why_ you want to kill me, the situation is different now." His smirk turned bloodthirsty as he drew his sword. "You guys aren't going to be doing the killing. _We'll_ be the ones killing you!" He boasted.

I leaned over to examine the stone encasing Luffy's feet.

_Well, I could just break it I suppose._

"G-good, Zoro. I'll let you deal with that octopus. Nice work." I heard Usopp compliment Zoro, his words accompanied by strange twanging sound, like a rubber band sna-

_Oh. good. god._

**WHAAAAAMMMMM**

I was sent flying through the air courtesy of Luffy for the second time that day, rocketing straight past the fancy fishman and through the wall of Arlong Park. Several trees broke my fall before I came to rest in a sort of lazy sitting sprawl across a throne made of broken foliage and a section of masonry.

I sighed and let my head fall back against the stone behind me. " _Damnit,_ Usopp."

* * *

I heaved myself into the hole I'd made in the wall during my flight on the Luffy Airlines, and stopped at what I saw.

Or rather, what I didn't see.

Sanji and the karate fishman were nowhere to be seen. The fancy fishman and Usopp were also gone, and there was a crater in the ground where Luffy had been stuck. Zoro was facing off against Hachi, and Arlong was relaxing against the side of Arlong Park.

"Zoro!" I called to the swordsman as I dropped down from the wall, eyes flickering across the courtyard for clues. His head jerked in my direction slightly, but he didn't take his eyes off his opponent.

"Luffy's in the water." He gritted at me.

_Say what?_

"…Fuck." Was my eloquent response. "Sanji?" I queried.

"He's down there, but one of these guys followed him." He said. I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation.

_Well damnit._

"…I can't swim." I admitted.

" _NOW_ YOU TELL ME?" the swordsman snapped incredulously.

"OCTOPUS INK!" Hachi interjected.

Zoro dodged the ink bullet and lunged forward, his sword singing through the air towards Hachi's head. The octopus man ducked, and Zoro's sword cleaved straight through the top of Hachi's sun-spike-style hair.

"Tch." Zoro grunted, sliding to a halt on one knee, sword parallel to the ground.

"My HAIR! _**WHY YOU…!**_ " Hachi bared his teeth before crossing all of his arms. "I'LL FORGIVE YOU SINCE IT'S ONLY HAIR! THE IMPORTANT THING IS I'M STILL ALIVE!" He said, and I snorted.

"Oh, is that so? Thanks." Zoro commented dryly. Hachi didn't seem to catch his sarcasm.

"Roronoa Zoro, I'm quite strong against swordsmen! Do you understand what I mean?" The octopus asked, and I tilted my head to the side.

_I don't._

"LIKE HELL I DO!" Zoro was of the same mind as myself apparently, and aimed a heavy-looking vertical swing down at Hachi, who held all six arms in front of him, palms flat as the blade began to descend.

"Octopus 3 Continuous Naked Sword Catching Technique!" The fishman pirate declared, and slammed all three hands down on Zoro's sword… and was too slow. I couldn't help it, I snickered as Hachi clutched his now-bleeding forehead with two hands.

"I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY AROUND WITH YOU!" Zoro yelled, then staggered a single step to the side.

_Fuck. Zoro…_

"This is getting ridiculous." He gritted. "GO TO HELL ALREADY YOU OCTOPUS BASTARD!" He roared, and charged again. When he swung his sword, however, Hachi wasn't there.

_There!_

"Zoro, the pillar!" I called urgently, and the swordsman spun to his right and looked up. Hachi was clinging to one of the only remaining awning pillars still standing like a barnacle.

Zoro _growled_. "The hell do you think you're playing at? GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT! YOU TRYING TO BUY TIME OR SOMETHING?" He snarled at the octopus.

_He's trying to tire you out._

Hachi narrowed his eyebrows at Zoro. "I've heard you use three swords. Why are you only using one?" He asked from his position on the pillar.

" _BECAUSE ONE SWORD IS STILL MORE THAN ENOUGH TO BEAT YOU!"_ Our swordsman shouted, temper well and truly lost.

"SHUT UP! I HAVEN'T GOTTEN SERIOUS YET!" Hachi shouted right back, and then grinned. "There's a reason why I'm strong against swordsman, have you figured it out yet? Humans can't beat me, and the reason why is becau…"

Zoro collapsed facefirst onto the ground, sword falling out of his hand.

_Fucking hell!_

"ZORO!" I yelled as Hachi shattered the top half of the pillar with a series of punches and jumped off, landing with his back to Zoro. The pillar began to crumble and fall, but Zoro was already getting to his knees and reaching for his sword.

"MEET YOUR DOOM AND GET CRUSHED, RORONOA ZORO!" Hachi trumpeted just as Zoro grabbed the back of his neck. One fling later, and Hachi was being pulverized by the pillar.

"Why don't you get crushed instead?" Zoro said wearily, breath coming in harsh pants. I took a step forward and heard Arlong shift where he was lounging.

"I'll get involved if you get involved, Godhand." He rumbled warningly.

I stilled.

_You don't get to fucking threaten my crewmates like that._

Zoro collapsed again. "Damnit." I heard him mutter. "Of all the times, why now…"

Hachi decided this was his cue to enter the fray again, and came out swinging six swords, one in each hand. "ASIDE FROM ONE MAN, I, HACHI OF THE SIX SWORDS STYLE, AM THE NUMBER ONE SWORDSMAN IN FISHMAN ISLAND! EVEN IF THE HEAVENS WERE TO BE FLIPPED OVER, YOU WOULD HAVE NO CHANCE OF BEATING ME!" He boasted, and Zoro dragged himself back onto his feet, stance wide.

"Six swords style? Don't make me laugh." He gritted. "Just what's so great about that?" Zoro took a deep breath. "Let me tell you something, you little octopus. I've got a man I have to meet no matter what. And until I meet him, not even the _**Grim Reaper**_ can take my life away!" He panted slightly before raising his voice. "YOSAKU! JOHNNY! LEND ME YOUR SWORDS!" He called over his shoulder, and aimed a bloodthirsty, determined smirk at Hachi.

_That's kind of attractive._

…

_Wait, WHAT? THE HELL WAS THAT, BRAIN?_

I shoved that particular portion of my brain into a very tiny box and locked it for the time being. Zoro pulled his bandana off of his arm and placed his sword in his teeth while Hachi taunted him. "What's the matter, Roronoa Zoro? You already look so exhausted." He questioned.

Sweat was beading on Zoro's skin, and his breath was coming in harsh pants. "That's none of your conern." He told Hachi bluntly while tying his bandana around his head. His arms fell to his sides and he straightened up as Johnny and Yosaku's swords spun through the air on an arc towards him.

The two bounty hunters starting screaming different variations of 'Zo-bro, catch them!' and 'We threw our swords already!' while Hachi readied his own blades.

"I'll show you the vast gap in skill that is unsurpassable for a human with only two arms!" Hachi boasted. "The six swords style that can only be used by having six arms and a supple body…"

Three of the swords in Hachi's hands stabbed forward just as the bounty hunter's blades got into Zoro's range. Our swordsman swayed, weight shifting onto his left leg, and took a step forward into Hachi's blender. Using his right leg as a pivot, he spun and caught Yosaku and Johnny's swords.

"Three sword style…" He grunted, and Hachi brought his remaining three swords back around for a barrage of strikes. Zoro's hands blurred into multiple blocks and parries even as he turned the momentum of his spin into a backflip, landing on his feet behind the octopus. "…Drifting Wolf Blade." He finished.

Hachi's chest burst into a shower of blood.

I whistled in appreciation.

_Very, very impressive._

Zoro shot a glance in my direction, and my eyes cut over to Arlong briefly.

_If he interferes, I'll hold him off._

The swordsman nodded slightly, eyes shadowed beneath his black bandanna. Hachi recovered from Zoro's strike and spun around to face him, arms akimbo and a snarl on his face.

"You've REALLY made me mad now!" The fishman snapped, lips pulled back from his gums in a display of teeth. "I SWEAR I'll kill you! Just think about it, logically! There's no way you could beat my six swords with your three!"

_A lesson in mathematics has no point if numbers aren't all that's being measured._

"Logically…?" Zoro snorted around the sword in his mouth. "Seems you've made an error in your calculations." Hachi gave him a confused look, and Zoro lifted his swords for emphasis. "I may only have three swords, but the weight of our swords are completely different!" He stated seriously.

_You promised on your swords and your honor and your life to become the World's Greatest Swordsman, and to never lose until you gained that title. Your swords are heavy. What promises does this octopus who plays around during fights carry?_

Hachi didn't get it. "Heavier? Your swords are heavier?" The octopus sneered. "Each of my swords weighs 660 pounds, way more than any of your puny human swords." He boasted, and Zoro shook his head in disgust.

"An idiot like you wouldn't understand anyway." Our swordsman huffed as Hachi lunged at him, all six swords thrusting forward, aiming at a single point. Zoro brought his own blades up to block, but the second he did so, Hachi thrust his arms wide. Zoro's arms went wide as well, and Hachi headbutted him in the chest.

I bit my lip so hard it bled, hands clenched at my sides so hard the knuckles turned white.

Hachi tossed Zoro high in the air, and began spinning his swords in a windmill of death. "TOUCH THIS AND YOU'LL BE MINCEMEAT!" the octopus yelled as Zoro fell back towards the ground headfirst, eyes closed and limbs controlled.

At the very last second, he blurred into motion, spinning in a counter to Hachi's swords, aiming for the octopus's hands. Zoro landed on his feet, his chest bleeding heavily, and Hachi dropped his swords, fingers dripping blood.

The fishman stared at his hands for a long moment before picking up his swords, screaming, and charging Zoro. Our swordsman's returning strike shattered all six of Hachi's blades, and the fishman's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Now do you understand why my swords are heavier than yours, you stupid squid?" Zoro sneered slightly around the hilt of his blade, and then his swords were singing through the air, creating a miniature whirlwind that sent Hachi flying. "Sorry, but you mean nothing to me." Our swordsman panted, collapsing onto his knees, and I was by his side in an instant.

"Oi." He grunted at me as I pulled his shirt open to check the bleeding.

"Shut up. You did good, so just rest." I replied, and satisfied myself that he hadn't popped any of his stitches. Our chef chose this moment to burst from the ocean, breaching like a goddamn merman, panting for air.

"Sanji?" He flicked a glance at me while heaving himself out of the water, water pooling underneath him.

"Don't worry, Luffy's fine." He responded to my unasked question. I'm pretty sure Zoro raised an eyebrow underneath his bandana.

_He's been underwater for how long?_

" _Really?"_ He asked dryly.

"Half-fine I guess." Our cook clarified.

"…Half?" It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"I'll tell you later!" Sanji snapped, visibly irritated, and turned towards the water, pointing a finger at it as if he could command the very ocean. "GET THE HELL BACK UP HERE YOU DAMN FISH! IT'S TIME FOR ME TO KILL YOU!"

"Rough fight?" I asked, a hint of a smile on my face before glancing him over. _Not many external bruises, but seems very out of breath. Fighting a fishman underwater. Honestly._ "Ah, just annoying then?" I amended as the karate fishman popped out of the water.

" _Extremely."_

"My condolences."

"And just what the hell have you been doing up here instead of helping get Luffy free?" The chef asked with a slight glare, ignoring the fishman that was spouting nonsense about the greatness of his species.

"I can't swim." I informed him.

"…What." Sanji's visible eyebrow twitched, the curlique bouncing up and down his forehead as if it was a living thing. His teeth ground together, and I would have bet money that were a cigarette between his lips, he would have bitten it in half.

"You heard me."

"Oh for the _love of god._ " Sanji declared, and spun to take his anger out on the hapless fishman.

" _COLLIER!"_ He kicked him in the head,  
 _"EPAULE!"_ the shoulder,  
 _"COTELETTE!"_ the ribs,  
 _"SELLE!"_ the back,  
 _"POITRINE!"_ the chest,  
 _"GIGOT!"_ the leg,  
 _"MUTTON SHOT!"_ and then launched a flurry of kicks that was almost too fast for me to see, sending the fishman went flying.

"Don't you want any dessert?" Our chef calmly asked his unconscious form as it soared through the wall of Arlong Park, and _I_ _fucking lost it._

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohhhh, Sanji, that was great, that was _beautiful_." I complimented, still laughing as I wiped a tear from my eye and stood, planting myself between my crewmates and a now also-standing Arlong. "You go on ahead, I'll make sure that these idiots don't bother you." I said, getting control over my laughter again.

Arlong fixed us with a glare of pure rage. "HOW _DARE_ YOU DO THIS TO MY BROTHERS! YOU'RE GETTING TOO COCKY IF YOU THINK YOU'VE ALREADY WON!"

"Sanji, go." I ordered calmly.

He went.

Arlong took a single step towards the water before I was in his way, expression carefully blank. "Ah ah ah, Arlong." I chided tonelessly. "You get to play with me now." My hands hung loose and empty at my sides, posture ever so slightly slouched.

"You think you can put up a fight against a fishman, Godhand?" Arlong sneered at me, muscles tensing.

"I won't even need to go all out against you." I said, voice eerily calm.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arlong snarled.

I _grinned_ at him, the expression suddenly filled with teeth and quiet rage and the promise of pain.

"It means that you aren't worthy of bearing the mark of the Sun Pirates, _you pompous piece of_ _ **trash.**_ " I informed him and _moved._

I blurred to a stop in front of him and buried my fist into his solar plexus. He stumbled backwards, eyes somewhat wide, and I pressed the attack, dodging around his quick series of strikes in a bobbing motion, feet constantly shifting beneath me. He landed a punch that had me arcing through the air, and I spun ( _felt something give)_ , negating the momentum and launching myself forward again into a barrage of punches. Arlong leaned backward, arms raised, and I planted my front leg and spun, using the momentum to kick his hand away from my body. He leaped backward to put some space between us, teeth bared and eyes shadowed.

"You dare to call me trash?" He seethed, teeth flashing.

"Oh, I'll dare more than that. I can't forgive what you've done to Nami. Not in a million years." I snapped, my own teeth bared in a feral snarl, and _moved_ again.

My right fist swung towards Arlong's stomach again, and he blocked the strike with his left hand. I swayed to the side, ducking underneath his right straight even as I latched onto the wrist that was sailing an inch past my nose with my left hand. I began a lunge towards a point behind him, and then he _dug his fingers into my stomach wound._

I folded in on myself with a choked gasp, which gave him enough time to grip my right arm. His right hand twisted in my grip, pulling my left arm away from my body, and his teeth opened as he lunged forward and **clamped down.**

I let out a full-throated scream as his jaw closed around my left shoulder, teeth grinding deep into my upper arm.

_Gotta… get him… off…!_

"KAI!" I heard Zoro shout.

I spasmed, chambering my legs against my chest, and kicked Arlong in the throat. His jaw opened slightly, and I kicked again, pushing off of him and ripping out of his grip. Arlong's teeth scraped pieces of my flesh as they left, taking my sleeve with them. They also took the bandages that were wrapped around the entirety of my upper left arm with them, the ones that I had carefully concealed from everyone until now, the ones that I didn't look at or even allow myself to think about.

_No, no, no no no no no._

I landed badly, and took several stumbling steps backwards before catching my balance. I heard splashing sounds, and saw blond hair out of the corner of my eye. My shoulder _burned_ in agony, and I reached over to belatedly cover the mark I had tried so hard to keep hidden.

_Too late._

Arlong stared at the Celestial Dragon's slave brand on my upper arm with wide eyes before a vicious, toothy smile crossed his face.

"And you call me trash, Godhand? Tell me. Who's your owner?" He questioned, and I _froze._

* * *

_Sand swirled as he moved, his hand wrapping around my throat and squeezing. "You don't get to disobey me."_

* * *

"Shut up." I heard myself say, voice completely blank.

Arlong didn't.

"Do they know their property is wandering around in East Blue unsupervised?" He sneered, and cast a glance behind me. "Your little crewmates don't even know, do they?"

My vision went red for the second time that day.

" _SHUT UP!"_ I screamed with all the pent up fury and rage I had in me. The courtyard went perfectly silent, but I kept going. "You don't get to talk like you know anything, you fucking hypocrite. People aren't goddamn property, whether they're human or fishman or longarm or anything in between! _IT DOESN'T MATTER!_ _**AND**_ _ **PIECES OF SHIT LIKE YOU**_ _ **DON'T GET TO LAY A**_ _ **GODDAMN**_ _**HAND**_ _ **ON MY CREWMATES!**_ _"_ I caught my breath before peeling my lips back from my teeth in a feral snarl. _"_ _ **You.**_ _Made._ _ **Nami.**_ _ **Cry**_ _."_

Arlong lunged.

_Fuck it._

I twisted the ring off my thumb and _threw_ it to one side, my blood singing in my veins. My senses expanded, and the world **changed** around me. Swirling currents of air appeared before my eyes, and I instantly felt lighter on my feet. I _pushed_ off the ground beneath me to meet Arlong's charge, and heard it crack under my feet as I disappeared from normal sight.

_You can't catch the wind._

I reformed from thin air faster than the eye could see in front of the fishman, already spinning to plant my elbow in his solar plexus. The blow lifted him off his feet and I stepped in, fist rising in a vicious uppercut that connected solidly, knocking his head backwards. Arlong's leg lifted in a kick, air currents swirling oddly due to the sudden displacement, and I leapt over his now-slow-looking sweep. I twisted in midair and kicked him in the chest with all the power I could bring to bear.

He crashed through the wall of Arlong Park a second later, and I landed in a crouch on the ground before rising. I eyed the hole Arlong had made and spat a globule of blood out of my mouth before reaching up to my bleeding shoulder, painting my fingers with my own blood.

"You may be a fishman, but I'm a goddamn _Grand Line Gladiator_. _**Don't underestimate me**_ **.** " I snarled, swiping my fingers under my eyes and down my cheeks ritualistically.

"Holy shit." I heard Usopp say into the silence that followed.

And then Luffy's hands were on my shoulders.

_What the fu-_

"KAI! SWITCH!" I heard him shout. My eyebrow began twitching.

… _ **SERIOUSLY?**_

"LUFFY DON'T…!" I rushed, but…

He did.

I went soaring through the sky for the third time that day. My landing was a rough rolling one that almost sent me tumbling into the ocean, but I managed to stop myself just in time. I wheezed and rolled onto my back, staring at the clouds overhead, blood dripping from my shoulder and stomach, and coughed.

"I'm going to kill him." I told myself, knowing that I never would, and picked myself up off the ground, moving to take a seat against the side of Arlong Park's wall. I pulled off what remained of my stolen shirt, and wrapped it around my mangled shoulder, tying it so that it covered my upper left arm as well, and let my hands drop into my lap.

That was when I heard Luffy's voice echoing off the inside of Arlong Park, loud and determined and fierce.

"SHUT YOUR TRAP!" My captain was yelling. "OF COURSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT WITH A SWORD, YOU DUMBASS!"

_What…_

"I'M NOT GOOD AT NAVIGATION EITHER! I CAN'T COOK, I CAN'T LIE, AND I'M NOT VERY SMART!"

I smiled a little at his declaration, realizing that he was listing the things that he couldn't do that we could, pointing out where we filled in for one another.

_You're plenty smart, it's just your own brand of it._

Arlong's voice carried far as well. _"YOU CALL YOURSELF FIT TO BE CAPTAIN WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE AN OUNCE OF SELF-CONFIDENCE? JUST WHAT EXACTLY_ _ **CAN**_ _YOU DO!?"_

" _ **I CAN BEAT YOU!"**_

"You tell 'im, Captain." I spat another bubble of red liquid out of my mouth, got to my feet again, and started walking.

* * *

I was a fair bit away from the entrance to Arlong Park when the main building crumbled. I picked up my pace, and got close enough to see the villagers begins understanding that they were finally free of Arlong.

"ARLONG PARK IS DESTROYED!" Someone cheered, and it spread like a wave, people jumping up and down clapping each other on the back and shouting and crying. I grinned tiredly, watching them.

_Yea. That feeling of freedom…it's the greatest one in the world._

The presence of uniforms caught my eye, and the grin slid off my face as I picked out the arrival of a marine unit, led by a man who looked like a weasel. Quite literally. Hair and whiskers and all. His little group halted at the edge of the happy crowd and I frowned.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The commander said, his voice carrying further than I would have thought it would for a man of his stature. The villagers, for their part, turned to face him and…

_Oh now isn't that interesting. Intense disgust, hatred, why would they hate….ohhh. Right. I was_ _**wondering** _ _why Hachi was talking about Marines earlier as if they were a regular occurrence._

"It's such a lucky day for me! I'd like to thank you all for showing me a most exhilarating battle. Whether by sheer luck or not, I'd never have guessed that the fishmen would actually be defeated by a bunch of no name pirates." The commander said as I began walking up behind them. "But thanks to you, the money that I had to hand over to Arlong as well as all the riches of Arlong Park now belongs to me!"

_Oh no you fucking don't._

"So throw down your arms! I, Captain Nezumi of the 16th Branch of the Marines shall hereby take credit for your victory!"

The Marines danced aside as I stalked straight through the middle of them, still sporting my bloody face paint, my chest bandages stained red and my left arm dripping like one of Usopp's paintbrushes. I planted my leg, spun, and axe kicked the weasel into the dirt. His face hit the ground and I slammed my heel down on the back of his head.

"KAI!" I heard Usopp yell, sounding relieved.

"Aa, did you hear something just now, Usopp?" I called over to him. "It sounded like a weasel squeaking. I'm not sure why I would hear such a thing when everyone is clearly celebrating." I said casually, ignoring the choking gasps coming from underneath my boot.

The sound of multiple guns cocking, however, had me glancing up at the Marines scattered in a loose half circle around me. I snorted and fixed them with a glare.

"Do you morons really want to go up against the guys who just took out Arlong and your little boss here?" I asked, putting more pressure on the weasel and receiving panicked squealing noises for my trouble.

Sanji barreled past me on the right, and one of Luffy's fists whipped out to handle the left side.

I grinned.

_Knew you'd have my back._

"Oiiiii! Kaaiiiii!" Luffy crowed as he snapped towards me.

"Hey, Luffy." I smiled and ran my eyes over the bite marks on his shoulder and arm. I was distracted from my mental inventory of wounds when a muscular sweaty arm wound around my neck and Zoro's knuckles dug into my skull.

"You," He began, "Need to stop keeping important details to yourself. When the hell were you going to tell me that I had Luffy AND you to watch for if you went overboard?" He said. My eyes widened at what he wasn't saying.

_We don't care about your past._

I closed my eyes and laughed, pushing his hand off of the top of my head. "Aa. Sorry." I apologized, and he huffed.

Sanji finished kicking the last marine into the pile o'pain he'd been creating. I stepped off the marine commander and hauled him to feet by his collar.

"How dare you touch a marine captain!" He spat at me. Literally spat. I felt his spittle run down my cheek as I stared at him, expression blank.

Then I _grinned_ and slammed my forehead into his. He stumbled away, but didn't get far.

**BAM! WHAM! CRRR-UNCH!**

He joined the pile with the others, a lump forming on his head, bleeding from his nose, and missing a few teeth. Amazingly, he was still running his mouth.

"Go ahead! Lay eben one binger on me ib yu dare! I swear yu won't ged away widdit!"

_What there was of it._

Sanji took a drag of his cigarette, eyebrow raised. "Oh, you're still talking?" He asked calmly. It felt like I had found a kindred spirit.

Nami stepped between Luffy and I, and put Luffy's hat back where it belonged, on his head. She took a knee in front of the Marine Captain and lightly placed a hand on his cheek, her other hand gripping her bo staff.

"This is for shooting Nojiko and defiling Bellemere's orange fields…" She told him serenely, eyes closed, and then brought her staff around to cave in the side of his face. He went skidding over the water like a skipping stone.

"Nice!" I called with a wide smile.

The weasel managed to get back to shore, but Nami was waiting for him, and began tugging on his whiskers and making demands. "Now go clean up after the fishmen! Then help rebuild Gosa! And you aren't to touch any of the money left here in Arlong Park! That's the villager's money!" She snapped. "And one more thing!"

"Owwwww owwww owwww! I'll do whudeber yu say!"

Nami leaned in and _yanked._ "GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY!"

"I WILL! I WILL!"

I laughed again, and kept an eye on the marines that slowly joined their captain in the water. When the weasel was farther away from the shore, he turned back around and pointed at those of us clustered around Luffy.

"LISTEN UP YOU ROTTEN PIRATES!" He yelled, and his eyes narrowed as much as they could beneath the swelling. "ESPECIALLY YOU, STRAWHAT-BOY! YOU SAID YOUR NAME WAS LUFFY, DIDN'T YOU? AND YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN? YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR JUST DESSERTS FOR ANGERING ME! I SWEAR I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!"

As he swam off into the distance, Sanji raised an eyebrow. "He said you're going to get your just desserts." He pointed out, and Luffy's brow furrowed in confusion.

"How'd he know that I deserve to be the Pirate King?"

Zoro groaned. "That's not what he meant, dumbass."

"W-what do we do, guys?" Usopp panicked. "What happens if he really does get back at us?"

I chuckled, and reached up to sling an arm cautiously around Luffy's shoulders, being careful not to touch the hurt one. "Sounds like you're finally going to get a bounty, Luffy!" I grinned widely. His eyes became as wide as saucers.

"WOOOAAAAAHHH REALLY?"

"THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING!"

We devolved into arguing, and I couldn't stop from grinning the whole time.

_This is where I belong now, because these people are just as much mine as I am theirs._


	11. Repercussions

"Would you sit still already?"

We had gotten accosted by the town doctor the second we entered Cocoyashi, and the old hatchet had proceeded to trundle our crew plus Johnny and Yosaku into his infirmary. He had taken one look at the bounty hunters and kicked them onto cots to sleep. He then declared Luffy and myself to be the ones requiring immediate treatment, and got started on Luffy. My captain was not a good patient, however.

"But it hurts!" Luffy whined while the old man carefully cleaned his wounds. I chuckled around the scrap of shirt I had clenched between my teeth, fingers attempting to loosen the knot on the shirt around my shoulder.

"It hurts now, but that means that the wound is getting cleaned out. Let the man work, Captain." I said, tilting my neck to see what I was doing a bit better. Cloth shifted and I glanced up at Sanji as he took a seat beside me, reaching for the stubborn knot with a frown on his face.

"Let me." He said, deftly working the knot loose with gentle tugs.

"Thanks." I told him, and his features twitched before slowly settling into a grin.

"Don't mention it."

"You should listen to your crewmate." The doctor grumbled at Luffy, shooting an evaluative look at me from under his bandana. "You're pretty knowledgeable about first aid. You the crew's doctor?" He asked, and I barked a laugh that ended in a cough. I caught my breath and smiled.

"No, no. I can do battlefield dressings and I've a steady hand for putting in stitches, but I'm no doctor." I explained as Sanji finally got the knot undone.

"Um, Kai, I had a question actually." Usopp spoke up from where he was sitting by the door. I tilted my head at him in an invitation to continue, and he took a deep breath. "Were… you really a gladiator?" He asked hesitantly.

I pointed at the bloody marks I had painted under my eyes and down my cheeks. "Yes. I wouldn't expect any of you to know this, but war paint markings on a gladiator are only allowed at certain levels." I informed them, and pointed at the vertical stripe running from just under the middle of my eye down to my jaw. "One of these means that the person survived one hundred matches." I said. Usopp's eyes widened dramatically, and Zoro's eyebrows became one with his hairline.

"S-so, two stripes means… two hundred matches? You won two HUNDRED matches?" Usopp clarified, and I shrugged, pointing at the thick horizontal lines curving directly underneath my eyes.

"Not quite. One of these means the person was the reigning champion for a year straight."

"THAT'S SO COOOOOOL!" Luffy shouted, stars in his eyes as I unwrapped the shirt from my shoulder. I smiled at him before peeling the sodden shirt away from my shoulder and arm. It made a wet sucking sound as it left my skin, dripping blood onto the floor. I grimaced slightly before attempting to locate a trash can.

"Ah, where should I…?" I began, and waved the rag in my hand for emphasis. The doctor took a look at me and frowned.

"Trash can's in the bathroom, through that door. Long-nose, you help that one." He said, pointing at Zoro with the needle in his hand before turning to my captain. "Your crew needs a doctor if this is normal for you guys." He said bluntly, and I chuckled as I rose to get supplies from the bathroom.

"A doctor? Hmm. That's a good idea! But we need a musician first." Luffy stated firmly.

"You're still talking about that?" I heard Zoro groan in defeat. I dropped the bloody rag in the trashcan and turned on the sink to wash my hands and face.

"A musician? Why?" The doctor asked, sounding confused that a musician would take precedence over a doctor.

"Because pirates gotta sing, you know." Was Luffy's simple answer. I chuckled again as I splashed water on my face and scrubbed under my eyes with a clean towel.

"I can't sing, Luffy." I called over my shoulder while cleaning as far up my arm as I could without getting soap in my wounds.

"You can _whistle_ though! I still can't, and I was practicing on the way here!" My captain complained, and I could _see_ his pouty expression in my mind's eye.

I began picking at the bandages around my waist and leaned back out the bathroom door to cock an eyebrow at him. "Oh?" I questioned, and he nodded before pursing his lips and emitting a perfect whistle.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused. "That sounds fine."

Zoro gave me a strange look. "Nothing happened." He informed me, and I frowned.

"Huh. That's odd. Do that again." I told Luffy, and he complied. A dog started barking madly in the distance.

… _Ohhhhh. Wait, he had run into that Sea King previously, so…_

"Ohhh. No wonder you thought you weren't doing it right. You're actually whistling in a frequency too high for humans to hear. Tell me, were you doing that before that Sea King showed up on your way here?" I asked thoughtlessly, ducking back into the bathroom to toss the bandages in the trash.

"Yea, I was. How'd you know?" Luffy asked.

"Nevermind that, how can _you_ hear him whistling if it's too high of a frequency for humans?" The doctor's voice floated through the doorway incredulously. I stiffened before abruptly kicking the bathroom door shut to finish cleaning up my chest.

_Because I'm made of air and can sense the vibrations the sound makes through it._

"Kai is a vampire!" I heard Luffy chirp through the wood, and palmed my face.

"I give up." I muttered, before raising my voice. "Fine! I'm a vampire." I called wearily, and heard Usopp squawk in terror. I swapped my chest bindings as quickly as I could and stepped back out into the main room proper where the good doctor was waiting for me testily. "Your turn. Get your ass over here." He bitched, and I took the seat next to Zoro's cot with minimal complaining.

Honestly.

The doctor poked and prodded and cleaned and stitched, but I didn't move through any of it. When he was done, he gave me a tiny grin. "You're a good patient. Unlike that one." He scowled, jerking his thumb at my captain.

"I've had practice." I said with a smile, and the older man just sighed before moving on to Zoro. I glanced around and noticed a distinct lack of Sanji and Usopp.

"Where did the others go?" I asked, flexing my left arm carefully to test my range of motion. The doctor glanced up from cutting off Zoro's soiled bandages and motioned vaguely at the door.

"Blondie lit up a smoke, so I kicked them out." He replied. I glanced at the sunlight streaming in through the window and made up my mind.

_Sunshine sounds really good right about now._

I reached over to muss Zoro's hair before standing and nodding to the doctor. "Holler if you need someone to come sit on this one." I told him, pretending not to hear Zoro's indignant growl.

"Go outside already, brat." The old man huffed, and I grinned fondly at the swordsman before moving towards the door, pausing to give Luffy an affectionate squeeze on his uninjured arm. He beamed at me, and then I was outside. I stood for a moment, eyes closed, feeling the sun on my face and feeling the wind whisper across my skin.

_I don't want to hold back anymore. I've missed this so much._

"It's a nice breeze, isn't it?" Sanji's voice came from my right. I opened my eyes and smiled at the chef who was slouched beneath a thatched umbrella. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and gave me a grin that was just the slightest bit twitchy.

"The best." I confirmed, and moved to take a seat next to him, on the other side of the umbrella from Usopp, facing away from the sniper. "You know, I'm really glad you decided to join us." I told Sanji, leaning against the large pole of the umbrella.

"Oh?" He said, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

"Yeah. I've been doing the cooking up until now but… I'm no chef. I should probably warn you though, Luffy eats a truly stunning amount of food." I said, wincing lightly. Sanji chuckled a bit.

"It can't be that bad." He said naively. I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head to look at him.

"When Zoro and I first joined Luffy, the first time we set out we had a little over a week's worth of provisions. On Luffy's watch that night, he ate all of our provisions. _All of them._ Zoro and I didn't find out until the next morning." I informed the chef. He twisted around to stare at me, eye wide and face somewhat pale. "We might need a lock for the fridge on our ship." I commented casually, and he swallowed, adam's apple bobbing up and down his throat.

"That's…" His voice was hoarse. "…okay." He cleared his throat and regained his composure with a slow, eager smirk. "I love a good challenge."

I snorted, amused. "As long as you're happy." I said, closing my eyes again as a strong breeze swept over us, lifting and ruffling my hair. I relaxed into it, lips curving into a smile, and propped my heel up on the bench I was sitting on, resting my elbow against my knee. I let my senses extend outward amid the swirling eddies that made up my domain and whistled a lilting tune into the sky.

"Oh, there you boys are!" A loud boisterous voice exclaimed from somewhere close to me. My brow furrowed slightly as I felt the motions of the air around me.

_Approaching from the right and closing in._

I opened my eyes and beheld a slender older woman making her way towards me with a spring in her step.

"Can I help you?" I called curiously, eyes picking out calluses on her index fingers and thumb that I couldn't quite identify.

"Actually, I think I can help you." She said confidently, hands on her hips and a mischievous look on her face. "I happen to be the town's tailor," She began, "and you look like you need some new clothes. Up you get!" She said sunnily.

"Uhhhhh…"

"Oh, don't you worry! I've got a son about your height, though I think you're a bit more slender than he is. It'll be easy to take in some of his things, and we really do owe you boys quite a lot for what you did for Nami. That poor girl's been running herself ragged trying to handle this whole problem by herself, and it does the heart good to know that she's got some dependable young men she can count on to have her back around."

I swallowed noisily, a nervous smile ticking up one corner of my mouth. The woman placed her hands on her hips and gave me a _look_. "Well what are you just staring at me for? Come along! We don't have much time before the party starts, and with looks as good as yours, the village girls will be all over you if we can find you some decent clothing in time."

I stood, shooting Sanji a shaky grin. "Uh… let the captain know where I've gone, yeah?" I asked, posture hunched.

The chef's shoulders shook and he couldn't quite bring himself to look at me.

_Laugh, and I'll kill you._

"You're so whipped." Usopp mumbled. I gave him a single finger salute and slunk after the woman, metaphorical tail between my legs.

_I am not whipped._

* * *

"So I heard you got bullied again earlier." Zoro smirked at me over his mug of ale. I glared at him, my own tankard halfway to my lips. His smirk settled firmly into the 'smug' category. "Glaring at me isn't going to make it any less true." He said, eyes dancing with amusement.

The tailor woman had done a lot more than just give me new clothes. She had also tossed me into the shower and shoved hair care products at me when I got out. My dark hair had been forcibly pushed back off my forehead, and was now curled away from my face. After that, she had pushed outfit after outfit on me until she found 'The Perfect One'. This was, apparently, a long-sleeved gray shirt made out of a rough-feeling material that was actually still comfortable, and a pair of somewhat tighter-than-usual black jeans tucked into my boots. When I had gone to button the shirt all the way up I had gotten my hands smacked and was ordered to 'not button the top three buttons'.

I left her house feeling vaguely molested.

"You shut the fuck up." I snapped half-heartedly, and took a swig of my rum.

"Mmm. Make me." Zoro challenged with a fierce grin, and sat back on the crate he was using as a chair, propping himself up against the wall behind him. I aimed a kick at his knee that he blocked casually.

We were in an alleyway just off the main thoroughfare of the village, watching people pass by and keeping an eye on our crewmates. The villagers had declared they were going to party for a week or until they ran out of ale, whichever happened first. While I had been busy at the tailor's house, they had transformed the whole town into a riot of paper lanterns, good food, strong drink, and almost everyone was either singing or dancing.

I sighed and leaned back, eyeing the bottom of my tankard. Something had been bugging me ever since the start of the party, and I wasn't sure what it was. It felt as if something was missing, or that I had forgotten something important.

"I need more rum." I declared, and stood. Zoro cocked an eyebrow, but lifted his mug in salute.

"Alright."

I made my way through the crowd, carefully avoiding the dancers, and was approaching the rum kegs when I picked up a snatch of conversation in passing.

"The marines sure worked fast. They picked up all but one of the fishmen. Hachi, I think his name was?"  
"The octopus one? That sounds right. I'm just glad that Arlong is in prison now."  
"Do you think they'll send him to Impel Down again?"

I froze mid-step.

_Arlong isn't dead._

I swallowed convulsively and spun on my heel, boots pounding the ground as I finally realized what had been bugging me all night.

_Arlong isn't dead, and he knows I was a slave._

I slipped back through the crowds, and gunned it to the outskirts of town.

_I got cocky. I told everyone in hearing range that I was a gladiator from Grand Line._

I ran.

_I fucked up._

* * *

An hour later, the ruins of Arlong Park loomed ahead of me, cold and forbidding, dark shadows dancing across broken stone and wood. Chunks of masonry were ripped out of the wall, some furniture was lying about, and there was a mess of papers strewn across the ground. I stared up at the testament to Luffy's strength and leaned against one of the walls.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I scrubbed my face with my hands and started picking my way across the rubble to the waterside, absently finding and picking up my discarded ring from earlier on my way.

_I'm just… I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending, I'm tired of holding back. But if he finds out that I'm still alive… I was too mad earlier. Arlong knows I was… I was…_

I let out a strangled laugh and sank onto the ground.

_Arlong knows I was a slave. And I showboated like a damn idiot. Everyone who had ears heard me say I was a fucking gladiator. Stupid. I'm so stupid. Why did I do that? Why did I let my anger get the better of me? I know better than that! I don't… I can't… What do I do? If Arlong talks… if word gets out that I'm from Grand Line, a former slave, and a gladiator… He'll know. He'll put the pieces together like he always does, and then he'll…_

My shoulders shook, and I curled up on the spot, knees tucked in against my chest and arms wrapped around my legs tightly.

_I can't let the crew get hurt. I refuse. I'd rather die than let that happen. If it comes to that…_

I felt my face heat up, and my eyes watered painfully as tears began to roll down my cheeks. A soft muttered curse and the sound of rock shifting had me glancing over my shoulder.

_What…_

Green hair peeked over a boulder, and with a grunting sound, Zoro heaved himself up and over the stone, landing heavily on his heels in a crouch. He straightened up and cracked his neck before his eyes landed on me. His mouth opened as if about to say something, but he glanced over my face and his mouth closed again. His eyebrows furrowed, and he took a cautious step forward.

"Kai?" He asked, his voice low and concerned. I smothered a sob, and covered my face with my hand.

_Fuck._

"Hey, Zoro." I replied as I turned away from him, my voice barely loud enough to be heard. Silence stretched out between us for a moment before I heard him move again. His foosteps thudded up behind me, and I heard the shift of cloth and leather before his back pressed up against mine, warm and broad and comforting. I leaned my head back against his and took a shuddering breath in an effort to regain my composure.

"Zoro, I… I fucked up." I whispered, and my shoulders shook silently. He shifted his weight behind me and I felt him turn towards me.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, and I could practically _hear_ his eyes narrowing.

"I… The guy who…" I began, and felt myself choke on the words. "Arlong knows I was a slave." I said, and buried my face in my arms. "He knows, and I got _stupid._ "

"You, of all people, are not stupid." The swordsman assured me.

I surged to my feet with a laugh that was just this side of hysterical. " _Well I don't know what else to call it!"_ I exploded, and began pacing back and forth while he got to his feet. "I fucking told Arlong that I was a gladiator, he knows I was a slave, and _he's not dead."_ I paused for breath, and couldn't stop the sob that burst out of my throat. "He's not dead. And if the guy who owned me finds out that I'm still alive…"

Zoro's hands reached out, closing around my wrists gently. "Okay, so he finds out. We won't let him take you away." He tried to reason, and I shook my head before curling my fists into his shirt.

"You don't..." I choked out, feeling tears stream down my face. "I was owned by _Warlord Crocodile._ " Steel grey orbs widened in understanding. "He won't just try to kill me. He'll _hurt_ you. _All of you_."

Zoro's eyes narrowed again, flashing dangerously as his arms wrapped around my back, pulling me firmly against his chest. I let my head fall against his shoulder as another sob worked its way out of my throat, followed by another, and then by another. He growled deep in his chest, the sound feral in its intensity.

"He can _try_." The swordsman snarled into my hair, arms tightening around my waist as my whole body shook. It was several minutes before I could speak again.

_I don't want you to think of me as weak. I don't want to worry you. I shouldn't have been so stupid._

"I'm sorry." I whispered, and he exhaled heavily.

"Don't be. Luffy and I knew something was up, but we weren't sure what." He said, relaxing his grip somewhat.

"It was that obvious?" I asked, a shaky grin crossing my lips. He snorted next to my ear and shifted his weight slightly.

"To us, yes." He replied. "You okay to head back? We need to talk to Luffy about this. Tonight."

I pulled away from him and gave him a somewhat watery smile. "Yeah. I'll be okay." I glanced away in embarrassment, but he reached over and reeled me back against his side, one arm slung carefully across my shoulders.

"Stop that." He ordered, and I blinked at him. He rolled his eyes. "I don't think you're weak, damnnit. You're one of the strongest women I know, so just shut up and let us help you."

… _What?_

"…You knew?" I heard myself ask faintly. He colored and scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah. We've known for a while." He told me, and glanced down at my expression before shaking me lightly. "We don't care. You're our strategist, and nothing is ever going to change that."

_I should have guessed._

I laughed a little and wiped my eyes. "When did you figure it out?"

He let go of my shoulders and stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. "I figured it out during the fight with Kuro. Not sure when Luffy did, but he's known longer than I have." He said.

_The fight with Kuro? Oh… the bandages._

"Ahh. So that's why you were acting strangely." I nodded, and watched a faint blush dust across his cheekbones.

"Yeah. I was a bit surprised." He gumbled, embarrassed. I chuckled a bit, and we started walking back.

* * *

The party was still in full swing when we arrived at the town proper.

"Kai! Zoro!" Our captain called as he trotted up to us, his hands full of roasted meat still on the bone. He grinned around his mouthful of food and swallowed. "I was looking for you guys!" He chirped, and I shifted my weight awkwardly.

Zoro merely shrugged. "Good timing, Captain. We need to talk to you, it's important." He said calmly. Luffy glanced between us and frowned a little.

"Okay."

"Not here." I interjected. "Can we go to the Merry?"

Luffy inhaled another portion of meat and nodded. "Alright. Let's go!" He said, and marched off. We followed along behind him, and passed Sanji and Usopp, who were eating at one of the long tables the villagers had put in the town square. "We're heading back to the Merry, you guys. See you later!" Luffy waved as we moved by.

"Alright, see you." Sanji said, fully focused on the food before him. Usopp tossed a little wave at us before going back to regaling Sanji with whatever story he had been telling.

Fifteen minutes later we were on the Merry, and Luffy and I were lounging on the couch in the galley. Zoro emerged from the fridge, three beers held loosely in his hand, and passed them out before sitting down next to me opposite Luffy.

"I fucked up earlier, captain." I said, rolling the bottle in between my hands. Zoro snorted and threw an arm across the back of the couch.

"You didn't. It's a shitty situation is what it is." He interjected. Luffy said nothing, and I glanced over at him before sighing.

"I used to be owned by a Warlord." I gritted, and forced myself to relax. "He thinks I'm dead, and I said too much during the fight with Arlong. If he hears about it, he _will_ come after us to kill me." I told Luffy, and my captain tilted his head down, his hat shading his eyes.

"Don't care." He said bluntly after a moment, and lifted his head again to give me a serious stare. "You're **my** strategist. I'll beat him up if he tries to take you away." He stated like it was a throwaway fact. I winced and leaned back against the couch, head resting against Zoro's arm.

"You make it sound so simple." I murmured.

"It _is_ simple." Luffy insisted stubbornly.

"I've been wondering, actually. Why are you so sure he'll come after us?" Zoro asked around the cap of the beer bottle he had between his teeth. It gave way with ease, and he spat the cap out to one side before taking a long swig.

"Crocodile is the head of an organization known as Baroque Works." I informed them, and Zoro's mouthful of beer became nothing more than a fine mist in the air as he choked, his eyes wide. I leaned away from him slightly while he straightened and swiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

" _Baroque Works?"_ He parroted incredulously.

I stared.

"How in the hell do you know that name?" I asked, tone a perfect match for his. He leaned back against the couch, brow furrowed in thought.

"A couple of years back, I got approached by a guy called Mr. 7. He tried to recruit me into Baroque Works, and attacked me when I said I'd only join if I got to be the boss." He said slowly, as if remembering. My eyebrows met my hairline.

"That… was incredibly ballsy." I complimented.

"Still don't care." Luffy commented from the side, lips wrapped around his beer. "We'll just beat this Croco-guy up when we get to Grand Line."

I listed to one side as I accepted the fact that my captain was incredibly stubborn, and laughed helplessly. "Aye, aye. One more thing though." I said, and closed my eyes. "I'm a devil fruit user."

"Eh?" Zoro almost dropped his beer.

"WHAAAAAAT?" Luffy's eyes bugged out, and then he leapt on me, his own drink forgotten on the floor. The weight of his pounce sent me falling sideways onto Zoro's legs, and the swordsman fumbled to keep his beer from spilling with a hurried 'Watch it!'

"That's so cooooooooool! What do you do?" Luffy asked, eyes shining as he began to poke at my stomach carefully.

_Oh god not there no ffffff_

Luffy's fingers hit my one ticklish spot on my ribs and then I was laughing hysterically, attempting to buck him off of me.

"I'm… I'm made of air!" I gasped as I tried to peel his fingers off of my sides.

It was at this moment that the galley door opened.

"Hey guys, we're baaaaa…" Usopp trailed off as he entered the galley, Sanji right behind him. The two of them stared at the three of us. Zoro was leaned as far back as possible, still trying to drink his beer, while I was splayed out across his lap. Luffy was straddling my legs, his hands digging under my shirt, my own hands wrapped around his wrists and attempting to peel him off.

"I don't even want to know, do I." Usopp deadpanned.

Sanji's expression twisted before smoothing out, and he lit up a smoke, taking a deep drag on it before pinning Luffy with a glare.

"Oi, you…" He said, and then his leg was extended right over the top of me, and Luffy was neck deep in the wall behind the couch. "DON'T ROUGHHOUSE IN MY GALLEY!" He roared, and then turned to Zoro and I. The swordsman's eyes narrowed, and I put my hands up in front of me with a weak smile.

Sanji scowled and aimed a feeble kick at my leg that barely brushed the fabric of my pants. "Out. I want to take stock of what you guys have so I can pick up supplies while we're here. Go wrestle outside or whatever. You too, marimo."

Zoro's legs shifted underneath me as he leaned forward. "What was that, love-cook?" He drawled. Sanji's teeth ground together as I placed a hand flat on Zoro's chest, pushing him back so I could sit up.

"Sanji, want to have a beer with us?" I offered, shaking my miraculously still-full bottle at him gently. The cook's glare abated after a moment, and he sighed.

"Maybe tomorrow." He relented, and I shrugged before taking a drink from the bottle and standing.

"I'm going to bed then. Oi, Luffy, you still stuck?" I called over to my captain, who had his hands on either side of his head and was tugging. His head emerged from the wood with a pop, and he grinned.

"Nope!" He said, and then latched his hands onto the back of the couch, and launched himself at me. I leaned backwards, letting him slingshot into Sanji, and the two of them went down in a tangle of limbs.

"THE HELL WAS THAT?" Our cook snapped, and I laughed while making my getaway.

* * *

The next few days were filled with food and drink and visits from the town doctor to ensure we were healing up properly.

Zoro and I were deep into our cups, having started drinking when we woke up after Zoro offhandedly said he could drink more than I could. I had taken that as a challenge, and we just hadn't stopped. The two of us were sitting in front of a house, and Sanji had joined us with plates stacked high with food, ordering us to eat already because we hadn't had breakfast and it was his duty as our chef to ensure we were eating properly.

After we had finished, Sanji leaned back with a satisfied smile and exhaled. "Ah." He huffed, and reached into his coat pocket for his cigarettes. "I sure ate a lot. Feels nice to stuff yourself every now and then." He commented, and Luffy bounced up to us, meat in either fist.

"Sanji, there was something on that melon you ate just now!" He exclaimed, and Sanji lifted his eyebrow even as Zoro glanced down at the meat clutched in Luffy's hands.

"What with all that?" The swordsman muttered.

Sanji lit up his cigarette and inhaled before answering. "Yeah, it was a melon with raw ham on it. It was called a 'Raw Ham Melon'." Our chef informed Luffy, who raced off to find the dish.

Zoro took a peevish drink from his tankard as I finished my own. "He's been eating non-stop." The swordsman grumbled, and I grinned sloppily.

"Well, he's made of rubber, you know." I said, and stood. "I'm off to get more ale. You're falling behind, Zo-ro~!" I teased, and a hand slipped around my arm.

"Actually, I was hoping I could steal you away for a little bit." Came the voice of our orangette navigator. She grinned up at me impishly and I smiled down at her.

"Sure! I'll be back, you guys!" I called.

"Where does that… that… _idiot_ , think he's going with Nami?" Our chef hissed. Zoro's response was lost to the crowd as Nami pulled me towards the doctor's office.

"Na-mi" I whined a bit, and slung an arm over her shoulders, careful of the bandage on her arm. "Why are we going to the doctor's office?" I rotated my arm to show that it was healed up. The orangette smiled and tugged me further down the street.

"I'm getting my Arlong Pirates tattoo removed. The doctor said he could cover your burn mark up as well." She said flippantly. I halted in my tracks, staring at her wide eyed.

_Cover it up?_

"I had Usopp make a little drawing of Luffy's flag. He seemed certain that you would like it." She said, and I took two long steps forward and pulled her into a sweeping hug that lifted her off her feet, and swung her around once before setting her down.

"Nami, you are brilliant!" I complimented her, a wide smile on my face. She stuck her tongue out at me.

"You owe me 10,000 beli!"

"WHAAAAAT?"

* * *

"Did you get lost on the way to the alcohol?"

I scowled at Zoro before shoving a tankard of 'the good stuff' in his face and sitting down next to him. "No." I said firmly, and took a long drink. Zoro sniffed his drink experimentally, and his eyebrows shot upwards. He glanced at me, took a drink, and then his eyes flew back to the tankard in his hand.

"That's the good stuff." He said, and a smile spread across his face.

_I know, I've got you pegged._

"In celebration of my new tattoo." I informed him, and his gaze dropped to my upper left arm. I pounded my drink back and smirked challengingly. The swordsman took a long swig of his ale before grinning smugly.

"You're still behind, by the way."

"Fuck!"

* * *

The next day, I awoke blearily to the sound of a million tiny men with hammers pounding away at the inside of my skull. I pulled my pillow over my head and attempted to bury myself in my hammock.

"Usopp, I swear to god if that is you hammering, I will beat you within an inch of your life unless you stop right now." I groaned, and heard Sanji chuckle from somewhere above me.

"Is he always this bad of a drunk?"

"He's not a bad drunk. This is just the hangover." Zoro informed the chef from next to my head, and then I found myself unceremoniously dumped from my cocoon onto the ground. I scrambled to my feet and tackled the swordsman, whose smug expression dropped off his face the second his back hit the deck.

"Don't you dare laugh at me, you, you, stubborn…" I hissed from where I was straddling him, and flinched as the throbbing in my head decided to go from 'irritating' to 'Holy Fuck Kill Me Now'. Zoro, not being a fool, took advantage of my moment of weakness, bucking his hips and using his weight advantage to flip me onto my back. He loomed over me, his hands planted on either side of my head, and smirked.

"I'll laugh all I want. I'm not the one who can't hold their liquor." He teased. I growled and reached up to push him off but before I got even close to achieving my goal, Zoro's hands were occupied with blocking Sanji's kick to the head.

"IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THAT, MARIMO!" Sanji roared at Zoro before turning to glance down at me. "I'll make you some tea, Kai." The chef offered serenely. I blinked and wormed out from beneath the swordsman to head for the hatch.

"Sounds good. Thanks Sanji." I said, still feeling groggy, and grinned at Zoro before making my way up the hatch.

_I'll get you drunk one of these days. But for now, I'll stick to actually staying in our chef's good graces._

Sanji followed me out into the sunshine moments later and ushered me into the galley. I flopped down onto the couch and closed my eyes, listening to the _tap-tap-tap swish cl-clink_ of Sanji moving around in the kitchen. My nose twitched at the scent of lemon and chamomile and a faint hint of honey, and sighed quietly as I heard Sanji beginning to get breakfast ready to go.

I heard Zoro's boots thud their way up the stairs, and the door creaked open a moment later.

"Luffy says we're going to set sail as soon as Nami get here." He informed us, and then the door swung closed again. I cracked an eye open as the smell of tea got closer, and pulled myself upright in time for Sanji to present me with the beverage.

"Thanks again, Sanji. This smells really good." I complimented, and he scoffed, but I caught him grin as he turned away from me.

"I'm glad someone appreciates my talents." He chuckled, and I took a sip before replying.

"If Luffy didn't think you were a good fit, he wouldn't have asked you." I told the blond. "He hasn't been wrong in his judgement yet."

The chef hummed and juggled some fairly expensive looking crockery. "You've been with him a long time then?" He asked casually.

"Zoro and I were the first ones to join." I shrugged, feeling my headache begin to melt away.

"You and the marimo? Really?"

"Yeah. It kind of just happened." I said, and Luffy smashed through the galley doors and bounced straight at me.

"Kaaaaiiiiii! You slept for soooo long! C'mon! We gotta go get ready to sail!" He exclaimed, and bodily pulled me out into the sunshine again. I winced and slunk towards the wall of the aftcastle, bumping shoulders with Zoro. The swordsman snorted at my pained expression, and Johnny and Yosaku chose that moment to step onto the dock.

"Zo-bro!" Yosaku called. "We're returning to our job as bounty hunters now, so thanks for all your help."

"We're saying goodbye, but we hope to meet you again in the future." Johnny finished, and Zoro huffed a laugh.

"Alright. Take care." He replied, voice booming in my ear. I pulled away from him with a hiss. Usopp shot me a wary look before shading his eyes with his hand.

"Are we really ready to go? Nami isn't here yet." He pointed out, and Zoro shrugged, smirking at Sanji.

"Maybe she's not coming after all." He drawled, and Sanji frowned.

"She had better be coming! I didn't sign up for some kind of oceanic sausage fest!" The chef snapped, and I let out an involuntary chuckle that was echoed by Zoro.

Luffy had food on the brain again though. "You." He accused Sanji. "You lied to me about those Raw Ham Melons, didn't you." He seethed angrily. Sanji looked ready to pitch Luffy over the side.

"WEIGH ANCHOR!" Nami's yell carried over the crowd, and I picked out our navigator as she turned a corner, running at the ship at full speed.

_Who did you piss off this time?_

"Why's she running?" Usopp wondered aloud.

"Who cares? She said to do it, so do it." Luffy ordered, and Zoro moved to do what had quickly become one of his duties on the Merry.

"UNFOLD THE SAILS!" Nami yelled again, and Luffy and I scrambled to do so. The ship began pulling away from the dock, and the villagers began shouting over the top of one another, trying to talk to Nami all at once as she weaved through them.

"Is it really okay for her to leave like this?" Sanji asked, looking mildly concerned. Luffy eyed her approach as he dropped from the lines, and clapped a hand on his hat.

"Just let her do it her own way." He responded. I ambled up next to them as Nami reached the end of the dock and jumped, launching herself into the air. She landed lightly on the deck, straightened, and lifted her shirt.

A veritable deluge of wallets fell from under her shirt, and I laughed.

_You little sneak._

"Wish ya luck!" Nami chirped at the people watching us leave, waving a beli at them as we left.

"She never changes." Usopp said blankly.

Zoro hummed, and glanced over at me. "Think she'll betray us again?" He asked, and I shook my head, smiling.

"Nope. She's free now." I replied, and the swordsman lifted a hand to ruffle my hair.

"LET'S GO!" Luffy shouted, and laughed his ass off until Cocoyashi village was out of sight.


	12. Finding Old Man Woonan

" _Kai's Log_

_It's been a week since we left Cocoyashi._

_I made the mistake of asking Nami what our finances looked like the day after we left. She informed me she had left all her money behind to help pay for reconstruction in Gosa. I then, very flatly, asked how we were going to pay for supplies at Loguetown, and she went white as a sheet._

_Apparently she had forgotten that we were broke without her._

_After much shouting and yelling, Sanji kicked us all out of the galley so Nami could look through her maps in an effort to figure out where we might be able to get some money from._

_Zoro and I were betting that she would make us raid some rival pirate groups, Luffy insisted that we were going to explore a deserted island, and Usopp was of the opinion that we would find a treasure trove somewhere. Sanji just handed me a beer and thanked me for advising him to get a lock for the fridge, considering that he now had to stretch our supplies a bit farther than he had intended._

_That's how we ended up trying to find the lost treasure of some pirate named Woonan._

_Stupid name, if you ask me._

_Usopp has been trying to catch fish with his cobbled-together-from-something rods all morning with little success, and Luffy is 'helping'. For whatever that's worth. Sanji pulled me aside a few minutes ago to tell me that we are going to have to figure out a way to bolster the food supplies. He looked worried, so I'm going to corner Usopp and get him to help me rig a fishing net or something later._

_The sniper and I had a long talk about his strategic intelligence back at Cocoyashi a few days ago, and I managed to impress upon him the stupidity of immobilizing the strongest members of the group when entering enemy territory. He's much more relaxed around me now, which is something of a relief. I've also grown accustomed to ignoring his 'Great Captain Usopp' adventure stories. Luffy seems to enjoy them, so as long as Usopp doesn't mean anything by them, its fine._

_Zoro trained himself into a stupor on the deck earlier today, and is currently sleeping behind me as I write. His wound is healing fairly well, and I've been badgering him about changing his bandages regularly. He's a terrible patient."_

Cloth shifted as the swordsman in question rolled over at the sound of Luffy's excited yelps, yawned, and sat up. "What are those idiots doing?" He rumbled, sounding tired.

" _Ah, he's awoken."_ My pencil scratched across the thick book spread open on my lap. "Fishing, or trying to." I replied absently. _"Nami is insistent that we find this island, and at this point, we have to keep going. Our food stores wouldn't last for another full week."_

Zoro's hand landed next to my left hip, and his head appeared over my right shoulder as he leaned against me, eyes scanning the page that I was slowly filling with neat handwriting. "I didn't know you kept a logbook." He said, and his eyebrow lifted a bit. I tilted my head to grin at him.

"Why not? It's a good way to keep my thoughts organized." I said and my smile dimmed as I recalled our situation. "By the way. Sanji told me we're running low on food supplies." I informed him, and he sighed before closing his eyes and pulling away from me.

"I'll keep an eye out." He replied in response to my unvoiced _'If you see anything about as large as a Sea King, kill it,'_ and got to his feet, stretching his back and yawning again. I closed my logbook just as Usopp started wiggling around over on the aftcastle deck.

"I g-g-g-g-g-G-G- _GOT IT!_ I GOT A BITE! SANJI, WE'RE HAVING FRESH FISH TONIGHT! THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE LARGEST TUNA IN THE OCEAN!" Our sniper shouted, struggling with whatever it was he had caught.

"Oh? Good job, Longnose!" Our cook called from inside the galley while Nami stepped out onto the deck to see what was going on. I raised an eyebrow at Usopp's antics, and set my logbook down on the deck before standing to get a better look at our sniper.

_Judging from the pressure Usopp's putting on the pole, its likely something big. Maybe we'll get lucky._

I caught Zoro's eye briefly and he nodded before stepping up next to the sniper, hand on his sword in case it was _not_ a tuna on the other end of the line. Usopp leaned back with all his weight, and the fishing rod bent almost double in his hands before the tension finally gave way, the line popping out of the water to reveal…

_A bottle?_

Usopp shrugged as the green glass hit the deck. "Just kidding." He said nonchalantly. Zoro groaned and palmed his face while I fixed Usopp with a blank stare.

"A bottle." I said, voice devoid of inflection. "You had that much trouble bringing up an empty bottle." I repeated, eyebrow beginning to twitch.

"A-ahhhh, I'll keep fishing! I'm sure I'll bring something else up!" The sniper exclaimed with a twitchy grin. I sighed and walked over to where the fishermen were failing at their duties to give Usopp an evaluative stare. Nami groaned and strode back around the side of the ship, presumably to return to the galley.

I turned to Zoro after a moment. "I'm thinking weights. Maybe you could draw up a training regimen?" I suggested, and the longnose paled abruptly at my words. The swordsman's eyes flickered over Usopp, picking out key muscle groups and judging how much the sniper could handle.

"My weights would be too heavy for him to use." He stated, crossing his arms. "We'd have to pick some up in Loguetown."

"That's fine, he can work his way up. He'd probably benefit from upper arm and chest strength the most, being our sniper." I mused, and Zoro shrugged.

"Yeah. He already gets enough cardio from running away." The swordsman snarked. I chuckled slightly, and Usopp began edging away from us, sweat beading down his face.

"WHO ARE YOU!?" Nami's panicky voice cut across the top of our conversation.

_Boarders? Shit. Who was on watch duty?_

I spun on my heel and barreled around the corner in time to see three men leap off the railing – _**Idiot One:**_ ( _black curly hair, pink…cowboy outfit),_ _ **Idiot Two:**_ _(pink hair, formal shirt and vest, grey slacks)_ , _**Idiot Three:**_ _(black topknot, ugly yellow shirt) -_ sacks on their backs. In the last one's hand was…

" _GET BACK HERE WITH MY LOGBOOK YOU SON OF A BITCH!"_ I snarled, and vaulted over the railing towards the ship that was floating next to the Merry. I landed on their deck in a crouch, rocking back on my heels as I straightened.

"Kaaaaiii!" Luffy yelled, and his arm stretched down to grip the side of the small boat's steering cabin. I gave the three thieves a smirk before bending down to pick up my logbook that had been tossed carelessly onto the deck.

"I'll be taking this back now." I said while my captain rocketed over my head and slammed into the thieves' mast. I sidestepped the three idiots who had tried to rob us while they attempted to flee their falling mast, strode past the mess Luffy had made of their steering cabin, and grinned up at the orangette peering down at us from the deck of the Merry.

"Oi, Nami! Catch!" I shouted, and chucked my logbook at her. She fumbled slightly, but managed to get hold of it before it fell into the water.

"What the hell are you dumbasses yelling about?" I heard Sanji bark as he emerged from the kitchen, and I snorted a laugh at the sight of his 'kiss the cook' apron.

_Pink…frills…_

"You're late to the party, Sanji!" I called up at him. Zoro glanced over at our chef and the corner of his mouth quirked upwards in amusement when he caught sight of Sanji's borrowed apron.

_Nami, you are a strange woman with strange tastes._

"Maaan..." Luffy complained as he stood from the wreckage that was once the steering cabin of the ship. "I missed." He began brushing himself off casually while the Neopolitan Trio crawled out from underneath the yardage. Upon seeing him, they tripped over themselves trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"What the hell was that?" Pink hair exclaimed, and curly hair clung to him tighter than a barnacle. "It's like his body is made of rubber!"

"Rubber?" Echoed Luffy. "Oh. Yeah. I'm a rubberman." He said, expression blank. My eyes tracked down him, automatically searching for new cuts or bruises and…

_Oh, hello kid._

There was a kid, maybe six or seven years old, who was lying underneath a few broken boards, lumps sprouting all over his face.

"Don't tell me he's like El Drago!" One of the trio said, and I ignored them in favor of bending down next to the kid.

"Oi, you okay?" I asked, starting to pull the boards off with a frown.

_There's a rope tying him to the steering column?_

I frowned, drawing my knife and cutting the rope off the kid.

_Were they forcing him to work for them?_

"Luffy! Kai! Look out!" Zoro shouted suddenly, and I had just enough time to look up -

_Galleon sailing towards us, not familiar with that pirate flag, golden glow from its main deck?_

\- before the sound of someone yelling hit our ears. Immediately after that, a wide, blue, crackling beam of… either light or energy plowed through the water towards us, massive waves foaming in its wake, unbalancing the tiny vessel that Luffy and I were standing on.

_Shit!_

Luffy and I toppled over along with the ship, and I heard Zoro roar Sanji's name before I hit the water. The water churned as I sank into the depths, and I lost track of Luffy's body.

_I trust the crew. They won't let us drown._ _**Zoro** _ _won't let us drown._

Despite my trust, I was beginning to panic. My breath was close to running out by the time a hand caught my wrist and pulled me somewhere. An arm wound around my waist, pulling me against a chest not quite as broad as Zoro's. _Zoro roaring Sanji's name seconds before we hit the water._ Another arm crossed over my back, and we began moving.

_I'm out of air!_

I focused on not taking a breath, but my vision began spotting and I choked. A minute later Sanji and I were breaching the surface. The chef leaned back into the waves, cradling my head on his chest while I coughed and struggled to breathe again. His hand moved to the back of my neck after a muttered curse, and then his lips were pressed firmly over mine, breathing air into my lungs. I coughed again when he pulled back, and managed to crack my eyes open with a groan, body limp and unresponsive.

"Shit." Sanji muttered, and his fingers flew to the back of my skull, checking for bumps and bleeding.

_Ah, he thinks I hit my head on something._

"WHAT THE _HELL_ WAS **THAT** , SHIT-COOK?" I heard Zoro snarl from somewhere nearby, and let my eyes close again.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR?" Sanji snapped right back at him, and I felt myself being lifted partially out of the water and onto something solid. I coughed and felt the – _grains under my fingertips -_ wood shift with another person's weight.

"Ahhh, I thought I was going to die!" I heard Luffy exclaim.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT FOR!" Zoro was more worried about picking a fight with Sanji than the fact that we had just been blasted by some kind of beam, apparently.

"NO, I DON'T! I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR DAMN BRAIN, MARIMO!" I coughed again and cracked my eyes open enough to see Sanji heaving himself onto the piece of wreckage currently acting as a float. He pushed me the rest of the way onto the makeshift raft before helping pull Luffy out of the water.

Zoro lifted the kid from before onto the boat by the back of his shirt before hauling himself upward, and I managed to twitch my fingers a tiny bit. The swordsman caught the motion and had me propped upright in the next second. I leaned against him, trying to catch my breath, and shot Sanji a weak thumbs up.

"Thanks for… the save. Was running… running out of air." I coughed, and grinned at the chef.

Our cook sat back on his heels, hair in complete disarray, suit soaked and dripping water, and _he was still wearing the apron._ I found myself laughing as his expression went from confused and irritated to horrified outrage and what looked like mild disgust.

"You… you thought I was… I WOULD… I WOULD _NEVER_...!"

Luffy started laughing at the gobsmacked look on Sanji's features. I ignored the squabbling idiots in favor of the kid who we had brought with us.

"Who're you? You with those thieves?" I asked as the little guy tried to catch his breath as well.

"What? NO WAY!" He denied vehemently. "How dare you say that to the great pirate Tobio?"

I glanced the kid over. "You're a pirate? Nice to meet you. I'm 'Godhand' Kai, bounty of ten million beli currently." I leaned forward and held out my hand for a shake. The kid accepted it before what I had said really registered.

"A pleasure to meet you Miss K… _ **EHHHHHH?**_ _**You have a BOUNTY?"**_

Zoro broke out into laughter at the kid's incredulous expression. My eyebrows rose for other reasons. "Miss?" I questioned. Sanji looked faintly ill.

"Mister! I meant mister!" The kid backtracked quickly, and I suppressed a snort of laughter.

_No, no, you were right the first time._

"Don't worry about it." I waved his worried expression away and ran my fingers through my hair, pushing it out of my face. "So if you weren't with those idiots, why were you on their boat?" I asked, and the kiddoes expression twisted.

"Well, I was on an adventure to find treasure hidden on an island, but El Drago caught me and forced me to work…" He trailed off, and my attention got stuck on the word _forced_ before he picked back up energetically. "I mean, I pretended to join them in order to find the island of gold!" He said triumphantly.

Zoro's shoulder pressed against my own, and I uncurled my left fist, idly shaking it out and dipping it into the water to clean the blood out from under my nails where they had pierced skin.

"El Drago?" I confirmed the soon-to-be-dead man's name, and the kid nodded.

"He's the one who shot that beam at you guys. Those three pirates were part of his crew." He said, and I hummed.

"Hey, do you guys smell oden?" Luffy asked sudenly. Zoro's face did something… very interesting. His eyes went wide, his mouth creased into an unnaturally flat line, and one of his eyebrows curved upwards while the other attempted to bury itself into the bridge of his nose.

And then he and Luffy _grinned_ at one another, and reached for broken pieces of wood to use as paddles.

" _Fuck."_ I uttered, and held onto the wood beneath me for dear life.

"What the hell are you doooooOOOO _OHH_ _**SHIT!"**_ Sanji almost got knocked off the wreckage from the force of Luffy and Zoro's paddling.

"Guys, the Merry?" I tried to get them to turn back, but by then everyone was too busy screaming and shouting to listen to me.

* * *

We paddled up to a floating food-stand-style ship after ten minutes of yelling back and forth at one another. It had a green and blue roof, and some clothes were hanging on a line above the food stall. Sanji gave the air an experimental sniff while untying his apron.

"That smells pretty good." He said, sounding somewhat surprised. A tan older man stepped out from behind the stall at the sound of our voices with a smile on his face that morphed into a look of surprise when his eyes fell on our little wannabe pirate.

"Tobio?" The man breathed, and the kid's eyes widened.

"Grandpa Ganzo." The kid said, shuffling his feet awkwardly. The older man crossed his arms over his chest and grunted.

"How many times are you going to do this before you're satisfied? You always run away then come back after a few days." He grumbled, and the four of us not involved in the conversation took the opportunity to leap onto the deck of the restaurant ship.

"No I don't! I'm here because my underlings were hungry. I thought I'd feed them some oden." The kid said hurriedly, and I chuckled.

"I'd rate his fast talking as a five out of ten on the Usopp scale." I commented quietly as I sat down between Sanji and Zoro. The chef cast a critical eye over the interior of the food stall before saying anything.

"Speaking of Usopp, do you think he and Nami are alright?" He asked quietly, and I frowned.

"I really have no idea." I replied while burying my elbow in Zoro's ribs. He hissed, setting the plate he had just picked up back down, and shot me a glare. "Don't give me that look. It's bad manners to start eating without the permission of the chef." I told him, and for some reason, his glare rose above my head and drilled straight into Sanji.

"Why are you glaring at me, broccoli brains?" Our cook snapped, eyebrow twitching, and reached for his inner coat pocket where he kept his cigarettes. His face fell when he realized that they were completely soaked from his dip in the ocean.

"You say something, dartboard-brow?" And off the two went, bickering at each other over my head.

"Oi, can we get some oden?" I leaned back in my stool, flagging the old man who ran the shop down.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, we were chowing down happily.

"This is really good oden!" Luffy exclaimed with his mouth full. Zoro didn't even bother trying to correct our captain's table manners, too busy stuffing his face.

"It's _extremely_ good." Sanji reamrked with a grin.

"A compliment from Sanji! The old guy is a first-rate oden chef then!" I laughed lightly.

The wannabe pirate brat huffed derisively. "He's just a stubborn old guy. His oden is good, but that's all." He complained, and Sanji's grip of his chopsticks tightened. The old man turned around and humphed at the kid briefly before continuing to cook. "Every day he cooks nothing but oden, and there aren't that many customers either." The kid continued, and his voice dropped. "I'm tired of being poor."

I cocked an eyebrow and glanced over at Sanji. Our chef's expression was unreadable as the kid kept talking.

"I'll never be a cook like grandpa! I want to be a great pirate like Woonan!" The kid exclaimed. The blond sitting next to me stiffened.

_You just put your foot in your mouth and started chewing, kid._

Sanji very carefully set his chopsticks down. "Oi, brat." He said, hands perfectly steady. "Don't you dare insult a sea chef's cooking." His voice was studiously level.

"Huh?" Tobio looked confused, and I took pity on the little guy.

"Tobio, there's no rule that says you can't be a pirate and a cook at the same time. One of the most famous pirates to sail Grand Line, 'Red Leg' Zeff, was not only the captain of his ship, but he was the cook as well." I explained, and the brat's eyes widened while the old man behind the stall grunted.

"This Woonan guy, is he really strong?" Luffy asked, having finished inhaling as much food as he could for the moment. Zoro shrugged and reached across me to grab some more food.

"I thought he died a long time ago." Our swordsman commented idly.

"He's alive!" Tobio exclaimed. "I'm sure he's somewhere on the gold island right now! And I heard that El Drago is going to the gold island, so I have a pretty good idea of where it is!" The kid got more and more excited as he talked, eyes shining. "I'm going to ask to join Woonan's crew!"

"Why do you want to join him?" Sanji asked, picking up his chopsticks to continue eating. The kid's expression brightened even more.

"Woonan was a pirate who stole a third of all the world's treasure, but he only took it from evil people! He's a strong pirate!" Tobio declared with pride, and I grinned.

_Ahhh, hero worship._

"Alright!" Luffy smiled. "I want to meet this Woonan guy! If he's a good guy, I'll ask him to join us!" He announced.

Tobio stared, his grandpa stared, and the three of us who knew Luffy let out resigned sighs.

_Welp. Looks like we're in for another adventure._

"WHAAAAT?" Tobio's jaw was hanging down by his knees. "WHY WOULD WOONAN WANT TO JOIN YOU?"

Luffy grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Because I'm the man who will become the Pirate King." He stated simply. The old man's jaw shut with a click. "I'm going to Grand Line to find One Piece. Since I'm going to be the Pirate King, it's only natural to want a legendary pirate to be on my crew." Luffy explained further, and I smothered a chuckle at the brat's angry scowl.

"Be serious! If you're going to say that, why not just say that I'll never become a member of Woonan's crew!" He snapped, and Luffy's grin made way for a confused look.

"Why would I say that?" He asked. Zoro rolled his shoulders and sat back on his stool, pinning Tobio with a serious gaze.

"Oi, brat. He's serious about wanting to be the Pirate King." He informed the kid. After a long moment, Tobio sighed, as if he still didn't believe us.

"Before you go do that, we still have some unfinished business." Grandpa Ganzo rumbled, a dark expression crossing his face. Sanji tilted his head sideways.

"Oh? What's that?" He asked, kicking back in his chair a bit to free up his legs in case a fight started.

"You need to pay for your meal."

While my crewmates pulled faces, I reached into a side pocket of my pants for the money pouch I kept hidden from Nami. "How much do we owe you?" I inquired, and the old man pulled out an abacus, fingers flying across it while he mumbled.

"203 kamodoki, 215 seaweed, 350 fish balls, 146 white radishes, konnyaku, chikuwa, eggs…" He trailed off, but his fingers kept going.

_Aa, I hope I have enough to pay for this…_

"I prepared this oden with my very soul." He said seriously, and held up his two index fingers. "Therefore, you owe me 14 beli."

I fell out of my chair.

"FOURTEEN BELI?!" Sanji shrieked as his hands slammed down on the table and he rose, aghast at the price. Even Zoro looked shocked. Luffy glanced at us with a worried frown.

"Is that a lot?"

"A NOSEBLEED COSTS MORE!" Zoro shouted at our captain. I pulled myself back onto the stool and gave Sanji a pained look.

"Sanji." I got his attention, my voice urgent. "How much would you say the correct price would be for a meal like the one we just ate?" I asked, trusting his estimates on how much food should cost. He grit his teeth and gave me the number.

_Shit._

I swallowed and handed my entire money pouch over to the old man. "Here. This is all I've got." I said, and the old man scowled.

"Too much." He refused, and our resident chef's last nerve snapped.

"HANG ON A DAMN MINUTE, OLD MAN!" He yelled, a vein in his cheek throbbing. "I can tell you're using top quality ingredients, you're getting your seafood fresh, and your cooking skill is good enough that _I'm_ impressed with it! You're going to sit there and tell me that the meal I just ate, which was better than some of the dishes the other chefs made on the _Baratie_ , was worth fourteen beli?" Sanji's fingers twitched in the direction of his coat pocket again, searching for cigarettes that weren't there.

"Brat, my prices are my business." Ganzo said sternly, his arms crossed over his chest. "I won't accept more money than I'm owed."

Sanji's mouth twisted into a snarl, and my mind worked furiously.

"Alright." I said, and everyone turned to look at me. I lowered my fist from where it had been in front of my mouth, and set my arm down on the table. "You won't accept the money for the food, fine. But we need to find our ship, and I don't want to try our luck on that piece of driftwood again. So take us where we need to go, and keep the rest of the money as payment for services rendered." I reasoned, and frowned slightly. "Come to think of it, Nami probably won't let the fact that we got robbed stand. Knowing her, she probably found a way to sneak onto that pirate ship." I mused, and then snapped my fingers.

"Right! Tobio." I turned to the brat, who suddenly looked very nervous to have my full attention. "You said you knew where El Drago was going, right? That's probably where we'll find Nami and Usopp. Can you take us there?"

Sanji, Tobio, and the old man _stared_. Luffy grinned, and Zoro chuckled. The old man regained his composure and grinned at me.

"You haggle like a fishwife. Fine! I'll accept the money in exchange for taking you to the island. Tobio, you had better know what you're talking about when you say that you know where El Drago is going!"

I grinned widely as the two of them set about preparing to set sail, and a slow smile spread across Sanji's face. Luffy wrapped his rubbery arms around me and laughed. "Good job, Kai!" He complimented, and I chuckled.

"It was nothing, Luffy."

* * *

Ganzo dropped us off on the island a half hour later. I got off the boat and stretched, shooting a glance up and down the shoreline.

_No sign of the Merry. No idea where Usopp is. Nami is probably causing trouble on the pirate ship that blasted us._

"Let's go explore!" Luffy crowed, and loped into the forest. I sighed and snagged Sanji by the sleeve, pulling him away from his argument with the old man about food pricing.

"Captain's leaving, c'mon Sanji." I said blandly, trotting after Luffy and Zoro. The chef stumbled before catching his balance, and I let go of his arm.

"Don't just drag me arou…" Sanji trailed off, and his fingers lightly circled my left wrist. "What did you do?" The chef snapped as he dragged my hand towards him to inspect the bloody half-moon imprints where my nails had dug into my skin earlier.

"Ah. I don't like El Drago." I understated, remembering _Tobio's expression twisting, "He caught me and forced me to work…"_

I exhaled slowly, and Sanji hummed before releasing my wrist. He shot me a look out of the corner of his eye and reached up to loosen his tie. "You should take better care of your hands." He said quietly.

_Better care of my hands? But… ah. Of course. I've never seen Sanji use his hands in a fight, he only uses kicks. He's also a cook, he needs his hands for that. So hands are what he pays attention to._

"Hey, wait!"

The four of us turned around to see Tobio racing after us, and I exchanged a look with Zoro.

_What does the kid want now?_

He ground to a halt in front of Luffy, and caught his breath. "You guys…" he began, and gathered his determination. "To join Woonan's crew, I would have to be strong, right?" He asked, and grimaced. "I don't think I'm very strong."

Zoro crossed his arms over his chest while Luffy put his hands on his hips. "Then get stronger." My captain told the kid simply. Tobio looked back up at us in confusion, and Luffy grinned. "I have my ambition, and you have yours. So you should just keep moving towards your goal."

_Unflappable Luffy Logic at its finest._

Tobio was less than impressed. "You're a moron." He muttered under his breath. I grinned and leaned over the brat.

_You'll never understand what he meant with that bad attitude._

"Ah, that's right, you wanted to find Woonan!" I said, smiling widely as if I had forgotten. Zoro snorted behind me, not taken in by my clueless act, and Tobio gave me a wary look.

"Yeah. So? What's that got to do with you?" He asked rudely as my smile widened even farther. I clamped a hand down on the kid's shirt and hefted him up over my shoulder, ignoring his sudden shouts and protests and flailing limbs.

"Well, come on then! Might as well come explore with us!" I said, and marched off into the forest.

"KAI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Zoro yelled at my retreating back.

Sanji got in on the fun, stomping after me. "WE AREN'T KIDNAPPING THE BRAT!"

"Piiiiirate!" I sing-songed over my shoulder in reply.

"OHHHH, GOOD IDEA KAI!" Luffy exclaimed from behind me, and his proclamation was followed by twin smacking sounds.

"NO IT ISN'T!" Our chef and swordsman shouted in unison. I cackled and charged ahead, the three of them thundering after me.

* * *

I strolled to a halt at the edge of a cliff that overlooked a stunning vista of verdant green forest and deep blue water. It was a calming, relaxing sight.

The squirming brat on my shoulder put a bit of a damper on it though.

"Put me down already you idiot!" He snapped in my ear as three people crashed through the bushes behind me.

"Put you down? But then you'd get lost and El Drago would catch you again. You said he was coming to this island after all." I reasoned casually as my three crewmates finally caught up with me. I glanced over at Zoro, whose eyes narrowed as he picked up my train of thought.

_If El Drago is coming here, and he's already caught the kid before, what's to stop him from catching him again? He's safest with us._

"WE'RE ALREADY LOST!" The kid screamed, and I pulled him off my shoulder, setting him down on the ground.

"Don't be so angry!" Luffy told him cheerily. Zoro took a few steps forward, closing off the protective half-circle we had formed around the kid before speaking.

"Anyway, Woonan's castle should be around here somewhere. All we have to do is look for that." He stated, shrugging his shoulders.

Sanji raised his eyebrow. "So why were we running around in circles then?" He questioned, brushing leaves from his suit jacket.

"Tch. If we knew where we were, it wouldn't be a problem." Zoro retorted, and I nodded my agreement.

_It's hard to navigate in the blues when you're used to travelling Grand Line. The magnetic fields make finding north one hell of a challenge._

"That…doesn't make any sense." The chef said flatly, fingers twitching again. Tobio looked between the four of us with an expression of mounting despair.

"You guys suck." He intoned.

"Hey! What's that over there?" Luffy asked, shading his eyes as he leaned over the side of the cliff. I took a long step over to grab the back of his vest before peering into the distance.

_Two tall stone buildings?_

"Woonan's castle, maybe." I hazarded a guess, and pulled away from the ledge. Luffy ran past me to the other side of the clearing. "It looks pretty far away, so we should get go…" I trailed off as two rubbery arms stretched out to grip trees on either side of our group, facing towards the castle. "…ing…" A glance over my shoulder in trepidation revealed Luffy grinning like a maniac.

" _ **RUBBER ROCKET!"**_

" _I DIDN'T PURCHASE TICKETS FOR THE ROCKET EXPRESS!"_ I screamed at my captain as I flew through the sky, arms stretched wide and fingers spread, clutching at the air currents surrounding us to ensure we stayed together and in the air long enough to reach our destination.

Luffy just laughed.

* * *

We arrived to explosions.

Luffy had wrapped his arms around Tobio in preparation for a hard landing, but I was able to soften our descent enough so that we only made a _small_ crater in the ground. The explosions that had been going off ceased, giving us time to recover from our impromptu flight.

"Damnit Luffy!" Zoro snapped as he picked himself up and took a look around. I followed suit a moment later, picking out details.

_Ah, there's Usopp and Nami… and this guy. Huh._

"That's some pretty flimsy armor." I commented, and Zoro glanced where I was pointing with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh?" He questioned. I nodded while the lion-like man towering a full chest, shoulders, and head above me growled. I ignored the sharp teeth flashing at me and indicated his pauldrons, which were made out of solid gold.

"Gold is not a good material for any type of defensive or offensive gear. It's extremely soft when compared to steel or other compound metals. Not only that, but it isn't even fitted properly. It's a wonder that it's staying on him at all." I expounded, and the red haired idiot in gold armor sneered down at us hatefully.

_Hey, I'm just telling the truth._

"Who are you?" He demanded.

"I'm Luffy," My captain said simply, "the man who will become the Pirate King." He then pointed at our swordsman, "That's Zoro,"

"Yo."

The finger swung to me next. "That's Kai,"

I put my face in my palm. "Luffy, we've talked about this."

Our chef was the last to be introduced. "And that's Sanji."

"Nice to meet you." The blond greeted calmly.

That little bit of business done, Luffy spun and faced the ruins. "WOONAN! YOU THERE? ANSWER IF YOU'RE IN THERE!" He shouted. The sound of his voice echoed back a few times before El Drago laughed.

"Woonan? That guy died a long time ago." He scoffed, and Luffy's eyes narrowed seriously.

"You don't know that until you see him." My captain said quietly. "If there's at least one person who thinks he's alive, then he may still be alive!" He finished, voice firm, and Tobio's eyes widened.

_The brat is beginning to get it._

"What are you talking about?" El Drago sneered, and then Tobio darted to the front of our group, holding a stick out in front of him.

"Back off! I'm going to protect Woonan's gold!" He announced, brandishing his chosen weapon. I shifted my feet to be able to cover him in a moment's notice if need be. "A bad guy like you doesn't deserve to have it!"

_Showing some spine, kid?_

El Drago stared at Tobio for a long moment before laughing. I glanced to the side, checking on Usopp and Nami…

_Aaaand they're gone._

I looked back at El Drago, who was surrounded by a golden aura and beginning to open his mouth. My expression blanked.

"Oh hell."

El Drago yelled and a crackling blue laser blasted out of his mouth towards us. I reflexively brought up a barrier of solid air between us and him, but it ripped apart like wet paper the second the beam touched it.

_**Fu-** _

Blackness.


	13. El Drago Takes to the Skies

I woke up - w _rists shackled above head, stone pressing against my back, slumped against wall, energy drain the same as seastone cuffs_ – and felt my heart leap into my throat.

_Captured. El Drago?_

I cracked one eye open, scanning the room beneath my lashes to get the general idea of where I was.

_Light source coming in from right side of room but very dim, escape route. Not in a proper cell. Stone walls and floor. Not wood, so not El Drago's ship, suggests still on Gold Island. The bloodstains on ground. Straw to soak up blood. Torture room._

_Torture room. The others._ _**SHIT.** _ _I can handle it but…_

After a moment of careful listening for movement and hearing none, I tilted my head back against the stone wall and opened my other eye to take in more of the room. As they both began to adjust to the poor lighting, my mouth went abruptly dry and my heart plummeted.

_No. no. nononononononononononononononononono_

The rest of the crew were chained against the wall opposite me the same way I was, bloodied and bruised, but alive. Luffy was slumped down bonelessly, Zoro had been muzzled, of all things, and Sanji's legs were cuffed together. Usopp and Nami looked to be in the worst shape though, covered in cuts and bruises larger than Zoro's fists.

_Fuck Fuck Fuck_

I gritted my teeth and pushed myself into a semi-upright standing position, back scraping painfully against the stone wall behind me. I licked my lips and swallowed, biting back a cough before speaking.

_If Luffy wakes up first, he'll make a lot of noise and alert the guards, if there are any. Zoro wouldn't be able to speak past the muzzle, and it'd be kinder to let Usopp and Nami rest._

"Sanji." I rasped, and the chef twitched slightly. "Sanji!" I tried again urgently, voice still carefully quiet. He hissed quietly _pain they hurt him somehow_ while pulling himself into consciousness before leaning forward as much as he was able.

"Kai?" He confirmed my identity blearily.

I slumped in relief momentarily before turning my mind to how to get us out.

"Good. You're awake. Keep it down. Can you sit up?" I asked, already running over _if we can attract the attention of one of the guards, we can find a way to get out. If Zoro can get out of his chains and we can get him a weapon, he can grab the keys and get us free. Usopp and Nami need to get out first, they're the most heavily injured. Luffy and I are going to be the most problematic, seastone shackles require special keys. If Zoro and Sanji can…If If If If if if if if_

The sound of Sanji's chains clinking against stone pulled me out of my thoughts. "Yeah." The cook said, sounding disoriented as he tried to move his arms and found that he couldn't. "What happened? The last thing I remember is that gold bastard hitting us with a beam." His head turned to the right and to the left before craning around to examine his cuffs.

"I don't know, I just woke up myself. Can you get Zoro awake?" I replied, and at the sound of his name, the swordsman's head tilted back with a muffled groan, the dim light glancing off the metal encasing his jaw. His hands clenched into fists above his head as he pulled himself upright, stumbling only once.

"They _muzzled_ you?" Sanji's voice rose slightly in disbelief, and Zoro let out a low, rough sounding growl. I perked up at the sound of footsteps coming our way, and struggled to stand straighter.

"Someone's coming. If we can catch them off guard, we might have a chance at escaping." I breathed quickly, voice soft and low to avoid being heard by anyone outside. Zoro nodded his understanding, muscles tensing visibly.

_Heavy footfalls: large person, either tall or fat. Wearing a bit of a heel, leather soled- shoes. Faint sound of fabric brushing against fabric, person is most likely wearing either a long coat or a dress. Cigar smoke, that particular brand is…_

My mind instantly blanked to white.

"No." I heard someone say, voice shaking. _Huh. Is that… me?_ "No, no no, what is he… he's not supposed to be here."

Zoro's sharp inhale was the only thing I heard before the door swung open and _He_ entered, his long fur lined coat sweeping behind him, expression deceptively bored-looking, smelling like sand and dust and heat and blood and death. He reached out to the side, and light flooded the room, painful in its intensity.

"I see you've awoken _, Morrigaine_." His deep voice slid down my spine like the fingers of the dead, and his eyes drilled straight through me, pinning me to the wall through sheer force of will.

"Morrigaine?" Sanji echoed, his face abruptly as pale as freshly fallen snow. "You're… a woman?" He asked, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the man who was in front of me, the one who featured heavily in my worst nightmares.

"Crocodile." My voice sounded as faint as I felt.

Zoro's eyes widened and he lunged forward with a feral snarl, twisting against his restraints as he realized _who_ exactly the man was. Crocodile didn't even glance in his direction before moving to tower directly over me, Zoro and Sanji disappearing from sight behind Crocodile's coat. I glanced up, up, up at him, my eyes just barely level with the middle of his stomach. He stared back down at me impassively before speaking.

"You've grown bold. The correct term is 'Master', _Morrigaine_. Or have you forgotten your manners after two years away from me?" Crocodile _purred_ , and the cold metal of his hook curled around the back of my neck, tugging me a full step forward effortlessly. I reflexively clenched my fists, struggling against his inexorable pull to the best of my ability, and stilled only when his knuckles brushed against my temple, slowly sliding down my cheek.

_No._

I couldn't stop the terrified whimper that made its way out of my throat as his fingers trailed across my jawline, lazily making their way to my chin and beginning to trace a path down my throat.

_Stop…please…_

"Stop, you bastard!" Sanji's voice snapped, accompanied by Zoro's deep, feral growl and the sound of his heavy boots scraping across stone. Crocodile's fingers stiffened, then he released me with a chuckle before turning to face the chef and swordsman.

_Nononononononononononono_

"I can do what I like with my property." He informed them conversationally, and glanced over his shoulder at me. "I paid quite a bit of money for her. I don't really need any of you though." He mused, casting an eye over my crew, hand descending towards Luffy's chest and I

_I_

_No_

_Please_

_Please don't…_

" _Please don't hurt them Master I'll do whatever you want just_ _ **please don't hurt them I'LL DO ANYTHING-"**_

Crocodile cut me off with a laugh. "You've always been lovely while begging, Morrigaine," hand getting closer and _ **closer**_ _God no -_ _ **someone's screaming**_ _\- PLEASE -_ _ **it sounds familiar -**_ _DON'_ _ **tkillhi**_ _ **mHES**_ _my_ _CAP_ _ **T**_ _ **AIN-**_

-the door of the cell slammed open, ripped entirely off its hinges and blasting into the wall opposite it as a - _black pompadour, long white sleeveless coat, white tank top, baggy white pants and black boots and lavender eyes -_ man stalked through the opening.

**And everything froze.**

"Hey," He said conversationally, taking in the room. His eyes narrowed, he vanished from sight, and then was putting Crocodile halfway into the wall with a single punch. "Leave the lady alone, _**asshole**_." The last word was spoken in a deep snarl of rage.

Crocodile didn't get up.

" _Daiya_." I breathed, a knot of emotions that I didn't want to touch solidifying in my chest as I struggled to not break down in tears right then and there.

His eyes snapped to me and the rest of his body followed suit, appearing in front of me, already opening the cuffs, pulling me into him as my arms came down.

"Kairi, shhh, it's okay. It's okay. He can't hurt you."

 _None of this is real_.

"I'm…dreaming again. Aren't I." I mumbled into his chest.

He ran a hand through my hair in a comforting gesture, one that never failed to help calm me down. "Yeah….yeah you are. Sorry." His chin rested against the top of my head as I hesitantly curled my arms around him, slowly relaxing. Everything else faded into the background.

Literally.

"You know, you gotta stop coming back here." He said after a moment, hug tightening briefly. "I mean I'll always come break you out when you dream about Ol' Sandy, but this isn't healthy for you, ya know?"

"It's… it's not like I can control it, and you know that." I mumbled into his chest.

"I keep telling you, you can work on that, but do you listen? Nooooo. Stubborn woman." He scolded lightly, and then gave me the lopsided grin that made me fall for him in the first place. I couldn't help it, I laughed a little, and his grin got even wider. "Hey, I'm being serious here." He said, eyes sparkling.

"You're ridiculous." I smiled, letting go of him to wipe my eyes.

"Yeah, well…" his voice went husky as he tilted my head up a little, and my breath caught at the look in his eyes. "All I really want is for you to be happy."

"I am." I murmured, and he leaned down to press his lips against my forehead. My eyes closed, focusing on the sensation of his (fake) skin against mine before he took a step back.

"See you in your dreams, babe." He said with one last grin before I felt myself waking up.

* * *

I found myself lying on my side with a wet face ( _was I crying while sleeping?),_ a blade of grass up my nose, and my view dominated by black pants and a hint of green.

"You awake?" our swordsman rumbled from somewhere above me, and I shifted one of my hands up to wipe my face off before replying.

"Yeah. I'm up. Where…."

"The others are fine." Zoro pre-empted my question with the answer, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "You okay?"

I braced an arm against the ground and pushed myself into a sit before answering, taking time to make sure my voice was steady. "Yeah. Just dreams." I responded, eyeing our surroundings and definitely not avoiding making eye contact with the swordsman.

_Blue sky, not in a cell, puffy clouds, trees, a stone statue of a whale…_ _**It was a dream.** _ _El Drago fired his beam, I blacked out… Not captured. Not Crocodile's prisoner._

"El Drago's power fucks with me, apparently." I murmured, and heard Zoro's earrings chime as he shifted beside me.

"How so?" He responded, voice equally low.

"If sound travels through air…I'm probably going to black out every time that beam hits me." I mused, taking stock of my various aches and pains. To be blunt, I felt like I'd gone ten rounds with a sandbelt….

… _Nope, not thinking about it._

"Then don't get hit." Zoro proffered.

I blinked. Tilted my head slightly. Blinked again. Sighed. "I actually can't tell if you are giving that as actual advice or if you're just being a smartass."

"Yes."

"Ah. Both." I rolled my eyes slightly in amusement at the broad grin he shot at me, finding myself feeling better with the light banter _\- it's normal it means everything is fine, I'm fine he's fine everyone is fine -_ and tuned into the conversation the others were having.

"…well that's true. I'd like to avoid flying through the sky again as much as possible for the rest of the day. Twice was enough." Sanji's words were punctuated by the sound of an explosion.

"Woonan's castle!" I heard Tobio exclaim, and he raced towards the cliff, Usopp and Nami hot on his heels with Luffy and Sanji following after. I took a moment to just _breathe_ before getting to my feet and joining them, Zoro falling in at my side without a word. We crested the top of the hill and gazed down at the ruins of the castle below us that was still collapsing in places.

"I guess the gold is under all the rubble." Usopp sighed, running a hand over the top of his bandana. Nami snorted faintly under her breath while Tobio glared up at our sniper.

"You're after the gold too?" He snapped fiercely, hands raising as if getting ready to fight, and Usopp backtracked quickly.

"No, no, that's not what I mean. The gold is Woonan's, if he's still alive." The longnose's mouth kicked up nervously while Tobio's anger rose.

"He's still alive!" the brat shouted at him.

_Probably not, but if he believes it, then we should keep looking until we know one way or the other._

"The gold isn't there." Nami cut into the conversation with a shake of her head, and Zoro's eyebrow ticked upwards.

"How do you know?"

"Are you questioning Nami-swan's words, shitty marimo?" Sanji growled, shifting his weight in preparation for a fight.

_Nami-_ _**swan?** _ _Where the hell did THAT come from?_

Nami ignored the two bickering men like a pro. "There wasn't a single sign of anyone living in the castle." She told the rest of us, and then her hand slipped down the front of her shirt to retrieve a battered old map, effectively distracting Sanji from his feud with our swordsman. "It's a decoy. Woonan is probably somewhere else."

"Ohhhh, Nami-swan is amazing to have figured it out so quickly!" Sanji praised as he twirled back towards us. Usopp grinned while looking over Nami's shoulder at the map.

"Ohhhh, that's the treasure map!" He exclaimed, and I peeked over Nami's other shoulder. Zoro stepped up next to me to glance at it as well.

"When did you nab that?" I asked.

"Did you forget who I am?" Nami replied with a teasing grin, pulling out a box of matches and lighting one.

"What are you doing?" Usopp stammered what we were all thinking.

"She's going to set the map on fire." I drawled, and ducked a kick from Sanji.

"Watch!" Was Nami's insightful answer as she moved to place the match underneath the map. "If my intuition is correct, then there must be a secret message. This is an old trick…" she trailed off as writing appeared on the map, and Luffy and Sanji joined the circle surrounding our orangette.

"Cool!" Usopp said with a grin.

Then the map lit on fire and burned up in a split second.

"Called it." I calmly stated into the silence that followed.

Birds chirped in the distance. Veins popped on Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp's head.

" _ **NAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIII!"**_ the three of them roared at her.

" _ **DON'T YELL AT NAMI-SWAN LIKE THAT!"**_ Sanji's rebuttal was accompanied by a flying roundhouse kick that Zoro was quick to block.

"STAY OUTTA THIS, SANJI!" Usopp snapped before his shoulders slumped in defeat. "What are we gonna do without a map? Our only clue about Woonan is gone!" He moaned over the sound of our chef and swordsman sparring.

Luffy hummed and crossed his arms over his chest in a manner eerily reminiscent of my own when in deep thought. "Wasn't there something written on the map?" He asked with a tiny frown.

_Are you…imitating me?_

Usopp leaned against the stone whale and rubbed at his chin contemplatively. "I think it said… 'The treasure sleeps, look south of the hill. If the whale faces west, the tail points to the east.' "

" _Really?"_ Nami asked, a calculating expression crossing her features. Our sniper didn't seem to notice, however.

"Woonan's castle is to the east…" He continued, and Nami cut him off.

"The tail is to the east?" She asked, pointedly quirking an eyebrow and pointing at the tail of the whale, which was in fact pointing south.

"AHHH I WAS WRONG!" Usopp shrieked, and raced around the side of the statue. "That means that it's pointing…" He trailed off, jaw dropping to his knees.

The mountain we found ourselves facing was more of a volcanic pillar than a true mountain. It rose high above the treeline, and clouds swirled around it, just barely brushing the top.

I blinked and crossed my arms. "Tall." I offered, and Nami punched me in the back of the head.

"WE CAN SEE THAT!"

* * *

We stared up. And up. And up. And up some more.

"That's…" Usopp began.

"Really tall." Nami finished.

I raised an eyebrow from my spot at the rear of the group and cleared my throat pointedly. Nami glanced over her shoulder at me, cheeks faintly pink.

"Is there a path we can take or something?" Sanji wondered aloud.

"Kind of." I pointed at the trail leading up the side of the mountain that a goat would have had a hard time climbing.

Luffy grinned while everyone else looked terrified.

"Are we there yet?" Luffy whined for the thousandth time.

"No."

_Thank you, Zoro._

"What about now?" Thousandth and one.

I eyeballed the distance between us and the ground contemplatively. _Luffy's rubber. He'll bounce._

"Ahhhh hahahahaa…" Usopp laughed nervously at my expression, and motioned towards a cave halfway up the mountain. "Let's… let's go rest for a while guys!" He suggested.

Luffy was the first one in, followed by Tobio and Usopp, while Sanji was a gentleman and offered Nami his hand for balance. Zoro, being right behind me, walked right into my back when I halted due to the pile of Luffy had caused by stopping in his tracks and staring at someone inside the cave "Old man?" He said, sounding surprised, and Tobio darted around him to peer into the gloom.

"Grandpa?"

_Ganzo? The old man made it up here on his own? What the hell is he doing here?_

I sidled up next to my captain and leaned against the cavern entrance as the old man stared at us with wide eyes. "Why are you guys here?" He asked gruffly, his glance flickering over the rest of us as we crowded in.

Nami leaned towards Sanji. "He's Tobio's grandpa?"

Our chef's fingers twitched _\- just remembered his cigarettes are ruined -_ and stuffed his hands in his pockets with a grimace. "Yeah. The geezer brought us here after we fished Kai and Luffy out of the water." He explained, and his brow furrowed. "He's a damn good chef."

"We're taking Tobio to see Woonan." Luffy told Ganzo, and plopped down on the ground next to the oden chef. Zoro and I exchanged a brief look.

_If he's still alive._

The old man's eyebrows drew together in the middle of his forehead. "That explains nothing."

"Ah! I, the Great Captain Usopp, and my army of 80 million men were on a quest to…" Usopp began, and I immediately lost interest in what he was saying. Tobio ignored him and crossed his arms over his tiny chest.

"We found Woonan's castle, but El Drago blew it up." The kid complained, interrupting our sniper's very tall tale, and glared at Nami. "She set the treasure map on fire."

"I see." Ganzo nodded and leaned back against the wall with a faraway look in his eye. "So you found the treasure map…"

"What are you doing here, old man?" Tobio said brattily, and Ganzo sighed.

"Woonan always did like burying his treasure in the highest places." He announced, and I blinked.

_You're saying you knew Woonan personally?_

A quick glance to the side at Tobio's expression told me that the kid had not been aware of this. Ganzo kept going. "Therefore, on this island, the only place he would bury treasure would be on top of this mountain." He said firmly.

"You…knew about Woonan?" Tobio stammered, and Nami leaned forward.

"You've met him before?" She asked, and I shook my head slightly at her before cracking my neck.

"You _**knew**_ him." I announced. Ganzo nodded, and bowed his head for a long moment, gathering his thoughts before speaking. When he did, it was with the tone of a man recalling times long past.

"He and I were like brothers, grew up in the same village. I was training to become an oden chef, and would always bring him my latest creation to try, but he always would reject it without tasting it. That fool carried a nugget of gold around with him that was his father's life savings. He decided that he'd be a pirate and take gold from all the evil people in the world."

He chuckled a little. "He asked me to join him as his first mate, but I refused. I told him that gold doesn't have dreams, doesn't live, doesn't laugh, and doesn't love. Gold is no different from an ordinary rock. He thought that a man's life should be spent pursuing some great ambition. We came to blows over it."

"And?" Zoro prompted when Ganzo fell silent again. He shook his head and sighed.

"Woonan's pirate flag went over the cliff, and he fell when he went to catch it. I followed after him, and we both fell. The flag caught on a branch, and wouldn't support the weight of both of us, so I let go."

"D-did you die?" Luffy asked anxiously.

"HE'S STILL ALIVE YOU IDIOT!" Usopp shrieked at our captain while I palmed my face with my hand.

"By chance, a ship was passing by and fished me out of the water. It was a miracle." Ganzo reminisced, and Luffy's shoulders slumped.

"What, so you didn't die." He mumbled dejectedly.

"OBVIOUSLY NOT!" Everyone other than me yelled at him. I brought my other hand up to cover my face completely and groaned.

"Ignore him." I heard Sanji grit out.

"I woke up three days later, and found that Woonan had already left." Ganzo continued his story. "After that, we never saw each other again."

"I didn't know that." Tobio whispered, stunned.

_Well waving that kind of information around would be just asking to get attacked by people after Woonan's treasure._

"That stubborn man never did eat my oden. But I think now that he would." The chef said, and patted a pot at his side. "So I'm bringing a pot of it to him. I've put my very soul into this food."

This seemed to resonate with Luffy. "A pot of oden that you've put your soul into…" He breathed in awe.

Ganzo rolled his shoulders and stood, hefting his pot of oden. "Let's not waste any more time here, or this will get cold." He rumbled, and I got to my feet and stretched.

"Okay, let's go!" Luffy crowed.

* * *

"Are we there ye…"

"STOP ASKING!" Nami's fist planted itself into Luffy's skull as we crested the top of the mountain. Ganzo had borne up well, resolutely not looking down once the entire time we were climbing, but I decided that since he'd made it halfway up on his own then he must be made of sterner stuff.

I glanced at our surroundings while the others caught their breath. There were very few trees this high up, and the ones that _were_ dotted around had been stripped of their trees by the harsh wind. A building that had clearly seen better days sat in the middle of the plain, and Ganzo made for it unerringly.

"Ohhh, is this Woonan's house?" Luffy chirped, and raced forward.

"Wait up!" Usopp called at his retreating back. We caught up with him as he opened the front door and stepped inside to see…

_This place was never lived in. There's no furniture at all, just stone walls and a fireplace. Is this another fake building?_

"Eh? There's nothing here." My captain frowned, and Nami took off down a side passage, Sanji on her heels. I shot Zoro a glance and began stepping carefully on the stone floor, listening for any traps that might have been placed for the unwary to blunder into.

"It's empty over here too!" Nami's voice echoed down the hallway at us, and Tobio blinked as he took in the abandoned house.

"Did Woonan really live here?" He wondered aloud. Our swordsman crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing as he eyed the walls.

"There aren't any tables or chairs, just a fireplace." He pointed out, and the fireplace fell under his intense scrutiny for a moment before he began stalking towards it.

_Ahhhh, I see. Clever._

He halted beside it, gave it an evaluative look, put a hand on it, and pushed. It slid across the ground with a heavy scrape, revealing a hidden set of stairs leading down beneath the building.

"EHHHHHH?" Luffy goggled. "HOW DID YOU FIND THAT?"

Zoro's eyebrow twitched as his temper, frayed by Luffy's constant badgering on the way up the mountin, finally snapped. "ANYONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO NOTICE SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT A HOUSE WITH ONLY A FIREPLACE IN IT!" He yelled.

I barked a laugh and crossed to stand next to him as Nami and Sanji rejoined us. Usopp grinned down at the stairs and planted his hands on his hips.

"A hidden room!" He said, and Tobio smiled brighter than the sun.

"Woonan must be down there!" the kid exclaimed, sounding happier than I'd yet heard him.

_That fireplace hadn't been moved in years. If Woonan is down there, then he hasn't come out for a very long time._

The others began to move towards the stairs, but the air shifted outside the house and I halted, glancing towards the door that had been left ajar.

_That's odd, it feels like there's someone…_

"DUCK!" Zoro roared, tackling me to the ground in that same instant. We rolled across the ground in a tangled heap, and seconds later the house exploded around us - _El Drago. Shit -_ as he used himself as a shield - _putting himself between me and the beam?_ My arms were tucked between us, his wrapped around my back. His head tilted to cover my face, protecting as much of my body as he could.

When the rubble stopped falling, he inhaled slowly, eyes glancing down at me.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Good. Hang on." His weight shifted heavily to one side before he pulled his knees in and lifted his shoulders, shoving the rubble off of us. I slid my legs out from underneath him and sat up, glancing around for the others. Luffy clawed his way out of the pile of rocks he had been buried in, and another section exploded with the force of Sanji's kick, revealing Usopp and Nami taking shelter beneath him.

" 'If the whale faces west, the tail points to the east.' What a load of shit." I heard the wannabe lion growl from somewhere behind me, and spun on one knee, bracing a hand against the ground. Sure enough, El Drago was standing in front of Tobio and his grandfather, both of whom were half buried beneath the remnants of the house.

"Oh, crap." Usopp muttered.

_El Drago, known threat. Large man with sword, Zoro will handle that, might need to grab him some…ahh those boys in the back have swords. Excellent. Neopolitan Trio is poking around by the stairwell, Tobio likely won't stand for them going after Woonan's treasure._

"El Drago! There's some stairs over here!" Pinky called to his boss, and the Catman perked up.

"Stairs? The gold must be down there. Bring it on up!" El Drago ordered, and I found myself almost wishing for a different class of villain.

_At least have a little style. Brains wouldn't hurt either._

Tobio charged El Drago with a yell and a rock, and the mighty golden moron got ready to backhand him into orbit.

I _moved._ Ganzo was quick for an old man, getting between the descending hand and his grandson, but I was much faster.

"Yo, loudmouth." I greeted him from where I was stopping his backhanded slap with one hand, casually, between him and his intended targets. "Why don't you just go for a swim and be less of a complete and utter dick when you get back." My hand on his fist tightening.

"Huh?"

"You're a fucking idiot." I intoned, dropped into stance, and punched, once. My fist dug deep into his armor, which cracked around it, falling to pieces, and my follow-through?

He got flung on a very long, very high arc, becoming a speck in the distance.

Silence reigned.

I turned to see every member of his crew staring at me in naked horror, and Tobio and Ganzo's jaws had hit the dirt. Sanji and Zoro looked approving, Nami and Usopp were clinging to each other saying something about monsters, and Luffy just looked irritated.

I addressed the most important thing first. "Something wrong, Captain?"

Luffy scowled deeper. "I wanted to be the one to punch him!"

"Oh. Sorry. He was really getting on my nerves." I hummed, and turned to the other pirate crew that was still staring at me. "You do know he's going to land in water, right? And that devil fruit users can't swim?"

They looked at each other, then at me, then at what appeared to be the second in command. He nodded, and they bolted back down the mountain.

"Morons." I sighed, and shifted to look at Ganzo and Tobio. "You both okay?"

"That….was… _ **AWESOME**_!" Tobio crowed and I grinned down at him. Ganzo glanced over at the cleared cellar, leading down to Woonan's lair.

"It was, but we're pretty close to finding Woonan, right?" I pointed out.

"YEAH!"

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's GOOOO!" Luffy practically flung himself down the stairs in excitement.

* * *

The stairs led into a long tunneling mineshaft. We made our way down the mineshaft, after having found and lit one of the lanterns for light.

"I can't believe I finally get to meet Woonan!" Tobio whispered, sounding reverent.

"Yeah." His grandpa grunted. I sighed.

_Tobio's getting his hopes up._

The kid ran ahead to a wooden door that Nami halted at. Our navigator looked it over. "We're here."

"Yeah. Woonan's behind this door." Luffy agreed.

_Okay, so we're pausing for what, dramatic effect? Open the door already!_

Nami pushed the door open, and stepped inside with the light.

_As I thought, nothing but an empty room and a skeleton. Woonan died a long time ago._

"No WAY! This has to be a fake!" To say Tobio was upset would be an understatement. "Woonan has to be somewhere else!" Ganzo halted his tirade by stepping up next to the distraught boy and putting a firm hand on his shoulder, accompanied by a soft shake of the head. Tobio began actually crying. "Grandpa…."

"WOOOOOOOAAAAAAH WHAT IS THAT?" Usopp yelled, pointing at the wall surrounding the door we'd entered the room from. We all turned, and saw ink written all over the wall, like a message.

"Yeah, that's Woonan's writing." Ganzo rumbled.

Usopp began reading aloud, "'To the people who came for the treasure, I am Woonan, the one formerly known as the Great Gold Pirate.' Wait, formerly? What's he mean by that?"

Nami picked up where he left off. "'…but now I'm just a man waiting to die. All the gold I've gathered has been returned to it's rightful owners.'" And at that point she made a sound like she was going to start crying too.

Usopp continued, "There was a battle to fulfill my childhood dream and build a mountain of gold, the likes of which have never been seen before. But as I sit upon it, the words a man once said to me come to mind. 'Gold can't laugh. It's just a rock.' The thing I devoted my entire life to wasn't the gold. It was the adventure to _find_ the gold!"

Zoro started reading when Usopp left off. "There's no gold here anymore, but there is a treasure far more valuable. To others, it might be worthless." Ganzo turned, and walked to the skeleton of his childhood friend. "But to me, this is plenty. Please do not destroy this place. This is where my most precious treasure sleeps."

The others turned to look back at Ganzo, who was pulling from skeletal arms a beaten, battered pirate flag.

_The same one from the story._

Usopp crouched by Tobio and slapped the kid's shoulders. "Your grandpa is awesome! He's the only one that Woonan really trusted!"

"One is a pirate. One is an oden chef. But they share the same pride." Was Zoro's quiet contribution.

The kid broke free of Usopp and ran to hug his grandpa, crying an apology that clearly covered his stubbornness, behavior towards oden chefs, everything. Ganzo sighed.

"Tobio. Live the way you want to live. I'll always protect you."

* * *

A few hours later when we got back down to our ships, I was conned into being a pack mule for Nami as she looted El Drago's ship for everything it was worth. Apparently, the pirates had a bit of a mishap about halfway down. They'd be fine. Eventually. Except for El Drago. He was probably deader than dead.

Also I'd developed an enormous headache that wasn't really helping my mood much. I slugged my way through the goodbyes, loaded the gold up, and slunk into my hammock to get some rest.

Which ended up being a futile endeavor.

Because hours later, late a night, I couldn't sleep.

My mind whirled with thoughts of Crocodile, contingency plans, how to approach him, how to protect the crew from him… _Zoro's muffled snarling, chains rattling, bile rising in my throat as Crocodile's hand descended towards Luffy, "You've always been lovely while begging,_ _ **Morrigaine.**_ _"_

I stared at the hammock-lump above me that was Luffy, one of his feet dangling over the edge, toes curling while he snored.

"Fuck." I murmured, and slid out of my hammock quietly before sneaking up onto the main deck and into the galley, where it was dark and quiet and I could finally _think_.

_If the rest of the crew gets close to Crocodile, he'll use them against me to force me to comply with his demands. It would be best for me to take him on by myself. If he captures me somehow though, the rest of the crew will need to get as far away from him as possible. That's not going to be an easy feat to make happen, Luffy won't back down._

The door creaked open, and I pushed myself slightly off the wall I had been leaning against before recognizing Zoro's silhouette.

"Couldn't sleep?" He rumbled into the darkness of the galley as the door swung shut behind him. I shrugged one shoulder and turned away slightly.

_Something like that._

He hummed low in his throat when I didn't offer an answer beyond that, and crossed to perch on a barrel next to me. "What's on your mind?"

I rolled the question over in my mind for a long moment before shifting to look at the swordsman. "Zoro, when we get to Grand Line and I find Crocodile…" I rasped. A line of tension appeared in the set of his shoulders, and I shifted to look him in the eyes before continuing. "If things go badly and he manages to either capture or kill me, promise me that you will keep the rest of the crew safe and away from him."

Zoro was on his feet and looming over me within seconds, his right forearm pressed against the wall above my head even as my own lay flat against his stomach, creating space between us. _"How many times do I have to tell you we aren't going to let that happen?"_ He snarled quietly, muscles tense beneath my hand.

_How do I make you understand?_

My fingers curled into his haramaki while my other hand rose to his left shoulder, and the swordsman stiffened abruptly at my touch. His breath caught as I began tracing the top of the scar Mihawk had left behind through the fabric of his shirt, but otherwise remained silent. I ignored the weight of his gaze, focusing instead on the feel of the wound as my fingers travelled down it, my eyes trailing down his broad chest until my questing fingers reached his hip. I looked back up at him, his face inches from my own, watching his expression as both my hands twisted into his haramaki.

_Do you get it? You fought a Warlord and would have died had he not shown interest in you. I have no such assurances if my own fight goes badly. The others can't stand up to a Warlord yet._

"Zoro." I whispered aloud, leaning my head back against the wall. "Promise me."

Emotions flickered across his face too quickly for me to follow before his hand slid off the wall to curl around the back of my neck, warm and _real_ and _comforting_. His eyes closed as he pressed his forehead against mine with a sigh that I couldn't decipher.

"I promise."


End file.
